Worried about second time around

[Sheer Bliss]

Hi! I am pregnant with my second, and breastfed my princess until she was about 10-11months. She was a fussy little girl & although i enjoyed breastfeeding her, there were many times that it was a struggle. I think part of the problem was introducing a bottle of EBM at 2weeks so daddy could bond, and the bottle was so much easier than the breast that she fussed when she went back to the breast. This coupled with a MIL that was costantly telling me my baby was hungry (and telling others behind our back that we were starving her & she really needed a bottle of formula as my milk wasn't good enough) led to a heap of stress, reduced supply & very slow let-down as i couldn't relax. It got to the point where DD was sucking for 5 mins on the breast without let-down because i was that uptight that the MIL was in the room.
I really don't want it to happen this time, but am unsure of how to deal with it. I don't want to start-off on the wrong foot by maaking a bigdeal of it upfront (the MIL might not be so bad this time around), but don't want it to get out of control.
Any suggestions, especially on how to relax more to help let-down, even in stressful situations would be greatly appreciated. I know the bottle is out for the first 3 months, but not sure what else to try.

[Goosie22]

Hi,

I think having all your feelings out in the open is the way to start. Your concerns need to be respected, after all its your baby and you are caring for it. Probably if you keep the bottle out of the picture to start with untill you need to go to work or the like a lot of the problems wont happen this time. But its good to let people know how they can help instead of telling them what not to do. Slip in a few last time this didnt help type comments before you give them a positive pointer?

[Funkychicken]

It's tricky when family member's believe they know best. My mum never outright told me what to do but she would make suggestions such as "Do you think your nipple is too small now?":eek: . It can wear you down and contribute to you questioning yourself and as you have said, this in turn creates unnecassary stress. I have found that taking care of myself is the biggest contributor to a good milk supply. Loads of water, a good complete calcium supplement (such as Sandra Cabot's), magnesium supplement and I also take fenugreek regularly to keep my supply up. In the first few weeks (longer if possible) spend as much time as you can in bed with your bub, letting him/her feed as much and as often as possible. This will help to establish your supply. And trust in yourself-you are in control of this, not your MIL! Be as open as you can about your decisions and if you need to, limit your contact with her-people who do this sort of thing make such a habit out of it so by limiting time spent with her, you may be able to break her habit.
All the best! :thumbsup:

[jarrahsmumma]

hey charli's mum,
sounds like you know what is best (and what was best for your first) but need some confidence to back it up. try an ABA breastfeeding course and take your partner along too. you can learn the best way to support each other through the first few weeks.

as for MIL, they always give "well meaning" advice, let it pass you by. find a few good come-backs like "well it works for us"..."both her and I are happy" etc dont let her insecurities ruin your fantastic (soon to be) BF relationship.

maybe MIL might benefit from an ABA course too:yes: