What's your night time routine look like with 2+?

[BabushkaMumma]

With DD3 coming in Jan, I really haven't had the energy to really make major changes to DD2's (2.5 years) nighttime routine of:

Bath with DH
Books with DH / PJ's on
Breastfeed (about 15 - 20 mins, 30 mins max or she's just fluffing ;))
Then some more fluffing, chatting about the day, patting off to sleep on the
the mattress on our floor.

This usually starts at 6/6:30pm with the bath and generally I walk out of the room closer to 8pm. Include maybe 1 night waking now at 3am with loud requests then protests for milk, and then up for the day with a loud 'look it's the sun - time for milk' at 5am. Despite blockouts. That's another thread though..:laughing:

Now, I actually don't want to change this aspect, I am happy to continue down this little path for DD2 until she goes into her own room one day or it just changes on her own accord...

But - it's poor little DD3 that we have to accommodate...I'll have to include a feed before bed (and it's always the loooonnnngest one too) which I am hoping to make 7:00pm - which would mean then usually a 6pm start time...

Here's what I am *hoping* in my naive little mind will happen :D:

Before or around 6pm:
- DH baths, reads books and changes DD2, starts nighttime process (e.g, lights out, cuddles, chats, etc)
- I help bath DD3, take her out early, change her, start feeding her in the lounge / another dark room, settle her for bed and then put her in a bassinet in another room
DH / I swap - I go in and finish nighttime routine, if that's a feed, a little pat off and DH can watch DD3 incase she wakes up again, needs to be rocked etc to sleep...

Tell me, What do you do with your 2+ little ones when you spend considerable time putting one or both of them to bed? Could you share your little nighttime routine with me? THANKS!

[Mrs Molly Coddle]

I won't lie. It was difficult for DS to adjust with DD's arrival. He was used to falling asleep on me in bed, and we eventually worked out a way that I could feed DD laying down whilst DS fell asleep on my arm. When possible, DH would rock the baby to sleep while I took care of DS. Otherwise, I would have one on either side- feeding DD on one side and DS laying on my arm the other way. Not good for my back, but I survived. When DS turned 3 (DD was 6months old), he decided to start sleeping in his own bed but we still share a room. DD is 11 months now and DS usually goes to sleep in our bed then we move him, but he knows it's coming so he doesn't mind. DD goes to sleep late, about 11-12pm and DS 8-8:30. DH and I take turns usually as they keep each other up.

So at the moment -
6-6:30 dinner
7-7:30 I take DS for a shower or bath while DH has DD.
8 - story and bed. DH and I take it in turns usually but he would prefer me.
DH and I both go to bed with DD :)

Your plan sounds realistic and I think it will work well. Our major issue was that DS is very attached to me and DH has never really been a major part of bed time. It's not for lack of trying; it's just DS' nature. Also, DH was away half the week until DD was about 8 months old which made it more difficult. DS still prefers me to take him to bed but we can get away with DH doing it

[BabushkaMumma]

Thanks for your experiences :) I have to say we're the same here, DD is very attached to me but is gradually letting DH have more of a part of putting her to bed, so that's good.

Where would you put DD while you watching TV or just spending time at night before she fell asleep? (Did she actually fall asleep that late - or you guys would bring her into bed when you did?)...

[Areca]

Well when it was DD1 and DD2 came along we'd put DD1 in to bed with the hall light on and give her a bunch of books and she'd read them to herself until I got DD2 to sleep and then I'd go and lie with DD1.
We did baths, then dinner, then stories together. Sometimes, when DD1 was a bit older and could be quiet (she was 21 months when DD2 was born so too little at that stage) she'd sit next to me and breastfeed her baby while we watched tv in the dark and we'd put our babies to bed and then I'd put DD1 to bed.

I'm on my own for the night time routine but if DH was home (on the weekend) he took care of DD1 and I took care of DD2.

[Bambibambino]

I have a 2 year old ds and a 4 month old dd. I bath DD first at about 5:30pm and dress and feed her and usually pat her to sleep if she needs help going off while Dh baths ds and I then get on with the nighttime ritual with him. Putting the littley to bed first definately works best in our house :goodvibes:

On a side note I night weaned ds when I was about 4 months pg and am soooooo glad I did (shortterm pain lol). I still feed him morning, nap and bedtime. I am totally wrecked getting up with DD overnight even though she sleeps pretty well and don't think I could have functioned with him night feeding as well.

[BabushkaMumma]

Well when it was DD1 and DD2 came along we'd put DD1 in to bed with the hall light on and give her a bunch of books and she'd read them to herself until I got DD2 to sleep and then I'd go and lie with DD1.
We did baths, then dinner, then stories together. Sometimes, when DD1 was a bit older and could be quiet (she was 21 months when DD2 was born so too little at that stage) she'd sit next to me and breastfeed her baby while we watched tv in the dark and we'd put our babies to bed and then I'd put DD1 to bed.

I'm on my own for the night time routine but if DH was home (on the weekend) he took care of DD1 and I took care of DD2.

That's a good idea letting DD1 wind down in the room by herself while you were busy with DD2.. I think that will work for us once we move her into her own room until her first true wake for the night (usually now at 3/4am).. How sweet the both of you feeding together..DD would be so into that!!

[BabushkaMumma]

I have a 2 year old ds and a 4 month old dd. I bath DD first at about 5:30pm and dress and feed her and usually pat her to sleep if she needs help going off while Dh baths ds and I then get on with the nighttime ritual with him. Putting the littley to bed first definately works best in our house :goodvibes:

On a side note I night weaned ds when I was about 4 months pg and am soooooo glad I did (shortterm pain lol). I still feed him morning, nap and bedtime. I am totally wrecked getting up with DD overnight even though she sleeps pretty well and don't think I could have functioned with him night feeding as well.

I think I'm leaning towards putting hr youngest to bed first - something very similar to your night time routine..

I need to early morning wean DD I think...I don't know if it contributes to her very early waking for the day (around 5) but when she wakes, I feed her in the hope she'll sleep some more like she used to - but it doesn't work anymore!!!

I need the energy though to do it, and this late in the pregnancy, I'm finding it harder to find the motivation!!

[Mrs Molly Coddle]

Thanks for your experiences :) I have to say we're the same here, DD is very attached to me but is gradually letting DH have more of a part of putting her to bed, so that's good.

Where would you put DD while you watching TV or just spending time at night before she fell asleep? (Did she actually fall asleep that late - or you guys would bring her into bed when you did?)...

She still goes to bed very late. It's 1:15am now and she's only just gone to sleep! Ah! We just carry her around with us or she hangs out on the floor doing her thing. When she was younger, usually DH would hold her and watch Telly or read while I tidied up or whatever I needed to do. It's quite lovely! Then the three of us go to bed together when she is tired. She sleeps between DH and I in our bed. She doesn't have a bed/cot/bassinet. Before DS started sleeping in his bed, I slept between the two kids and DH slept in a single bed on his own most of the time!

[Mrs Molly Coddle]

Ideally, our two would both go to bed at about the same time but DD at 11 months will not have a bar of it. We live in a one bedroom granny flat with no bedroom door, so if one is asleep, we just do whatever we can to keep the other happy! For DD that's pottering around until midnight with us.

(sooooo tired ! ;))

[BabushkaMumma]

Bumping this as we're now living it and struggling.

I'm still feeding the toddler to bed, and it's now taking me more than an hour to sit here with her (not feeding the whole time, a lot of the time is spent "winding down" which involves talking, attempting gymnastics all over the bed and the usual fluff tactics) and my little baby is in DHs arms, a little unsettled and not ready for bed...

I need to focus on baby during the witching / cluster feeding times as I'm up for a couple of hours from 3am as she catches up on her feeds there...

Would love to revisit some other people's ideas!??

[One of THOSE mums!]

It is really hard to calm and wind down one with a baby! I have a two year old and 5 month old and we have found a routine that seems to work for us.
We do dinner by 6 -6:30 then bath for both with Dad (while I clean the kitchen yay!)
Then it's pjs and ds1 picks his toy he wants to take to bed.
Kisses and cuddles for the family (we have extended family living with us at the moment).
Df puts ds1 to bed. Then I take ds2 in and they say good night to each other (well ds2 dribbles on ds1). This is the most important time of the night. Ds1 seems content that he isn't missing out on anything when ds2 is getting ready for bed.
I then bf ds2 and he snuggles in bed until he falls asleep them he goes into his bassinet.
I try to be flexible, because there are always just bad nights, or df comes home late. But I try to maintain the little things.
Consistency is what works for us. It also helps that ds1 self weaned while I was utd with ds2.

[higgleandgoot]

Bath time around 4pm, unless we're having a messy dinner. In that case, I do dinner a bit earlier to make sure they still go to bed usual time. I try to have dinner ready between 5-5:30. Wash up quickly whilst they're eating (usually eat mine after, or when they're in bed). Then clean up after them, get Nappies, milk etc ready.. Put on abc 4 kids. Brush teeth, then put DD in bed just after 6pm. And then go tidy up a bit and take DS to bed around 6:30pm for story time.
It was a struggle when DD was a newborn, but after 3-4 months, I recognized a routine we had that worked. Our days aren't overly "structured" but bed time is always the same. Unless we go out somewhere for dinner etc..

[Confusedmum12]

For us with ds who is 28 months it is:

Dinner 5:30-6pm

Bath 6:30pm

Have a last run and play (he needs it lol)

Bed 7-7:30 with a milk and a story.

[kingyo]

Bumping this as we're now living it and struggling.

I'm still feeding the toddler to bed, and it's now taking me more than an hour to sit here with her (not feeding the whole time, a lot of the time is spent "winding down" which involves talking, attempting gymnastics all over the bed and the usual fluff tactics) and my little baby is in DHs arms, a little unsettled and not ready for bed...

I need to focus on baby during the witching / cluster feeding times as I'm up for a couple of hours from 3am as she catches up on her feeds there...

Would love to revisit some other people's ideas!??

BabushkaMumma I am so glad to see you have come back to update how you're finding the transition!

I had DS2 on the 9th of Jan and the night time routine with two (DD turned 2 the same day he was born) was the biggest 'how on earth will I do it!?' question I pondered while pregnant! (DS1 is a teenager so at least he's sorted)

First step we have done is getting DP used to putting DD to bed. It has always been my thing as she was breatfed to sleep until I was 5 months pg (we all co-sleep). I went into labour 5 weeks early and stayed in hospital for 7 days so they just both had to quickly get used to a new routine! Its working most of the time although she will almost always try the 'fluffing' for him whereas with me it's 3 books, must be lying down, etc and then sleep.

So at the moment either of us do all or part of the night routine depending on whether the baby is sleeping or feeding.
However DP goes back to work in 10 days and then most weeknights it will be just me and them.

So I'm desperately looking for positive stories about people juggling two alone!

[mmy2b]

Hmm that's hard. I don't breastfeed my older two anymore so daddy mostly takes care of them. Is there any chance you could feed new bubba while patting your toddler? Or would this just make her jealous/want more of a feed? What about pushing her bed time back a little so you can feed bubba first then daddy can try settle bubba?

[BabushkaMumma]

Thanks for everyone's newest replies..

It's been an interesting couple of weeks, of adjustments, of some pretty hairy times and some lovely times!

Just today I managed to feed my littlest to sleep for a nap, while my toddler patiently waited and I fed her to sleep. Mind you they were all over me so that I couldn't nap - but at least they both did. That was a massive win for me today.

Slowly our nights are coming together. Baby has only started to cluster feed, so she has feed / cat nap / feed from about 4pm with bed time being 6pm with last milk then.

Then there's bathing toddler and then I start putting her to bed at around 7pm, asleep by 8pm.
I've started to say she can only have one side so that my other side replenishes its supply in time for feeding the baby at her next waking.

The tandem feeding is going well - and it's worked to keep my supply at much more reduced levels than I'd had the first time and actually my toddler has put on some weight again due to the increased supply which is great as she doesn't have dairy and lost quite a bit of weight (equivalent to my newborn) so I'm quite happy about that. She does have an increased desire for it too - so that's quite hard in dealing with the persistent requests!! But that's another thread!

It's coming together slowly but we have a visitor with us for 6 weeks so it does mean interruptions and stuff, which is frustrating, but we couldn't avoid it :(

So its going ok, certainly moving into a routine that looks like working, but will need some tweaking for sure as toddler isn't eating well at dinner due to all the interruptions so we need to find something that works for all aspects....