Does it really get easier?

[missneriss]

My DS is one month old tomorrow. I think he's quite an unsettled baby, although not having had much to do with babies before I have nothing to compare him with! When I wake in the morning and he's still asleep, I lie there dreading him waking up and the day of screaming beginning.

Whenever he's awake and not attached to my boob, he's crying. The only way I can get him to stop is drive him around in the car or put him in the pram. That only works sometimes, others he'll just keep screaming and crying (and sometimes I join in!!) I can't get ANYTHING done because I'm either out in the car or wheeling him around, or carrying him around the house, or breastfeeding.

DH is really supportive but he's at work all day and it's hard for him to come home to both his wife and son in tears!

Everyone keeps saying it gets easier at 6 weeks. Is this true? I keep seeing people with smiling, happy 5 month olds and think there's no way my son will ever be that calm and relaxed.

Please tell me it gets easier! I never realised this would be so hard. I really love him and seeing him cry so much breaks my heart.

[poshBecks]

Oh Nerissa :hugs:

Hon the first 6 weeks really is hard. But you start to get a bit of a routine from about the 6 week mark.

I had trouble with Connor being like that when he was 4 weeks old. In the end I worked out he was hungry (poor bub.. I had tiny amout of milk).

Not that I'm saying that is what is wrong. But anyway. Maybe have a visit to your local baby health clinic & see if they might be able to help you out!!

Hang in there it does get better. :hugs:

[misskittyfantastico]

Oh you poor thing:hugs: You sound like you're talking about me and my DD.

The first four months were honestly the most awful months in my life. Just get through each hour as best you can - it won't last forever, I promise.

Don't put any expectations on yourself. You don;t have to anything other than be with your baby. Once I realised this I felt a lot calmer in general.

Is bub colicky at all?....you can get different things from the chemist to help with that.

Will he go for walks in the pram?...also a sling is fantastic...hugabub slings are highly recommended.

Don't feel bad for crying and screaming....let it out.

Is there a mothers group nearby that you could join?

Sorry for the randomness of this reply....but I really know where you're coming from.

Finally my girl is now one and while she's still demanding, she is 100% easier to cope with...I enjoy her now.

PM me anytime:hugs:

[jaimie]

Yes It does get better! Hang in there..and maybe go off for a visit to your CHN as Poshbecks said. There are lots of things that could be causing him to cry all day..although they do cry a lot at that age but I think you know yourself when they are crying more than normal. And if it makes you fell any better, i was in tears every day nearly when Dh got home(and while i would be on the phone yelling at him to get home and help me!)and Jazz was a 'good' baby... I really hope things start getting better for you soon.:hugs:

[ElizaDee]

Spencer is doing this too I just had a midwife/lactation consultant come over today and she said this is normal. Also try holding him, I have to hold him while he sleeps at the moment. So I relate.

She also said they go through a developmental spurt (brain) and they dont really know what is happening and they look for comfort. ie breast feeding!:thumbsup:

Spencer is 5 weeks old so looking forward to the magic 6 weeks too.:yes:

[lovebeingamum!]

First of all - a big, huge :hugs: (It makes you feel better, just seeing those little guys, doesnt it?!)

I think that it does get easier... I remember sitting looking at my sleeping, quiet, brand new baby... and just bursting into tears: "...but what if he starts crying?? It's hard when he's 'good', what about when he's difficult, what if... what if... what if..."

As time goes on, yes they get 'easier', but we also start to get the hang of it!! He's adjusting to the brand new world, you're adjusting to this brand new role... that doesnt come with any on-the-job training, by the way! lol
Saying that though, I do agree with poshBecks, if you're concerned - if that little (just developing) 'mummy instinct' is telling you that you need to check if there's a reason he's crying, I suggest you do it. I'm not sure about where you live, but my Community Health Centre was an ABSOLUTE god-send. And if you get someone you dont like, try again or ask to speak to someone else.
I know I had to give up breastfeeding at 4 and a half months cause he was hungry...

And better yet, keep lines of communication open - Bub Hub is a wonderful place. And feel free to PM me anytime - I may not know you, but I've been there and I feel for ya! :yes:

[Milliner]

:hugs: to you!! I guess that all babys are different. I still have major problems with my 9 month old. He was the same as your bub at that age. I don't want to tell you that it will or will not get better just sending :hugs: your way.

I know how you feel if you ever want to chat pm me. I'm in melbourne too, you could try a sleep school they work for some people but not everyone.

People kept telling us oh wait till he hits 6 weeks then 12 weeks but he has never settled down so I hope that your bub does.

[MummyCharmzy]

All babies are different, 6 weeks isnt a magical time when they all sleep when u want, eat when u want etc... things do ease up a bit tho.

With my first it was never hard.. he came home 6 weeks old and was brilliant from the getgo with eating and sleeping.

With my second (our 3rd) she took 12 weeks to sleep through but by 6 weeks we were in a good routine

with my third (our 4th) shes taken 14 weeks to sleep through and I'd say it took 12 weeks for us to be in a good routine and be comfortable with things. Shes been a lot harder than the others thats for sure!


All bubs are different but it DOES get easier as they get older but dont think 6 weeks will be a magic fix for things in case its not.

goodluck :)

[~EmsMum~]

Trust me it does get easier

My DD was a shocking sleeper till she was around 8 weeks old

[Rhys'Mum]

Totally agree with Lovebeingamum.

The only thing I would add is, start demanding help from your health nurses now. Don't wait for months on end coping as best you can. Don't put on a brave face, 'well its a bit hard but we're OK'. If everything sorts itself out with time, great. Hopefully they will get a picture of what's going on and actually be helpful if things continue being really tough. If nothing else talking to them, crying at them, screaming at them if you need could be really theraputic (sp).

Some might totally disgree and think I'm a monster but IMO while love for our little people might come easily, sometimes it is hard to like them. But equally the mushy good stuff is really true too, motherhood can be truly fabulous and our little people can be absolutely delightful.

[RedPanda]

It does get easier. I posted a similar cry for help some time ago called "Please tell me it gets easier". My DS is now three and a half months old and it DOES get easier.

People talk about the magical "six week" mark, and I believe it. With my DS it was more like eight weeks, but all of a sudden, you find that things are getting better and easier. Your baby starts smiling and interacting, and things become more rewarding.

Hang in there - you're not alone and your feelings are completely normal.

[cassi*girl]

My advice would be to go to a Paediatric Chiropractor.
We had 11 weeks of pure hell where we would have to nurse DS as it was the only way he would shut up! We nursed him for about 20 hours a day.....
It turns out his shoulder was out of his socket and he couldn't put his chin to his chest as his neck was out too!

BEST $$ we have ever spent.

We left there and he slept for 3 hours straight IN HIS COT!! We kept checking that he was ok...lol.

I have just today taken DD (2 weeks old) to the chiropractor and it appears she has a broken collar bone - BUT we thought she was fine as she is our angel. Hardly cries. Is really settled and happy.

So that is my suggestion - you have nothing to lose and something might be physically wrong with your bubs!!

[cassi*girl]

I just noticed you are in Melbourne.......I am too!!
I go to Dr Braden G Keil who works at Boronia and also Ivanhoe if that is any help to you.
Just pm me if you want any further info - phone numbers/address etc.

Good luck.
Sandi :)

[melbryan]

I hear you I am sitting at the pc with DS2 on my chest. He is a little unsettled not as bad as DS1. It is so hard and I suffered from PND cause I just couldn't handle it. Seek some help, sleep school, community health nurse, paeds, doctors whatever you can as when you feel helpless you feel there is no answer.
I have worked out I can't handle the crying and am not really a baby person so I cope the best we can.
My bubbA was hungry never eally went to sleep, waking constantly between feeds. He is on reflux and wind stuff and he is just bearable. He can be settled by being held where as DS1 just cried and kicked and was an alsolute nightmare.
Trust your instincts and hassle whoever you need to , to get the answers.
Good luck.

[bronny-jane]

:D it really does get better, my dd 2 was the hardest baby i have ever come across in my life:eek:

she was lactose intolerent, had really bad colic and would spend her days and night screaming:( , it was so hard, i had PND too which didnt make it easier, i would just get so angry with her, why wouldnt she just shut up and go to sleep......finally after a few weeks she was alot better, thank god:D

have you tried using a dummy, zoe is a huge comfort sucker.......now i just pop the dummy in her mouth and she settles herself.

i hope things get easier soon

[~mia&ryan~]

:hugs: :hugs: Oh hon, it will get better! Those first few weeks are crazy for everyone. Definately see your CHN or dr just to make sure all is okay. Is there anyone around you who you can ask for some help or just to be there with you during the day for a bit of moral support and a shoulder to cry on? It would make a big difference...Take care and lots more :hugs:

[ThreePinkFaireez]

I had trouble with Connor being like that when he was 4 weeks old. In the end I worked out he was hungry (poor bub.. I had tiny amout of milk).

Not that I'm saying that is what is wrong. But anyway. Maybe have a visit to your local baby health clinic & see if they might be able to help you out!!



I second that.... my first daughter would scream all the time unless she was attached.... but as poshBecks says, not saying that's the problem, but take a visit to your health clinic or maybe even your GP... Hang in there! It will get easier! :hugs:

[red crayon]

like everyone has said, slowly but surely things get better. you get better at being a mum and your bub gets more used to the world. my girlfriend told me to mark off week 12 in my calendar - that's when she felt things got a bit better. and she was right. however, like someone else has mentioned, this isn't a magic point when your child all of a sudden stops crying and starts sleeping 12 hours a night...well, you might get lucky. i think it's probably when you find yourself in more of a routine and when your baby starts to interact with you a bit more.

take it easy on yourself and take care of yourself.

[MrsMiggins]

:hugs: I know exactly how you feel (and don't worry - so do the majority of new mums I'd say!!)

My DD would just scream & scream & scream, refuse to be put down anywhere, fight sleep, refuse to attach properly - you name it!!

In those first days I questioned my previous desire to have more than one child, in fact the thought of ever having a baby again made me cringe in fear!! The fact that my DD is yet to have her first birthday (OK, it's tomorrow!) and I am 19.5 weeks PG is sure testimony to the fact that yes indeed it does get better!! :yes:

(And the fact that my DH said to me when we first discovered that we were PG "At least newborns only poop, sleep & eat" I think is testimony to the fact that we can and do forget all the nastiness of those first few weeks!!:laughing: )

The 6-week mark was the magic number for me. I'm sure you will find this as well. Perhaps your bub will settle at this time (many do) but if like mine, he doesn't, don't fret too much - it DOES become soooooo much easier to cope with it all!

My tip - log onto bubhub whenever you can! It is a sure-fire sanity saver to know others are going through exactly the same thing - or have been through it & have survived, sanity intact!

I hope you get some peace soon! :hugs:

[almond eyes]

First here's a big :hugs: for you.

I'm sure your little one will be much calmer in time. You will too once a routine has been set and everyone is quite comfortable with it. Besides, it's only been a month and it's perfectly normal for any mum to feel overwhelmed.

Unfortunately, whilst things are calmer, I won't lie to you, you will always be confronted by one challenge or another. It starts with establishing sleep patterns then feeding then baths then weaning then teething then eating solids then toilet training...and the list goes on and on till they reach adulthood. Even then the challenges don't end. But don't worry, we are all made to handle it. :cool:

Again, :hugs: and hope things calm down sooner than later.

[motherhoodlmb]

I know you've had many posts of support, but I just wanted to add mine :thumbsup:

Your post bought a little tear to my eye because I remember feeling like you do, though my (then) baby wasn't unsettled all day, just in the afternoon. I'd look at my partner's older neices and nephews and think how easy it looked. Anyway, my oldest starts school next year!

Yes, yes, yes it does get better. Yes, there are different challenges and it can be constant, relentless and full on (especially when you begin to have more kids!) but PLEASE know that it does get easier and less intensive.

Take care.
Lisa

[missneriss]

I just want to say a big thankyou to everyone for your replies. :hugs:

It means so much to me to know that others have been through the same. When he cries and cries (and cries) I keep telling myself - it can't last forever! It helps so much to know I'm not the only one! I was feeling like a failure as a mum for a bit.

I know the challenges will keep coming! I'm just looking forward to him being able to communicate better, so I don't feel so helpless when he won't stop crying.

Thanks again - it has helped more than I can say.