View Full Version : What are your family's sleeping arrangements?
What has worked well at your place? :)
We started out 3 in a bed in the queen sized bed with ds in between. Lovely from day 1! As time passed, I found sleeping with dp and ds less than peaceful so dp moved into our spare room and set up the prebaby water bed again - no more snoring! We also have a sidecar cot with my queen bed which was good with 3 in the bed. We still have dp in to visit now and then and it feels like a lovely treat now! It's also great to have a second adult bed set up permanently for well, you know what ;) I love having my own room and I don't know if I ever want to share permanently again LOL.
How is it at your house?
We only have Nathan in with us if he's sick or has had a bad dream. So it's only my hubby and I in our queen bed. Nathan has bunk beds with the bottom being a double bed and he has PJ in his cot in there too.
I don't think I would ever have either of the kids in our room as a permanent arrangement. Hubby and I need our time together too.
JMO
Hmm no co-sleeping here either. I had Andrew in bed with at the hospital which was lovely. But once at home, he just never settled no matter what we tried. After much experimentation we actually found that he was most comfy and settled and slept well in a cot in his own room.
Even now when he's upset we try to bring him in but he just isn't interested.
But he does love to play on our bed - we spend quite a bit of time there during the day! Its a nice soft place to fall when he is sitting up and he can play with his toys and I get a bit of lie down too :)
Harmony83
28-09-2005, 11:52
Just me and my DF in bed too, DS will only sleep in his cot now, which is sad because I miss snuggling with him and having him sleep in my arms. Oh well when he's older we can have afternoon sleeps together!! Funny when he would only sleep in our arms and bed, all I wanted was for him to sleep in his own cot, now I miss him...
Peaceangels
28-09-2005, 12:23
Each to their own, but I agree with Sarie - hubby and I need our time together and these days sometimes its bed time when that occurs!! We still love our cuddles every morning too and then the boys jump in and join us.
They sleep with us only when they are sick or scared, but that is rarely and they both LOVE their own beds - when DS1 gets into bed he says "i love my bed mum" as he snuggles in!
I am curious with co-sleeping, when do they go into their own bed and how do you get them to?
yeah i agree to me and dh need our time together as well.... luke has slept in his room since we came home as he would settle in our room and he only sleeps with us if he wont settle through the night but that hardly ever as he likes to be in his own cot..... but we do sometimes have an afternoon slep together in my bed...
but thats right each to there own...
belinda
Foxymoron
28-09-2005, 12:57
Myself, DD and DP in one bed and the other two sleep in bunks in the same room, so everyone feels secure and cosy.
DS spent the first three months next to my side of our bed in a bassinette. then he went into his own room in his cot. transition was very smooth although occasionally i did end up on the floor in his room if he had a bad night.
i like to keep our bedroom as our space at night time - it gives us a small amount of time together after ds has gone to sleep to talk about the day etc. That is, unless we fall asleep before we get to that point (often happens!) :rolleyes:
We often have our bub join us from the early am feed- and boy does it make it more peaceful! We all sleep so much better especially bub! I love the extra few hours in the morning!
So much so that we are upgrading to a king bed so that if we want bub all night he can join us. Hubby is making a simple frame to save money, I love his enthusiasm for our family!
As for sex, well we are not limited to the bedroom, only one baby and a whole rest of the house for us! Thats always been the way so it works well for us!
People tell us that we are creating a rod for our own back but bugger them. They are the same people who said cuddling/rocking him to sleep would result in him not self settling- and he settles just as well on his own as with us.
I trust my son will make that transition when he's ready like he has crawled, walked and talked in his own time. We'll set up a spare single bed in the next year and let him see how he feels about day sleeps first and if he wants to move into it he will. I've never had an allnighter and never been hugely sleep deprived. He has never cried at night. I fed him every 2 hours from birth till 10 months and couldn't have done that with him in another bed. This time in our lives is so short and I want it to be the best it possibly can. In my family, cosleeping means everyone's needs are met :D I sleep, he gets fed! And adult time can be conducted in the other bedroom ;)
Rainbowbrite
28-09-2005, 13:57
Thanks to the support of others on this site, we co-sleep :D I sleep in the middle of DH & MJ :p Sometimes she sleeps with us in our bed, otherwise the cot is right next to my side of the bed. It makes BF soo much easier.
We plan to keep MJ in our room until she's ready to sleep in her own single bed. Just doesn't seem natural to us to have her in a different room. Silly as it sounds to some, we wouldn't be able to sleep without her next to us.
Yay for co-sleeping and thanks to all the mum's who helped us realise just how great it is :D
RB
My son Erik ( 3 years) and I still sleep in the same bed, My husband is a night Owl, and really need his own time late at night so he Co sleeps with our 2 longhaired Dachshunds LOL....
If I had it totally my way I would like to add an other singel bed next to our queens size bed and we would all co sleep dogs and humans !!!!!!!
I would like to Co sleep with Erik until that day he wants to sleep in his own bed, lets say unless he is 30 years old I might kick him out LOL (Again....)
Cheers Malin
Nickster
28-09-2005, 18:06
Our bub has always had her own space. At first it was the bassinet at the foot of our bed, now it is her own little cot in her own bedroom. Come summer though, she'll be shifting in with us as our bedroom is airconditioned (Brissie summers are hothothot!) which will be interesting as DH snores like a freight train and I need earplugs to share a bed with him! I'm sure we'll all cope though!
In my earthmother moments, I would like to co-sleep with bub, but in reality we don't have the space to re-arrange our bedroom to do it safely, and I am a terribly restless sleeper. I have often been told in the morning that I have kicked DH violently in my sleep. Heaven knows what I'd do to a baby!
Sometimes I like to sleep with bub in her room on the bed we also have in there (eg. when DH is having a particularly bad snoring night and the snores penetrate even my earplugs!). She loves seeing me lying there when she wakes up!
I am open to her coming into our room in the early morning and snuggling up while we all sleep-in together when she is more mobile...we'll just see what happens! :)
We have fairly fluid sleeping arrangements which tend to suit us all. We have always coslept to some extent and have always shared a room. At the moment we have a queens sized bed and a king single futon in the room.. and whoever feels like a snuggle is up on teh big bed and whoever needs some space is on the futon. we are all happy and secure and get loads of sleep this way..
WE too have a pretty relaxed approach to this, although we all have our own beds, and dh and i share a queen, all our children regulary co slept with us at one time or another and sometimes it might be cooper and me in the bed, or thomas and cooper in coopers bed, or cooper and daddy in our bed and me ... anyway you get the picture! although i would never make dh leave our bed so one of the kids could sleep their, its only if having 3 of us in their is making him uncomf and he is happy to move-respect for our special hubby/daddy :)
when my daughter was forst born we slept in the same room with her cradle next to by bed, so bf was eaiser also she was in her cot next to my side of the bed, but this was due to the fact that we lived at my mums and only had 1 room between us.
when we moved into our own house she was soo good, sleeping in her cot in her own room from day 1 with no fuss at all.
then just this year (she is 2 and 1/2 now) she got really sick, due to a bad cold and ended up sleeping in our bed in the middle.
now i usually try to get her to fall asleep in the lounge on her fold out couch while we watch tv and when she wakes about 2-3am she comes into my bed.
i like it this way as i get reallt frusturated when we all go into bed together as she is soo restless when she forst goes to sleep and i cant stand her wiggling, plus i like a little bit of mummy and daddy time just for a little cuddle.
my second baby is due in feb and will also be sleeping in my room, although he will be in his bassinett, i hope my daughter will be sleeping in her bed by then as 4 people in a doulbe bed wont work. plus i want the baby sleeping in his own room as soon as i stop bf.
jembelina
28-09-2005, 20:36
We co slept for the first 6 months. I would have loved to keep going but it had become unsafe as bub shimmied down the bed under the covers. The first few nights felt a bit strange but now I'm used to him being in his own room. He's happy in his cot, he had a restless night recently and I tried to bring him into our bed and he thought it was a huge joke!! In terms of breastfeeding, I never felt it was any less disruptive to my sleep as i still had to wake up and sit up in order to get comfy anyway. As he gets older I'm more than happy for him to jump in with us if he wants to. Also, when we have more babies they will be in with us for some time too.
Oli was in his own room from Day 1 in a bassinet and it was going great til I got sick about 3 weeks later.
I couldnt be bothered getting out of bed to bf so we all squeezed into our double bed. At that stage sex was the last thing on my mind :o
took maybe 2 nights for us to get jack of it and we got a new king size bed and a really good matress preparing to co-sleep.
but Oli doesnt like it. Hes now in a cot in his own room.
We moved the old bed into Olis room so I can lie in on it during the night if need be - or send hubby in when he annoys me lol
We have co-slept from day one, and just love it.
Dh sometimes will sleep in the spare room if he has ridiculously early starts, to save him from waking us all at 4am while he lumbers around like an elephant :)
It will be twice as cuddly when the new baby comes, it will be 4 in the bed most of the time.
At present we have a queen butted up to a king single on the floor, that may have to increase to 2 queens!
j&k'smum
01-10-2005, 21:30
There is no co sleeping here...was for a long long time with first child but vowed it wouldn't be happening again second time round.
Little one loves snuggling into her own bed, in her own surroundings.. I sometimes ask her if she wants to sleep in my bed and she will say "No mummy, my bed". She will come in early in the morning and thats cool with me. We still get our snuggles then.
I find we both are alot more restless when sleeping together. Hence alot more tired and grumpier next day. And I don't like being grumpy old mum lol.
If she has a temp or is vomiting she stays in my room so I can keep an close watch on her. Then its back in her room.
I love getting into my own bed and sprawling out and having a good sleep. And from what I can tell, my kids do too. :D
aardvark
01-10-2005, 21:50
DD#2 started coming into our room at about 4am most mornings once she was in her bed, and no longer in the cot.
To be quite honest, once I was back at work, I was quite happy to have the time with her in her "middle spot" in our bed. DH was less impressed, and I wasn't too fussed on her bad habit of kicking the covers off all of us - a bit chilly.
She seems to have outgrown the need to come into our bed now, and even resists when she is unwell - sometimes I'd prefer to banish DH to her room, and have her sick in bed with me where I can keep and eye on her fever when necessary. My logic is that DH would be better rested for work, and if she was so sick, then I'd be staying home with her anyway, and so could rest during the day if we had a bad night.
Overall, I've taken the view that whatever gets the household as a whole more sleep, has to be a good arrangement, and if that has meant having a little one sharing for the night, then so be it.
Funkychicken
06-10-2005, 20:37
When our firstborn arrived I had all the "well-meaning" advice from previous generation about making a rod for my back if I let him into our bed etc etc...
The first week or so at home my husband and I spent very little time sleeping as we listened to our son scream as soon as we put him into the bassinet. In the end, with me in tears, my husband said "Give him to me" and put him on his chest. Instant sleep for all. Our little baby boy adored sleeping with us and as time went by he moved into the cot happily as he was contented to know we were there if needed. When our daughter arrived 2 years later, I made a firm decision to let her sleep with us as needed. My son had my time all day and I believed my daughter was entitled to time alone with Mum also. She happily fed and went to sleep in a bassinet near our bed at about 8pm. I followed to bed at about 9pm. She usually woke around 1am at which time I scooped her up with barely an open eye and brought her into bed with us. She contentedly fed whilst I went back to sleep. I would often wake around 5am with my baby feeding again with no need to cry out or fuss. We all got enough sleep and there was no stressed parents or babes. I will point out though that I only ever put her on my outside whilst she was tiny and only progressed her to the middle of the bed as she grew, as my husband can be a very heavy sleeper. Nowadays our son comes into our bedroom to snuggle between about 6 and 7 am. Our daughter still likes to creep in earlier occasionally and snuggle into my side as she did as a baby but mostly stays in her own room all night. I am due to have our third in Dec and have full intentions of co-sleeping again. It is the ultimate bonding expereience!!! My mother still thinks it's weird but deep down I believe she is a bit jealous because she listened to her parents advice and did as she was told (early weaning, letting babies scream etc...)and has trouble accepting that I will do things my way.
Isn't it amazing how easy sleeping can be when you do what babies need? How lovely to have all that cosleeping experience!
:D
bekababe3
07-10-2005, 10:44
We have a king size bed, most night's it will be me, dp, Tayah and Livvy... and about 2 night a week Cleo joins us.
I love cosleeping, dp doesn't mind it (a mack truck wouldn't wake him up) and we can be creative finding other places to dtd. :D
sal008, loved your co sleeping story, sounds very similiar to my experiences :) when bubs is tiny and needing regular feeds during the night, its so much nicer to just scoop them up (tilly often wouldnt even be awake properly when i would notice her stirring and put her on the breast where she would blissfully doze back off...) rather than having to get out of bed, go to another room....such a pain! i too kept them on the outside in the crook of my arm so if i fell asleep hubby wouldnt roll on them or something!
our little treasures
20-10-2005, 10:41
Our sleeping arrangements were dd slept in our bed until 16MNTHS. Then I was 7mnths preggars and thought I didnt want her to wake with bubs crying so We made a beautiful room for her fairies 4 post bed etc. Everyone had always said she will have probs etc well I put her in and she slept the whole night without waking!!! SO THERE to all who say it doesnt work!!! Now she is 20mnths and all four of us sleep in bed at different times in the morning, I would much rather sleep till 8-9 then get up 5.30 onwards!!!!
Personally I love b/f in bed I am such a grouch when tired dd was screamer and we barely slept unless she was with us I would get so frustrated and yell at poor hubby until the nite I fed in bed well no more late nites for us!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)
miss_moe
20-10-2005, 12:11
on your everyday night our DD (5months) starts her night off in the cot which is pulled up to my side of the bed, then comes in with us after the morning feed - from around 4.30am.
if we are away she is with us or of course if she is sick or unsettled.
as a newborn she spent more time in with us (or on our chests) but is gradually spending more time in the cot. not sure at what point she will move into 'her' room ... I don't think any of us are close to being ready for that.
Foxymoron
21-10-2005, 08:32
:D These stories are so sweet, I'd forgotten all about self service boobies! DD still has a night time boob, though there's no milk there now that I'm well into my pregnancy. I love that whole waking up to find a happy baby already helping themselves. I'm glad I'll get to enjoy it all again soon.
Hi Janet,
I've got the bed mostly to myself! :D My hubby sleeps in the spare room - he's a terrible sleeper, and finds me getting up to attend to the baby wakes him up and he can't get back to sleep for hours. DH did come back to share our room when bub was sleeping through the night, but now bub is teething and unsettled at night, DH has returned to the spare bedroom during the working week, and sleeps in our bed on the weekend.
Bub has sleept in her cot in her room since she was 4 months old. When she was younger she slept in a basinette in our room. I've always brought her into bed with me when she's woken around or after 4am. Now she's a bit older, and sometimes crawls around the bed, so if she doesn't go to sleep after the feed, she's returned to her cot to sleep.
I love the morning co-sleep - it's wonderful to have her near me - I'll miss it when she gets older.
Grubincubator
31-10-2005, 15:02
We've been co-sleeping with 'E' since the day we came home from hospital. (Actually I broke out of hospital after 2 nights because I couldn't stand it. 'E' would cry all night and he wasn' allowed to sleep in bed with me!)
We wouldn't have it any other way.
We have his cot jammed between the bed and wall with on side removed so when summer comes he may be happy sleeping in there. Or so I'm hoping... the thought or sharing with two sweaty boys is less than inspiring lol.
Anna&JacksMum
31-10-2005, 15:17
I love co-sleeping! Had no idea what it was until I had my little poppet last year. A lovely midwife tipped me off when I couldn't get her to settle one night in hospital. She tucked her in next to me, reassured me I wouldn't her and the two of us had a fab nights sleep!
When we got home we tried the bassinet, then would let her sleep with us out of sheer exhaustion from trying to settle her. Both sets of parents were horrified! We were told we'd suffocate her, roll on her, she'd never move into her own bed, and other awful things.
At 3 weeks old, I took her for a check up at the paeditrician, and v sheepishly asked about her sleeping with us. He reassured it was fine, and was a very natural thing to do with your baby. He said she would settle easier and be more content as she could sense that we were there for her. He was right!
His only tip was if we wanted to get her into her own bed, to start the transition around 3 months old as that's when baby's form 'sleep associations', so basically when they start to connect the environment they are in with sleeping.
We took her advice and it worked a charm.
With number 2 due in January, we plan to so-sleep again & ignore all the awful advice from 'well-meaning' relatives!
We do what gets everyone the most sleep ;) It's a constantly evolving thing as DS grows, goes through different developmental stages, sickness etc.
I started cosleeping right from day dot in hospital. A few of the midwives were not too impressed and kept telling me to put DS to sleep in the basinette for varying reasons but I stuck to my guns and told them we were happy and I was going to continue.
At home we started with three in a queen sized bed - me in the middle and DH and DS on either side. Then after about 4 weeks, DH moved to the spare bed on weeknights because he found our night feeds 'too noisy' LOL. I did have a cradle next to our bed but DS didn't really like it. Around 7 months, I started putting DS into his cot (in another room) at the start of the night and bringing him into bed with us if he woke in the night. We then had a horror two weeks or so where I tried to get DS back into his cot after a feed. I was so exhausted having to wake properly for night feeds that I started cosleeping again for safety reasons.
DS is now 18 months old and we have a single mattress on the floor next to our bed. DS loves it because he can climb into bed anytime he wants and can get out on his own when he wakes. He knows I'm right there if needed but also has his own space. I'm planning on removing the side of this cot (it's a 3-in-1) and to give him the option of sleeping in his own room. If he's not interested then that's fine, but if as I suspect he want's to exert his independence then he can :D
From day one at home, DS has slept in his own room in his cot. Occasionally, after his 6:00am feed, I'll bring him into our King Size Bed for a 'Snuggle' and he'll often sleep for a couple of hours in time for his next feed.
When he's in our bed he loves sleeping on his belly with his bum in the air, legs tucked into his tummy!!!!
I couldn't have him in our bed or our room every night, as my DP and I need our time alone and together. I love my DS dearly, but he's happy in his own room, and we haven't had any problems with him sleeping right through since day one!!!!
Whatever works for everyone is good!!!!
Stace 24 :p
DP 25 :)
DS Seth ( 22-9-05) :D
dh and i have discovered that when coops is in bed with us, if dh turns around so his head is at the other end of the bed and i stay where i am, it creates heaps more room and dh is not getting kicked in the stomach etc lol :) just a tip i thought id share :)
JessandKirra
17-11-2005, 17:07
no matter how many times I tried, DD was not interested in sleeping with us or near us. In her own room from very early. I think week 2 or something.
Always thought sharing a bed was play time no matter how much we ignored her playfullness. So back to her room she went.
Funny thing is DH falls asleep on the lounge most nights. (not that I condone it) but have given up waking him since DD came along. So most nights I have the bed to myself!
Mamaduke
19-11-2005, 00:11
Ever since the boys were newborns, they were in their own rooms. Even when our eldest was sick, he wouldn't stay in our room and wanted to go to his cot. Then when he was about 3 everything changed - he started sleeping in our bed and Daddy went to sleep in his room (all 6'5" of him in the single bed with the rainbow canopy over it LOL!) Much to MIL's dismay "A man needs to be able to sleep in the marital bed", this went on for the good part of a year. It didn't bother any of us, every one was getting a good night's sleep and DH was happy to give up his bed to his son. Jesse decided in his own time when he wanted to sleep in his own room and the transition has been really easy. I guess that at 15/16, when he's telling me to drop him off around the corner so his friends don't see, I'll feel better with the knowledge that I had him snuggling up to me a little longer than others. As for DS#2, Lucas, he's just so contented in his cot, in his own room, but I know there'll come a time when he'll probably want to sleep in our bed too, so Daddy will pack up his CPAP machine (huuge snorer, well was) and off he'll go, back to the little bed!!!
Carly
P.S. To Anna&Jacksmum, I was laying in the double bed at the hospital with Lucas snuggled up to me when the midwife came in and said that it wasn't safe because I'd had a c/s! Don't really know what that had to do with it - so I said thank you very much for your advice, but we'll just stay right where we are thanks!
Funkychicken
20-11-2005, 17:45
dh and i have discovered that when coops is in bed with us, if dh turns around so his head is at the other end of the bed and i stay where i am, it creates heaps more room and dh is not getting kicked in the stomach etc lol :) just a tip i thought id share :)
DH and I have done this on many occasions. Especially when both DS and DD would come in during the night. I often would be at one end with one child and DH at the other with the other child. Makes everything a little more roomy.
-------------------------------------
Sal-4 wks to go!
I'm single so no room problems there, DS has sleep with me since born and is nearly 9 months...
I love it, easier for feeding, comfort, warmth and that's just me!
Up date to our families sleeping arrangements..
About 2 months ago my wish came through.
My Husband and me and our son were sleeping very happy together for about a year, then as my husband that is a night owl kept waking us up in our light sleep, in the middle of the night.
We got a little annoyed, so my husband decided to sleep in the spare room with the dogs..
That lasted for about 2 years +, I was never really happy about that, finally my husband opened up to the idea to start sleeping in our bedroom again.
We just added a king size single bed to our Queens size bed.
This feels just absolutely wonderful, we are all together now plus our two dogs sleeps with us as well..
We will keep sleeping together all of us until that day our son likes to have his own space...
Liam&Sienna'sMum
23-12-2005, 10:22
My DS slept in a basinet until he was 4 months old, then we made the transition to co sleeping. He slept in my bed for 3 years. DP and I split up when he was 8 months old, however we got back together when he was 2.5. When i became pregnant, we moved him to a single bed in our room. Now he sleeps in his own room, but often joins us early in the morning, which i love :) DD has been a co sleeping baby from the start. DP, DD and I all share a bed.
I love co sleeping, it's always worked wonderfully for us :)
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