Bedsharing query

[Etienne]

Hey everyone, I have a 6 week old DD and she sleeps with dp and I in bed. Lately though when she's a bit unsettled she wants to sleep on me. She was happy with me holding her hand but now she sleeps in the crook of my arm while I sleep half on my side and half on my back. Dp is worried because DD and I basically end up sleeping with our faces touching and with me curled around her. I don't feel like I'll roll onto her etc but would like some reassurance as to whether this is ok/safe.
I love having her this close to me but I'm still unsure I'm doing the right thing :confused:

[shirleysmum]

HI Etienne :wave:

I'm not an expert, but I think mothers are so attuned to their babies that, as long as you are not intoxicated, or on sedating medication, or extremely exhausted, and that your DH is aware of her presence, it is highly unlikely that you would roll on her. I read a book by James McKenna about Safe Co-sleeping ("Sleeping with your baby"), and found it excellent. He still recommends that babies should be placed on their back to reduce the risk of SIDS.

It is a beautiful way for both of you to sleep.

[shinebrite]

I've slept with 3 different dds right up until they were ready for a big bed so like 2-3yrs old... Currently sleeping with dd3 at 3mths. I think you'll find you 'just know' they are there IYKWIM?! I don't roll or move around so it works fine for us.


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Mummie to
Lucy Alys (July '06)
Minnie Audrey (July '09)
Pippi Violet (oct '11)

[peekaboomummy]

I slept with both children like that and both were fine :) never occurred to me to approach it any differently :)

[doglover]

For the first 3 months of his life my son slept on his stomach on top of me as it was the only way he would sleep. It was all fine :)

[jemmajam]

Another one here who co sleeps and have done from day one with DD2 who is now 11weeks, I've always been aware of where she is :) the first 6 weeks the only way she would sleep at all was on me.

[Elijahs Mum]

My DS did that when he was younger, DH used to say every morning he would wake up and DS and I were sound asleep touching noses!! I read somewhere that babies naturally find their mothers face when asleep and breathe in the same pattern as her, perfectly natural!

[Etienne]

My DS did that when he was younger, DH used to say every morning he would wake up and DS and I were sound asleep touching noses!! I read somewhere that babies naturally find their mothers face when asleep and breathe in the same pattern as her, perfectly natural!

That's how I wake with DD, it's so cute :)

[Gypsybum]

Hi I co slept with dd but was very worried at that age too. I never let her sleep in between us as DH felt uneasy so she slept on the side of me and DH was usually on the couch anyway. If you are concerned though you could try swaddling her and then she will feel cuddled and could have a bit a space until you feel more comfortable with it. I know my daughter loved being swaddled, and don't be put off by the initial struggle and crying cause once it's on they feel all secure and calm. Just an idea anyway :) happy cosleeping

[Witwicky]

Given that babies mimic their mother's breathing patterns, I would think it's perfectly safe. Obviously as long as the other safe co-sleeping guidelines are adhered to (no alcohol or drugs, no bedding around baby etc).

How lovely :goodvibes:

[lizzyplus4]

i am currently co-sleeping with my 4th little guy, i love sleeping like this it's so comfey. if you're really worried though, try rolling forward with bubs in the crook of your arm- you can't... it really hurts your shoulder!!:)

[laurea]

I co slept with my babies most of the time. The only baby i didn't co sleep with died of SIDS alone in his cot :( :( So cots don't ness make sids less likely, well not for me anyway.

After losing him i wouldn't leave any subesequent children out of my sight if i could help it at all and found that for me i was very attuned- hyper vigilent even so there was no way i would roll on my baby.

I did buy one of those sleeper things you put in the bed next you to. Can't remember the name but it's so they can lay next to you but have a little copmpartment i will look it up and paste a link. I read that Jamie Oliver used this cute little cot thing that attaches to the side of the bed too and is open on the side against the bed but could also have a screen put up to separate the two. I might even buy one of those they were pretty nifty :goodvibes:

[Witwicky]

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss Laurea :( How devastating :(

I use a side cot as well, as my mattress is not safe for co-sleeping (I have tailbone issues, hence the mattress). My DS is right there but on his own little surface. I have also used to the baby bed for travelling ("close and secure sleeper").

[shinebrite]

Laurea, how devastating :( I nearly lost dd1 at 5wks. She was blue in her bassinette and I hated myself for trying to make her sleep in there :( we don't have a cot, a family bed (older girls have bunks) and a hammock for day sleeps...


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Mummie to
Lucy Alys (July '06)
Minnie Audrey (July '09)
Pippi Violet (oct '11)

[Boobycino]

I'm so sorry laurea :(

Jasper stopped breathing in his bassinet, after that I felt safer sleeping holding him than him sleeping alone.

For more info on safe bed sharing :

http://www.sidsandkids.org/wp-content/uploads/Sleeping-with-Baby.pdf

[laurea]

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[Etienne]

Thanks ladies..Sorry OP didn't mean to hijack your thread, just wanted to give an encopuraging perpective on co sleeping because i feel better with my baby next to me than in a cot in another room.

No worried at all. Thank you for sharing your story :hugs: im truly sorry got your loss x

[Etienne]

Thanks ladies..Sorry OP didn't mean to hijack your thread, just wanted to give an encopuraging perpective on co sleeping because i feel better with my baby next to me than in a cot in another room.

My post didn't show? Will say it again!

No worries laurea! Thank you so much for sharing. I'm truly sorry for your loss x :hugs:

[6fornow]

Hi Ladies,
Out of 6 babies, EJ is my first I have fully co-slept with and I have found my experience to be similar to what you have all said. What Id like to know is, how do you keep them safely in your bed once they can pull themselves to stand and also walk? She started walking at 8 months and since then, she wakes at 5am and pulls herself up on our bedhead. She climbed over a sleeping DH and fell off on his side:( so do you have any tips you could share please? And sorry for drifting from the original question op, just thought Id ask while I was thinking of it :wave:

[Elijahs Mum]

I have toddler rails on one side, the other is at the wall, luckily DS wakes us up when he wakes but at 14 months now I'm not sure how long that will last before he realizes he can escape! A lot of people just have a mattress on the floor which is what we may look into!

[wannaBamumma]

I am a huge advocate for bed sharing/cosleeping! I only wish it had occurred to me earlier to let dd sleep tucked in under my arm as I spent the first 4 months of her life with her sleeping on my chest with me half sat up in bed! My back was so sore but I wanted her to have a good sleep. It only occurred to me when she got a bit bigger to lay her on the bed beside me and curl around her! DUH!! As I type she's fast asleep (horizontally) between dh and I! Luckily we bought a king sized bed so she can stretch out horizontally and we have room to sleep!
Go with your instincts!