Leaving our co-sleeping toddler with grandparents [Archive]

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Lil M

14-12-2011, 21:11

Our 25 month old currently co sleeps with me (or DF) for at least half, sometimes most of the night, starts off in the cot, then comes into our bed as soon as he wakes in the night.

Anyway, DF & I are getting married in Jan & going on honeymoon for 4 nights without DS. My parents will be looking after him, they know we co sleep & are happy do so, but I've now read that babysitters/caregivers should not co sleep, only the parents. Now I''m not sure if I should tell my Mum to try & re settle him if he wakes or put him in her bed????:confused:

mummykitty

14-12-2011, 21:17

Both my co sleepers stayed with my mum :) and no issues she didn't co sleep but resettled :) I'd have a few trial overnights before it's a necessity mostly kids learn different house different rules just arm them with positive resettling techniques :)

rainbow road

14-12-2011, 21:18

mummykitty

14-12-2011, 21:21

I think it would depend on the age too :)

Witwicky

14-12-2011, 21:23

At that age I probably wouldn't be bothered if DS coslept with his Grandparents, but it's not something I would allow if he was much younger. But that's ME, and what is comfortable for me - if it doesn't sit well with you then I second Mummykitty in making sure they are armed with gentle resettling techniques.

Otherwise, would he sleep better in a portacot right next to their bed, like a sidecar?

Witwicky

14-12-2011, 21:25

Why shouldn't babysitters/caregivers co-sleep?

When I overnight with the various kids I look after, if anyone wakes up in the night, they usually crawl into bed with me :yes:

Parents know, all are fine with it...better than trying to settle a kid who has woken up wanting mummy or daddy and only gets me...at least if they hop into bed with me, they are sleeping in mummy and daddy's bed and can smell their parents and such...

Interesting...

I'm assuming it has something to do with the parent being more instinctive of their child. However i'm fine with it if said child is a toddler - I would never allow my baby to co-sleep with someone else though. It might also have something to do with parents being more 'aware' of how to co-sleep safely (i.e.: a parent is more likely to know that blankets/alcohol/medication is a no-no, whereas a grandparent might think nothing of it).

FloatingFairy

14-12-2011, 22:39

I think at that age it should be fine.

We used to sleep this way but it got to a point where she was waking earlier and earlier and during working weeks, I dont care, she's the most gorgeous thing in the world and I love sleeping with her.

But when I had to cut my cocktail night short by 10pm the other night because DD would NOT go back to sleep....I figured it was time for a change haha

But we still do a little co sleep in the morning when she wakes.......the two weeks after I got out of hospital just recently while my mum was there for a week and my bestie for a week to help me take care of DD, each morning when DD woke up, they went in, took her out of the cot and went back to their bed with her.

AS long as you trust the grandparents (being your own parents, I assume you do) then I think it'd be fine.

I guess its what you're comfortable with.

I'd rather they do that as the easy out then spend all night getting frustrated at my DD because they're sleep deprived and can't handle that high pitched annoying and super duper heartbreaking scream she does if not settled the way she wants LOL

Hope you have a great wedding and honeymoon :bee:

Elijahs Mum

14-12-2011, 22:43

My mum and 14 month DS have a "nana nap" together every Monday afternoon when she minds him, no problems, as a pp said maybe a newborn I wouldn't but a toddler should be fine, have an overnight test run before you go :)

chicken and eggs mum

14-12-2011, 22:56

My mum looked after dd, then 14 months when I had her sister, as I would, when she woke in the middle
Of the night, she snuggled her back
To sleep
And they both dozed till
Morning!!! :-)

I guess if caregivers are comfy with it and it
Makes the process easier then do it!!

Boobycino

14-12-2011, 23:10

I think that the reason that carers/grandparents shouldn't cosleep with babies is they are less likely to be as in tune with baby and stuff. (so the worry is SIDS/suffocation related)

But at 2, if your happy & they are happy I see no issue.

Jasper (who's 3) cosleeps with my mum all the time. Im not even sure where he would sleep if he didn't sleep in her bed, or at what age that stops working. I think she does have a spare single mattress she could pull out in a couple of years maybe.

Pippy the Hippo

14-12-2011, 23:17

mummykitty

14-12-2011, 23:22

Ask if they'll room share or set up a suitable alternative :)

Witwicky

14-12-2011, 23:41

If they weren't willing, I would ask them to room share with the cot as close to the bed as possible. If they didn't wish to do that, then I suppose re-settling using gentle methods. If they weren't willing to do that, then my child wouldn't be staying with them :)

Myztik

14-12-2011, 23:42

Mum looks after the kids here so she either sleeps in my bed with DS3 or on the couch... She always chooses the bed :p

Bel0v3d

14-12-2011, 23:45

I have no issues with co-sleeping.....

But what do you do if the grandparents or care givers are not willing to co-sleep? How do you get around that hurdle?!! Do you just hope they will be alright on their own?

Its a genuine question, and I am truly not trying to insult any co-sleepers as I think it's a beautiful thing :bee:

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I have the same question plus I wouldn't allow it with the in laws as FIL is very overweight an wouldn't trust him to be aware.

DS co sleeps with my mum but she is single so there is not the concern of and extra body in the bed I dont trust.

Boobycino

15-12-2011, 07:28

My inlaws weren't willingly wanting to cosleep. They knew jasper coslept from birth, begged to baby sit him all the time, but didn't grasp no you can't have him overnight when I KNOW he won't sleep for you! So I did mostly say no because why would I put jasper or them through that.

A few times I did let them have him, MIL just banged on and on about how he wouldn't sleep, how every time she put him back in the cot he woke up etc... Umm yeah kinda figured that would happen. So I wouldn't let them have him for a few more months. This is after 1 year so I figured they can't do too much damage for one night & I knew she would jump to him at the first squeak, so it's really her choice to be insanely tired.

FINALLY & sadly the last time she baby sat before we moved interstate she proudly announced he slept all night! Because *drum roll* she'd slept with him all night. :eek:

mim1

15-12-2011, 07:52

I wouldn't be worried at age 2, assuming the adult didn't drink alcohol to excess or take sedating medication before bed.

My mum has done lots of looking after our ds and at that age he was often co-sleeping with her for some of the afternoon (nap time) or night time (if he stayed over). Mostly though he slept in a cot & Mum slept in the room next door. As others have said he did well at learning the 'rules' of Grandma's house and accepted the differences pretty well. We didn't co-sleep much at home at that age but we did do a few things a bit differently.

Lil M

15-12-2011, 11:50

Thanks everyone, Mum & Dad will be looking after him at our house (they live overseas & will be staying with us for 12 weeks) so we'll have a trial run a few days before we go. There's a single bed in DS's room so we could put that next to the cot as a side car, see if that works too.:)