8 yr old DS seems to have lost his listening ears....

[becclesm]

Hi just after some advice on how to cope with my sons sudden change in attitude!! He's answering back, not listening to us i have to ask him to do something 10 times before he does it bit not without s protest and chucks a a temper tantrum when he doesn't get his way, like throws himself on the ground and cries. He has never ever been like this, I've tried everything I know of how to deal with it but nothing changes really. I feel like I've lost my sweet boy who wouldn't act out ever. He has a new baby brother who he adores and is extremely helpful with. I know he's probably acting up because of the new addition but it's becoming a little out of hand! We're at our wits end and hate having to be dragons and rouse on him all the time. Any advice would be great Im at a loss of what to do...

[leoness79]

Bump, my son is exactly the same but loves his baby brother so much!

[EmPowering]

it's the age. I find at work the grade 1,2 and 3s really struggle with listening and taking instructions In recently, feels like I'm talking to thin air. many ofthe parents have brought it up with me too saying they ask them to do something at home and they are ignored too.

hugs <3 maybe a reward type thing for when they do awesome listening to instructions etc ?? sticker chart

[MissMuppet]

Have you tried 1,2,3 Magic? We found it helpful with DD when she got like this after DS was born.

Ask her to do something. Ignores me. 'That's one.' Ask again. Ignored again. 'That's 2.' Ask again. Ignored. 'That's 3, into time out.' 1 min per year roughly. She goes to her room. Its not punishment exactly, so its okay if she plays in there. And you speak calmly, no yelling or anger.

When time's up, she comes out. Ask her again to do whatever it was. If she ignores it. 'That's one'. It never gets further than that, she aways obeys by then. Now she almost never gets to time out. ' That's one' mostly gets her listening.

Sounds simple, but it did work magic for us.

[BigW]

yes, I think we have a matching little man here, sometimes there's just nothing between the ears at all! :)
We use the 'ladder of doom'. Draw up a ladder with your child's bedtime at the top and write time increments down the ladder, eg; bedtime 7.30pm, next rung down 7.15pm, next down 7pm and so on. Each time they don't listen / have a tantrum etc they lose a rung. That is now their new bedtime that night, not reading on their bed or playing in their room until normal bedtime, but teeth brushed, pj's on, into bed. DS (7years) absolutely hates it, just the threat is enough.
This idea is one of Nigel Latta's from in NZ. He's written some great books about boys and mothers and sons. Well worth a read. Good luck with your almost tween-ager! :)

[pianolady]

i second the 123 magic. It works well here with our 5 & 8 year old.

[jazzcait]

Definately an age thing. My DS is now 9 years old, and started the same thing at about 8 yrs, drives me nuts. I'm still looking for answers on how to deal with it.

[Jordysmum]

If you find his listening ears, can you check to see if my 8yo daughters are there too!?
I have seen a few times people mentioning this 1 2 3 Magic? Might have to look into it.
After a volcanic erruption of bad behaviour last night, my partner threatened to remove all responsibilty of parenting and I can take on 100%. Parenting can be hard, but I guess it's hard to see from a step parents view too.
Kids are mysterious little creatures!:yes:

Good luck with your son, and let us know if you find a miracle cure for 8yearold-itis! :cantbelieveit:

[faroutbrusselsprout]

DS has just turned 8 and is exactly the same!!! Such hard work. He is harder than my two toddlers ATM.
We also have a chart that he moves up and down. Reaching the top he gets a reward and reaching the bottom has a punishment (not playing footy, not watching the block etc..)
If you do it with them so they have input into rules, rewards it becomes more relevant to them.
Also lots of talking and one on one time. I find 15 minutes of sitting in his room chatting to him about his footy cards (which is completely boring for me!) does wonders for his behaviour.
It's tough being the eldest, lots of adjusting etc.

[maybenumber3]

My son is 6 and is exactly the same, hope it doesnt last too long :mad: