compare and contrast :(

[lucyp]

I feel a little sad ( probably not the right word - maybe anxious) - I know I shouldn't compare - but have just returned from mothers group - where ALL the other babies - (8 of them) are sitting up unaided and actually making distinguishable noises/mums and daddda sounds.

DS is 1 week shy of 8 months and cannot yet sit up unaided ( but very close to it) and only makes lovely squealling / dolphin like noises ( gorgeuss for us to hear). He is a very content baby and very rarely cries :)

It is so hard sometimes not to compare your little one with others - but should he be making more distinguishable - wordlike sounds? - when did other bubs speak???????

Thanks again bubhubbers :)

[Artemis]

I think you are right.. it is really hard to not compare your child's development to other childrens.

I know that our daughter was all over the place in regards to her milestones.. sometimes being at the early range.. other times at the very end. I think that it is important to realise that creating an atmosphere where your children feel free to explore and flourish is the main thing. They will do what they want when they are ready for it and all of the stressing in the world wont make a scrap of different. We have totally done away with any development charts (I used to have them on the computer, with websites bookmarked) and just let ourselves be beautifully surpirsed whenever she decided to show us another skill... puts the wonder back into things :) There is a little saying that they have on the wall at my daughter's kindy:

"All children are born with gifts, some just unwrap theirs later than others"

[Sarie]

All babies are sooooooooo different. Our first was sitting up at 5 months, our younger bub is just over 6 months and he's only just started sitting up last Saturday. Nathan started saying Dada at 5 months, but PJ has only said it once. Nathan crawled at 7 months, though we're yet to actually see when PJ does. He's trying hard, but I dunno.
I also found that Nat was and still is very reserved around other kids. Your bub will get there in his own time. So long as he reacts to you, I wouldn't be too concerned. He may not even crawl for very long. Nathan was walking by 10 months. But so long as your bub is happy and healthy, try not to compare him to others. I know its hard, I do it - even just between my two boys!!

[wattle]

I went to a new maternal health centre the other day and fair dinkum, the nurse made me feel like I had a disabled child!

He was making murmuring noises and she asked why he wasn't speaking proper words :confused: , I undressed him to be measured and he cried. She said he shouldn't be crying and that it wasn't normal :confused: . She asked me if he was crawling and I said no - she said he should be by now :mad: . For heavens sake. I was boiling quietly inside by this time.

Then I had him standing up but holding onto my hands (because he loves it and was getting restless in the pram) while she fiddled aroud with the health book, and she said "that's not going to be good for him. He should be on his tummy". :mad:

I know that he's doing fine because of all the other mums here in bubhub land who comment on their babies progress. They're all different at different ages. So a big fat raspberry to the health nurse. I'm not worried any more about when Max crawls, walks, reads etc, he'll do it all when he's ready.

[madvoice]

"All children are born with gifts, some just unwrap theirs later than others"

I think that this is the best statement that we should live by when it comes to our children.

[draught]

I think I have posted elsewhere that DD1 was a late talker - everyone else's babies were saying mumma and dadda and duck and puppy and she was saying nothing. A friend even suggested having her hearing tested, which had me worried. Of course we were worried for no reason - she just didn't need to talk then. She now chatters away non-stop and we forget we were ever worried.

I know how you feel though - she also had no hair until she was 20 months and I used to worry about that too! Seems silly now but it was such an issue that friends I haven't spoken to for a while always ask "has she got hair yet?"!!

I love the saying of unwrapping gifts at different times - it is a lovely way to approach childraising!

[JanetF]

I loathe those rules about what children "should" be doing. According to some lists my son is a certifiable genius and according to others it's amazing he remembers to breathe without aid. Most of them walk and talk before they start school ;)

[Briannabear]

Thats what I reckon. Somewhere along the line they all catch up to one another.
I hate comparisons.

[Belby]

At my mum's group all the babes are roughly the same age, but vary greatly in what they are all doing - my little boy is the only one rolling well, and also the only one not sitting up! So I think they all progress in their own time!

Good on ya wattle for being confident within yourself - I always think that the cyh nurse sees bubs for about 5 minutes - whereas i see him all day every day so have a pretty good idea of where he is with development etc!

Cheers everyone,
Belinda

[Sarie]

exactly. Not to mention they are going to react differently around strange people that they don't see all the time. Apparently when I was little I wouldn't speak when we went out of the house, but at home I wouldn't shut up.

[nemosmum]

I have posted this elsewhere but i'll post again LOL :p

Sitting up is not important, really its not, bubs will do that when they can and not before!

With the talking thing my DS wasnt making "mumma/dadda" sounds either at 8 months of age and me being an E.C teacher (and a special needs teacher at that LOL) I was soooo worried as the milestones say 6 months but I would always tell parents not to worry about it until about 12 months. But when it came to my own child I think I had way higher expectations (which was not good). I have begun to learn to relax and just be thrilled at all the amazing things DS can achieve already! When I stopped attending the early childhood centers early bird mothers group this seemed to help, I know its sound horrible to say that but it was true for me, I hated going every week as the nurses would always compare the bubs!

When your bub does start talking and sittting up and crawling you'll wish you'd enjoyed the immobile, speechless months with bub :p HEHEHE
My DS (14 mths)now runs around yelling "STOP"at everyone he sees LOL :eek:

[Mumof2+1]

With my first daughter. I had the exact oppisite. She started walking at about 6 1/2 mnths. I actualy got coments, (mostly from older ladies) that I was so cruel making her walk so early. I think she just got sick of being on the floor. But I might add, that although she walked before she was 7mnths, she didn't sit up properly untill nearly 10mnths. It was really quite funny watching her. She would be walking around but as soon as she went to sit down she would lose her balance and lay on her tummy insted.

Trish
Taylah 8yrs
Jacob 6yrs
Ellah 17weeks