Seperation Anxiety at 3yrs+ ??? help!

[LadyLou]

Hi there,

Had a look at the other threads on this topic but my little man will be four in January and we have hit Seperation Anxiety AGAIN!

It is very annoying to say the least and I can't put my finger on what has actually triggered it. I am not sure if this is a normal developmental stage or not, it's one I wasn't ready for anyway!

Basically myself or my husband cannot leave the room without DS cracking it. He generally asks us each and every time we leave the room where we are going and to come back and not leave him. Should you happen to leave the room without his knowledge then the tears start, he panics and madly runs from room to room calling out.

We have never deserted this child - so I am totally lost!

The only thing that has changed is that I now work four days instead of three. He is still in the same childcare centre and is dropped off and picked up at the same times as always. We do have a new baby on the way but I was expecting that to impact after the birth not prior.

Another thing is when we are out and about. I can't even walk two metres from the trolly at the supermarket without the panic starting. He seems to have developed a real stranger danger fear too. This used to be a child that would say hello to anyone and everyone quiet happily, now he hides and says that man/lady is looking at me and doesn't want me to leave his side. He seems to have gone from a very happy confident child to a very wary scared child. It's very upsetting.

I have asked him about it and why he thinks that I would ever leave him - but being 3+ we don't get too far.

Has anyone else experienced this and if so how did you help your child? I'd love any advice as it's breaking my heart!

Thanks:crying:

[babyboo]

DD is nearly 3 1/2 and we seem to enter a similar faze. But mostly if im in a shopping centre she will say 'mummy that man/lady, etc is looking at me' and will shy away from strangers.

She also used to be a child that would go off with anyone (which was worrying), but now she is changing (ive noticed). Im thinking its an age thing - im a little lost with it too.

One minute she is fine the next minute she is clinging to me I know it is hard to get them to express their feelings. If DD is acting strange i sit down and try to ask her in a term she will understand.

sorry i couldnt be much help.

[Ky]

My friend has a son who is 5 who has horrific seperation anxiety. He screams for an hour or so after Daddy walks out the door for work, screams all day when left at pre-school (it isn't as if he is alone ... his twin sister and little sister are there!) and clings to his mum during meetings instead of going to a provided creche even though he knows everyone there and the person running it has been in his life constantly since he was a baby!

Funnily enough, he is happy to be left at my place and I am probably the person who is toughest on him :confused:

I don't know how he is going to cope with school next year, but I guess we will have a taste of it tomorrow when he goes to orientation day. I will be looking after his little sister so that his mum gets a break ... a child like this is incredibly tiring and unfortunately other kids in the family tend to be left out a bit due to the attention seeking behaviour.

Hopefully, with your little ones it is a quick phase ... my ds had a period of a few months this year (just after he turned 3) when he cried every time I took him to creche at church even though he had been going for over a year, absolutely loved the lady who runs it (every sunday he brushes his hair to be handsome for Mrs Jan - lol). I perservered in leaving him with them and made sure that I got back out to collect him as soon as possible and one day he just happily went and has never fussed since!

All kids are different ... thank goodness!