understanding.....

[sueliz]

I am not sure if it is the 'right' thing for me to post this here, so if it is not, I do apologise.
I am a first time mum with a 7 month old baby boy who is mainly breastfed. When I was pregnant, and when DS was first born, I never understood why mothers who were unable to breastfeed for personal reasons, physical reasons or basiically any reasons that is really no ones business but theirs anyway, would often feel so guilty - until my DS was about 5/6 months old when I didn't have enough breast milk to feed him of a night. Then I felt all manners of guilt come down on me like a tonne of bricks! I thought it was my own pride that was stopping him from having a full belly - that I was getting frustrated that suddenly he was SCREAMING at 2.00am in the morning and only feeding him would settle despite the fact he dropped the 2.00am feed ages ago when really it was my own fault he was hungry, that he had a sore belly because he was on solids and needed more fluid to help him poop and I just didn't have enough to do this for him.
Then when I gave him his first nightly formula feed as suggested by my wonderful GP and he was so much happier - I felt so guilty for not doing it sooner! It seems when it came to my guilt - I just couldn't win.
It was then that I could only begin to appreciate what so many of you had been through. I honestly had no idea - and I know I still do not fully comprehend it, but thank you for sharing your stories - you actually all really helped me deal with what I was feeling, (particular thanks to my SIL on this who really helped me with her support!) and learn just to really enjoy my happy and healthy baby - who loves his formula so much that he cried in the parents room the other day when I was giving him a BF because he saw the baby next to him getting a bottle!

[SamanthaJane]

I think it is often just the "You don't know till it happens to you" sorta thing... but even then, some people don't see it.

For instance, i deal with a lot of cr@p about being a young mum (mostly from strangers) and a lot of people (i find it to be older women in particular) say "Don't worry about what they think" or "Its all just in your head"... But trust me, it isn't... you know when something is giving you a nasty glare, and umm it's kinda obvious they don't approve when they say "You are ruining your life and this baby's life"....Ouch! :( All i can say is, often people are just way too quick to judge. Unless you've been in the situation, or you have taken the time to REALLY think about the other side, then you can't possibly understand it.

I am planning on bottle feeding my baby. But I don't feel guilty about that decision at all, because i know for certain that i don't want to try BF and i know that this will be best for me and baby. If i'm stressing out because i find BF so uncomfortable (for personal reasons) then what good is that doing for my baby? Me resenting her everytime she cries for a feed also - what good is that doing for her?

That said, i know most women who do bottle feed feel guilty about that, and I'm sick of other people making others feel guilty about their choices... Some people really should just get a life and stop worrying about how other people are feeding their babies and just focus on their own child. We are all just doing the best we can.

[sueliz]

I think it is often just the "You don't know till it happens to you" sorta thing... but even then, some people don't see it.



You just summed up in one sentence what I was trying to say in my ramble!! I am with you too in that I never understood why women felt guilty because I honestly thought that they shouldn't - they are just doing what is best for their bubs. And themselves - which is so very important.

[SamanthaJane]

:yes: :yes:

Just don't ever feel guilty about what you are doing for your bub. You are a great mother just doing the best you can, and that is all that matters !!! :hugs: