Don't know what to think/do?!

[polony]

My DD went to stay with her father for the first time EVER on Saturday night. He hasn't been in her life AT ALL but I was feeling like it would be a good idea and all....

Anyway, when I went to pick her up yesterday, I noticed her left eye was all swollen and puffed up, so much so that she almost can't see out of it. She also has been saying "ow" ever since she got back home (a day and a half) even when nothing is wrong.

I don't know what to think. I asked DD's dad what happened and he says he doesn't know and that it might have happened when they were sleeping and his head was near hers and he got startled by something and headbutted her. He said that she continued to sleep and didn't do anything.

Something about this whole thing doesn't sit right with me. I don't know if I should be concerned or do anything. I kinda don't want to take her to day care today as I am really embarrassed by how she looks, but I can't miss out on uni.

I just don't know if I should be feeling as concerned as I am. He isn't a violent person, but I have seen him call her a b*tch and swear at her when she did something that didn't please him. She is only 17 months old. He has no experience with kids and has never watched her - EVER. I just don't know what to do.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated! Thanks!

[Little Gorilla]

Something about this whole thing doesn't sit right with me.

I think you have your answer in what you said above.

Trust your gut - you know your child better than anyone else on the face of the planet. I would be asking some more questions of your ex and seeing what he says.

Hopefully, it was nothing more than an accident - god knows how accident prone 17 monthers are....but then its always better to err on the side of causion.

I don't really have any other advice as I have never been in this situation.

[babylover111]

Awww big cuddle to the both of you :hugs:

It doesnt seem right to me either, especially considering you said she can hardly open her eye. If his story was right she would've definately woken up IMO.

Is it just swollen or also bruised? It could be something medical if its only swollen. Like a stye or something stuck in her eye, ive had both of those and they swelled up unbelievably!

[jess_live_die]

:hugs: aww u poor thing my daughter is 16months and her dad is never around and i would never let him take her theres something about him i dnt trust and i would never forgive myself if something happened i would just go with wat u feel coz ur u know best

[mummybunny]

:hugs: wow i wouldnt know what to think or do either... i would be concerned tho..
good luck and hope u and ur little girl r better soon!

[Niki]

i agree with BubbaGanoush go with your gut feeling, it might be nothing but it could be something, better to be safe than sorry

[WeThree]

I would be very concerned, particulary if he did not bring it up, I mean as if he didnt notice :rolleyes: BUT is it possible she has been bitten by some sort of insect or something? Maybe it is a bit of an allergic reaction?
I hope you get to the bottom of it, and until you do, go with your gut instincts :hugs:

[jessgray]

i would go to a dr and get it checked out and tell the dr my concerns and see if they think it is a result of my concerns or as someone else said a insect bite or an allergic reaction.

[Wish_Bear]

Something definately sounds suss to me. Always trust your intuition. 9 times out of 10 it's spot on.

Good luck with everything.:hugs:

[EskimoMumma]

I would get it checked by the doctor and actually sited as well. I would also be contacting the agency about your concerns on what had happened and if you are going to continue to let your DD be with him, to keep up with what exactly is going on and keep a file there. That is very suspcious and the fact you say it just isnt sitting right with you is another giveaway as well.

Big :hugs: to you, and do you have any court papers? I would be seeking a lawyer as well.

[polony]

thank you for all your help so far!!
It is putting my mind at ease that I am not being a paranoid freak! Have DD booked into the doctors and daycare is keeping an eye on her for me today so I can go to class. Phew!
I also spoke to a doctor friend and she told me that it could be a bump to the eye, but that it also sounds like an allergy or a bite. She is away on hols and so cannot see DD for herself, but I will feel more at ease when a doc actually SEES it.
It's horrible when things like this happen, because you just never know how it happened. Such an ill feeling....

[*Chels*]

Aww you poor thing,it must be very hard for you.
Its good you are going to the doctor,then you will have some documentation.Maybe take a photo as well?Then you have something,just in case.
I wouldnt be sending her back to him for now.Trust your instincts:hugs:

[mum2tara]

I'd be reluctant to send my bubs around anyone who called her a b%tch too....even if this turns out to be just an insect bite etc.

If he loses his cool enough to swear at her when she's so young you have to question whether he's mature enough to actually look after her....so trust your instincts is probably right here.

[javalava]

Your right. Something isnt sitting right. That story about bumping heads in the night sounds so rehearsed to me. Even if he isnt violent there is no saying he didnt have someone else around at the house when she was there.

It all sounds a bit suss to me and if you were my friend or family i wouldnt be letting you pass her over to this guy again.

As for the injuries, take some photos. Just incase something like this happens in the future you have proof it has happened before. The photos and the doctors files.

Im very sorry this has happened to you darl. Take care of yourself and your gorgeous girl.

[FourAngelKisses]

I'd be reluctant to send my bubs around anyone who called her a b%tch too....even if this turns out to be just an insect bite etc.

If he loses his cool enough to swear at her when she's so young you have to question whether he's mature enough to actually look after her....so trust your instincts is probably right here.

I agree with that 100%. I also agree that something about the story doesn't sound right. I hope you find out the truth.

[Jodiee]

I would get it checked by the doctor and actually sited as well. I would also be contacting the agency about your concerns on what had happened and if you are going to continue to let your DD be with him, to keep up with what exactly is going on and keep a file there. That is very suspcious and the fact you say it just isnt sitting right with you is another giveaway as well.

Big :hugs: to you, and do you have any court papers? I would be seeking a lawyer as well.


Agree 100%!!!!

[bec79]

I'm with the other ladies here...trust your motherly instincts.

How did you go at the Dr? Get any answers?

[Mamaduke]

You poor things :hugs:
I could just imagine how anxious & nervous you would have been the entire time bubs was with her Dad, and to have her come home in this state...you would be beside yourself.
I hope you get to the bottom of this very soon...for your sake and your gorgeous little girl's.

[SnoozesWithCats]

The eyelid's swollen, but it's not bruised at all, like a black eye?

That sounds a lot like a bite to me. I've had exactly the same thing happen to me when a mozzie bit me on the eyelid - I couldn't open my eye for about two days, it looked (and felt) horrible. That could be a reason why she's a bit owie too - is she trying to scratch it at all?

I can totally see why you're not really happy about DDs dad watching her though - his childminding skills sound pretty much below par.

[polony]

Went to the doctors and they can't figure it out but seem to think it could either be a knock, a bite or that she rubbed her eye with something she was allergic to.

Mamaduke, you hit the nail on the head. I was fretting the whole time she was with him, and then for her to come back to me with a swollen eye....

I am not accusing him of anything. I know that accidents happen, but it just seems weird that he didn't know how it happened. Then again, if it was a mozzie at night, then it could have happened when they were sleeping. Thing is, she didn;t scratch at it or anything so who knows. She is much better now.

But yes, I will think twice before making a decision like that again. Maybe start off small, like monitored visits until I am comfortable that he can take care of her and that they know each other. To her, he is just another stranger who knows her name and picks her up.