Can anyone help????

[bundymum]

Let me describe my middle child for you all...........He's 6yo and very affectionate, he tells us he loves us constantly and always asks for and gives cuddles. He's doing well in the first grade, gets along well with the kids and his teacher says he's no trouble, he's reading really well and is eager to learn.
Our problem is this...........he has a terrible temper, it's like he's never grown out of the terrible two's!! Not so long ago I put him in time out because he was being really out of control because he wasn't prepared for show and tell, he went into his room screaming and crying(I didn't even smack him!)and progressed to completely trashing his room, I mean bed tipped over, toy box tipped onto the floor, book case emptied, clothes strewn everywhere and he even threw his toys so hard at the walls he put holes in them! There was no calming this behaviour down so I had to let it subside, eventually it did and he came out very appologetic asking for cuddles but it was almost like he had no idea what had happened, this isn't the first episode mind you.:devil6:
We've got him on IQ, the fish oil suppliment and nervatona for stress but he's also showing some other symptoms like major headaches(migrane??), stomach aches etc. I'm wondering if it may be something to do with anxiety? He had a school performance a few weeks ago and he was so excited and eager for us all to go watch him, which we were excited about! Anyway on the day before, it was just after the dress rehershal, I picked him up from school and he looked glassy eyed, normally this means a tantrum is on the way....he proceeded to tell me every excuse under the sun as to why we couldn't go to the concert, he told me he didn't know where to go...I said I did, he said he didn't have the costume because they wouldn't let him have one..........I said the parents had to make them and yours is waiting for you on your bed, he then told me he was really sorry but he told his teacher we weren't going!!!! Was it just stage fright, I wonder?:detective:
He also developed what most doctors would call a tic a few months ago, he would constantly clear his throat 24 hours a day, if we asked him to try and stop it he would then sniff through the nose, he couldn't stop! We took him to our doctor when it had been going on for about three weeks and he said it was more than likely psychological and gave us some tips to help stop it which worked thank god! I've suggested to our doctor that maybe all these symptoms point to some disorder, I'm not sure what but surely it's something but he just looked at me like I was an idiot and said "but he's being good now", and that there is my point, he's an angel until he throws a tantrum, and when he throws a tantrum it's like the outside world is non existent to him and he doesn't really remember it.......so how can I get him help?:banghead:
Has anyone else dealt or is dealing with this same sort of problem? Any advice or words of wisdom would be really appreceated....:fingerscrossed:

[kiwibird27]

I guess it could be lots of things - He could just respond extremely badly to stressful situations but alsoto things that are out of his normal routine??? I would keep a diary of everything "out of the ordinary" and by pass your GP for a good paediatrician - it will cost u but hopefully they can shed some light - It could be a disorder or maybe it's just he can't handle changes in routine, and acts out, maybe (don't get offended) he requires a different parenting style???? That would be easy to fix, perhaps a referall to a behaviour specialist??? Does he do the same in other circumstances or with other people or is it just at home????

Keep a journal

Good luck

[bundymum]

Thanks so much for your advice, I take anything on board and am not offended as I will try anything! :idea:
He reacts like this mostly at home but on the odd occasion it happens outside the home but his outbursts are not as violent. :mad:
At kindy when he was 3 he threw a massive tantrum and proceeded to tell his group leader "You Stink Miss Theresa!", over and over (he was so adamant that she thought maybe she did stink, lucky she has a great sense of humour!) so she had to place him in time out with the same result I mentioned, he got worse and glassy eyed, then came out of it very appologetic.:eek:
He deffinately reacts to stress and suffers anxiety but is also an extremely emotional little thing, if things won't go the way he wants he'll cry (with real tears!) and get himself worked up to the point where his anger takes over. We've tried many different parenting styles to no avail, we've punished, sat and talked about what is making him so upset, we've done time out, we've made him fix the walls he put the holes in, I'm lost as to what I should try next..........if anyone out there has any advice I will gladly accept it! :banghead:
We're deffinately getting a referral to see a paedeatrician and in the mean time I will get him to see the guidance councillor at school.

[gremily]

Just as kiwibird27 said, I'd get a referral to a paediatrician. Unlike a gp how has general knowledge, a paediatrician specializes in kids. They will more than likely be able to refer you to other specialists or councillors aswell.

It's good that you're doing this now while he is still young. My dad was a teacher for yrs, and then became a high school councillor. Some of the kids had MAJOR behavioural problems, stemming from their home life but others because their parents didn't know of any resourses to help them so it just got out of control.

If the school is supportive they should probably be involved aswell, implement some good programs to help him .

[bundymum]

Thanks guys, your advice has been really uplifting and I really appreciate you replies!!!

[kiwibird27]

If your gp is okay maybe she can just refer u directly to a developmental specialist, would totally keep a brief factual journal of the events and times and wether he could be hungry (maybe blood sugr problem???), or tired, it will give them an overview of the behaviour too

Get child care to note incidents for u too, There seems to be a definate pttern to his behaviour???!!! Would start pushing 4 answers, do u live close to a children's hospital?? Would go there if possible

[Little_Toad]

Monitor his diet too. Keep a reconrd of everthing he eats, That may be helpful to the peadistrician.


There could be things he eats that you haven't considered he could be reacting too.

[bundymum]

The diary is a great idea, I've decided to start one immediately! I've also decided it's something he should take to school with him so his teacher can put a note in each day as to how his behaviour was. Thanks for this advice, a friend has also suggested it!:hugs:

[bundymum]

Oh Little Toad, you are due with your bub the same day my last son was born!