Selfish co/sleeping - bed sharing

[Bubbygirl]

So i just realised i am co sleeping bedsharing with my 3 yr old.

But my question is are my reasons selfish for doing so and am i wrecking future progress of her sleeping alone?


Ok so routine is -
Bed at 7pm in her own bed
Is put to bed awake with bottle & dummy kiss & hugs

She wakes on & off till i go to bed, if shea not hysterically crying she stays in her bed untill i go to bed - i then go get her /stays asleep n put her in my bed

She wakes various amounts during the night and will wake properly between 5:30 & 6am

I have 5 bottles beside my bed each with 2cm high of water in them.

My reasons -

Bottles side bed because all i have to do is put my arm out grab it n give it to her & fall back to sleep

In my bed because she wants a horrible amount and il never get any sleep getting up & down

And because all honesty im to scared to get out of bed and walk through the house at night even with the lights on.

I also sleep with the door shut because im scared with it open

Also because my bedroom is far from her room & i just no i wont her her cry, even if the door was open.

Thoughts?

Will she ever sleep in her own bed. And not wake?

Oh and il mention to she was more than a newborn baby majority of the time!

[BabushkaMumma]

Are you happy?

Is she happy?

Then keep going.

I co-slept because I didn't want to get up all night long when a quick feed and a cuddle would mean sleep for everyone. Call me selfish ;)

I don't know of any adults, actually even teenagers (excluding those in mitigating circumstances such as fear etc) that sleep with their parents still.

She will move to her own bed in her own time, or at your encouragement when it no longer works for you.

Enjoy it while it's something she enjoys to do and while it makes sleep more easier.

[Bluest Blue Box]

Sent from my GT-I9000 using BubHub

[trishalishous]

i was coslept and went to my own room no problems :)

[Melzey]

Bless your heart!

My DD is 3 in April and until I fell pregnant with #2 our night time was pretty similar.
DD came with me to my bed, she fell asleep and that was where she stayed. I had three bottles lined up bedside and when she woke up I gave her one.

Problem was, I was still so tired because she kept waking me up for said bottles. So, #1 - I stopped the formula, and just gave her water in her bottle, I just made sure I didn't turn the light on so she didn't see what was in there ;) Yea, she wasn't stoked about it but she accepted In just over a week, and she stopped waking for it. But it does t sound like you have formula in them?

I'm not sure of you are sharing the bed with a partner as well but that was partly our motivation for getting her out of our bed. Honestly, if I didnt have DH with me she would probably still be in here :) and it was hard, We got so used to having her in our bed it was really hard to put her in her own bed.. ;)

So #2 she now goes to her own bed at 8.30, im 34 weeks pregnant and cant fit in her bed so DH takes her and lays next to her until she goes to sleep, thankfully she stays there most nights until early hours of the morning (about 4 or 5 am). But it took a few nights of her waking up and us just going and laying with her until she went back to sleep to get to this point. Admittedly, she is in the room right. Next door, but there is no way she would allow us not to hear her ;)

So, this is what we found works for us. I hope you find what works for you :)

[Bubbygirl]

Bless your heart! My DD is 3 in April and until I fell pregnant with #2 our night time was pretty similar.
DD came with me to my bed, she fell asleep and that was where she stayed. I had three bottles lined up bedside and when she woke up I gave her one.

Problem was, I was still so tired because she kept waking me up for said bottles. So, #1 - I stopped the formula, and just gave her water in her bottle, I just made sure I didn't turn the light on so she didn't see what was in there ;) Yea, she wasn't stoked about it but she accepted In just over a week, and she stopped waking for it.

I'm not sure of you are sharing the bed with a partner as well but that was partly our motivation for getting her out of our bed. Honestly, if I didnt have DH with me she would probably still be in here :) and it was hard, We got so used to having her in our bed it was really hard to put her in her own bed.. ;)

So #2 she now goes to her own bed at 8.30, im 34 weeks pregnant and cant fir in her bed so DH takes her and lays next to her until she goes to sleep, thankfully she stays there most nights until early hours of the morning (about 4 or 5 am). But it took a few nights of her waking up and us just going and laying with her until she went back to sleep to get to this point.

So, this is what we found works for us. I hope you find what works for you :)

Yea i stopped milk in bottles at around her 2nd bday, and jus give her a very small amount of water.

So i dont know what it is thats making her wake...?????

She was at one stage having night terrors - that finally stopped after i changed her brand of milk & diet.

So now its just she wakes. & i dont know why, the doctors are no help and apparently i can take her to a sleep place.

I thought 3 yr olds are ment to be close to dleeping right through !

& not walking like a newborn.

Driving me bonkers

Oh & letting her cry it out doesnt help, she just ends up crying so hysterically.

So im really hitting a brick wall & its seems tgere are no detours to my goal.

My eldesnt was not like this at all!! But at almost 7 now she is having sleep & behavioural problems but as a toddler & baby she was -no exageration- was an angel!!

My 3 old has been a nightmare since i fell pregnant. That can only mean shel be an easier child at 5/7 right..... RIGHT......????????????

[shinebrite]

Call us selfish! We LOVE co sleeping with our girls! We know they'll grow out of it so are loving every moment!!! I co slept with my mum and last time I looked I turned out ok! We do the whole girls in their own beds then the eldest 2 will eventually crawl in. I expect the youngest to stay in our bed until she weans then I'll change things up. If your happy, go with what works! They are only babies once! :)


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Mummie to
Lucy Alys (July '06)
Minnie Audrey (July '09)
Pippi Violet (oct '11)

[Gandalf]

:laughing:another blissfully selfish house here.
the 2year old actually sleeps quite well for the most part - so i've got her on her own mattress in my bed - but she crawls into my single around 4-6am usually.

I love it. i get snuggles - i get to look over and enjoy her while she's asleep (which some days - is the only thing that gets me through the next day :p). its just precious.

And for a child that's waking repeatedly through the night? yep i'd definitely keep them in my bed till they were sleeping through. nothing worse than having to get up and *do* things at night :p

[BabushkaMumma]

Can any food intolerances or other physical issues be rules out for your toddler? Mine woke more than a newborn until 2 when I removed dairy and wheat / gluten from diet.

[Sweet Tooth]

Good on you for still co sleeping.

If you are still both happy and getting enough rest than i dont see a problem with it.

It is something i never tried with my boys as i am scared of them sufficating and dont sleep at all with them in bed with us.

My DH used to try to put them in bed with us and he would sleep so soundly and i was up all night worried i would sufficate them.

Hope it all works out

[2darlingboys]

Cut out the bottles, she is probably waking up due to habit of them.

[Melzey]

Yea i stopped milk in bottles at around her 2nd bday, and jus give her a very small amount of water.

So i dont know what it is thats making her wake...?????

She was at one stage having night terrors - that finally stopped after i changed her brand of milk & diet.

So now its just she wakes. & i dont know why, the doctors are no help and apparently i can take her to a sleep place.

I thought 3 yr olds are ment to be close to dleeping right through !

& not walking like a newborn.

Driving me bonkers

Oh & letting her cry it out doesnt help, she just ends up crying so hysterically.

So im really hitting a brick wall & its seems tgere are no detours to my goal.

My eldesnt was not like this at all!! But at almost 7 now she is having sleep & behavioural problems but as a toddler & baby she was -no exageration- was an angel!!

My 3 old has been a nightmare since i fell pregnant. That can only mean shel be an easier child at 5/7 right..... RIGHT......????????????


I would try and cut the bottles out.

A GP should be able to at least refer you to someone who can help. i would look into the sleep Clinic, (ask, someone on here will know what its called, but i dont sorry.. i have heard of a few sucesses with them though). Maybe they will have the answer. I cant say my DD sleeps through every night, but she is sleeping way better now (that she is almost 3) than she was when she was just 2..

We are not a "let her cry it out" household, i just cannot and will not listen to my little one cry and be distressed when i can go and calm her down, i think that in itself would be frightening for them and that (in my opinion) will certainly not help them sleep.. On the other hand, i wouldnt be going in there - turning lights on and putting a movie on for her either. We leave the room dark and offer her a cuddle, thats all we give at night.

Im sure you will get there. it does seem like a long process at times, but for me, the letting them cry wasnt an option. i know people have sucess with it when their babies are young but i couldnt do it at 3.

All the best :D

[shinebrite]

Oh op have you read the 'no cry sleep solution' books? They have one for toddlers/older children I think? You may find some helpful reassurance in there?


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Mummie to
Lucy Alys (July '06)
Minnie Audrey (July '09)
Pippi Violet (oct '11)