View Full Version : Not sure where to go for help :(
So really not coping at the moment, havent slept for 3, maybe 4 nights, head is pounding, the baby wont stop crying, is only quiet when being b/f and has just got teeth and thinks they are a chew toy, toddler has to join in adn whinge cry. All I wanna do is yell at them to shut up and run away and hide.
What do you do when you aren't capable of looking after your kids anymore?? I feel so bad for them but I really just dont know what to do :(
Oh I couldnt read and not reply
:hugs: I don't really have any advice as i feel much the same a lot of the time...
is there anyone who could come look after the kids for a bit so you could get some sleep?
Also there is a private and/PND discussion area where there are many wise wonderful and supportive people, PM if you would like access :)
Hopefully someone will have better advice sorry I'm not much help
One handed hubbing on the go
:hugs: to you, don't feel bad for the kids, you are doing the best you can under the circumstances. The lack of sleep and the constant demands of two kidlets with completely different needs can put you under fierce pressure. Don't be too hard on yourself, you are not supermum :hugs:
When my two were that age, I would put on the TV, give them dummies, order take-away or take something out of the freezer, and call DH to see if he can come home early. If it is unusual for Bub to be crying so much, maybe just give a dose of panadol and see if he calms down, it won't hurt him and it might help. And then just do whatever it takes to get to the end of the day with the lease stress for you all.
Who have you got by way of support, other than your DH?
Big hugs, honey, its a tough time, be gentle with yourself xox Tiggy
I'm sorry to hear you have been having a tough time. There are many Mums out there (myself included), who can relate to wanting to run away. There have been several times in the last 8 months where I have just wanted to run down the street screaming, or just...escape, and not tell anyone where i've gone.
I have to agree with Tiggy, the TV came in handy on many occasions. Prior to these feelings, my children never watched TV, but i'm proud to admit that it has helped me. And there is nothing wrong with something if it helps you in your time of need.
Also, do you have family who can help out?
Aw you poor thing :( Sounds like you are doing it tough at the moment. There isn't any shame in not coping. Three or four days without sleep is a long time for anyone, let alone a mum with three children including a newborn. Is there anyone that you can ask for help? Partner, parents/in laws or friends?
Sorry I don't have any advice but just wanted to let you know that I am sure you are doing a great job. I also second what the others have said about the pnd/and private chat area. It's a great place to find support and advice.
Lots of these :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:
Oh hun. I completely understand that feeling. Have you got someone who can come and give you some time out - even if it's for an hour to have some you time (or sleep)
As Tiggy suggested will your toddler watch some tv while you lay on the couch and feed bubs.
Hugs hun and please talk to someone if you feel you are really struggling - don't suffer alone xxx
I don't have any advice but just wanted to give some of these:hugs::hugs::hugs: Sounds like you are going through a really hard time. Is anyone able to help out for a bit while you catch up on sleep?
:hugs: also. I really hope you have someone you can ask for help. Not much else to add sorry I haven't slept much lately myself and I know when it's been a few days the affects are really bad. Just don't feel bad it's normal to feel that way going through that.
Don't feel guilty qtkiwi. It's normal to feel this and way and like most of the ladies here, there have been many time I wanted to pack my bags and run away. I've wanted to leave the country and start a new life.
Do you have anybody to help you with the kids? Can you take a few hours away just to have some time for yourself?
Thanks everyone. Yeah, I am doing it a bit tough and feeling sorry for myself (and my kids most of all). Unfortunately we have no family here and no real friends that I would call close enough to come and watch the kids for me. DH is actually home today but he had eye surgery yesterday and has to spend 3 days face down, plus he's still in a lot of pain from the surgery. Just to make things better I had to drive him to the hospital for a checkup which was a 3 hour round trip. I was practically slapping myself across the face the last half hour to stay awake. Of course the kids slept the last 10 m ins and then decided they were done sleeping for the day.
My 2 year old loves tele, I hate it, lol. When he was a baby I never even turned it on, now it seems to be on all the time. But today he was "I wanna watch Dora"...turn Dora on...30 seconds late..."dont wanna watch this one, want a different Dora" or something similarly annoying so after I few of those I cracked and turned the tv off which caused a major tantrum and of course major tantrums from the 2 yer old always make bubs start screaming too in sympathy. If you cant beat them, join them!!
When I first started thinking a few weeks ago that maybe I should just leave and disappear it really scared me. I could never understand how people could do that before, but I think now I can. I've been to see a psychologist who told me I have chronic fatigue and need to get some sleep. No crap, why didnt I think of that? I'll just go home and sleep for a week, no problem:laughing:
Bubs went from being a great sleeper to a never sleeper, but he's always been happy til now. The last week he's been a nightmare but he had 2-3 days of diarohea plus he's had his 4 front teeth come through between 23 Dec and 2 Jan so I can understand him being cranky. I just wish he would sleep without me, its so tiring spending so long getting him to sleep for him to wake as soon as you try and put him down, or only sleep 20-30 mins. I can't cope with it so I dont know how he does.
Anyway, thanks for all your lovely words of support, they have meant a lot to me today. Inkognito, I'll PM you x
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