Bringing Baby Home

[BJelly]

Hi,

I'm a first time Mum to be, and it's great to read birth stories, but now I'm wondering about what to expect when the baby and me come home.

How did you cope and what helped you the most?

My husband is self employed, so he'll be going straight back to work and I'll be alone with bub. We have some close friends, but they work full time so I won't have anyone to help me out during the week. And my Mum is busy looking after my Dad and her Mum at the moment, so I don't think she'll be able to spend much time helping out either.

I guess I'm getting a bit nervous about adapting to all the changes, even if everything goes perfectly! So it would be great to hear what happened when you got home with a new baby and how you all coped.

[noniandlilysmum]

Hi BJelly :) , So your getting a little nervous ha!!! Well it's completely normal to have these fears when you are a first time mum... It can be scary, challenging, exciting, depressing and so many more emotions... But rest assured you will adapt and if you are more excited than anything else, your going to be fine ;) ... Your going to be soo busy, that these fears and emotions you have are probably not even going to be a big issue as they might seem... If your worried about support and help, It is a good idea to join a playgroup/mothersgroup etc... They are heaps of fun, and you can talk about just about anything with other mothers and 99% of the time you will get a direct answer, so the help is right at your finger tips... Also its great because your getting out of the house, and if you don't have a lot of friends or family with small children who you can go visit, playgroups are ideal... I found just getting out of the house and going to bookshops, libraries, having an ice-cream at Maccas or just getting on a bus to be a great release for me and bub... And plus, what a great start to there life, surrounding yourself in books... My kids love to read, but, the con now is that I am roped into reading to them very often... Well I hope this helps, let me know if there is anything else your concerned about and maybe we could be of some help :) Where abouts are you???

Noni and Lilys Mum

[BJelly]

Hi noniandlilysmum,

I'm at Bracken Ridge, so I know there are some Mums who post here living near-by.

I am excited about the new baby - the due date is mid-February. I've just started my third trimester, and the reality of bringing a baby home is starting to hit me. Especially since I don't think I'll have anyone to hold my hand for the first few weeks. I'm not freaking out (yet) :) , but I'm keen to get a realistic idea of what to expect, and get some plans in place to help me cope.

I guess I'm wondering how do people survive the first month or so? It sort of sounds daunting thinking about recovering from the delivery especially if you have a CSection or tear, or just stuffed after having a long labour, and your body is going back to it's non-pregnant state.

I'm wondering what people did about the day 3 blues? Is it really a nightmare trying to do basic housework and look after a new baby? Did the hospital staff teach you what you needed to know about bathing baby, nappy changing etc? How do you find a playgroup?

And if there's anything else you wish you'd known before the baby arrived, feel free to pass it on!

[noniandlilysmum]

Hi there Bjelly, first of all if you have a c-section, you will have to stay in hospital for at least one week, just in case of infection or stitches coming undone etc... You were asking about whether or not the hospital staff show you bathing, changing etc ??? Have you enrolled in ante-natal classes, they are fantastic, they help you with feeding (breast or bottle, and whats best for you), changing, bathing, drug options during labour ( this is especially important as you need to know your options available to you, sometimes when we are in such a vulnerable state of mind we tend to just do what we are told to by the midwife/drs, and being our first child we aren't sure what we want ), I think childbirth is scary, but knowing and having options and having knowledge itself will help childbirth be less scary and more a truly amazing experience... There is so much more in ante-natal classes to mention, a wealth of knowledge, So I would definately reccomend them...

Playgroups are everywhere, In fact Elenis Mum told me about books, babies and beyond, It is for 0 - 5 yr olds, It is on once a month, held at Dymocks in the City, Corner of Edward and Queen Sts, from 9.30 -11.30/12.00... Lily and I went last month and it was wonderful. They provide morning tea, A local Authour is there to read to the children and we can read books with the little ones at the end of the session... It is on again this Wednesday, and am taking Lily, so if you want to meet up you are more than welcome... If not they don't start again till next year, I think February... Otherwise, if you look under the queensland section of the qld bubhub forum, you will find posts from other mums who have regualar get togethers and welcome all, don't feel shy, They are a great support... Anyway I think I have rambled on, and am in desperate need of some sleep, so take care and will talk to you soon :) ... Haana

Noni and Lilys Mum

[BJelly]

Hi Haana,

I've got some antenatal classes starting in December, so I'm looking forward to those. Unfortunately the hospital I'm going to couldn't fit me into their classes, so I'm going to some private ones.

I'm still working at the moment, so it's hard to me to get out and about much before the baby comes. But it would be great to maybe catch up once the baby has arrived. The books, babies and beyond thing sounds great - I love books and reading too, and hope to pass that on to the baby.

I guess I'll relax a bit, and wait to find out what they teach us at the antenatal classes. I've heard they are very good.

Thanks again :)

[Elfin]

Hi Bjelly

I found the first 6 weeks the hardest but after that things got a lot of easier, once we got the hang of feeding, sleeping etc. For me, I found reading books like Baby Love really helpful and reassuring. I also found the child health clinics great as wel.l I had some good advice from the nurses there. When I was having feeding problems, I found day stay fantastic. So it is good to know there is help there if you need it. There is also this forum, no question is too silly and there are a lot of great parents here. You do get a lot of dodgy advice from well meaning people (like at the supermarket :rolleyes: ), I tended to ignore most of it.

My advice would be is to limit visits from friends/family in the first couple of weeks or until you feel up to it. People do understand that you are tired and that you need to take naps in the day sometimes. It is good if they ring first and don't be afraid to say no.

If people want to help, I found making a meal so invaluable and I greatly appreciated this as I was too tired to cook.

I am sure you will do great.

Best wishes
Easterlily :)

[BJelly]

Thanks Easterlily,

I'll see if I can get a copy of that book.

Cheers, BJelly :)

[Trina]

Hi BJelly

One of the best things my husband and I did was hire a cleaner for a couple of hours each fortnight. She comes in and does the floors, bathroom, kitchen and if time dusting. Absolutely invaluable. The best $30 we spent.

Trina

PS Adam is 6 months old and we still have the cleaner!

[BJelly]

Thanks Trina,

I think that would definitely be something to we'd consider :cool:

[xkwzit]

Hi BJelly
People have probably told you before, but SLEEP (or relax somehow) when the baby sleeps! I know that you often feel like you should be doing *stuff*, but the most important thing is to get over that first few weeks. You'l need time to recover from the birth (not that you'll be an invalid, but just take it easy - you've produced a baby for goodness sake!). You'll want to look after yourself so that you don't come down with a cold or flu if you can possibly help it. It sometimes seems like forever when you're living through it, but really babies are only tiny for a very short period of time and soon the frantic cycle of nappies, feeds, sleeps (sometimes!) comes to an end and life starts to return to normal.

Handy hints I've found useful (and I'm sure you've read)
A bath can be one of your little luxuries and is a great treat, even if it only lasts for 20 minutes while baby has a nap.
When you cook dinner, cook LOADS. Curries, pasta sauces and other dishes are even better once reheated and you get 2 or 3 times the dinners for the same amount of effort.
I agree re playgroups etc, you'll find it great. There's also pram walking groups that are free and run by qualified trainers, they are EXCELLENT, check out the calendar for one near you. I've always found that even if a baby is a bit fractious, it worth getting out (I think that they enjoy an outing too and the fracticiousness magically disappears).
I also get someone in every fortnight to clean the house. While I was at home with one baby, I didn't find it too hard to keep up (my hubby does housework too), but once I went back to part time work, we decided that we didn't want to spend our weekends cleaning, we wanted to have quality time (and I haven't had to clean a bathroom in YEARS!!).

Cheers

[BJelly]

Hi Samantha,

Thanks for the cooking tip. I've heard suggestions about cooking a month's worth of meals in advance - we don't have a big enough freezer to do that, but we have a friend with a chest freezer, and I'm thinking of spending some of the time before the birth doing some casseroles and storing them in their freezer :D.

Thanks for the other tips too! It all helps.

[powalove]

My husband and I dont have family in Victoria and are having our first baby in April.
We talked a lot and didnt make the decision lightly but its really hitting me now and i want (like all im sure) to make coming home with the new one as stress free as possible.
We have books but so much reading is making my head spin.
Does anyone have any advice?