5 Years And Still Trying

[coomber]

:o Hi everyone.
Well last month gone (Sep) was the fifth year for us trying to have a baby. After crying, distraught, worried and lots of could be's. I am now on my last leg.
I do have one little boy who is 7 years old to my previous relationship, my husband also has one to his previous. So we know we both can have kids, but why has it been so hard for us to conceive??:no:
I am currently going to the hospital for blood tests and my husband has had a sperm check. All ok except for my hormone level was high, I've had ultra sounds to discover a 3.5cm cyst. That went away, ouch.
I am in the process for a laproscopy to be done soon. Just fed up, I never imagined having another baby would be so hard. I'm only 27 my partner 34. Fed up guys
Could anyone shed a little light? PWESE

[HelenHasTwins]

Coomber, I know how you feel:hugs: We have been trying for 3 years also, my husband and I had all the tests under the sun, until I went to a great GYN and she booked me in for a Laparoscopy straight away, anyway they found out my tubes were upsidedown, they were facing upwards stuck to the wall of my uterus ( due to a little bit of endo) and no were near my ovaries. The following month I went in for another Lap to fix the problem...Doctor said everything should be fine now, but she has started me on clomid today to help things along

So here is hoping you have something relatively simple like I did to fix , maybe you just need your tubes flushed out, they say alot of women fall straight after having a Laparoscopy....Anyway if you need someone to chat with you can PM me.

Good luck

Cheers Helen

[Allgoodthings!]

Hey and welcome! :wave:

I understand your frustration completely! Its been 21 months for us and I know that 2 year mark will be difficult if we're not blessed in the meantime.

You've probably been given lots of advise and conception hints throughout your ttc journey so is there something in particular that you're curious about that we can help with so your not bombarded with info you already know?

(((Hugs)))
It WILL happen soon - it just has too!

[wannabemum]

Hi Ladies, Just wanted to let you know my heart is with all of you trying :hugs: , what an exhausting and heartbreaking time you are going through, :fingerscrossed: it will happen for you, you all deserve it!

[coomber]

Thanks Honey, don't take this the wrong way but its nice to know I am not the only one around me finding it difficult. Well thats a good thing that the docs have found the problem and they are going to fix it!! Fantastic stuff.
I have got to go back to the hodpital in two weeks to see if they are going to put me on hormone tablets for a while or go in for the lap. Its just so damn frustrating isnt it, all my friends are haveing no problems, and when a couple of em say you can have my eggs, geez i just want to slap em. cheers hon, let me know how your goig with things xo

[coomber]

Thanks honey for repling. :D
It is so hard when all your friends find falling pregnant so easy. Then they say well you already have one. I just think yes I do and I am so grateful, but that doesnt mean its not hard for myself and my husband as it would be our first. Also I just want another baby. Whats so wrong with that. Having all these tests and leading to surgery just to have a baby, maybe. Well I never thought falling pregnant the second time round would be so hard.
How have you been going hun, have you gone to the docs yet?
hanging in just barely:gloomy:

[coomber]

Thanks luv. I am so just hanging in there. I know I keep telling myself chillout it will happen, but after five years I kinda feel like rubbish. I will be better tomorrow just having a bad day

[pippi]

Hi there,

I know exactly how you feel. We have been trying for 13 months and then had every test under the sun to find out there is no physical reason why it hasn't happened for us yet. My DH and I have been happy married for 1 1/2 years and are really easy going people so its not stress either :banghead: . Try and keep your chin up, i know some days are sooo hard, especially when AF arrives yet again. The worst is when people (who are only trying to be nice) say 'it will happen when its meant to". I swear it makes me want to scream. Please PM if your having a bad day or want to chat. I am currently using Maybe Baby to see if that works and I have bad days too :gloomy: . Try ad stay positive and come this site and read the forums, its helped me sooo much, just to know I'm not alone.

:fingerscrossed: for you and your DH

[Allgoodthings!]

It's wonderful to hear they have given you a possible reason and you're lap may be the answer!

The hardest thing I think is the not knowing. Even a glimmer of hope manages to keep me going these days!

My big issue is very irregular periods...very irregular!
Once every 6-18 months irregular!
It bugs me as over 6 months most woman have 6 chances at conceiving and I've only had one!

It's hard physically and emotionally when long term ttc - and there really are lots of us - so we have to stick together and support each other.

:)

[coomber]

thanks luv. I am certainly glad I found this web site!!!
Have you had any kids before or is this your first time trying?
Ive gotta say 5 years is starting to sound scary.
Chin up though hay, us women are as strong as bulls

[Femme la Phoenix]

Hi Ladies...Hi especially Coomber
WoW it is an exhaustive journey and some days or months it seems longer and longer. At low points you just simply feel like you will never be able to experiance motherhood again and the joy of feeling a little bebe growing and thriving inside you.

Coomber, we have being trying for 120 cycles or 10 years. Through that time I have had so much heartache, sadness and sorrow over losing so many babies - I do say 10 but in honesty the number is much more than that; and they all were lost at various weeks of pregnancy some in the second trimester. I and we have had investigations as well, some specialists would not even give me the time and courtesy to investigate my habitual miscarrying. My partner into sperm analysis. I found a specialist who made a huge break through with me and we have turned the corner. For me, I have sleep apnea, that being the reason why pregnancies had being miscarrying.

Also, like you I too, have a son he is 10 years old and desperately wants to have a little brother or sister or both. It is heartbreaking, wanting to do something that is a natural thing - have a baby. Women are doing it everyday, sometimes it seems every other woman but you. Falling pregnant the first time was easy and I could not understand why on earth I could not hold onto a pregnancy. There is a condition known as secondary infertility many women have it, many here are experiencing it at vary degrees. Specialists can not determine what happens, why it happens to some and not others. It is though it is a gynecological mystery.

There comes a time on this journey that your fed up with feeling so down. It was like a switch went off and I felt that the way I was feeling was not helping me. So I decided to change, from then on. I made a book, on positive things, sayings, quotes anything that seemed to help and I wrote them in a small book that I take with me everywhere. I read it first thing in the morning with my cuppa, and throughout the day if I have - one of those moments - if I am waiting in line, for an appointment and feel anxious whatever your feeling and it helps it honestly has helped me so much. Another thing is to always accentuate the - the positive - so if something happens, or your thoughts take you to a negative place....turn it around, think of a positive. Yep, this is hard and I really struggled with it but with practice it does work.

It helps to talk about things here, there are also journals for your trying to concieve journey you can write your thoughts, experiance it can be a good realise as well.

Above all, remember, not to give up...that so long as your moving towards your goal your getting closer. If you give up you many never know how close you came.

xxxx

[wantagirl]

Hi! I just wanted to say I am sorry your journey to be a mom again is taking so long! It has to be very fustrating. You said you had a cyst. Did the Dr. say if you have pcos(poly cystic ovarian syndrome) or not? This is when the egg forms a cyst on your ovaries every month instead of releasing. If you are overweight, have excess hair growth(arms, toes, face ect.) and irregular cycles, then this could be your problem. Blood test would tell you. Some women who have pcos are not overweight and don't have the other complaints like facial hair and acne problems, so if you don't fall in this category it could still be your problem. Endometriosis is another you should be aware of. It can cause infertility until treated properly. Laproscopy is the best way to determine if this is your problem. It can sometimes be picked up through ultra sound but most often is not found until laprocopy is done. And like the other post said laproscopy will help clear your tubes. If you have painful, heavy periods then this could be endo. Sometimes it is just a simple hormonal imbalance that can be corrected with clomid or herbal supplements work for some.

[Livy]

I just wanted to say that I think you ladies are amazing and so strong! We have only been trying almost a year and after heaps of tests, including a HSG we have been put in the un-explained category. I know we haven't even been trying for that long - but it still gets to us. I hope you get that very deserved baby luck soon :fingerscrossed:

[Allgoodthings!]

It really is hard regardless of how long you've been trying, but it seems that as each time frame draws closer such as 12 months, 2 years, 5 years etc it really hits home.

I know it would be just as hard to have secondary infertility. The questions such as 'we've done it once why not again' constantly swirling around in your head would add to the heartache of long term ttc. I imagine it would add another element of stress to the usual ttc thoughts. I cant see how already having a child would ease the need for another - even though I'm trying for number 1, I imagine the desire to 'go again' once you've seen what a beautiful child you can make would be so unbelievably strong.

Regardless of ttc number 1 or number 10, when you are struggling to conceive if you think about how long it's taking everyday it would just do your head in so you need to find ways to love each day!

LJ you are very strong, and I'm sure your journey has made you the incredible, grounded person you are. Your positive thinking book is a wonderful idea Im going to look into further and I'll probably suggest to DH he consider it too. Although we already find ourselves thanking the universe for small positives to encourage us and keep us happy day to day.

We'll get there everyone...there is a baby waiting for all of us! Maybe Im naieve, but I personally really need to believe that so I can keep plodding along this path I've been dealt.

(((group hug))) for us all!

xx:) xx

[pippi]

Thank you ladies for sharing your stories, I agree that it doesn't matter if you TTC#1 or #10 its still a very difficult journey if it doesn't happen easily.

I find it hard because for 10 years I was on the pill trying not to get pregnant and now its taken 13 months and I wonder why was on the pill to begin with. I honestly don't think I'll bother in the future because any babies that I'm meant to have are welcome!

Its just such an emotional rollarcoaster. I realised the other night that DH and I have now become the couple that no asks if we are having kids. When we were first married, people asked us all the time and now no one says anything. We have become the ones that are trying with no sucess. It kinda good in a way cause I got sick of people asking me all the time and having to explain that it just hadn't happened yet. :fingerscrossed: :fingerscrossed: for all of you, stay positive and I hope all you get BFP this month:hugs:

[samsara]

Hi all
I just wanted to say I understand your frustration as my DH and I have been trying for 6 years and have had no luck with IVF yet. It takes a lot of courage to keep trying we have found. Going and seeing a FS and doing IVF has helped a lot though as we understand more about why we are having so much trouble so I would encourage anyone having trouble to at least see a FS. We had a lot of wrong info at first and after a year of trying were told, 'You're ovulating and his sperm is healthy so just keep trying and it'll happen' by my GP.
I feel as though we wasted time as instead of finding out more sooner, we just kept trying ourselves for another year and a half. I then saw a FS and found out I had endometriosis and now my eggs have aged prematurely so I always wonder if we had sort the FS specialist sooner would things have been easier. Maybe not , but my FS said anyone trying for more than 12months should seek help just in case. Anyway that's my 2 cents worth, hope it helps.
S

[bobby]

I feel as though we wasted time as instead of finding out more sooner, we just kept trying ourselves for another year and a half. I then saw a FS and found out I had endometriosis S
OMG Samsara, Thats what we did. Just kept trying as we already had a DS (just turned 17). The best thing we did was turn to help and I ask myself why was I so scared to take that step. Was is pride? I do agree that staying positive is very important, I felt myself losing it and my ealousy of friends with 2 or more children still creaps in. Only natural and I've quit beating myself up over my feelings.