Anyone else have any issues with people relating to bf? [Archive]

Rainbowbrite

06-10-2006, 19:25

Lunar

06-10-2006, 19:29

I feel the same as you RB, although I was unable to feed my 2:gloomy:
I would give anything to have bf them forever! (well, not forever but YKWIM)

It makes me feel sick when I hear those comments. And to know someone isn't even willing to try, I gave it my all and I still sometimes get really sad about it now.

Lirael

06-10-2006, 19:29

I wish I was able to BF for longer than I did. I had no support at all and things didnt go well:( I really hope things will be different if I am blessed with another baby as its very important to me.

I think its great that mums feed past 6 months my mum fed everyone to 16 months plus(4 babies) and when we were all born it was common for women to donate breastmilk to premmie babies.

Natsmummy

06-10-2006, 19:35

I totally agree with you. I know a number of women who due to problems such as chronic mastitis had to give up breastfeeding and that is totally understandable, but I often read threads on Bubhub from women who have decided before the baby is even born that they don't want to breastfeed and it just makes me so angry.

Billy

06-10-2006, 19:36

Maybe some will feel differently once they've had their bubs?? I know I thought I would want to go out drinking etc before DD was born- but that changed quick smart when she was here! :thumbsup:

Pixie

06-10-2006, 19:39

I gotta say I am no BF nazi and but I agree I always think well you don't know unless you try it, your attitude may change each to their own I could say a lot more, but I might get an infraction :D

Rainbowbrite

06-10-2006, 19:40

Maybe some will feel differently once they've had their bubs?? I know I thought I would want to go out drinking etc before DD was born- but that changed quick smart when she was here! :thumbsup:

You'd hope so, but no, not in W's case (friend). She refused to try, was out drinking within a month & did infact have no problem leaving her bub far a week. I still havent left MJ for a day, let alone a week.

I have the utmost respect for people who atleast try & cant :hugs:

Billy

06-10-2006, 19:42

Amen to that, sister!!

I particularly get annoyed when people (IRL) tell me how "hard" they tried (ie not very hard at all) to continue BFing. I tell them my story of trying to get Vallerie back on the boob - and suddenly I'm "BFing Nazi"!! :no:

I don't think you're a bf nazi :hugs:

When you know better, you do better.

Pixie

06-10-2006, 19:43

jkate

06-10-2006, 19:45

hugs RB

I totally agree with you about those who don't try so they can just drink away - its scary to think there are mothers like that. We all have different reasons why we stop bf when we do. You know mine :p :fingerscrossed: with the next bub I can go over 6 months, with your support and bub hub I am sure I can.

Rainbowbrite

06-10-2006, 19:45

RB I think there is probably a completly different underlaying iss-ewe aside from BF if that is her attitude to being a parent....I hope she doesn't visit this website! We can't judge others, I know it's hard!!

Well, yes she does have issues. She doesnt visit that i know of :o But I havent seen her for months so who knows.

Billy

06-10-2006, 19:49

You'd hope so, but no, not in W's case (friend). She refused to try, was out drinking within a month & did infact have no problem leaving her bub far a week. I still havent left MJ for a day, let alone a week.

I have the utmost respect for people who atleast try & cant :hugs:

Well thats good because I tried and couldn't for very long, but I think I will be better informed next time around (largely thanks to bubhub!! :yelclap: ) to perservere much longer than I did.

I have a friend who also has very little difficulty leaving her bub to go places, and I find it hard to leave DD with my mum for an arvo... :o

Different people I guess... :detective:

Seekrit

06-10-2006, 20:04

I'm getting so sick of my pregnant friends in real life telling me that they dont even want to try bf because they want the freedom to go out with their friends & party. They want, in their words, to be able to leave the baby as soon as they are able to so they can go out & drink because they havent had a drink in 9 months. This is from the same person who left her 10month old for a week to go to fiji for her honeymoon :eek:

I really wish i wasnt the only person I know, again in real life that breastfeeds past 6months.

Vent over, sorry :o

See, right now I'm exclusively breastfeeding and sipping a rum.
WHY!&*($!&(*^$^% ZOMG POISON YOUR CHILD!*$&%?!?!????

Because I KNOW he won't be awake for another 6 hours at least, and if, per chance, he does wake up.. I have breastmilk in the freezer.

If I had the inclination to go out and party, I know I can go at about 8ish (when the good parties start) and hey, I don't need booze to have a good time. At the most I'll have one rum... (and tonight I deserve this one. let me sip it!) but yeah..

Edit: I just wanted to add that I can't fathom leaving Cobey for a few hours, after his bed time even, to go to the movies or anything at the moment.
Last time I left him with anyone but Chris for 20 minutes I started crying :(

My priorities have changed 10-fold in the last 11 weeks. In fact in the last year!

I don't get it when people don't try.. Especially since colostrum is such good stuff. I also don't get it when people give up after 2 or 3 days because they "didn't have enough milk." and why don't the hospital staff tell them that they WILL get their milk???
I know a girl who bottle feeds her bub because of that reason. "The midwives wouldn't believe me when I said I had no milk" she said. but yet says 4 weeks later that her boobs still let down in the shower?

Anyway.
I had a workmate say to me "Oh, I'm surprised you're still BF... most people give it up these days." :mad:

SilverStarfish

06-10-2006, 20:32

I have a great friend who breast fed both her girls until past 12 months and is now started the same wonderful job with her new little boy. She's been a great help to me and someone with whom to roll my eyes with when yet another well meaning aquantaince asks with an incredulous look "You're still feeding her?"

My DD will be 7 months tomorrow :thumbsup:

shed

06-10-2006, 21:35

Well I went up the road to the shop today, without bubby. :yes:

It took at least 20 minutes and I was fine. Its the first time in nine weeks I haven't been in the same room as him except when in the shower or loo.

I was fine. :yes:

Might even do it again in another nine weeks. :laughing:

bec79

06-10-2006, 21:58

I'm with you ladies when it comes to mums (or mums to be), deciding not to b'feed before they even give it a go....it really upsets me. How can you make a statement like "Breastfeedings just not for me", when you have never done it before? :confused:

Like Seekrit, I hate hearing stories about mums who "don't have enough milk" after only b'feeding for a few days. In fact a friend of mine came out with, "I gave up breastfeeding because I didn't have enough milk" after only feeding for one day!!:eek:

I have nothing against FF who gave b'feeding a chance, but didn't succeed....in my experience (from talking to other mums), it is the lack of support that is a big contributing factor. The more I think about it, the more I feel like I am one of those narky lactivists....

shed

06-10-2006, 22:25

cheezelkat

06-10-2006, 22:29

I feel blessed that I know a lot of women I know will breastfeed as they see how easy it is to do, and how wonderful it is. A lot of them ask me questions about it, and I love telling people about my experiences with it. There is no bond that compares IMO between a breastfeeding mother and baby. To me, breastfeeding is an extension of pregnancy. I nurtured him for 9 months in my body, and as his mother, I have the ability to keep nurturing him and giving him the best source of nourishent.

Gosh, just thinking about how wonderful bf is makes me all teary :)

kymmy

06-10-2006, 23:20

My friend said to meshe stoppe bfing cos she is modest!?
This offended me cos I have always thouht myself not to be immodest.
I don't breastfeed cos I want ppl to look at me!
I feedmy baby cos he gets hungry (he can't yet make his own meals)

the_queen

06-10-2006, 23:35

I've been told to give up BFing because I should get a job. He's just turned 5 months old FFS. And even if I did want to get a job - I'd be pumping :D

reAllytee

07-10-2006, 00:41

[text deleted by moderator] knowing the lovely RB what your not understanding is she isnt having a dig at all FF mums but more so those who become mums & choose what they like & dont like when it comes to being a parent.
Hope that made sense.
Anyways i know of many who have chosen not to bf purely because "they wanted a life" eerrrr sorry but if you havent noticed having a baby means you dont really get one once bubs is born !
I also know one girl who bf & still gets drunk knowing she needs to feed every 2 or 3hrs :shame: .
I have to say i was one who was wary of giving bf'ding a go but thats due to a psychological problem in regards to my childhood but i still tried which is a shame that many dont even when they dont feel they want to for various reasons. I made sure i spoke with my midwives who if i felt werent giving me enough support i wouldve gone to see a counsellor about it. Which is all RB is really trying to say.
[text deleted by moderator]

rynosmum

07-10-2006, 04:18

I have just spent half an hour doing a major clean up of this thread.

Please keep on topic.

Rainbowbrite

07-10-2006, 07:11

Thanks Ally :hugs: Let me just put one thing straight. I have never once, put anyone down for ff. Hell, I wanted to ff when i was pg, then tried & persevered with bf with many tears, & utter agony, & now wouldnt change that for the world. I'm so lucky to have a supportive DH who would never dream of telling me to stop bf. He see's how much MJ & I love the bf relatioship we have.

MY VENT, is with people who choose not to bf for purely selfish reasons. Why have a child, if you just want to leave it with others & go out? If you have issues that prevent you from bf, be it personal or otherwise, I have no problem. If you tried & couldnt, I respect that. I have a friend who decided not to try as she was molested when younger & didnt feel comfortable having a child feed from her, again, I understand & respect that. Being a victim of assault, I can understand why it would be very hard to overcome.

As I said in my op, i know nobody IRL that bf past 6months. All of my friends, family members etc FF by that age. Most due to returning to work, which, while wouldnt prevent me personally, I understand.

Thanks to all the supportive people that have been posting. I'm sorry that people think what they do of me. But this is an "internet forum" not "real life." Its very easy to be taken out of context in writing.

Also, thanks to Rynosmum for jumping in to clean things up :hugs:

shed

07-10-2006, 08:34

I was never much of a drinker anyway and I stopped going out years ago, so I haven't really given much up so I I can't really talk because its not like I sacrificed anything.

I must admit that there are a couple of classes at the community college down the road that I would love to go to but I can't, because I don't want to express but I don't want to be away somewhere imagining my baby crying with hunger. A conundrum. So I will just wait a while and see if I can express when he's a bit older.

Just not quite ready yet.

the_queen

07-10-2006, 08:43

When Vallerie was a baby, I was early-20's, and I definitely felt that "pull" to have a social life. Now, ok I'm not that much older, but I feel so much older, and I'm content now to be at home with my children, and to sleep at night rather than go out. Even when Vally was little, I subconciously knew that going out was innappropriate but I still did it. I would go out, have fun, get home late, then have to get up in the morning and live a day as if I hadn't gone out the night before, IYKWIM. Parenting is hard enough without a hangover. I got enough unwanted sleep deprivation without willingly subjecting myself to more. I realise now, with the benefit of maturity, that the night out (and the money spent on the night out) is not worth it.

Seekrit

07-10-2006, 08:49

From reading RB's last post I was thinking..
It's amazing how much I've changed.......

I went from "I'll try to BF but hey, I was formula fed and I'm okay."
to "Okay, this isn't too bad, we're working it out pretty well, at about 6 weeks I'll be happy giving him a formula feed a night or something."
Which then went to "at 6 months I'm going back to work.. can I breastfeed at home and formula him during the day??? or should I just ween him completely."

And now it's...

"I DON'T EVER WANT TO STOP BREASTFEEDING HIM!" hehe! I've spoken with my CHN and my boss about pumping at work, I'm pretty confident I can keep it up until he's around 12 months..! I hope! :D

Anyway, that is all :) I'm going to be one of those crazy hippy-ladies who I used to screw my nose up at.. aren't I ;)

Billy

07-10-2006, 08:52

Good on you Nikki you crazy hippie lady you!! :p :yelclap:

sopolicha

07-10-2006, 09:52

Its the little baby I feel sorry for.

I know, I hate seeing little babies having those god awful big Avent bottles shoved in their little, tiny faces.

For the record I bottle fed sop after about 6 weeks, oli self weaned at 10 months and cha is still going strong with absolutely no sign of giving it away. She is going now as I type.

bec79

07-10-2006, 09:53

Seekrit: I found myself in the same boat as my b'feeding relationship developed.
I even seriously considered changing to FF when I went back to uni. In hind-sight after 12 months of BF, I feel so happy that I never took that path...

Oh, and I say more power to the hippie ladies....:smiliedance:

shed

07-10-2006, 11:24

Yeah, I have become a bit of a hippie momma myself. Who woulda thunk it? Not me that's for sure.

I always wanted to give breastfeeding a go, but I was very openminded about it. Now I am not. I can't even bring myself to express yet. I love the power of being the only one who can nourish this baby. I am POWER CRAZY!!! Its gone to my head!!!

I can't believe how my mindset has changed, on so many things.

Gawd, I'll be eating wholemeal bread next.

....nah. THAT will never happen, yuk.

meme

07-10-2006, 12:26

i don't think it's fair to insinuate that life disappears after having children. life changes. i don't have no life as a breastfeeding mum, i have a life that centres on my baby.

babies change everyones lives i would think, even if you aren't breastfeeding i imagine you still experience tired/sleep deprived/ emotional new mother hood .

i think breastfeeding cops the unfair blame for these (percieved)negatives in life with kids.

yes, i do feel a pang when hearing unfortunate weaning stories, tales from women who don't want to try and some of the *information* that gets handed out from so called proffessionals.

and i also feel stirrings over comments such as i was ff and i am fine. or my ff child is never sick but her fully breastfed ones are..etc. these anecdotal stories seem to miss the point that the breastfeeding studies are statistical averages that illustrate the risks, rather than any sort of guarantee of health/ill health. some formula fed kids are the picture of health, that doesn't make the risks of not breastfeeding any less real.

and while i am ranting like a loony:o people who say that formula is just as good, that formula's these days are as good as breastmilk and that they wouldn't be allowed to sell it if it was bad for babies, well, :no: .

strangely enough i also hate the breast is best slogan. :eek: .

disclaimer; i am not judging anyones personal situation. :cool:

MamaSage

07-10-2006, 13:23

For the record I bottle fed sop after about 6 weeks, oli self weaned at 10 months and cha is still going strong with absolutely no sign of giving it away. She is going now as I type.

Jeepers, I just worked out what your username is! I never realised, what a twit! :laughing:

[text deleted]

mumofcaleb

07-10-2006, 13:34

Our little boy is 11 months old and I'm still breastfeeding. I will until he is 12 months or so. I too still get asked from my girlfriends if I'm "still" breastfeeding. Then they always congratulate me because they didn't breastfeed at all or did for only 6 months. I get quite irritated by this. Many women I know just aren't into breastfeeding or they think that breasfeeding for 12 months is too long...when actually it is recommended to do so for 12 or even 24 months.

mumofcaleb

07-10-2006, 13:40

Milly

07-10-2006, 15:34

you can easily breastfeed AND have a social life...

Yes you can:yes: ! I think a lot of people forget that. I find b/fing so convenient and so portable. There are no extra things to worry about when you do it. And if you organise yourself and the like, you can still socialise and get out there. Breastfeeding in fact does not "tie you down" at all. There is so much freedom in breastfeeding. You can plug your baby in anytime, you don't need to fuss about with bottles, sterilisers, big nappy bags full of stuff and have to find a microwave or bottle warmer to heat the milk and if you want to go out, you just express and have some ready to go straight from tap. It is sooo convenient! (and free. have you seen the cst of Formula lately. $22 a tin/week! Ouch! It is very expensive. So money for your social lilfe is consumed in buying formula anyway) You can even travel the world without a worry about infant feeding when you breastfeed too. No worries about preparing anything in foreign places or the like at all. So darn convenient. :D

But having said that you can go out, we generally don't much anymore, but not because I am breastfeeding, but because I have responsibilities and other things to think about now. We do go out on occasion and when I get the grandparents in to babysit, but we don't "party" like we used to and only go out for dinner. We don't leave our children for the week or weekend. But yes, I am one of the only people I know to breastfeed past 6 months. But I love freaking people out with my "bigger older" baby attached to my boobies LOL. Great when you dine out in the new inner city urban coffee shop precincts with the DINKS (double income no kids):laughing:

Jo_Jo

15-10-2006, 13:08

i know a few women that have done the same and won,t even give BF a try and it makes me :barf: to think they won,t even have a go some having there first and some that had a bad time BF with the first so don,t want the hassle with the next i think it is selfish to say oh no i don,t want to, as i still want to party they should get over themselves!! im all for having a good time and having me time, but i think in society these days it,s hip to be able to have the cake and eat the whole dam lot and a bit more too, get the full on partying out of ya system before the bub if all these chicks think about is getting blind and BF would not fit in don,t have the baby!!!i think as long as you have a try just even to get bub of to a good start is good, it is not easy from the start but how bonding and cheap it can be when ya get the hang of it all, hell i have breast fed my little man for 18 months and 15 months of that on only 1 booby won.t go into it but the start was rough but im glad i stuck it out, i love it and still are able to go out sometimes and have a bit of fun...jo

MordecaiAliVanAllenO'Shea

15-10-2006, 14:17

A great thing for me about bfing is that it's an excuse to keep DS with me - like if we go out to dinner or a restaurant where others are not bringing their kids, I can say "sorry, but I'm bfing DS so need to bring him." I hate leaving him - have only left him once for our anniversary dinner (he's 6mnths). I also feel so proud to look at him and say "I did that!" This amazing little person wasgrown inside me and has been nourished by me alone until very recently (some tastes of solids, but not really swallowing it so I figure I can still take full credit:D ) and he's thriving. I've never really liked my body, but this is something my body is good at!

I've also found myself changing into a hippy mumma! I was always a "once they can ask for it I'm going to stop bfing, that's too wierd" person, now I want to go for at least the recommended 2yrs. I've also become a baby wearing cloth mumma who part time cosleeps, and now we're starting to do ec too. It's just naturally evolved.

I'm lucky in that a lot of people around me have bf for at least 6-12mnths so it's considered normal, I was shocked when a colleague at work said when I was pregnant that they weren't going to bf if they had kids because they'd be embarassed. I told her there are heaps of ways around that - feed at home, express for when out, cover with a wrap, use the mothers rooms...she was surprised that I was planning to bf because where she lives it's not very common to bf so for her it would be more of a big decision to do it, not just the natural thing. I think that is so sad.

Mel

our little treasures

28-10-2006, 23:50

I think its mean for a woman to bring a child into the world and claim that they love it and then willingly and knowingly deny it the best form of nourishment that it can have, for no reason other than that they didn't feel like it.

Its the little baby I feel sorry for.

tHIS IS WHAT i WOULD HAVE SAID ON THIS ISSUE!

Drives me nuts when mums don't even try.. We choose to have children and we should be giving children the best possible start to life.. As babies. Love and food is the most important things that you can give a newborn, to not even give it a try..:mad:

The women that do this are also the most ANTI BF women I know and cannot stand one nice thing being said about BF. I would never utter a bad word to them in regards to their choice but have to listen to why I am BF and OMG you want to feed until he is 2, yuck.... God forbid we hear about something new BF gives to babies....

Anyway enough of my rant!! Oh I really feel for the mums that gave it all they had to BF and failed!!:yelclap: For trying, it aint easy:no:

Merlion

29-10-2006, 00:02

I worked with a girl who didn't b/f due to the fact that she could back to work after 3 months and that her mother was going to look after the baby and she didn't want the baby to be to attached as hubbie was going to be a house husband

Milliner

29-10-2006, 06:32

This is from the same person who left her 10month old for a week to go to fiji for her honeymoon :eek:

:eek: There is no way I could leave DS for that long!!!!! :eek:

stellarella

29-10-2006, 06:56

I used to get very angry about mothers who refused to even give breastfeeding a go!! I have made comments to women (even here on bubhub) which were negative comments and which I have now realised get me no where. Therefore I am abandoning my tactic.

I do think to an extent I have no right to judge women on their feeding (and parenting choices in general) because they may not agree with choices I have made, however the BFing issue is really one which needs to be worked on.

I beleive that when you choose to become a mother you are accepting responsibility for certain things....for example...you are accepting the responsibilty to "give BFing a really good go" and to do what is best for your childs health. If you are not prepared to offer your child the BEST start and opportunities in life then you should SERIOUSLY consider whether you are ready to be a mother..

I know there are many women who have very valid reasons for not BFing, I am not going to deny that some women are simply unable to BF, and this is when FF becomes a wonderful SUBSTITUTE! However I do not think it should simply be another feeding option.

WHO recommends that the 1st option be BFing, the 2nd option be expressing your own milk and bottle feeding, the 3rd option is bottle feeding someone elses milk....and the LAST option is FF!!!

I am now simply upset about women who never give BFing a go...or who do not bother to seek help or information about BFing challenges..and my heart breaks for their little bubbas who never even got any colostrum!

For any women who truly gave BFing a go and were unable to BF, please feel content that you are giving your child the best you possibly can. I am angry at women who suggest that by talking about how great BM is we are somehow making FF women feel guilty...Im sorry, if you simply chose to FF without trying to BF you SHOULD feel guilty! And if you really did try then think of this way...

I REALLY REALLY wanted a natural birth (ie. no drugs or interventions), I gave it my darndest shot, however in the end I could not do it. Do I feel guilty every time someone talks about their natural birth because I couldnt give my child that drug free entry to the world (and he may become a drug addict in later life because of it :eek: )? No! I feel sad about it...however I KNOW I gave it my BEST...I do not feel guilty at all. Only motivated to try again next time!

Anyway, obviously BFing is an issue close to my heart...many attitudes to BFing need to change before I can rest easy....and mothers need to initiate that change....

PS. This is a radical idea...but what if formula could only purchased on prescription??? LOL, Im gonna get killed for that one...

Rainbowbrite

29-10-2006, 07:01

:yelclap: Stellarella, I agree whole heartedly with everything you just wrote :yes:

Seekrit

29-10-2006, 07:47

and my heart breaks for their little bubbas who never even got any colostrum!

I think that's the one thing that annoys me the most about FF from birth... none of the liquid gold. :/

sueliz

29-10-2006, 08:14

To those who have bf past thier bubs getting teeth - especially top teeth, do you have tips for teaching them not to bite??
MY 8 mth old if mainly bf and he has bitten me twice. He only has bottom teeth atm so it hasn't been too bad but still both times I told him very firmly 'No!' and took him off the breast. He hasn't done it since - but does anyone have any tips just in case or if he does it again should I just stick to being firm with him and taking him off??

Also - past 12 mths do you exclusively bf along with solids or do you bf some feeds and substitute others with cows milk or something similar??

stellarella

29-10-2006, 08:29

I have just read to do what you are doing. Simply remove him from the breast....then return him to it a minute or so later.

For me personally, I would not actually use the word "No" (just something I have decided to try and limit), however a simple "No" as you remove him from the breast is probably all you can do. babies are clever, he will get the picture;)

Seekrit

29-10-2006, 08:29

Susan - while Cobey doesn't have teeth yet, I've been told whenever he chomps down (teeth or no teeth) to hug his shoulders tight, which smooshes his nose into my boob, which causes him not to breathe. because we're holding the shoulders and now pushing the head in, he's free to pull back to get his breath. Apparently he'll associate biting the boob with inability to breathe.

rainbowbaby

29-10-2006, 08:32

I hear you guys so loud and clear, I had terrible mastitis and had to give up BF which was just awful heartbreaking for me at the time, thankfully my DD did get the liquid gold and two months of BM however I know a woman who refused to BF with her first and now pregnant with second that believes it makes your boobs droop and she can't stand the thought of that so didn't and won't try this time to BF:no: SERIOUSLY!!!

I wish I had the guts to say to her what you wrote Stellarella as I agree with you.

Anyway keep your :fingerscrossed: for me I am going to give it my best shot with this new one, I have actually been studying as much as I can about breastfeeding in preparation for the birth of my new one and also enrolled in a course and have booked my lactation consultant already and you know the last thing on my mind are what my boosies look like!!!

stellarella

29-10-2006, 08:40

Anyway keep your :fingerscrossed: for me I am going to give it my best shot with this new one, I have actually been studying as much as I can about breastfeeding in preparation for the birth of my new one and also enrolled in a course and have booked my lactation consultant already and you know the last thing on my mind are what my boosies look like!!!

Good on you Rainbowbaby:hugs:

We will all be here to offer any support we can :yes:

And dont forget...You deserve to have the best help and information to assist you in reaching your BFing goals so dont settle for anything less..its your right!;)

au01

29-10-2006, 08:51

I'm getting so sick of my pregnant friends in real life telling me that they dont even want to try bf because they want the freedom to go out with their friends & party.

This makes me sad:(

This is from the same person who left her 10month old for a week to go to fiji for her honeymoon :eek:

..and even sadder

I felt a bit odd about BF my first but I gave it a go, gave up too early as I had no support.I became majorly depressed after this and felt like we never bonded well.
With my second I was determined to BF and did so after some trouble but continued till she was 18 months, and now BF DD3.
Most rewarding thing I have ever done.:thumbsup:
I feel sorry for the mums who chose not to BF for selfish reasons as they are missing out on the best quality time, not to meantion the bubs missing out.
IMO cows milk is for baby cows.(no offence to those who FF)

Leez

29-10-2006, 08:55

Ok here's a curly one for you! My friend decided not to bf her third child at all, because between her second and third, she had breast implants - yes I guess technically it was vanity, however her breasts were borderline deformed and caused her psychological problems which she found she couldn't address by any other means other than implants.

I remember when she was pregs, she spent hours and hours researching the issue of b/fing with implants (this was 4 years ago). She spoke to more than one doctor about it, I don't know whether she thought to contact the ABA - I figure she must have come across them at some stage during her travels. I know how long she spent surfing the net trying to find something concrete about it.

At the end of all this, she was not satisfied that this was 100% safe for her baby - she got one too many "not enough research has been done to see long term outcomes". She said to me that after a lot of soul searching, she couldn't handle it if, in 20 years time, they find out that children who were breastfed by mothers who had implants caused some health issue.

She had breastfed her first child for 6 weeks and her second for 6 months.

So which category does my friend fall into? Would you look at her and say 'what a shame she didn't try?'

Just curious!

shed

29-10-2006, 09:08

Well I can only speak for myself and I think its a shame people won't try for no reason other than they don't want to.

This means not trying for no reason other than they don't want to.

i.e. for no reason.

In the case of your friend...well she has a reason doesn't she? So its not really the same thing.

If someone has perfectly functional breasts, there is every reason to believe the milk will come in, they are fit and healthy with no medical conditions that would affect their ability to feed, then in the absence of any other reason, then I would think they could give it a go. If it doesn't work out, hey they tried. Even if its just to give their baby the colostrum at the very least is better than nothing.

bekkyboo

29-10-2006, 09:08

stellarella

29-10-2006, 09:12

I agree with everything Shed said...

Clearly your friend put a lot of thought into it...she doesnt fall into the category I was referring too...

Funkychicken

29-10-2006, 14:45

This is hard for me....

I BF G up until a week ago (just shy of 5 months). All through the pregnancy i said that when he started teething that was a deal breaker, as i didnt want to be a chew toy. G got very sick at two weeks and was hospitalised and tube fed. After this it was very hard to restablish BF. I pushed on and things went back to normal. G started teething bad and went off his food, I was starting to wean him anyway as he seems to be more satified of FF (Mind you he is 9.5kg at 4.5months, im sure he was getting enough :laughing:). When he went of his food, my supply started to dry up, and when he wanted it again - i couldnt (Well, i suppose i could have, but i honestly didnt want to go through all of the agony of starting and stopping all over again), and just left it.

I needed to talk to someone about it. I posted a thread, and got some good replies, even if some were telling me to reestablish my supply.

Hubby was biased - as he wasnt G to continue on BF more for money reasons than any thing else.

My best friend is pro FF, as his mum has fed all his brothers and sisters like that. So i found it impossible to talk to the two people i talk to the most, as both werent being objective - or looking at it from my point of view.

This experience is one of the hardest i have faced as a mother to date. I have found my mood swings are drastic now that my supply is gone, and im feeling very much confused.

I dont really know where i am going with this, other than people have different views for different reasons, and I had at points through the last two weeks wish that i never BF, so that i would have never had to feel what i do know...
Clearly you are feeling very confused and I would guess a bit let down by those two closest to you. Not getting the support you need, especially from your partner, can have such a profound effect on our emotions. I am sure you are right in knowing that your milk supply going is connected to your mood swings but I would also think the whole experience of what you have been through is playing a big part too. I know this may sound just like a lot of other responses to BF issues, but I still believe that the ABA are the BEST people to talk to-even now that Garrett is weaned. You won't be judged for weaning so don't be afraid based on that, they will help you to understand a bit more about what you are going through and they may just be the support you needed earlier; just coming a bit later. Try really hard not to carry any guilt/remorse/anger as this is not what we as mother's should have to feel when faced with these situations. It is now that you need more support than ever before.
I wish you well and please know that you will be supported here on Bub Hub. :hugs: