Is what Im feeling 'normal' or could it be something more??

[KandBs Mumma]

I am 4weeks post partum and I have all of a sudden become this horrible person!

I am tired, upset, grumpy, overwhelmed and snappy.
I have smacked my 15mo DD on the hand (for touching the oven while it was hot after I moved her several times and said no...) I have sent DP to the spare room a number of times because I felt he wasnt helping me, but he was I just was being ignorant, I have left my house a bomb site for days which isnt like me at all, I have wanted to just walk away from it all and never go back, I have locked DD in her room (with a safety gate) so I can have just a few moments alone, I cry nearly every day, I cry when I growl my DD, I cry for no reason, I cant sleep, I snap at DP for nothing at all it seems like something at the time but its not, I have even snapped at him for not answering my call while he was driving or texting me back fast enough, I dont want to see friends, I dont want to go out without DP, I dont want to spend time with DD and am sick of looking after DS while he wont sleep and cries, and the list goes on

I just feel like Im losing it. I dont want to be this person anymore. I remember my mum being like this when my brother was a baby (I was 10) and my mum and I dont have a good relationship at all.

I want to be a happy mum who enjoys her children and takes them to the park and on outings etc I dont want to smack or growl or cry like I have been.

Is this normal or something more?

[lil miss]

First of all... (((((hugs)))))

I recommend seeing someone tbh. It does sound like you could have PND. I think it is great you are aware that something is not right, that can often be the hardest step to take.

I suffered severe PND after the birth of my DD1, to the point I almost took both our lives. If you want someone to talk to, feel free to pm me xxoo

Again, sending you lots of (((((hugs))))).


Sent from my iPad using Bub Hub app

[MuminMind]

Hi Jess14.

I'm very sorry to hear that you are having a difficult time at the moment, and I think those of us who have experienced PND (and perhaps a lot of others, too) can identify with the emotions you are going through.

I'm sorry that I only saw your thread now; this section of the forum don't get that many posts about PND, whereas the expression section of the forum does; so I tend to check for new posts there, first and foremost. Here is the link to that area of the main forum.
http://www.bubhub.com.au/community/forums/forumdisplay.php?302-Postnatal-depression

There is a lot of information about PND in there, check out this link for ‘sticky’ threads with resources about perinatal depression.
http://www.bubhub.com.au/community/forums/forumdisplay.php?79-General-depression-and-blues

(http://www.bubhub.com.au/community/forums/forumdisplay.php?79-General-depression-and-bluesLastly)I would urge you to talk to your GP and get some help now; the sooner your mental health needs are addressed, the better the outcome is likely to be. If you are reluctant to go on ADs there are other treatment options that might be helpful in your situation, such as natural remedies, counselling, attending support groups, etc. There might also be other services in your community which can be helpful for you in this time.

You could also call PANDA. (Post and Antenatal Depression Association - Call 1300 726 306) PANDA's telephone information, support and referral service is staffed by trained volunteers, professional counsellors and supervising staff. Most of these volunteers on the helpline have experienced perinatal depression and anxiety. PANDA also has a large database with a lots of information about perinatal support services in the community. I really recommend that you give them a call and ask what exists in your area.

I also want to mention a private discussion area in here, for people who have past or present experience with PND/AND.

If you go to the forum overview/main section and scroll down you will find the section with the heading Not happy? Emotional health issues area and click on the Depression section, you can scroll down and will see a sub-section called Private Discussion Area
Use the requested password
Once inside the area, you can subscribe to the sub-section to ensure that you always get an email whenever a new thread is started in there. To do that, click on the orange RSS button and follow the on-screen instructions. Because access to the new section is restricted, posts made in there will not appear in new posts and won't be indexed by google, etc.

The discussion area has been a really great success so far. It is a really supportive space full of intelligent, funny, understanding and supportive ladies who have experiences with PND and/or AND. We agree that talking privately with others in a similar situation has been really therapeutic and positive for us, and I would love to see you in there, for some extra support.

Please look after yourself. :hugs:

[MuminMind]

Sorry; I should add that I am sorry about making assumptions about you having PND. I am just so used to "preaching" about it on the forum that I always recommend PANDA and the PND/AND Private Discussion Area.

I still think that it would be beneficial for you to speak to your GP about how you are feeling, and to do some research into PND; also talk to loved ones, to hopefully put in place additional support.

Please let me know if there is anything I can do for you.

:hugs:

[KandBs Mumma]

Thanks for your replies.
I will look into the forum you mentioned muminmind. Thanks

[MuminMind]

I'll pm you the password now. :)

[chicken and eggs mum]

This is where I was only a year ago, witha newborn and a 14 month old... I wasnt the parent I wanted to be or who I thought I should be.... Dh and I fought like nothing else and were ready to split up......

It has been a long road.....

Pm me if you want.

[Karatate]

I'm feeling exactly the same way as you and im glad I'm not the only one going through it all. I have a 3yo and a 6yo too I'm battling with.

[angelicblue]

I'm back on Bubhub after being away for a couple of years. I first joined when pregnant with DD, now 3.

As sad it is to hear these stories it is comforting to know, I am not alone.

I suffered PND after my first DD. I went to councelling through my GP and was also put on antidepressants (pristiq), which I have gone from 200mg a day (at my worst) to now just 50mg every second day.

Till now I have been in a happy place, however after losing a baby at just 12 weeks in November last year, I've been struggling. I had a D&C and it's been 10 weeks since then. Hubby and I are TTC and I'm trying to not loose hope.

I also have my fathers jenes unfortunately. He is an alcoholic. I cannot drink. I know that if I have one, I risk not being able to stop, and since the misscarage I've lost myself too many times to this problem.

I'm lucky hubby is supportive, as he know's I recognise my problem and depression and alcohol do not mix. I have a lot of guilt and am trying not to hate myself for my weaknesses. I don't want to hurt myself anymore, or my loved ones.

I'm thinking of upping my dose of antidepressants, from just 50mg every second day, to 50mg every day. However I also believe in the power excersise and fitness has to heal. That was my saviour from going from 200mg daily, down to 50mg.

I'm really looking for some support and love. I don't want to loose myself again.

<3

[MuminMind]

I'm really looking for some support and love. I don't want to loose myself again.
Thanks for sharing a little bit of your background, angelic blue, and welcome back to forum.

I'm sorry that things are challenging at the moment, but it sounds like you are very self-reflective and monitor your moods closely. It's great to see that you recognise the warning signs.

Would you like access to the private discussion area in here for people with PND and/or AND? It is a incredibly supportive area where you can talk about ANYTHING without judgement.

Let me know, and I'll set it up for you. :hugs:

[angelicblue]

Would you like access to the private discussion area in here for people with PND and/or AND? It is a incredibly supportive area where you can talk about ANYTHING without judgement.

Let me know, and I'll set it up for you. :hugs:

that would be great. i'm still learning the ropes on how bubhub works but I'll get there :)

[MuminMind]

that would be great. i'm still learning the ropes on how bubhub works but I'll get there :)

Great! You find the area here, but this link may not work until I have spoken to one of the moderators who will give you access. I'll do that now! :) http://www.bubhub.com.au/community/forums/forumdisplay.php?773-Private-discussion-areas

[alex425]

How you're feeling & acting is normal, a lot of women get PND, some worse than others, but regardless it is a constant battle til it's over.. You can't put a time limit on how long it lasts.. and some things others have done to help themselves may not work for you, you just have to find your own way of getting some space from it all and go from there. I had pretty severe post natal depression and everyday was a constant struggle for me. I tried talking to family & friends, I saw a psychologist & went on medication for a while but all that helped for me was time. You just have to do the best you can but if things get too serious, get friends & family to help you with your kids. Just have some courage & faith in yourself, you will get through it.

[SugarSkull]

It does sound like you're suffering from PND. I was the same after giving birth to DS. I was snappy, angry, constantly crying, and everything DH did made me angry. I also found it really hard to bond with DS. Once I saw a GP, started seeing a psychologist, taking antidepressants, as well as progesterone cream & oxytocin lozenges. 7 months later and I'm finally feeling like me. I'm not angry, I don't cry at the drop off hat and I'm not so angry with DH anymore. I can control temper and feel a lot more positive.
See a GP next week. You will get through this hun. With the correct treatment, things will get better. It's a constant battle.
Xx