Needing Advice.....Please Help.

[mummyOf_3]

Hi There,

My name is Leah I am a 23yr mum of 3, 3mnth old twin girls and a 22mnth old boy.
Since having my twins i have been suffering from PND and major anxiety.
When i was 21 i found out that i was 2mnths pregnant, at that time my fiance (Andy-26) and i were not ready for children but we decided to make our little boy a celebration instead of crying about it.
After the arrival of my son Jayden we had huge arguements and he even started to txt his ex- girlfriend who we were friends with at the time, it broke my heart as i seen all the msgs that he was sending her.
Since then i found out that when he was younger he had a bad experience with a girl, he was put of woman for quite a while after whatever it was that happened to him......
He keeps saying to me that he feels as though he has missed out on all the playing the field thing with woman and feels as though he will never get the chance to do it again.
This makes me feel extremely guilty for having our children and it makes me feel very unattractive.
He never got to do the whole fling thing with woman and dating, and says he really regrets it.
Although he says he will never cheat on me whenever we go out he eyes off teenage girls....it bothers me so bad that i feel like crying when i see him do it....he sometimes even makes comments about them.:shame:
At one stage all he was doing was looking at porn on the internet and downloading teenage porn movies.....at first i was ok with it, then it got out of hand and he would sit there for hours at a time downloading this stuff so he could make a DVD for us to watch....i told him that i wasn't interested in teenage porn (i don't mind a bit kinky stuff) but thats just not what i like and it turned into another fight again....am i wrong for not liking it?
He keeps saying that he thinks i actually like to fight with him and that i look for faults in him :ecomcity:
Should i just let him do what he wants? :confused:
He says i am controlling him and that he feels as though he is a robot and i am trying to mould him into what i want him to be.
Has anyone else been in the same situation as me or similar?
Any advice would be appreciated :fingerscrossed:

Leah

[*~alegna~*]

Hi Leah!

1stly - Congratulations on making 3 beautiful little possums!....They must be treasures.

2ndly - Hun, you are NOT wrong in not liking that sort of thing. Y is he even looking at Teenage Girls???? Thats a bit off!...You are far from wrong in asking him NOT to do it.

At 26 I am sure that he would have played the field enough. He should be proud that he has helped creat these 3 little beings & not be so GD worried about that rubbish. JMO but if he is oogling other women IN FRONT OF YOU, you should really be cross with him...Not the other way around.

I won't carry on...I sympathise with you & send you heaps of these :hugs: :hugs:

If you ever want a chat feel free to MSN me (profile)

Ang xxxx

[Sholmes]

That's awful Leah. I can't say I've been in any situations similar, but my heart goes out to you. It sounds like you need some people to talk to to help you through this. Your man is being really unreasonable and very, very immature. Having children is a wonderful achievement and he should value that, not disrespect it by regretting not playing the field. You are obviously trying to make the best of an unpleasant situation and he has no right to make you feel guilty. Please don't even think for a second that he is right and that you should feel at all bad.

You sound like a beautiful person with a beautiful heart and he should appreciate you and not make you feel unattractive. You have given him a priceless gift in bearing his childrean and you deserve to be treated like a queen!

If his looking at porn makes you uncomfortable, he should respect that and not do it. As for commenting on young girls, that is appalling behaviour and he should keep his thoughts in that area to himself rather than hurting you.

I think you need to sit down with him and talk about the facts. Tell him you feel he doesn't respect you or the kids with his comments and behaviour. Tell him that he's hurt you with the things he's said.

I honestly hope that you can resolve this. You haven't done a thing wrong, asking for respect is not something to be guilty about. :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

Feel free to PM me for support and a sympathetic ear.

[Kizmet]

That is an awful situation to be in! :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: I am 21 as well if you want to chat feel free to pm me or add me wednesday_skates@hotmail.com

You have every right to be angry