I feel like a single parent.

[BlissedOut]

How do you girls deal with it all being lumped on you while DH is away? It's wearing me out, especially with 2 under 2, I just wish my family were in the same country so I had some company and the means to have a break!

[Myztiks#1Fan]

Nevermind

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[Nowhere]

HUGS hun, must be full on with two lil ones, sucks not to get a break i know how you feel.

When both bubs go to bed tonight if they are both in bed at the same time with out you for any amountof time lol. Make sure you make your self a nice cup or tea or coffee (0r wine hehe) and have even 10 minutes to your self of doing NOTHING, i find sometimes even just a 10 minute breather can really refresh you if you are doing NOTHING else at the time.

xxxxx

[Bell & Bug]

I know what you mean. DH works shifts, and sometimes the shifts are so that when I'm getting up, he is sleeping and when I am sleeping he is at work. I can go weeks without having a decent convo with this seemingly strange man that comes in and out of the house.
:hugs:

[Azurial]

:freakingout: Argh 2 under 2!!!! My worst nightmare being a part time single mum!! I'm waiting till ds turns 2 to start ttc another little ruggie! Are there any mobile masseurs near you? Maybe you could get one to come and give you a treatment one night and I agree with Nowhere, even 10 mins can recharge you for the rest of the day. :hugs: And I'm here if you ever need to talk. I'm part of a fb group for FIFO mums and have found them to be really supportive, even if its just a comment on your status every now and then, just so you know some one understands.

[Lemonhead]

It sucks doesn't it?
I reckon its crap because you are kinda sitting there counting down the hours waiting for DH to come home and you actually have someone to miss.

I wish I lived closer, I'd come lump my 3 under 5 with your 2 under 2. Wait, then we'd have 5 under 5 :freakingout: madness! Vodka stat!

[Tennelly]

Your brave using that title lol. But i totally understand what you mean. My dh is away for 2 months working and we are moving, so im home with a 9 month old and a 2.8 yr old trying to pack my whole house alone. Im exhausted so i feel your pain. Hopefully it gets better for you soon. Do you have any friends with kids who you can take it in turns of minding each others children so you get some time off every now and then.

[ComeBackKid]

You certainly are brave!

But :hugs: lovely. It is hard doing it on your own without support. And two under two - I know that happened to me but was such a crazy blur of crazy lol i hardly remember! Look after you - you are doing a great job! <3

[Lemonhead]

I should clarify that I don't have a partner working away. He comes home each night and I am very thankful for that. Mums with FIFO hubbies are just amazing.

[Areca]

How long is he gone for? DH did some FIFO work when I was pregnant with number three...I had a 3 year old and an 18 month old look after on my own for a week at a time. I was very organised. Never procastinated on anything and went to bed early so I had enough energy for them through the day.
Also, of an evening, after they'd gone to bed and before I'd go to bed I'd have a plan of something I wanted to do so that the nights weren't as lonely...anything from watching a movie I wanted to see, reading a book or even sitting online chatting to friends.
I like the term 'solo parenting' myself.

[Witwicky]

It can be full on having a partner who works away, with children to look after, especially when there is limited contact between partners.

My best advice is to spend time to yourself for a part of every day, whether it's just 10 minutes or a few hours if they go to sleep at the same time. During that time, do something you love. Also, if you don't get to talk to him on the phone then write a letter to him every few days to give him upon his return, basically summarising things which you need to discuss with him, how you have been feeling etc.

And count down the days until he returns, because it's exciting and very relieving having that to look forward to. You could draw up a calendar and write "X amount of days until I can have a day to myself to do whatever I like", or something like that. Might help the time pass quicker.

[share a book]

I've lived with only my child for nearly 7 years now (my child i s 8) and on the nights I feel particularly lonely I spend extra time with the furchildren or come on here to see what people are up to. It can be a bit boring and lonely can't it.

[Azurial]

OI Witwicky! Not your section :shame: JOKES!!!!

I love your write things down idea!!! Thats fantastic. I might just start doing that myself.... Yay I finally have a reasn to use one of those notebooks my mum insists on getting me every christmas!!!

[CakeyLoaf]

Aw hugs for you :( as you know my dh does fifo, 3 off and one home and it totally sucks! Even though I have a lot of family support they are not the ones that are up at 2am trying to put baby back to sleep and struggling on a few hours broken sleep a night hey! I think you are doing a fab job, I could not do two under two. You are awesome. We will have to do a playdate at your new place and totally tire them all out. And get new husbands for when ours are away :D

[Witwicky]

Oh I should clarify that FOB was in the army and consequently away a lot, hence my reply :)

[Laksa]

It's hard hey?! My kids are only 20 months apart and both big night-wakers til 2.5yo and sometimes I felt like I was going to fall apart. My DH goes away for 8 days, I don't think I could handle any longer, I can feel my patience wearing away as the days go on...

For us, the time he gets home which is quality family time does help make up for it (as does the moolah lol). He doesn't have a choice really, his job can't be done away from a minesite.

When the kids were little, on his first morning home he would take them (and a bottle of EBM!) round to the in-laws so I could have a sleep-in :)
He is able to call us a couple of times a day too which is great for the boys, they love talking to him on the phone.

My kids are great sleepers now tho and usually in bed at 6.30 so I get time to myself. But in those early days, when both were waking, some nights I cried more than them. It can really suck sometimes.

[Lemonhead]

I've lived with only my child for nearly 7 years now (my child i s 8) and on the nights I feel particularly lonely I spend extra time with the furchildren or come on here to see what people are up to. It can be a bit boring and lonely can't it.

I think the pet idea is great actually. We have a cat who is particularly tolerant and she is happy to get mauled by the children. I can get her inside and she wil entertain the kids long enough for me to have a cuppa.

Also at night when I'm alone if he doesn't get home til late its nice having a companion.

[SassyMummy]

I find it really hard once she's in bed. The rest of the day is pretty much the same, but once she goes to bed it was previously "our time." Now it's just me being all on my own. It's boring and I often spend my nights wandering around trying to figure out what to do.

I have no answers. For me, the loneliness is the sucky part. I can handle the rest... I only have 1 6-year-old though.

[Pippy&Woof]

I'm feeling the same right now as I sit with my youngest asleep on me, DH nowhere to be seen. My 3 year old DD finally went to bed, but 19 month old DS just wants Dadda. Work is just constant, and when he's not working he has meetings or study things to attend, or going overseas like he is this weekend. He also goes away for several weeks at a time sometimes, and has no holidays. I'm really struggling at the moment, the kids are wearing me down. And on top of all that we have to move out of our house to do huge renovations to fix it. I just feel like I can't get on top of things at the moment..

[~Temet Nosce~]

Yes this is not my section either :p but just wanted to sympathise because I imagine it would be hard having a partner work away, as a sole parent I'm just used to being the only one doing the parenting now but I've had a long time to get used to that, being on and off all the time would be annoying, you'd get yourself set into a routine and then partner comes back, and when they leave again you'd have to adjust to being alone all over again. I also have family close by so if I really need a break I could have one. So :hugs:for you. The one thing that has kept me going is being very strict with making sure my kids are in bed by 7pm, I get a few hours of just 'me' time every night, I watch movies, read, paint, have a bath etc. anything to make me feel human again.

[share a book]

I think the pet idea is great actually. We have a cat who is particularly tolerant and she is happy to get mauled by the children. I can get her inside and she wil entertain the kids long enough for me to have a cuppa.

Also at night when I'm alone if he doesn't get home til late its nice having a companion.

Our kitten is only 10 weeks old this w/e but man it's made a difference! We have our other little man who's 2.5 now and he's been my saviour some nihts lol. I play tug-o-war with him or sit on the couch patting him or pretty much whatever we feel like at that time.

I know it's not my section but I thought it might be helpful to hear from other people who are home alone for any reason. We might not understand what it's like to miss a person but we know what it's like to feel lonely and to want the evening to pass.

[MothersMilk]

Just realised you said you don't have any help (sorry bit asleep still) so ignore my advice about babysitting.
I have very little help, i have in-laws but they are so busy they can't really help much at all but still it is better than nothing and i'm very grateful for the times they can help. That is really the hardest part for me, knowing i can't just call on someone to come help out or take my kids for an hour. Sometimes it feels very overwhelming thinking for the next month (or whatever) i might not get any respite :freakingout:
I really feel for you :hugs::hugs:
If you ever what to talk i am usually around :)