Need help with our 13 month old

[Gypsybum]

I have a very spirited little girl but she just won't sleep!! We are all tearing our hair out and we need help!
She co slept with us until approx 12 months when I felt it just wasn't working anymore for any of us. She was waking all night and crawling all over me keeping all awake.
I thought I would just try her in her cot and she has really taken to it. More often than not she will sleep through but other times she is awake alot and I sit with her in her room until she falls back asleep.
She has started crying alot and is very hard to get to sleep. She will just cry non stop in our arms and I don't know how to solve this. When I give up and take her out of her room she just starts talking etc so there is nothing wrong with her. I have tried laying down on our bed with her too but she just wants to get up and go walking around the house even at 12am when I have been trying to put her to sleep since 8!! Its really taking it's toll as she hasn't slept well at all since birth.

I am happy to rock her to sleep but she is getting so big now and is so fidgety. What do I do? Please help as the only advice I get from anyone else is just let her cry in her cot otherwise she'll never learn.
First child here so no idea what I'm doing or what the future holds!!

Thanks:)

[trina2706]

Do you have a bedtime routine with her? We have a strict one with 15 month old DS - bath, brush teeth, dressed, brush hair, read book, turn on his music player and into bed. He'll do whatever he can to distract from this of course but ultimately he knows this is his bedtime and he needs to go sleep.

Also, how does she nap during the day? DS is on one nap a day (11-1ish) Any naps after 3 play havoc with his bedtime as he's not tired enough...

[Laksa]

Oh that sounds hard!
Both my kids woke a lot at night until they were over 2 but they were happy for me to lay with them or breastfeed or hop into my bed. The few times they woke and stayed awake killed me! So tiring :(

Hopefully she will grow out of it soon.

[Gypsybum]

Thanks girls laksa yeah it's hard alright!! Trina we do have a routine but it's obviously not strict enough! I started a new one tonight like you suggested and it only took bout 45 mins. I guess she'll learn. Was wondering though if you rock your boy to sleep? I have tried putting her down awake many times and she just screams and I can't see her just laying down and going to sleep. Last night we were holding her and she still got so worked up she puked! At what age do you stop rocking to sleep?
Also how much sleep does he get at night? I can't figure her out whether she needs more or less sleep. She doesn't seem to sleep enough over night if you ask me but I can't make her go back to sleep in the morn( once I tried and I sat there from 5.30 til 8.30! Then I gave up and just got up for the day!) she usually goes to sleep at 8.30pm and lately is up at 4.30-5. Not a good hour for me! Then she has a couple of naps but I think she is very grizzly all day because she doesn't sleep enough but I don't know how to make her if she won't!!

Oh and she's defiantly being cheeky cos after dinner me and DH were talking about her bath and she started talking to get out into her play room which she has never done ever! I think she new bedtime was coming and she wanted to pretend it wasn't!! So funny:)

Thanks for the advice I'll let you know how we go.

[trina2706]

Cheeky monkeys they are! DS will always, always try and drag out his bedtime. We read him one book and one book only before putting him in his cot but he'll always try and point and try to get us to read a 2nd one anyway. I admire his persistence!

I haven't rocked DS to sleep for months - he's wayyyyy too heavy and also too fidgety for that. I've actually tried a couple of times when he's been unwell and really upset but even then he won't have a bar of it. It just seems to make him even more upset if anything because I can't really manage to hold him that comfortably. Generally if he cries at night I'll go in, turn on his musical lullaby player and just sit next to his cot and rub his belly until he calms down. When he's calm I'll leave the room at which point he might protest whimper for a minute but then usually goes quiet. He very rarely gets hysterical unless he's either really overtired, teething or going through a wonder week. Made me sad to read DD screamed till she was ill, how horrible for you both! Perhaps it could actually be overtiredness, teething or a wonder week?

As for how much he sleeps, DS wakes around 6am at which point I bring him into bed with me for an hour or so - sometimes I'll be lucky enough to have him go back to sleep for an hour or so ... which is bliss! Usually up for the day around 7am anyway. Then by 11ish he'll be looking tired again so he'll have a nap until 1.30ish (at the latest!) Then he's awake until bedtime. We usually bath him just before 7pm so he's in bed by 7.30pm, asleep by 8pm at the latest all going well. So he's getting about 11 hours sleep overnight and 2 hours sleep during the day. No idea if this is 'normal' or not but it works for us! You could try pulling her bedtime forward a bit earlier, especially if she's not napping a lot during the day. 8pm might be a bits little late for her, hence some overtiredness is kicking in?