Long Weekend Holidays??

[Maxs_MumMy]

Hi everyone, im so confused and any advice is most helpful atm.

My partner has a 10 year school reunion to attend this long weekend and is to be held in coffs harbour which is 5-6 hrs by car from newcastle (depending on hol traffic) and im all fine with that part as he has accepted the invite.

My partner wants max (5mths old) and i to go up with him so he can show max to the rest of his family..ie..my partners grandparents, uncles etc but im not too keen on taking max on hols as yet coz i think his too young, will have to stop at least every 3 hours to feed and change if not more frequent and the trip will drag on like crazy, max is also a very bad reflux baby and everytime is in the car, he spews so bad. The MIL has said to my partner you better bring max or your staying in a hotel..lol..abit rough..
The MIL and FIL have been down every weekend for the past month. 3days at a time and i really dont want to see them again for awhile as we have nothing to talk about and there sending me insane...like we went thru 36 nappies in 48hrs last time she was with max and bathed him 4 times a day..grr..

Basically i would rather let my partner fly up and stay at his parents house or if need be stay in a hotel...leave Max and i at home...but my partner believes i have no case to stand on and this shouldnt be a big deal and just to let max drive up with him and while my partner is out getting drunk let his parents look after max and leave me at home...

what would you guys do????????????????? :confused:

[jamb]

I personally would tell it how it is to your DP. Explain that you do not feel like making the trip with the bub and that you feel he is too young at the moment to be away from you (thats what I say as it is how I feel). To me it is a big deal, ive never been a mum before and had no idea how strongly i would feel, basically at this stage i want my baby near me so i can care for him.

It is not as though his parents have not seen the baby or that you have not been hospitable in the past.

Tell him you are happy for him to go and have a good time. Hopefully he will respect your point of view if you explain your side to him.

I truly believe (and it is bloody hard) there is a need to establish your ground rules early on. I have quite bossy inlaws but i try and assert myself in some way each time and it is getting better slowly. I wont start venting but I am all for standing up for what you want. If they continue to call the shots then there is a chance you may start resenting them and this could interfere with their relationship with your bub.

Good luck and hope you can work out a happy medium.

[jembelina]

You poor thing!! My in laws live less than an hour away and sometimes i can't be bothered packing bub up for that trip :( so I can only imagine how daunting 6 hrs must be!! Personally I wouldn't be happy having bub go without me & wouldn't the car trip be even harder with no one to tend to bub?? That would worry me too. If tehy have seen bub every weekend does it really matter if they miss this one?? I'll probably be struck by lightening by this, but can you pretend bub is unwell ( a bad cold maybe) and use that as excuse not to travel :rolleyes: ? Are you going to end up stuck with the inlaws while hubby is out and about?? Sorry, I'm not being very positive, its just that if I were in your position, I'd be annoyed too. The other option, is to just go. It may not be as bad as you think. If you plan your trip really well so you know when and where you are going to stop in advance, it might even be fun?

SOrry, probably not that helpful, just some food for thought, I guess.

[mollyandkurtsmum]

I think maybe you should go. Maybe all of you could fly up or if you really didnt want to go then let hubby take Max up by himself. The trip may be hell at the time but its nice that your husband is so proud of both you and bubs that he wants to show you off to his family. I know if it was my family I would want my hubby and kids to come.

[Maxs_MumMy]

Thanks for all your advice...i explained all this to my partner and it resulted with him telling me im paranoid, neroctic and that Max isnt too young to travel and i should see councelling for not letting max go.Tears.Why cant men understand? Im hardly with max myself these days as i work full time and study fulltime, His parents have seen max more than me.
His mother apprently went off when he arrived without Max...i dont care...

This morning though i went to go down the street though couldnt as my partner has taken both sets of house keys, garage remotes, my atm card and credit card.so im literally a prisoner in my home until monday night sometime. spent 3hrs in tears.

this all resulted coz i said no max going away with him.
last night he went out drinking, this morning was brekkie, lunch,pub and 2nite is the reuion then tomorow its a bbq, so why would i let max go and be dumped with his parents while his out having fun!!

I didnt wanna go as im sick myself, have uni essays up to my eyes, his friends dont like me as im 21 and there 28-30 age group with no kids,and theres not enough room for at his parents house.

just so hard for me while he doesnt understand???

but thanks gals....

[jamb]

Glad you stood up and did what you wanted but have to say his reaction is extremely controlling to the point it constitutes a form of domestic violence. Be careful for yourself and your son. Would you want him growing up thinking this behaviour towards women is acceptable?

Please please look after yourself.

[Milly]

Maxs_MumMy: This morning though i went to go down the street though couldnt as my partner has taken both sets of house keys, garage remotes, my atm card and credit card.so im literally a prisoner in my home until monday night sometime. spent 3hrs in tears.

Goodness, this is a real worry. He took all of your access things with him? Does he not trust you? That is quite a concern and does not sound very healthy at all. Is he always like this if you cannot do something?

I hope that everyhing is okay. I too would do as MummaJack suggested and please look after yourself & your son. There are some worrying signs in your partner's behaviour there.

Hope that you are going to be okay.

[draught]

This morning though i went to go down the street though couldnt as my partner has taken both sets of house keys, garage remotes, my atm card and credit card.so im literally a prisoner in my home until monday night sometime. spent 3hrs in tears.

this all resulted coz i said no max going away with him.


I agree with the other posts that this behaviour is worrying. What if something happened to Max and you needed to get to a doctor or hospital? He may think that he is "getting his own back" but it sounds dangerously selfish, controlling and immature. He is not thinking of his son's welfare at all in his bid to punish you and this is not a good sign at all. Good on you for saying no to something you didn't want to do, but be careful that this doesn't lead to a bad pattern. Perhaps when he comes home it is time to explain to your partner that what he did was dangerous and that he needs to put Max's needs first.

I too hope that you are going to be okay. Do you have family/friends close by who can support you over the weekend?

[Maxs_MumMy]

my partner's reactions shocked me as well dont you worry....my partner has always been the very opposite of this...like his always respected my wishes, never taken anything from me and always pretty much given me the world, thats why im finding it very hard to understand why has he done this to me???

its a very out of the blue thing...

thank you to all for your kind msgs....ill be ok, its very boring at home though...i would never wanna go to goal..this is horrible..lol...

no family as im orig from Melbourne, friends have all gone away for the w.e...so v lonely...sighs....

Today has dragged big time........

my partner hasnt msged or rung once!!! which again is unlike him....

[razzle]

...my partner has taken both sets of house keys, garage remotes, my atm card and credit card.so im literally a prisoner in my home until monday night sometime...

That is SO irresponsible, selfish and downright dangerous. What if Max (or you) gets sick? Please - make sure you have a spare set of keys hidden somewhere and maybe a small stash of cash in case it happens again.