Adopting Step Children

[LadyLauren]

I will apoligise in advance because i will probably rant and go around in circles.

Heres the dilemma. A) My DF wants to adopt me son when we get married - I have no problems what so ever with this. B) I DONT KNOW HOW TO GO ABOUT IT!!


My son is 6 this year and i have had no contact with his biological father for years. The last time i spoek to him i was 22 weeks pregnant and rung him telling him this. He denied the baby and called me every possible name under the sun. The proceeded to threaten my mother - who ahd to take over the call because i was to upset.

His name is not on the birth certificate and he is exempted from paying child support. I have worked my big butt off to support me and my little guy, with hardly anything from the government.

Then i met my DF, fell in love and all that **** lol and were expecting our first. Shane wants to adopt nick or take guardianship so he is legally Nicks fathers. Nick loves him and Shane loves him.

I have rung DOC's and they told me to speak to the courts, i went to the courts they told me to ring DOC's - it a wild goose chase.

I rung the legal helpline for verification as to what to do but hey have informed me that no matter what we do his biological father with still ahve rights to him.

I think this is a load of hogwash (for a better word). It makes my blood boil. I send his biological father when Nick was 4 months old and he attmepted to push me down stairs (at a busy westfields!)

Can i just go to BDM's and get SHanes name on the birth certificate. Will this legally do? or do i have to provide evidence that Shane is the birth father?

We are trying to stay out of lawyers offices only for the sake of money - people have told us it will be pricey... reallllllll pricey. And also cause i dont want that SOB to know what were doing.

Can any body pleasssseeee help?! this is really doing my head in.

Lauren

[MummyCharmzy]

brilliant topic thanks - PLEASE let me know how you get on as my DP wants to adopt Zach and same kinda situation, Zach has nothing to do with bio father, his name isnt on the birth certificate and he pays nothing... just the way i like it!

From what I know from my very brief chat with a legal rep the bio father will have NO rights because there name isnt on the birth certificate and the only way to get any rights is to make u get a paternity test done.. which u can fight if the time comes and prolong from happening and then you have the same fight as me 'you havent been in his life for X years what makes u think u can now' - so dont worry about that aspect.

Bio father can't object to your son being adopted unless he does get the paternity test and all that done... and then if his name ends up on the birth certificate bio father would need to agree to DS being adopted and sign away parental rights.

[RaryGirl]

My DD wants to be adopted by my DH - who she considers her father and DH wanted the same so we started researching.

Each state has different rules - but in Qld an adoption can only occur if it actually changes the family structure. This means step parents can't adopt their step children as it won't actually change the family structure, so they don't consider a need for the adoption to happen.

I've looked into ways around it and there aren't any.

The compromise we've come up with is DD uses the same surname as DH. She's happy as she is "officially" (in her eyes) his daughter as they have the same surname!

[StrawberryTheMilkshake]

Hi Nic

I was wondering, can you legally change your child's surname to your new dh's?

Im just wondering because my child's father is on the birth certificate and has access visits which he is not attending. So if i got married again im wondering how my child would be able to take on my new surname so we are all one surname??

Any ideas?


Great topic, alot of us are in similar situations :)

[MummyCharmzy]

yep change def change the surname if no father on birth certificate but if the bio father is on the birth certificate i think he would have to agree to it. When we get married all our surnames will change to DP's as atm DS and I have my surname and our 2 DD's have hyphenated surnames :)