Did your DH/DP/DF have a say about bottle feeding? [Archive]

jessgray

09-10-2006, 14:34

Did your husband/partner have a say about how you were going to feed your newborn? with ds1 DP and i talked about it and we chose to FF so DP could enjoy the joys of late night feeds too lol
Or was the decision entirely up to you?this time round i kinda decided on my own but DP understands why and thinks its thebest option we chose BF for #2 coz ds1 has allergies.

Little Gorilla

09-10-2006, 14:37

SamanthaJane

09-10-2006, 14:38

He wanted me to try BF, but ultimately the decision is up to me.

EskimoMumma

09-10-2006, 14:40

Of course he had a say. Always.

Niki

09-10-2006, 14:40

df didnt have much imput because in the end the decision was up to me

Little_Toad

09-10-2006, 14:47

I'm going to be bottle feeding for two reasons.

1. I'm on medication that recommends you don't breast feed.
2. I've never felt the urge to do it. None of the kids in our family were breast fed.

My DP would prefer I breast fed.
His ex wife came round one afternoon. (She's very lovely and is goiing to be godmother).

We were having a chat about feeding and she said she breastfed till her daughter was 3 years old. DP went through all the reasons why i should be breast feeding.
I didn't like that he had done this infront of someone else as it was ultimately my decision. I asked him not to do this again.
I have pormised him I will give the baby the colostrum.

if I wasn't on the medication I would considering breastfeeding cause iit's important to DP.

annsam

09-10-2006, 14:48

He supported me in my decisions, listened to me rant about not wanting to give up expressing etc but saw the stress growing. I think he was glad but it was my decision.

WizzFizz

09-10-2006, 14:57

DF was the one that bought DS's first tub of forumla....he could see I was at my wits end - struggling more each day, tears dripping down my face onto bub as I tried to feed.:crying: ...finally he just said "that's it...." - went and picked out the teats & bottles and tub of formula for me (incidentially he was also the one that bought me my breast pump).

I love him to bits for this...:kiss: he knows me like no one else and could see I was ready for a major melt down.

Oh that sounds just like my DH - He went and bought the bottles, teats, Milton equipment etc etc - it kinda went unsaid and we'd planned that I would breastfeed, but things went pear-shaped those first few weeks...I guess he wanted a sane wife/mother and contented satisfied daughter!

Shazbutt

09-10-2006, 19:30

DH said whatever i felt was right.....No pressure either way.

Issey

09-10-2006, 19:37

My DH did NOT want me to breastfeed for his on selfish reasons :thumbsdown: . I chose to B/F and I am just weaning at the moment down to two feeds per day. I will be sad to give it up as it feels like a special bond I have with my son. :crying: DH is looking forward to getting me back to himself as I haven't liked him near them since b/f. Doesn't feel right to me.

shed

09-10-2006, 19:44

StarMumma

10-10-2006, 10:56

We breastfed DS1 for about 6wks an then DF could see I was manic with sleep dep, stress, etc and we decided to switch to formula.
This time round I would really like to give bf another try as I feel I am better prepared and have more knowledge, and want both boys to have them same start in life.
DF is not so keen. He wants DS2 to be ff straight away and get a "routine" happening from the beginning!
However, he is happy to let me try bf again, but has advised he'll be on stand by with the formula and bottles if need be!

reAllytee

10-10-2006, 11:47

I dont think having a say comes into it as such .... We discussed many things about what we would do & wouldnt do.
He knew i had a few issues with b/f but with his support & counselling & advice form my middies i gave it a go. Many would say i didnt etc but i know i did as does my DP.
He knew i was stressed etc & when i asked for him to go buy formula after 4 days he did it with no dramas either way. He was actually quite proud of himself for finding all the right things needed lol !
We also know from again talking things through with each other that next bubs will be b/f & hopefully this time things will be different !

Areca

10-10-2006, 11:58

I'm with Allyoo...things were discussed, it wasn't really him getting to have a say. I said that I was going to bf, but only for three months and DP was happy with that. He has been truly supportive of me continuing to bf and he thinks it is great that I still am. I'm sure that if I had had enough, had troubles and wanted to stop he would have happily gone out and bought formula and bottles. He was great in the early days too, he'd come home from work and cook dinner so that I could just relax and bf and he helped with other household chores too.

Melo

10-10-2006, 11:58

Not really, he supported my decision either way. My milk was drying up very quickly, I had an upset baby which makes an upset Mumma. I didnt have Bub hub around to help me so it seemed like the only way to go.

LittleBoysRock

10-10-2006, 12:09

My DH didnt want me to bottle feed but by day 5 when my milk hadnt come in, I had a screaming baby who was hungry and not getting any milk, I had sore nipples and no idea what I was doing. Formula was a very attractive option. My DH thinks I gave in too easily and that I should have tried harder but to be honest he wasnt bloody well doing it!!

I made the right choice for ME and my BABY! DH wants me to BF my next child, I havent made up my mind yet.

jocr

10-10-2006, 14:51

My husband fully supported me in making the decision about finally formula feeding after 6 weeks of attempting to BF, expressing and supplementing DD feed. He encouraged me, and we made the decision together.

~mia&ryan~

11-10-2006, 14:38

Oh that sounds just like my DH - He went and bought the bottles, teats, Milton equipment etc etc - it kinda went unsaid and we'd planned that I would breastfeed, but things went pear-shaped those first few weeks...I guess he wanted a sane wife/mother and contented satisfied daughter!
Sounds like my DF too!:D He helped me do what was right for DD and we have never looked back :yelclap:

MrsMiggins

11-10-2006, 14:48

Great question!!!! :thumbsup:

DH begged me to supplement DD with a bottle, as it was really hard for him to watch us go on as we were when it was so difficult & I was in incredible pain.

I really didn't want to do it, I just wanted to try & persevere as long as I could & DH was supportive, but in the end I relented as I just needed a break, and DH went right out & bought a pack of the single-use sachets so I didn't feel under pressure to use it, but so that it was there if we needed it.

He was great!

He's a bit worried about trying again this time round, but is again very supportive!

Africamum

12-10-2006, 00:19

I dont consciously remember having a discussion with DH about B/F or F/F DS. I think we both assumed that I would B/F. Becuase that I was moving here (Tanzania) I had bought everything I needed for Formula Feeding while in Australia because I didn't want to run into strife in the middle of no-where and not have an alternative.

DS was comp feed in hospital as my milk did not come in until Day 6. I continued with the comp feeds for 10 weeks until I got to Tanzania, DH and I decided that I had so much to do organising to move here that there was no point getting stressed about what DS ate however it was always mummy milk first and formula second.

Now we are settled here DS is completely B/F. DH is happy to share my breasts with DS at the moment, they are "on loan":thumbsup:

Sholmes

12-10-2006, 08:42

It was always my intention to breastfeed for as long as I could. As it turns out I had numerous problems and breastfed and expressed for 4 weeks only. I felt defeated, a failure and the last 2 weeks of breasfeeding was spent trying to decide to just go to the bottle. My DH was very supportive and he said that he wouldn't think any less of me if I chose to bottlefeed, he said to ignore all the 'breast is best' rubbish as that doesn't suit everyone and what do mums do when they have no milk?

Having a baby for the first time is a very emotional thing and our hormones are going crazy. I honestly thought I was going mad and cried every day and felt really down and was worried that that sadness would turn into something more serious. I did call Karitane for advice and the woman I spoke to was very nice and she didn't pressure me and wasn't biased about feeding baby breast only. The local childhood nurse was a total b!tch and made me feel really low needless to say I didn't listen to anything she had to say (other mums in my group didn't like her either). Just do what suits you and your baby and you will be ok.

aimz

12-10-2006, 09:49

that sounds exactly like my situation - i was 100% sure i would breastfeed my baby girl for 6 months before going back to work. Well everything seemed fine for 2 weeks and then out of nowhere bub started to projectile vomit and scream on the breast. i was constantly in tears thinking i wasnt doing it right. we spent a night in emergency where i was still forced to breastfeed and the next morning was admitted to the babies ward where a lovely nurse took me to the electric pump where alas nothing came out - problem solved. after giving up and starting again a few days before this she took one look at me and hugged me saying if you dont want to continue thats fine i walked into my gorgeous fiance burst into tears and told him. his reaction - what a relief. i have had 100% support from him and his family but the health professionals made me feel inferior and like a failure.

Next time - no pressure ill try it and if it doesnt work then i refuse to feel guilty

tary

13-10-2006, 21:51

I thought about bottle feeding from the beginning as I had trouble from day 1. DH was totally supportive of anything I decided. By six weeks I was still BF but DH could see how hard it was for me as DD just did not like BF. DH is the one who encouraged me to stop even though he and I wanted to BF. It has made DD, DH and I much happier and now we just enjoy.

looy

25-10-2006, 15:38

I have had a real struggle with my husband. He is adamant that I should BF our DD. Evie is 8 weeks old on Sunday, and I have been BF all this time. We are still struggling with the latch on and she is a fussy/lazy feeder, sometimes taking an hour to feed!. It has been the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I do enjoy some feeds, we try to have lots of cuddles and a good bonding session, but alot of the time I just feel like a milking machine and I am frequently anxious about my milk supply and eating anything that may then pass into my breast milk. I have spoken to DH a couple of times about FF, but he doesnt think it's the right thing to do. I have been diagnosed with mild PND and feel that BF is contributing alot to this. DH is worried about me but does not think I should wean. I'm not sure what I should do.....

Seekrit

25-10-2006, 16:47

I said I would be breastfeeding pretty early on in the pregnancy and it didn't come up until friends of ours had a baby a couple of week's after we did. DP was quite disgusted that she didn't even have a go of it. I had no idea he had such a strong opinion on it.

We have a lot on common, Shed. I'm often quoting your posts so I don't have to type the same thing. A few times he's commented about people not giving it a go, or sticking to it.. surprises me somewhat!

Chris doesn't understand why I don't want to ween, but he doesn't make me. He understands I want to breastfeed for as long as I can and he's supportive of that.

Mum&bubs

25-10-2006, 16:50

No not really, I said when I was pregnant with Summer that I was going to breastfeed & he just agreed. But now I'm still breastfeeding Summer & have another bub due in a week and I have told DP that if the tandem thing gets to hard I might have to give it up- THEN he had something to say but I don't care really as its my body my desicion (sp?) :p

Angelmist♥

25-10-2006, 16:53

DH supported me in whichever I chose to do.Although he did prefer FF (go figure) so he could feed as well.He did say that he loved walking in and seeing a bub on the boob though, made him melt apparently:)

MrsMiggins

26-10-2006, 13:47

Quote:
Originally Posted by shed
I said I would be breastfeeding pretty early on in the pregnancy and it didn't come up until friends of ours had a baby a couple of week's after we did. DP was quite disgusted that she didn't even have a go of it. I had no idea he had such a strong opinion on it.

We have a lot on common, Shed. I'm often quoting your posts so I don't have to type the same thing. A few times he's commented about people not giving it a go, or sticking to it.. surprises me somewhat!

Chris doesn't understand why I don't want to ween, but he doesn't make me. He understands I want to breastfeed for as long as I can and he's supportive of that.

That's funny you should say that seekrit!

I never knew DH would have had much of an opinion on it either, (his first DD - my step daughter - was FF by choice. Her mother decided to FF as she was wanting to go back to work when their bub was 6 weeks old) but when I was PG we had friends who decided not to BF and DH was quite critical saying that he couldn't understand why people wouldn't try to BF.

He's changed his tune now though, because we had so many problems BF DD, he is wary of me even giving it a go this time! I have to keep explaining to him that each time is different.