Semen analysis results not good....I don't think

[readysetgo]

Hi all,

New to the forums.

After a little convincing for me (bit scary - kids!), my wife and I (yes, I'm the guy here) have decided to have a child. I have told her its one only and its a girl, and if its not a girl, its going straight back to where it came from!!! :) We are doing the Dr Shettles way.

However, that is not the main issue. Looks like whether its a boy or girl is the least of our problems. It was decided to get her general tests, all came back perfectly normal, then I asked my doctor if there is anything I should do or get tested. He suggested because of our age (me 36, her 34) that I should get full bloods and a semen analysis. That is where the problem lies. My bloods including PSA all came back perfect. My semen analysis however:

Macroscopic appearance: Normal
Liquefaction: Normal
Volume: 2ml
"Occasional motile and non-motile spermatozoa seen"

There was also no mention of count. Doc rang the lab who said it was less than a million. He says there is little chance given this result of us getting pregnant.

Obviously my GP has now referred me to a fertility expert, but I'm wondering if I could get some advice from some of you who have gone through this and if the issues have been 'solved'. My Googling does not come up with any great number of men having these results and then going on to father a bunch of children, put it that way.

As for my general health, I am overweight (although it seems being overweight on its own is not a major factor as long as my health is ok). I am a non-smoker (quit about 7mths ago), and only a very occasional drinker. I do drink coffee, about 3 cups a day including my morning cup. Once again, research shows mixed results with this, but I wouldn't have thought a bit of fat and a few cups of coffee would give me such bad results!

Tell it to me straight. Are my results likely permanent? Is IVF/adoption likely to be the outcome?

One other thing that may or may not be relevant. Slightly embarrassing, but then again, you all know now about my taddies,:D and it would be interesting to find if other guys with similar problems have this issue, but I have extremely sensitive testicles (painfully sensitive, off limits in the bedroom, tightish pants can be awkward etc, although I don't wear them often, and even I can't handle them very well to check for lumps etc. They have always been this way, its not a new thing).

So now you all know more about me than I would really like to tell! :laughing:

Hope to hear from you soon!

[RubySunrise]

Hi there, sorry to hear it hasn't yet worked out the way you planned.
All may not be lost though!
We haven't gone thru the same thing, but I heard others say they had next to no sperm count and then they went on Menevit tablets for 4 months or so and the count did a total 180!

for what it's worth, my husband put his body thru A LOT when he was young, so I was a bit paranoid before we started trying.
I put him on Menevit for 4 months before we started and I got pregnant on the first go!

So maybe give it a go. You just get it from any chemist. Hope that helps and good luck!

[alohashellIVF]

Hi there, we are going through the same thing - except that my husband has non-obstructive Azoospermia - which means he has zero sperm in his ejaculate!! We have no answers as to what has caused this as his chromosones are all normal - his hormones are out that's because his brain is telling his testicles to make sperm but his testicles are failing. The only thing it could maybe be was he might of had mumps when he was younger (inlaws can't remember if it was DH or his brother ... Very helpful). We both have issues so for years we have been at it ttc thinking only I had issues - so it was a super hard smack in the face when we found about about DH. My husband has had zero sperm on 2 different SEmen analysis's and zero sperm found on a testicular biopsy !! We are now under a specialist for DH to have micro TESE surgery (they open the testes in surgery and look for sperm) and combine that with IVF/ICSI !! My husband can't have the surgery until he loses weight - the specialist was adamant about this - weight affects sperm production !! My husband is also following a regime I found on this site in the male infertility section - a lady posted a list of herbs and supplements that her husbands specialist gave them to follow - so while we are in limbo waiting for treatment we have nothing to lose so he is taking menavit, a multivitamin, fish oil tablets, aloe Vera juice & goji berries - all super herbs !! Either way hubby is feeling a he'll of a lot better !! In really hope you don't end up in the same situation as us but it is nice to know that there are things they can do for you now that years ago they couldn't do !! In the end tho - you can only try and give it your best and do what you need to do to make your family. Best wishes :)

[readysetgo]

Thanks you two.

I forgot to mention I have been taking Blackmores Mens Multi-vitamin too, but I shall try the Menevit in the meantime and see what the expert says.

[readysetgo]

Hi again.
Thanks for your replies.
Final results are that I have a low count of around 600,000. The only good thing is that I have 79% motility. All blood tests show no problems with chromosomes or hormones or anything else so the doc says I am one of those guys who's low sperm count is unexplainable.
The next step is ICSI however these tests and results came from doing them routinely prior to attempting to conceive so we haven't even tried naturally yet. I'm guessing with 600,000 its not going to be easy, but we are going to at least try a few cycles and see. At least it will be fun! :)
Thank you again.

[dancermum]

My DH's results weren't thrilling (they were ok, but didn't fill me with confidence) so to give us the best chance possible I got the book "Taking Charge of Your Fertility" and used the methods in that. We fell second cycle. Good luck and yes have fun trying :)

[felicita]

A lot of us girls start going to extremes to try to influence things for the better, eg. NO caffeine, weird herbs and supplements, etc. Basically if it's something you might regret then don't do it, and if it might help then give it a go.

I didn't come across this thread when you started it. One thing that caught my attention is you said your bloods were fine, but sperm # was low. Normally, if testicular sperm production was low I, not being a medical professional, would have expected testosterone to be low and FSH to be high. Have you been checked out for a (partial) blockage that's preventing sperm from getting out?

FSH comes from the brain (pituitary gland) and tells your testes to make sperm (in women it tells follicles in the ovaries to grow eggs). Then when sperm are produced the testes make testosterone which tells the brain to stop making more FSH. (The parallel in women: egg production makes oestrogen which tells the brain to stop at making more FSH.) So if you fail to make sperm, you don't make enough testosterone so FSH levels keep rising. But if you do make enough sperm in the testes then FSH will stop at a more respectable level.

n.b. If testosterone is low, DON'T take testosterone supplements unless your FS (not GP) says to. Increasing testosterone will tell your body you've got enough sperm so it will stop making more, i.e. The feedback will tell FSH to drop and so it will not be high enough to stimulate sperm production.

Since you do have hundreds of thousands of motile sperm you might be able to bank a few samples to get increased numbers and then try IUI (Intra-uterine-insemination, where they chuck away the bad sperm and put the good quality sperm directly into the uterus). We didn't have the option of IUI, so I have no idea how many motile sperm you need for it. But it's less invasive than IVF, and doesn't involve surgery for your wife. It may still involve hormone injections for her, depending on whether the FC will just monitor her (blood tests and internal ultrasounds) to catch ovulation time, or if they'll take hormonal control of her cycle.

If you do end up at ICSI, consider using HA selection to get the best guys. Hyaluronic Acid attracts sperm, while dud fellas are more likely to ignore it. It is naturally on the outside of the egg. Methods are called HA-ICSI or PICSI which both use a HA covered petri dish. It's also possible to use immature eggs which would otherwise be wasted for HA selection of sperm. Digital High Magnification can also help select the best guys. You'll only need a dozen or so good sperm for ICSI, one for each mature egg collected (I average 7-8 eggs per IVF cycle). HA selection or digital hi-mag usually comes after you've received a bad DNA fragmentation result from the sperm analysis, but so long as you're aware of the available methods then you can make your own decision whether or not to use it regardless.

Also if you discover bad DNA fragmentation, you might get better guys by doing TESA or biopsy. It will be a little bit sore for you. They collect sperm directly from the testes with a needle and local anaesthetic. If only part of the testes are making sperm the biopsy might accidentally miss the bits where the sperm are. TESA is the step before microdissection (mentioned by alohashellIVF). In microdissection they look inside the testes and go hunting specifically for the fat seminiferous tubules containing the sperm, ignoring tubules that aren't productive (i.e. skinny). For any type of surgical sperm collection you have to do ICSI because the sperm collected aren't mature enough to get through the egg on their own.

Good luck. I hope you get a natural miracle.

[readysetgo]

Hi

We have that many books and things I'm sure we can give it a good go with all the info we have. :) There are a few other things I asked him about, mainly caffeine intake and my weight (which I've put on since quitting smoking), and he basically said those things can assist a certain percentage normally but given how low my count was and how normal all the tests were, nothing I could possibly change would make much difference if any. I guess a Professor at IVF Australia should know.

Felicita, yes, testosterone etc were checked. I pretty much had 4 vials of blood taken for all the tests they were doing, then they called me and asked me to go in to give another vial as they didn't have enough! I also had a ball scan, or officially a 'testicular ultrasound' which was all normal. He was quite interested in this because I was born with only one kidney and with all these parts developing at the same time he thought there might have been something going on, but no, I have all my inner bits all intact.

It would be quite a fluke if it happened so quick, but it would be amazing if this first cycle worked, just waiting for her period or not. :)

[Rocky27]

Hi Readysetgo,

We had slightly similar situation. DH had a SA & was told had low no's & issues with motility (they just weren't moving). Anyway, we were told that we'd have no chance of conceiving naturally.

I had googled on here & saw people in similar situations had suggested the following which worked perfectly for us -

Vitamin C (1000mg one)
Zinc
Normal multivitamin

Three months later we requested another SA & the doctor couldn't believe it, results had improved drastically!! DH & I didn't think it would actually worth but thought worth the try & glad we did as results came back at normal levels :D

Anyway, thought I'd let you know in case you were interested in taking any of them.

We got our BFP Dec 2011 & the doctor was amazed that it happened naturally and trust me, after trying so long you don't care if its a boy or a girl as long as everyone is healthy :goodvibes:

[readysetgo]

Thanks Rocky27.

I have been on those vitamins pretty much from the initial test to now with no difference unfortunately. Although all we knew from the initial test was 'less than a million' now we have a figure of 600,000 I suspect it has not improved at all since the initial test.

We'll go at it like rabbits and see what happens. But I'm a little tired. :D

[Cluky79]

I'm sorry I have no advice as such because DH is fine in that department however I have PCOS so I went to a Chinese medicine man to help with my fertility. He gave me herbs mixed for me (each person has a different balance depending upon their issues etc) and acupuncture. We ended up conceiving on my fourth month with the treatment however that lead to a miscarry but then I got pg again the following month and our DS is now 12 mths old. Have you thought of trying alternative medicine in conjunction with what ever treatment the FS recommends. In regards to weight, I was over weight and lots 7kgs before I fell pregnant.
I wish you both all the luck in the world.

[Rachell]

I didn't come across this thread when you started it. One thing that caught my attention is you said your bloods were fine, but sperm # was low. Normally, if testicular sperm production was low I, not being a medical professional, would have expected testosterone to be low and FSH to be high. Have you been checked out for a (partial) blockage that's preventing sperm from getting out?


::Yes:: My Husband has something called Varicocele. It can get quite painful in his testiciles. especially if foreplay goes to long or he has been aroused to long.
It is varicose veins in his sperm cord.
Its Extremely easy to diagnose Varicocele (they just do an ultrasound) then if it's blocking sperm ect they can remove the veins.
Some times men can just have a low sperm count from it or no sperm count.

Good luck!!

[March2011]

Hi fist post very new to this :-)


alohashellIVF - Thanks for your post felt like my husband and I where the only ones having to deal with zero sperm count. We only found out five days ago. We are totally devastated and just feel so lost. We have not told anyone yet thinking of keeping it to ourselves incase we use donor sperm don't need everyone to know.

How did your partner deal with the news ? I am 27 and my husband is 34 but we still feel like time is running out :-( .

We are going to see about IVF next week and if there is anything else they can do to try and find sperm. My husband was sick as a child and we think that's why he has a zero sperm count.

Just the start I know but feel very lost right now :-(

Thanks to everyone else for the useful information :-) best of luck to you all :-)

[felicita]

March2011 - from your brief description it sounds likely that your DH probably has Sertoli-only Syndrome, which means he no longer has the cells you need to make sperm. (My DH has this, possibly because a medical condition means he can't keep his testes cool enough for those cells to survive.)

But rule out things from easy to hard.
1. Get testosterone and FSH bloodwork. High FSH and low testosterone suggests body is not making much or any sperm. As I wrote in an earlier post, don't take testosterone supplements on GP advice. Only do it if your fertility specialist or andrologist says to.
2. Look for blockages stopping sperm getting out.
3. Needle biopsy of the testes to see if hit-or-miss approach catches sperm.
4. Microdissection of testes to hunt for sperm.

For #3 and #4 you would need to do IVF with ICSI.

As far as I know, if #4 fails, then it's on to donor sperm. I'm 15 wks pregnant with twins conceived using donor sperm. We're both thrilled.

[March2011]

Felicita- First of all congratulations sooo exciting twins. I would love to have twins.

Thanks so much for all the info we have a consultation with Monash IVF we where told they will do the biopsy there to see if they can find any sperm. He did have sperm tests in the past that came back very low 0.07 but first time he every got a zero test result. Dr did not give use much hope but she is not a specialist in that area.

As far as sperm donor goes I
am feel weird. I am mad I guess feel like I don't want a baby if we can't have one together. I know it's silly and will pass it's only early days. I feel for my DH cause he loves kids and wants one so bad. He is not that happy about using a sperm donor. Is it easy to find one that looks like your DH or is it slim pickings ?

I also have PCOS did you have any health problems or just your DH ?

Thanks :-)

[MrsMackSee]

Hi girls - my DH and I have male factor infertility also. DH has a count of only half a million per ml, so our only option would be sperm donation. I am 36 and he is 42, so we feel we are running out of time to have a child together.

Are there any success stories with donations here? We aren't even sure where to start looking - we would have a home donor and AI. Any suggestions would be appreciated!

[felicita]

March2011 - As far as we knew I had no fertility issues. We were only doing IVF for MFI. After 2 failed transfers I was put through a heap of tests and have since been on an NK cell protocol for IVF. We also accumulated some circumstantial evidence during our last two cycles that my eggs need assisted hatching. We only got that evidence by doing the assisted hatching.

Waiting lists for anonymous donor sperm at IVFA (and presumably QFG and MIVF) have shortened recently as they have gained access to some US donors. I think it's now just a month or two before you can start looking at donor profiles, but I don't really know. Genea/SIVF don't do anonymous donor at all. I don't know about any other clinics.

I'll now go and find a post I made on another forum when someone asked about our journey towards using anonymous donor. I was going to PM you, but I think you need to make 10 posts before you have access to PMs, so you can't receive it. So I'll copy and paste into this thread instead.

From our first IVF appointment to our BFP was 3 years. A fair bit of that time was waiting for sperm. One benefit of doing donor sperm through IVF is the health checks of the donor and quarantine of the sperm just in case the donor caught something right before donating. They have to pass a health check before donating and again 6 months after the samples were frozen to know that they're safe.

[felicita]

When we first found out DH had no sperm we were not ready for anonymous donor. We entered the waiting list anyway, figuring we would probably be OK with it by the time we got to the top of the list (at the time the wait was predicted to be one year).

DH wanted to try to find a related donor first. He felt an affinity for one of his cousins, so we asked him if he would consider being a donor. We did not push him for an answer, because not only is it hard to ask someone, it's also hard to give an answer. Eventually (about 4-5 months) the cousin decided he could not emotionally detach himself from his sperm so he could not donate.

By then we had grown comfortable with the idea of asking DH's father to donate. The inlaws had considered it earlier without us asking but believed that a vasectomy meant they couldn't. Upon us telling them that wasn't a massive problem they had to reconsider it in the new light of it being possible. It didn't take them long to decide yes, even though FIL would have to go through surgical sperm extraction.

While FIL's samples were in 6 month quarantine we got to the top of the anonymous list. We put our anonymous application on hold and remained quietly at the top of the list while we tried the related sperm first. Unfortunately the related sperm was poor quality and those cycles were unsuccessful. We decided after the first hi-mag cycle that we wouldn't be asking FIL to donate again, but we still would give the remaining sperm every possible chance to work. We didn't want to use sperm from any of DH's other relations - either DH didn't feel so close to them, or they carried genes that had been bred out of DH that he didn't want to reintroduce. So immediately upon getting the last related BFN we reactivated our anonymous donor application.

We went into viewing the profiles (and our related selections too) with the following attitude. DH was seeking someone to donate sperm to him. Then it would be DH's sperm (just like with the donation of any other tissue). So it was really up to DH to choose a profile that suited or matched with him. I had a right of veto. Naturally we supported each other too.

We were given 4 pdf profiles to start with. All were for ICSI only. We figure that was due to low numbers caused by IVFA stretching each donor to as many recipients as possible (4 families, multiple attempts, +siblings), rather than dud quality - because it would just be mean to offer bad sperm from the donor program. We found our perfect match in the 4 profiles we saw, so within a week of the BFN we were ready to meet with FS to plan our next cycle. I didn't feel any need to veto anything. Even though donor choice wasn't my "responsibility", the profile DH chose had some particular criteria that I was hoping for, which were in some cases irrelevant to DH's decision making criteria. We don't feel like we've "settled" for anything. The donor is a perfect match for us.

It's a bit of a businesslike perspective, needing to consciously decide what traits you want in the donor. Be honest with your choices. Own them and be proud of them. One of DH's requirements was that for unrelated sperm the donor must have blue eyes (we both have blue eyes, I didn't care about eye colour). Choosing sperm is not begging. It's NOT a case of "beggars can't be choosers. It's about finding the right match for you as a couple. Other organ donations also have to be matched to their recipients - although in those cases it's for immunological reasons, but still the situations are not really so different.

Unless IVFA policy has changed, you are allowed 3 fresh attempts with anonymous before having to pay to go back to the bottom of the list. After our first anonymous cycle didn't work any better than the related ones (still didn't make any blastocysts) I got extremely depressed. After 2 wks of crying - which started at ET when the scientist revealed that there were still no blasties for us - I saw my GP and commenced 4-6 months of antidepressants to help me deal with the expected duration of grieving for forever being childless. (Turns out now that the grief was premature, but it was real, and still makes me cry to remember it.)
Even though we love our FS and think he was correct and proactive with our treatment, we made him get many additional opinions to get the most of our remaining 2 cycles. This resulted in my being transferred to a different FS for the last cycle which worked.

As we'd had similarly bad results from using different sperm we were strongly advised that our last cycle should be the final attempt with my eggs, so we were also preparing for double donation from using SIL and my brother. Even though brown eyes were on the cards, DH did not have an issue with that if there was a genetic relationship with the child. We were not prepared to go through the expense and rollercoaster of doing a cycle from scratch if we weren't genetically related. We were also preparing to enter the donor embryo waiting list (was told to expect 3-5 years wait or more).

So that's the story of our decision to go down the donor sperm route. If you want any points fleshed out some more just ask away and expect another long reply.

Oh, and "So that's where I came from" ISBN 9781742031019 is a facts of life book for kids which treats ART and gamete donation in a way that doesn't make a big deal about it, but encourages acceptance of all sorts of different families.

[felicita]

Hi girls - my DH and I have male factor infertility also. DH has a count of only half a million per ml, so our only option would be sperm donation. I am 36 and he is 42, so we feel we are running out of time to have a child together.

Are there any success stories with donations here? We aren't even sure where to start looking - we would have a home donor and AI. Any suggestions would be appreciated!

If they're a healthy half million then IVF should work. You only need a dozen or so good sperm per cycle.

[March2011]

OMG thank you so much so great to hear all that from you. The fact that you have two babies on the way gives me so much hope.

We have not really talked about finding a sperm donor from my DH family he has no brothers that would make things to easy lol. I did think if my eggs are no good we could use his sister and one of my brothers as I don't have a sister :-( .

I am finding it hard to know if we should not tell anyone and just use anonymous sperm to save the feeling of my DH. So much to think and talk about. So far to go yet just having this chat has made me feel a million times better. I cried pretty much all last weekend both of us did on and off.

We have decided Monday is a new beginning for us no more feeling depressed siting around the house. Time to Start eating healthy again and back to the gym for both of us.

Thanks soooo much for the help it's a lot to take in xxxx

[felicita]

I am finding it hard to know if we should not tell anyone and just use anonymous sperm to save the feeling of my DH. So much to think and talk about. So far to go yet just having this chat has made me feel a million times better. I cried pretty much all last weekend both of us did on and off.

We have decided Monday is a new beginning for us no more feeling depressed siting around the house. Time to Start eating healthy again and back to the gym for both of us.

Thanks soooo much for the help it's a lot to take in xxxx

The grief upon realising or believing that you're losing a dream is normal. Difficult, but normal.
Ours lasted for more than one weekend when then andrologist conclusively confirmed Sertoli-only.

I only mentioned it briefly in the long post, but (if you need to) if you consider that the sperm donation is made to your DH, and NOT to you as a couple or to you as the woman, then you are still using his sperm and having a baby together.

[MrsMackSee]

DH had an accident as a kid and suffered trauma to his testicles - only one of them works now and even then not very well! His morphology and motility are low too - 5% and 2%. He is going to freeze a sample anyway just in case.

Our best bet probably would be donor sperm as we are that bit older. I have a nine year old daughter from a previous relationship and she is desperate for a sibling!

[March2011]

The grief upon realising or believing that you're losing a dream is normal. Difficult, but normal.
Ours lasted for more than one weekend when then andrologist conclusively confirmed Sertoli-only.

I only mentioned it briefly in the long post, but (if you need to) if you consider that the sperm donation is made to your DH, and NOT to you as a couple or to you as the woman, then you are still using his sperm and having a baby together.

Thanks Felicita I think it's just the beginning of our grief as I still hold some hope for the biopsy. Even if the dr did not give us any hope. It could still work out fingers and everything else crossed.

Thanks for the donor advice it's a great way to look at it. I am sure with time I will just be excited for any baby at the moment just angry with the world. Great to chat to you about it no one knows how it feels unless they have had it happen to them. Sick of the "it will be fine" comment but people really don't have anything else they can say. Thanks again :-)

[felicita]

We kept our hope even after the negative biopsy by my FS. The andrologist he referred us to next (Dr David Golovsky in Sydney, wonderful man) helped keep the hope alive because he was so sure he'd be able to find some sperm (based on physical exam and bloodwork) that we did an IVF stim cycle so that we wouldn't have to freeze them because they were going to be so precious, delicate and rare.

As for "it will be fine", even my MIL, who knew of our problems, tried the old "just relax" on us.

[peoniesarepretty]

Hi - just thought I'd chime in here. Felicita knows my tale already, but might help some others.

My DH has no sperm ... literally zero. After two semen analysis results showing zero count, he was sent to Dr Derek Lok. Dr Lok did a fine needle aspiration and biopsy ... and found nothing. The biopsy results came back with a diagnosis of Sertoli cell only syndrome. Dr Lok then just launched straight into a conversation about donor sperm with us, and made it sound as if that was the only option then. He was pushing the idea of using a sibling, as DH has 4 brothers.

We (DH in particular) were not keen on the idea of using someone we knew. So at first we dealt with the news, and came to terms with it. And then made the decision to proceed with anonymous donor sperm. However, at the time I was still recovering from fibroid surgery and couldn't do anything anyway. But started to gather information to get ready. At a follow-up visit with the gyno surgeon, we told him what had gone on & he immediately rang Dr David Golovsky (mentioned by Felicita above) & asked him to see if he could help us. Well, he found that Dr Lok had not even run some key chromosome tests on DH ... and when he did run those, he could not see any reason why DH has Sertoli cell only. He was hopeful and estimated a 50% chance of finding sperm through doing a microdissection. We decided to proceed, and started a stim cycle for me, with EPU to coincide with the day Dr G did the microdissection. We also went on the donor waiting list and got to the top just in time to choose a donor as a backup. Again, just like Felicita, there was one really clear choice that we were both so happy with. Was a fantastic match for us. We approached it slightly differently, in that we both looked through the profiles (there were about 10) independently, and reconvened to talk about them. We had both chosen the same one! And we each had another different one as options too. But I thought that one was the clear standout and as we had both independently chosen him, it was an easy decision.

Unfortunately, on the day (which was only a few weeks ago) Dr G was not able to find any sperm in DH - there is literally none there to be found. He came out to tell me that right before I went in for my EPU. (as it turned out, DH didn't know the result at all and when they put us together in recovery after my EPU I was the one who broke the news to him) They ICSId my eggs with the donor sperm, and we had a hatching blastie transferred 5 days later. Unfortunately there was nothing to freeze, but the good news is that it worked. I am pregnant! Will be 6 weeks along tomorrow.

DH is very glad he went ahead with the op so he will never wonder if there was a chance he could have done more. He had a few days of pain, but has recovered really well & is totally fine now, a few weeks later. And we are both very comfortable with our donor choice, and really cautiously excited about the journey ahead! We have told most family (my brother and one of DH's brothers don't know yet about the sperm/donor situation because ... well, because those particular people are a bit hopeless and very hard to get hold of to have a proper conversation with), and some close friends. We will not be hiding the donor fact at all.

Good luck with your decision!

[felicita]

We approached it slightly differently, in that we both looked through the profiles (there were about 10) independently, and reconvened to talk about them. We had both chosen the same one! And we each had another different one as options too. But I thought that one was the clear standout and as we had both independently chosen him, it was an easy decision.

Even though our (peonies and my) perspectives approaching the selection process were different, we actually both used essentially the same method to achieve selection. Rather than discuss and compromise, DH and I were going to use declare and veto. But when you both agree so completely on the one you want, you don't need to compromise or veto. It's probably not unusual to agree on donor, there's a reason why we make good couples.

Edit: Oh, and peonies, can you recall how long the waiting list was for you. I couldn't remember that detail of your story, but I know it was a lot shorter than when I did it.

[peoniesarepretty]

Yes, exactly! And I would say most people would probably be looking for some similar characteristics/attributes & values as themselves or their male partner. I know we were. E.g. My DH is extremely tall, and so is his whole family - it is a real family trait. That was something that was fairly important to us - as such we were never going to choose someone short. When you throw something like that into the equation, along with any genetic or medical things you want to consider, as well as things like hair & eye colour, skin colour, and the values they express (or what they choose to let on in what they write anyway), then it will be really obvious.

The waiting time was about 2 months for us. I had to round up/remind/agitate a little bit at the end, as it was getting to be a matter of days until my AF arrived & we didn't want to miss out on starting the cycle.


I know there are other clinics, such as Fertility First, that don't have any waiting time. But if you're doing the microdissection with Dr G, then you kind of need to go through IVFA.

[March2011]

Peoniesarepretty thanks for sharing all these stories are helping me so much. Super scared and excited about what's to come.

When you use donor sperm does the donor get access to your information ? I read that at 18 the child has the right to find the donor if they want is this true ? My DH does not want to tell anyone not even our families so he feels more like a father to the child. I think soon as he has a little baby in his arms all that will be forgotten and he will be the most amazing dad.

Thanks xxx

[felicita]

The donor doesn't get identifying information about the recipients. If the donor asks then they are allowed to know the number, gender and year of birth of any children resulting from their donation.
If the donor has conditions attached to who may receive their donation, then they'll obviously know that any recipients meet those conditions.

At 18, the child is allowed to access identifying information about the donor (full name, DOB, last known address). Anonymous donation isn't really anonymous anymore. Donor details are stored (at least in NSW) on a central registry once a child is born.

The sharing of information prior to the child's 18th birthday is by mutual consent. If both parties do wish to share information they can do so directly with each other, or they can go through an intermediary such as the IVF clinic.

One of the things we liked about our donor is that he is OK with direct contact prior to our children turning 18. Although we do not want to instigate contact, we wanted that option to be available in case our children desire it.

[March2011]

Thanks for the information. We saw the FS this week and he said we could get sperm from Australia or America.

We like the sound of the American because you get a lot more information on the person. We want to find someone as close as possible to my DHs looks. They only cost about $300 more then the Australian sperm. I did not have a clue how much there could be to work out to have a baby. You just think it will be easy and try you hardest when you are young not to get pregnant. Now I feel like I have done a total 360 trying to get pregnant lol.

Thanks for the info