In early labour - feeling down - any tips?

[mea]

Hi,

Below is a summary of my 'labour' over the last day and a half. I know every labour is different, but can anyone reassure me that this is normal, or give me some tips to get things moving? Thanks. I'm feeling really down, my experience so far hasn't been particularly nice. My EDD is Wednesday 5/10.

-3:30am Saturday - started spotting (pickish brown) so I finished packing my hospital bag

-9:30am Saturday - regular Dr (GP) checkup. He gave me an internal and said I was 1cm dilated, baby would come within next 24 hrs (yeah right), and to go to hospital around 4 hrs later to check everything was ok. He also said baby was a little stressed based on the heartbeat so I should get checked.

12pm Saturday - rang hospital to say I was coming in to be checked. The midwife asked all sorts of questions I couldn't really answer (I dont know what's going on, it's my first baby.) She was quite rude to me and when I said my GP said the baby was a little stressed she said 'Who's your Dr? Oh I know him, I can't believe he said that.' Not a good start. Anyway, she told me to come in to be checked.

12:30pm Saturday - arrived at hospital. They hooked me up to a fetal monitor showing mild contractions every approx 10mins and baby's heartbeat was fluctuating alot but the midwife said that was ok. I was then told to wait on the bed for an internal exam. After lying down for about 40mins my back was hurting so I stood up. I then heard the midwife and someone else talking about me in the corridor '(something I couldn't hear properly)', 'Oh that's the one with the GP', '(something else I couldn't hear)', 'she wants to go home', ...

2pm Saturday - About 30mins later the midwife came back and said I was supposed to be lying down so they could check whether my waters were leaking. So I lay down and waited another 15 mins. A registrar then came and gave me a (very painful!) internal exam with a speculum(sp), said there was no fluid. The midwife said to go home (fine with me) and come back when contractions were 5mins apart or waters broke.

12am Sunday - rang hospital and said I was having contractions every 5 mins, but only lasting around 30 secs and not strong. The midwife (a nicer one) said to wait until they got painful.

It's now 10am Sunday, I'm still only having mild contractions about every 5-10mins. I was able to sleep well during the night. I haven't really felt the baby move since last night which is a worry. My uterus is generally tight and I feel quite teary, this may be hormonal I guess.

Any advice? How much longer could this go on? When should I contact the hospital again? Can I do anything to check the baby is ok? Should I and do I have the right to ask for something to get things moving at some stage? (I'm using a public hospital, didn't get med insurance sorted out in time.)

I wasn't necessarily expecting a smooth short labour, but I didn't expect things to start but not progress. Off now to buy some raspberry leaf tea.

Thanks for listening, sorry to ramble on so long,
Mea

[draught]

Mea
First of all - you are allowed to be teary - lots of hormones, not to mention uncertainty and never having done this before!!

My suggestion would be to ring the hospital again - hopefully you will get a nice midwife this time and tell her what is happening. It may be that you have a long early labour - if you are able to sleep etc it might just be your body warming up for the big event. It is a shame your doctor told you 24 hours because he got your hopes up about something really important. The reality is that no one can ever tell when a baby is going to arrive unless it is a planned CS.

I know it is hard not to worry but don't worry about trying to bring on your labour - it sounds like your body is doing all the right things to get things moving in a gentle fashion. Probably the best thing to do a the moment is to go for a walk - will help you feel better and help your body get moving to do what it is meant to do. If you can avoid being induced at all do avoid it - voice of experience here - it is very intense. I had a long slow labour with DD1 (not the induced labour obviously!)- 36 hours of contractions that were a bit all over the place and she was fine and it was a better labour than the short induced one with DD2.

I have rambled on a bit but wanted to reassure you that you are allowed to be teary, that you shouldn't be scared to ring the hospital, and that your body sounds like it is doing all the things it is meant to. Ring the hospital - what is the worst that can happen? At best they will give you some more info and what to do and what to expect and at worst you will know nothing more than you do now.

Big hugs and just think - sometime in the pretty near future your little person will be here to meet you!! How exciting!!!!!

[JanetF]

Hi Mea,
hugs to you. This is perfectly normal prodromal labour by the sounds of it. Many first time mamas experience a very gentle early labour as their baby aligns themself, and their uterus slowly tones up for the hard work it will do later. If you feel scared or threatened your labour will slow down because adrenaline is counteractive to the beautiful hormones of labour, particularly oxytocin. Now is the time to just relax at home and rest as much as possible. Some mamas who have long prodromal labour have pretty short active labours and it's only that part that you'll want to be in the hospital for. Babies have highly variable heart rates so that's good and normal. A constant beat isn't really of concern but isn't a big deal and like I said, a variable heart rate shows a happy healthy bubba! Resting and sleeping and eating as much as possible is the best solution for you because trust me, in a very short time in comparison with the rest of your pregnancy you will be holding a wee one! So if I were you, I"d get on with my day at home, watch some dvds, practice your optimal foetal positioning to keep bubs in a lovely anterior possie and let friends and supporters wait on you. Maybe you could bake a cake to have as birth day cake when bubs arrives?! If you feel teary that's another lovely indication that your labour hormones are cranking up! A spontaneous labour is the best start to life a baby can get so you are doing a wonderful job caring for your baby and they're not even earthside yet!
http://www.sarahjbuckley.com/articles/labour-hormones.htm
http://www.sarahjbuckley.com/articles/ecstatic-birth.htm
Read these to while away some more time ;) They're beautiful articles about what lovely work your body is doing!

This list might give you some ideas about when it's best to head for the hospy.
I would say wait until you think it's starting to get really hard and you're not enjoying being at home anymore (if you're not comfortable with birthing at home). There will come a time when the rest breaks between contractions aren't really rest breaks anymore. This is the time to get in the car - before the contractions are coming one on top of another. Hopefully, the change of environment will slow things down for the drive and you'll arrive in time to get settled, find your rhythm and start second stage. Of course, your husband will have to gauge time of day to avoid getting stuck in traffic etc if that is likely to happen in your area. In summary, the time just before transition you'll:

feel like it's all getting too hard
feel like you want some birth attendance
feel like you're not getting a break between contractions

It's too late to go anywhere if:

you've already passed the 'this is too hard' stage and hit a lull in contractions
you're pushing involuntarily

Don't even think about getting in the car if you think you're likely to birth in the car. You'll be safer birthing at home. Generally, when bubs is coming *that* fast, there are no complicating factors to hinder his/her speedy exit. Just go with it, birth at home, keep you and baby warm, cut the cord after it finishes pulsing and the baby has no more need of it. Then make a leisurely exit to the hospy if you want to!

Sounds like you're doing beautifully! I hope you'll keep us updated and I look forward to reading your birth story :mrgreen

[jamb]

Hang in there petal, sending you loads of good vibes.

My "prodromal" labour was similar (didnt know that was what it was called), it basically started on tuesday night 9pm with a show. I laboured at home till 4am Friday before it got too much and i headed in to birth centre.

My contractions gradually became more frequent, longer in duration and more intense as the days passed. Being my first I also didnt know what exactly was happening or how much pain i was supposed to endure. But believe me there will come a time where you tihnk okay, i need help, its getting a bit much.

I went and saw Hitch and spent alot of time on my own- i didnt want people around me, felt more comfortable alone pacing round my room, but that was just me! Eventually I wanted a midwife and I cried big time when I rang her.

When I went in I was 6cm dilated and proud that I'd gotten that far on my own.

Keep ringing if you want to, its what they are there for (and yes I got cranky midwives as well, dont know why some have to be hard on us first time mums with no idea!)

Good luck, hang in there and soon little bubba will be in your arms- and its truly a miracle

[AM]

You've been given great advice, :) so I just wanted to add that it sounds as though both you and your body are doing a wonderful job.

Sending you lots of lovely birthing energy, and trust the process.

Big hugs, and I can't wait to hear your birth story. :D

As for feeling weepy, just let it all hang out, it's all good.

[rynosmum]

Hi Mea,

Nothing heard from you since this morning so hopefully you are now already the proud mummy of a beautiful new baby !!

JanetF, I read your posts with interest. My apologies but at first they used to offend me as you always seemed to have the 'textbook' answers (which weren't the way that I did things with my pregnancy and childbirth) and I felt like you may have been judging. The more I read now though, the more I realise that you obviously have a true passion for this area and probably work in the field as well. Would it be a rude question to ask about your background ? You seem to have so much access to really key information. :)

[JanetF]

Hi :) I'm absolutely not judging, I'm glad you can see that *hugs* My passion is to provide the information that most of us don't get but should when we're making those important decisions about birth and pregnancy. I just want women to have all the knowledge they can so they can make the most nurturing choices for them and their babies. I started and run the Australian home birth network, and prior to my son's traumatic birth (I transferred to hospital) I was a university lecturer. I had to give up work due to PTSD and depression so now I'm a WAHM doing birth stuff IRL and online. Almost everything I keep in my huge files is available online in professional journals where we can all access them. I did a lot of that to plan my own birth and the passion has continued. My best advice is "make google your friend" ;) Any time you need anything, just ask. I probably have a book or a few studies about it LOL.
Nice to meet you! :)

[JanetF]

Oops! Got terribly sidetracked! Mea! I came on to see how you are and send you a belly rub and lovely labour vibes. All in good time. *hugs*

[Michele Crocker]

Hi,

My sister went through all this when she had her first child last year. She went to hospital on three different occasions only to be told to go home again. Fourth time they kept her in because she could not stand it any longer and she told them that this time she was not going home without her child. Her defacto did not believe her the fourth time but eventually he took her back to the hospital.

I am lucky I have been through this before, so I know what signs to look out for but every labour is different and there is all different signals for when labour is about to start. I usually go to the hospital when the pain gets unbearable or my waters break, which is rare, the doctor usually has to break my waters.

Michele
Mother of Christopher, Luke, Melissa, Jayden and baby girl due on 8th November

[mea]

Hi everyone,

Thank you so much for your kind replies. It has helped alot to have your support. Unfortunately I'm STILL in the 'early' stages of labour, it's now Monday evening! How much longer can this go on?

We spent Sunday walking around, went shopping etc. with sporadic contractions going on (and other shoppers looking at me nervously). They got much stronger and more regular again around 6pm Sunday night. By 9pm they were 3 mins apart, about 1 minute in duration and very intense, so we went back to the hospital.

At hospital the contractions became less regular again and the (lovely) midwife found I was still only 1cm dilated, but the baby is posterior. She said that was probably why nothing was happening. After much deliberation I decided to stay the night in hospital, mainly because I had lost confidence in my ability to tell when I should go back to hospital if I went home again. The midwife was great and made me feel very comfortable and I got quite a good night sleep. This morning I was only 1.5-2cm dilated so decided to come home again.

So it has been another painful tiring day with contractions varying from every 10-45 mins. I've dozed a bit and tried to spend time on my feet, hands and knees, leaning over and rocking etc to try to shift baby's position.

In retrospect the Sunday night strong contractions may have been because I had a cup of raspberry leaf tea (only one). I'm not touching that again.

I'm starting to feel like a failure, my body has never let me down before and I'm generally a capable strong person. I feel disappointed that baby can't/won't turn around. How much longer can this go on? I'm also getting concerned about coping with 'real' labour. These contractions hurt alot (mainly in my back), I can't imagine coping when they get much worse.

I also have no idea how to decide when to go back to hospital. Obviously the 5mins apart rule doesn't apply to me. I feel embarassed to possibly go back for a third false alarm! I really hope my waters break.

Thanks for listening again.
Mea

[JanetF]

Hi Mea,
what a champion birther you are already! Do be aware that you may have a short active labour, something which is pretty common with a long prodromal labour. You may also never fit the silly textbook idea of cx increasing until 5 mins, 4 mins, yada yada yada. Every twinge and pull is doing important work in your body and by just relaxing and resting you're doing the best possible job! With a posterior baby it would be one reason your labour is working so slowly and gently. Hands and knees, making sure you rest on the left, don't lean back or slouch into an armchair, talking to bubs and gently massaging them towards the left will help too. Read this site and see what you think. http://www.spinningbabies.com/ If bubs is a little offcentre their head doesn't apply as evenly to your cervix and that can sometimes mean a longer labour while bubs moves about. Fortunately there are lots of things you can do to help them move! Be prepared for stuff to take off once you have an anterior baby again. Keep your fluids up, eat warming, nourishing foods, sleep as much as possible and get ready to meet bubs.
*hugs*

[draught]

Hi Mea
I am glad you let us know how you are going - I have been thinking about you. Please don't feel that your body is letting you down - it is doing exactly what it is meant to do!
My first labour was also with a posterior baby and my contractions were up and down and more painful in my back than anywhere. My Ob had given me all the info on positioning etc and I spent hours on my hands and knees rocking etc to no avail. What I found helped during labour was my Dh or mum massaging the small of my back - really giving good pressure. We had a heat pack that they used and a massage octopus - one of those plastic ones - that gave their hands a rest and helped with the pressure I wanted. I also found that moving around a lot during the contraction helped. I spent a few hours in a warm bath with the shower running on my lower back while I was on my hands and knees - that was great until the water got cold!! So I hope that some of those things help with the pain management.

As for going back to the hospital - don't feel worried about calling them again - they wouldn't have let you stay in last night if they didn't think you had good reason so if you think you need to go in again, do it - better than delivering at home because you were too embaressed to do in!!

I will send some prayers your way for your little bundle to arrive safely before too much more time goes past!!

[BigW]

Hey Mea,
Just had to write a quick note and say well done so far, and that everything is going to be fine. Don't fret! :D
I had a long first stage labour with ds, it took 21 hours till I reached second stage, but that was only 30 minutes total.
Trust in your body, this is the most natural thing in the world - think of how many other mums are going through it right now! Focus on a few days time when it'll be all over and you'll have your gorgeous little baby in your arms.
Thinking of you.

[rynosmum]

Hi Mea !

Keep doing what you are doing - we're all thinking of you ! Please don't think that your body is failing you in anyway. Every labour is different and your body is simply adjusting to the major role ahead. Think of how amazing your body must be to have nurtured and developed your little bubba over the past 9/10 months !

My baby was posterior as well - not a lot of room left for them to turn around but they still can. :D This is just preparation for the big event. Stay calm and do what you feel - if you feel more comfortable being in hospital, then go back there and wait - you can't be too far away now !

Best of luck for the big event !!

[clairbear]

Dear mea, hope things have moved along a bit for you now. i have a suggestion but I guess it is prob too late...cos you'd only be able to do this tomorrow morning if by very slim chance you're still in the same boat. My baby was turned the wrong way too, and with suggestion from my midwife I had acupuncture in my little toe (at a clinic I had been to before for shoulder pain) , lo and behold the baby turned and the next morning my waters broke...one week early! Then began a similar experience to yours, a long pre labour stage with contractions building up then slowing down for two days til I was very teary and exhausted. I ended up getting induced, which i wouldn't do again. Next time round, (March) if a similar thing happens I will go for more acupuncture, as apparently this can speed things up as well as ease the pain. Sorry if this is just a useless ramble Mea! Good luck and wishing you and your little treasure a safe and happy birth :)

[mea]

Hi again,

Thanks for all your messages. The active phase of my labour (4cm dilated) finally began around 11am on Tues 3/10. My contractions kept coming and going so my waters were broken and I was given oxytocin(sp?) about 8hrs later as I was getting exhausted and a bit distressed.

The contractions became unbearable so I had an epidural, but managed to deliver vaginally anyway. Unfortunately I had to have an episiotomy as baby couldn't crown and he became distressed. I also had a 3rd degree deep vaginal laceration as he was posterior, so I was whisked away to theatre in a daze for about 3 hrs to be all stitched up. Fortunately the epidural meant I didn't have to have a general anaesthetic.

Baby Christian finally arrived at 5:30am on Wed 4/10!

The labour was much worse than I had ever imagined, I felt like I had been in a car wreck. But I'm getting over it now, and baby is happy and healthy.

Phew!

Best wishes,
Mea

[jaydensmum]

CONGRATULATIONS of your new arrival!!!! Im very happy everything went well. I couldnt help but giggle when i read what you said about the labour being worse than you expected. :D Its all over now and you finally have your little man. Would you go through it again? :p Im sorry you got a tear and needed stitches, i can only imagine that they wouldnt be too nice (i was lucky and did need them). Again congratulations and enjoy your little bundle of joy!

jaydensmum

[Supermum]

Well I was just about to send you a *hugs and hang in there* note Mea as I had a very similar labour ... nothing little contractions for a week and them WHACK - my whole body got hit with a mallet! Fast and hideously furious.

And here you are, a mummy! My heartfelt congratulations to you and welcome baby Christian. I'm pleased to hear you are both well ... sorry to hear your bits were torn asunder in the process. Bodies heal while love grows.

I also had a giggle (sorry), as I found labour far more painful than I ever thought I could handle ... but also very empowering.

Again, congratulations!

[JanetF]

Hugs to you and healing vibes. And welcome earthside to your wee one! Sounds like you were a birthing warrior and learnt a great deal. You can take arnica internally for bruising, and some rescue remedy or emergency essence to deal with shock. Go gently and I hope you have lots of time just cuddling your wee one in bed and learning to breastfeed together.
PM if you need anything I can help with!
*hugs*
Welcome to the mama club!

[draught]

Hey Mea
Congratulations on Christian's arrival! Thanks for letting us know how you went.
Sorry it was all a bit much, and I hope you heal quickly.
Enjoy your precious bundle - they grow so quickly and are so amazing every single day your head will spin!

[Michele Crocker]

Hi Mea,

Congratulations on the birth of your son Christian. I am sorry you had to go through what you have done. All those stitches, you must of been in agony for a while, I hope you are mending well.

I know what posterior births are like. Three out of four of my births my babies have turned posterior during labour and the second stage of labour was really hard. With Jayden I was getting twinges for weeks, and because he was posterior I stop dilating at 5cm and I had to be induced to get things started again. My obs. had to manually turn him around to deliver him. With Melissa, I had to have her vacumn because she became stuck.

I am due to have another baby in three weeks time and I am worried this will be another posterior birth.

Michele
Mother of Christopher, Luke, Melissa, Jayden and baby girl due on the 8th November

[Lucybelle]

What a gripping read!!

CONGRATULATIONS MEA, and well done!!!

JanetF, I read your posts with glee, especially the first one about the transitional stage. I have always felt the need to warn (sorry, can't think of a better word) friends about this stage as it can be so hard and the only time I have ever felt like giving up during labour, only to find baby born minutes later.

You express this time so beautifully, I couldn't put that information into words so clear, to the point and reassuring as yourself. I'm glad you work within this field JanetF we need women like yourselves in this business.

If you were by my side during my birth I would kick goals all the way to the end. I am going to print off your posts to save to read in April, I wish I had this to refer to in June when my son was born, they were exactly the words I needed to hear. My births are always over within 5 hours and are very hard and fast. I find it hard to focus, even though I am confident and know what I want. The only thing I really wish for is not to feel that horrible, lonely feeling I did with both my babes.

Sorry to gush, but this all just came tumbling out!

Congratulations again Mea, we are all proud of you!