Babies crying in the car - need advice

[LoCo]

I hope I don't get shot down for this thread like I do IRL but I hate my 6mnth old crying so in a nutshell I don't let her cry. I attend to her needs and wants straight away and I love how I can make her happy in a split second.

She is generally a happy baby and only cries to communicate, HOWEVER the CAR can be a different story. Some days she will cry in the car so hard that she starts to cough and choke. It gives me such bad anxiety and its actually stopping me from taking long drives with her.

What do you do when your baby cries like this in the car? Do you pull over? Do you let them cry? I really don't know why some days she does this as its not nappy or food because I always make sure she is clean and full before we leave.

I complain of having no friends but when I get invited out I cancel because I think its all to hard and rather take her to places closer to me.

What do you do? The only advice I have received IRL from a "friend" is crying doesn't hurt them why don't you just chill out :( This does not help me at all it just makes me feel like a loser of a mother.

Any advice? Oh and do they get better?

[cuddlz]

You are not the only one that doesn't like it when your bub cries, I really don't like it either. But if I'm in the car, it's actually just tough luck. It's different if I have like an hours drive and she is in hysterics but if I have a short trip to go, then she just has to cry it out I'm afraid.

So don't worry, you are not a bad mother for letting your little one cry for a few minutes in the car ;) :D

[cuddlz]

If your baby is choking, then yes I'd stop... sorry I missed that part :(

[elleseetee]

My DS does exactly the same thing. He's 5 months old and always has. I hate going anywhere because it's absolute torture listening to him. I've tried putting toys in his reach and this helped a little bit, but he still has times where he screams as though someone's attacking him.
I have a few regular "on-the-way" stops to most places , so if he's still crying, I can pull over. I usually just attempt to feed him, calm him and then say "sorry honey but we've just gotta get there!".
Not much help :( but I'm interested in responses for you!

[Guest1234]

Have you tried music? DD1 really responded well to nursery rhymes, MIL got us a CD and it was overplayed every time we went in the car.
Another suggestion is talking to her, or even singing to her yourself.
Perhaps a mirror so she can see you and you can see her?
If your DH is driving, sit in the back with her.

[smallpotatoes]

Like Bell and Bug suggested, we do the CD thing - we've got a Play School sing along one which she likes. I used to sing to her as well which would work sometimes.

I've also got a mirror there which she can see herself and I can turn around and see her.

I also try and make sure she has her Sophie to play with in the back seat.

I'm the same as you LoCo, I don't like to let her cry. I pull over if it's safe to do so. Or if it's not (and DH is driving), I lean over and hold her hand. I also hold her hand at traffic lights etc (we have a very small car).

[jsma10]

I think it's a stage most babies go through at that age. I remember my son doing this and I was an hysterical mess by the time I got to my destination!

I found talking to them helps heaps, and playing music that they are familiar with or that is fairly 'chilled out' works as well.

You can't shut yourself off from visiting people because you are scared bubs will cry ..... it's likely she will cry, but think about it, how is she ever going to get used to the car if you don't take her in there?

:hugs:it's hard sometimes it really is

[Manny]

I cant stand crying and whingeing in the car find it so distracting, so Im another supporter of the playschool CD. Instant silencer. She LOves it.

[trishalishous]

we sing, have a light up mirror toy, use toys, if theeres a passenger they sit with bubs.
we have had to let her cry once, during an 11hr drive which should take 4hrs. the first 8 hrs we stopped every km and resettled her, but it got to the point where dh had been driving for so long, he was exhausted, and the safest thing was just to keep driving while i tried to comfort her

[Sibella]

Don't have advice as my 4 month old does the same and has been doing it since she was a week old! And I have to drive every day to drop my other kids at school.

So I drop and run to minimize getting in and out the car. Today I tried a lullaby CD and that seems to work quite well, also her sisters singing / chatting / holding her.

And always making sure that she's clean and fed before you set off, and not too hot either.

But that's just the one place where we can't be there and they will eventually get used to it... I hope!

[kbf2plus2]

I too hate the crying. We live 35kms from town and every town day I find myself saying, "I HATE TOWN DAYS!!! because at some stage she'll be crying her heart out and there'll be nothing I can do about it because I'm rushing to get from one place to the next before they close. I HATE traffic lights. Sometimes she'll just start to settle from the motion of the car and then we get stopped at traffic lights and she arcs up again.
I talk to her or active listen her as best I can. As soon as I'm able to, I stop and do her nappy and/or feed her and make sure she's not too hot or too cold. Sometimes that does the trick. Sometimes she is ready for sleep and because she is used to going to sleep in my arms it just doesn't help at all and she ends up crying herself to sleep which breaks my heart.
With my other two girls we found they had "magic songs" that worked every time. DD1's song was "This old man" and DD2's was "Old MacDonald". Didn't matter how hard they were crying, as soon as we started singing those songs it would stop. (Almost always, anyway.)

[Kitty10]

You are not alone! I am pretty sure a good percentage of babies hate the car - I can think of quite a few friends who avoided travel because it was torture - and I totally remember getting upset at the traffic lights for stopping momentum :p

A few little things that helped me
- CDs
- when they get old enough playing with toys seemed to help
- I had a little light-show thing that played music/lights that attached to the top of the car seat which worked well.
- My sister's baby was not happy in the car until she was old enough to be turned front on. Then she was suddenly happy to be in the car! Probably not much of a comfort to you when your baby is so young...

But, I think that it is generally normal to avoid travelling whenever possible if your baby is distressed about it! Don't feel bad about that! But of course small trips and essential trips are going to have to happen, but I hope that as your bub gets older it gets better :fingerscrossed:

[TripleTime]

I stop ASAP & sort them out. Even at almost 3, I still stop ASAP.

[duckduckgoose]

I always stopped and cuddled DS. Even if I had to then drive 5 more minutes, stop and cuddle again. I was late everywhere for many months because DS would always cry until he turned forward facing. DH and MIL and everyone else thought I was ridiculous. I don't care. Obviously if it was on the highway I wouldn't stop and hold up traffic, but if it was safe I would.

[headoverfeet]

3rd baby, 3rd baby that cries in the car, only thing that works 9/10 times is emergency essence if that doesn't work we stop( obviously if I know she is hungry we will stop ASAP so she can eat).

[wrena]

You sound like a wonderful responsive mama. Good on you. I'd also recommend nursery rhymes and music. It is total BS that leaving a baby to cry doesn't harm them and I found that it certainly made me an unsafe driver. This stage will pass, hopefully before too long! It is definitely safer to have bub rear facing but they do tend to be happier when they can face forward. I don't know if it's true but I think that babies facing backwards can get carsick - they certainly look that way. I also found that once DD got really into books at around 8 months that those little cardboard books with pictures of food or animals would entertain her in the car for ages

[LoCo]

Wow thanks to each reply guys I've picked up a few tips will give them a go. :)

[veve]

I stop ASAP & sort them out. Even at almost 3, I still stop ASAP.

nice in theory .. but I couldn't do it .. I would be basically housebound :(

my boys were both screamers in the car .. it was the whole way (till asleep) EVERY trip .. they hated the capsule, they hated rear facing .. they hated the car

things DID get better when they were older, and forward facing and sitting up more - but they still get car sick (both of them) so long trips (anything over 20 mins really) are still horrid.

I still remember driving from my mums house (40 mins on a good day) and crying most of the way home .. I was trying to drive, while holding his dummy in while he SCREAMED .. I cried pretty much the whole trip myself - I was at my wits end :( I hated driving, because HE (DS1) hated driving :(

There are only so many trips you can 'time' with their sleep time :(

worst thing - I would pull over .. the DS1 would immediately settle - I would calm him , talk to him .. cuddle him etc - put him back in the seat to continue the journey and the screaming would immediately re-start ..

I even went to someone and had the car seats checked over (to check that there wasn't anything digging into the child) .. I tried light up mirrors, music, dummies, and when they were sitting up I would offer food like basic biscuits .. but for us it was STILL hard in the car ...

you have my complete sympathies OP - I used to be so jealous of people who had babies that slept in the car... my boys would only sleep from exhaustion :( it was heartbreaking

it DOES get better .. but for some kids it just takes time :hugs:

[MsMummy]

Cds and singing. Once I had to sing 'da glumph goes the mothereffing frog' about 100 times.

There were occasions I had to keep driving for whatever reason, and it was hard as I didn't let him cry.

I almost had an accident when he was screaming one day as I became distracted. Not fun times.

My son grew out of it, thankfully.

[crunchie]

I hope I don't get shot down for this thread like I do IRL but I hate my 6mnth old crying so in a nutshell I don't let her cry. I attend to her needs and wants straight away and I love how I can make her happy in a split second.

She is generally a happy baby and only cries to communicate, HOWEVER the CAR can be a different story. Some days she will cry in the car so hard that she starts to cough and choke. It gives me such bad anxiety and its actually stopping me from taking long drives with her.

What do you do when your baby cries like this in the car? Do you pull over? Do you let them cry? I really don't know why some days she does this as its not nappy or food because I always make sure she is clean and full before we leave.

I complain of having no friends but when I get invited out I cancel because I think its all to hard and rather take her to places closer to me.

What do you do? The only advice I have received IRL from a "friend" is crying doesn't hurt them why don't you just chill out :( This does not help me at all it just makes me feel like a loser of a mother.

Any advice? Oh and do they get better?

I could have written this 12 mths ago about DD ( who is now 18 mo), I simply didn't go anywhere with her, it was too distressing for both of us. Even still anything over half an hr in the car is a no no. We have a DVD player, nursery rhymes cd( she likes this ) toys and food for every car journey.

I used to feel like we and she was missing out on so much as we NEVER went anywhere but it was too hard!

Hope it gets easier.
X

[Hollywood]

You are not the only one that doesn't like it when your bub cries, I really don't like it either. But if I'm in the car, it's actually just tough luck. It's different if I have like an hours drive and she is in hysterics but if I have a short trip to go, then she just has to cry it out I'm afraid.

So don't worry, you are not a bad mother for letting your little one cry for a few minutes in the car ;) :D

This is me too. My parents and DD's grandparents all live about 50 minutes drive away, and it's just not practical to be stopping constantly to attend to DD. she cried the first few times in the car (she'd been fed/changed so it wasn't that), and just got better with time. Now she's 4.5 months old and is very content in the car. She quite often falls asleep peacefully, even if she's not due for a nap, so car trips are quite pleasant now.

[Penny88]

DS can be like that sometimes. If it's not a long trip then I nut it out and sing his somg to him - he has a magic song too - Hush Little Baby. Otherwise I stop.

I hope DS grows out of it too - I don't know how many more times I can sing that song!

[onedayatatime]

I could have written this post word for word.

With my first bub I just gave up driving altogether and went nowhere with her except the doctors for 6 months. I was housebound and miserable about it too.

I have a 10 week old and my first bub is now 3. I cannot expect miss 3 to be a hermit, so I do go out a few times a week.

bubby screams and it's horrible, but I figure if I keep stopping it prolongs the agony so I'm better off to just keep driving and concentrate on the road.

I just choose locations that are not too far away from home.

I'm not miserable like I was with first bub. My mental health is better off getting out and about in the world a bit more this time.

At least you know it's not just you and loads of crying Mums and babies are out there on the road at the same time as you!

[happygrl]

DS was a screamer for his first six months RF. He would cry and scream and cough and choke. A couple of times he vomited.

I tried pulling over and comforting him and/or feeding him, but as soon as I put him into his chair again he would start back up. There were times when I was by the side of the road for an hour or more trying to settle him.

After almost being in (and causing) several accidents due to me being distracted, crying and sleep deprived I turned him at 6 months, even though I wanted to go to 12, and had purchased a car seat that would have allowed that.

We now enjoy car trips. We can sing and talk. I can pass food back to him if he wants it. We've even done several interstate car trips.

I might get shot down for saying this, but sometimes it IS safer to have a baby
FF.

[Windupbird]

Dd is only three months so all of these might not be age appropriate, but here are a few things that i don't think have been mentioned that are helping with dd-
Put one of your tshirts in the car seat so bub can smell you (I think this has actually helped)
Turn aircon/vents on high for the white noise
I just took the sunshade off the back window and dd seems to be happier looking around
I have this car gallery and she seems to like it:
http://www.amazon.com/Manhattan-Toy-Car-Seat-Gallery/dp/B00009KWV5/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1330470419&sr=8-1

I'm so glad to read this thread. My ILs think I'm insane for not letting dd cry it out in the car and my childhood nurse's response was that dd (then 8 weeks) needed to learn to 'tough it out'.

[cuddlz]

I remember one night I was driving from Newport to Rouse Hill, which is a distance and DD had her dummy and blanky, and she threw her dummy in the car and was SCREAMING so I stopped at the first servo, and searched my car HIGH AND LOW for this dummy. In the end I gave her a cuddle and said tough luck sister, you're on your own LOL She is a bit older than some of your bubs tho... she is almost 2. So she understands not to throw her dummy away.

[bumMum]

My daughter screams every time in the car without fail.. She just screams for her life. I have tried every trick. Once when we got stuck in traffic I breastfed her in the car. :/ I felt I really had no choice as we couldn't pull to the side, we had a long wait in traffic and even with me sitting beside her she wouldn't calm.. It may have actually made it worse. So I have very little advice as nothing has worked for me.. But if you really need to get away from the house, or you have errands to do.. I think you just have to accept that sometimes your baby will cry.. No its not ideal, but its not ideal to never go anywhere and become miserable and feel trapped. Its great to be responsive. But our needs matter too sometimes.

Sent from my BlackBerry 9100 using Tapatalk

[LoCo]

Oh wow thanks I have some great tips will give them a shot. Im heading out this morning:freakingout: see how we go yet again:goodvibes:

[Kalgurl]

My baby girl is 5 months old now and she used to scream at the top of her lungs and kind of push her chest up to strain against the infant carrier restraints. It was heartbreaking - we were both such a mess during and after each car trip that we stopped travelling anywhere. Resorted to online shopping and getting hubby to grab anything else. But the way she used to react it was more than just not being able to see me. So we tried putting all car windows down a couple of centimetres and placed a smiling picture of me on the back seat and gave her a few scrunchy toys to play with. We've had fantastic car trips for 2 months now. Think it was probably the air pressure on her ears more than anything else. So windows are always down a bit now.

[LoCo]

Ahhhh thank goodness this is over:)
things are awesome in the car now:)

[bluebutterfly74]

My DD is not a great car traveller. And we have preschool run three mornings a week. Unfortunantly I have to just let her scream it out. One day I had an appointment and it took an hour and half to get home which was due to road works. She screamed the whole way home hysterically, it was awful and because I had another spot to be I couldn't pull over. She survived, me on the other hand was a nervous wreck by the end. She just has to get use to it. I make sure she is fed, and dry and clean and that she has had enough time to get up any wind. I figure maybe she gets car sickness, who knows whats going on in there little heads. I know I don't like to be rear facing on buses or trains. Maybe she is the same. Goodluck