Starting a group

[electra68]

Well I unsubscribed and ignored the posts sent to my email. Which was a good idea. But then I got some advice from a helpful woman on another thread. She totally understood this situation and told me to start a group, which I have. That way I can weed out the people I don't want to talk to. I have started an invite only group. *text removed by moderator*
I have sent an invite to other women who use this thread. I think I have missed some. Please pm me if you want to be a part. You have to be:

a) Childless and not by choice.
b) At the end of the fertility journey. And for those people who need clarification of what this means
i. You don't have frosties in the fridge
ii. You are not planning any donor cycles and are not looking for a donor.
iii. You are not considering any more IVF or ICA.
iv. You are not considering any other technology that I have not yet heard of for fertility.
c) You are not going to have children. Full stop.

Are we clear on this?

Good.

Here is the link.

http://www.bubhub.com.au/community/forums/group.php?groupid=231

[Buttoneska]

Hey there

I am not sure where I fit, I used to think I was part of the Childless Not ByChoice, but since everyone has gotten so angry over the whole thing I really don't know.

I would like to join but would like to get some opinions of whether I am allowed.


I am childless not by choice
I have never done IVF/fertitility treatment and we have made the decision that we never will
I will still love to have kids and we are not using contraception so I can't say I will never ever have kids

[jackie7]

Thanks very much to the member who suggested this to you Electra

[veve]

I think the group is an awesome idea Electra..

I have now also started a passworded area - if you wish to access that (as well as your social group?) just let me know.

ta
Jen

[electra68]

Thanks, Buttoneska and unlike others you have been very polite with your request. Firstly, the reason everyone is getting angry- and by that I know I have been- is because some of the stuff coming out of peoples mouths is so condescending I cannot believe it. And it is constant! So you can imagine that if we have to deal with people prying into our business in public life, you get pretty sick of it. The sort of comments left by people here would be called trolling on other sites.
In order to answer your question about whether or not you would be suitable, let me try to clarify what sort of things I believe childless-not-by-choice (CNBC) would like to talk about. If I may speak on behalf of everyone. I would like to find a place to discuss with other women in my position who have to deal with tactless things strangers and friends say all the time- ironic that I had to deal with it here also. How to deal with social isolation of everyone falling pg around you and socialising with kids and you are left out. Things like that. What I don't want to talk about with people is the possibility of them having kids and how and when it would happen. Or how they would go about it. For me it is never going to happen. I have entirely different things to discuss then, because the door is closed.
By all means, I am happy to talk to you about dealing with being CNBC- but if you wish to talk about whether or not you will fall pg then my group is not for you. That is the distinction that I feel alot of women here don't get.
So I willl leave it up to you as to whether or not you feel this group is for you. Have a think and let me know.

[electra68]

Thanks Jenny. Can you let me know what criteria meets the password area? I have had some pretty awful experiences in this section. Some people are making out that they are Childless-not-by-choice and you find out, lo and behold, they have a fridge full of frosties, or they are going to a counsellor to find out how to actually have kids. If you don't mind me asking, how are you screening them?

[veve]

electra the passworded area has been set up so that it can be more moderated regarding who would have access, and what stage of their journey they are at.

This is of course a parenting forum - so the majority of people on here are either parents, or are people who are trying to become parents, all other aspects of the forum (such as social issues, pets, politics) are all simply extension areas for people to chat in .. but primarily this site is (obviously) about parenting.

The childless by not by choice area was set up for people who have come to the conclusion of their journey to try to have kids - but having said that, we simply can not restrict who can and cant post in this area as strictly as that, because circumstances do change (I know someone who has frosties that have been there for over 4 years, but she is still childess - so while she isn't 100% sure she has finished her journey, she would still absolutely qualify to vent her frustrations in this area).

I'm happy for the passworded area to be only for those people who have definitely finished their journey - who aren't looking at further options - which would leave the general childless- NBC area for people who ARE without child, but still considering options, and feel the need to vent their emotions/ look for support in this area.

I hope that makes sense? It kinda splits the area into two - but also ensures that the passworded area would be free of 'accidental' posts by others, and non-googleable.

As I've stated earlier - this area is still evolving, and being edited/ set up / changed - so its flexible, so more changes may occur.

I hope that answers your question.

[Buttoneska]

sounds good to me Veve! I would be happy to leave the password protected area to those who definately at the end of the journey and post in teh CNBC section when I feel I need some support.

Thanks for trying to accomodate us all adn also create a safe place for those women who wish to talk to only ppl who will never have children.

:hugs: