Trying to stop BF 3month old to sleep

[girlwonder]

Looking for some suggestions for my 3 month old. I have been trying to stop BF her to sleep for the last week but it really isn't working. She is now getting very upset before she even gets into her cot. All she wants is to feed so she can sleep!
I don't mind letting her cry, but we have been trying this for a week with no success.

Should I go back to BF her to sleep and try self settling again when she's a bit older?

[jonnysmama]

You can try feeding her until she's drowsy and then rock her til she's asleep. You can work up to putting her down and patting her and then putting her down awake. I did this with my DS and it worked, took a little while for him to realise he wouldn't be fed all the way to sleep.

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[Bubbles10]

I would (and did) breastfeed to sleep. There are sleepy hormones in breastmilk that help bub get to sleep- It is a natural thing for bub and Mum.

Why do you want to stop breastfeeding to sleep at this age?

[TurnedBatty]

It's perfectly okay to continue breastfeeding to sleep if you wish, don't feel bad. If you do want some suggestions check out a book like tizzie hall save our sleep, they have some routines in there so you might get some useful ideas.

[elleandsam]

I breastfeed my 9 month old to sleep, but I also rock him to sleep sometimes, pat him off to sleep other times, and sometimes I feed him until drowsy and then out him in his cot and see what he does and if he cries I pat him off.

Feeding to sleep is only a problem if it's a problem for you. I think of it as tanking up for the night and I know DS is always going to sleep with a full belly.

CCing isn't recommended for babies under 6 months. I found some useful advice in Baby Bliss. It is a hands on settling approach but it works towards self-settling.

I use a variety of different settling methods so then it gives me options if something doesn't work on any particular night. With DD she would only self-settle in her cot, now when we travel and her 'routine' is disrupted it's so difficult to get her to sleep. Whereas DS, well he'll fall asleep anywhere anytime as long as he's tired.

HTH

[girlwonder]

Thanks for that! We might try feeding her almost to sleep and then let hubby finish putting her down. When she smells me she gets upset when she doesn't get fed again!

We wanted to stop because she wasn't having very long day sleeps. Then she'd be tired and want to feed to get back to sleep but she'd get wind and wake up again! Breaking that cycle hasn't really worked this time. :(

Will def try CC when she is a bit older. :)

[87kyles]

When our son was first born we just took it as it comes because there are obviously a lot of things to learn and adjust to. He was also very sleepy so trying not to feed him to sleep was hard as we could barely wake him up to feed. He is now 15 weeks, has been sleeping through the night for over a month and sometimes will whinge when put in his cot to go to sleep but most of the time will gurgle to himself then go to sleep. He wakes up at 5 but is content to gurgle then goes back to sleep till 6:30am which is when we start our day. We have our baby on a flexible routine, 3 1/2 hours now, was 3, I tried 2 1/2 to start but he needed more sleep than that. What we aimed to do was get him to take a 'full' feeding, then have wake time, then go down to sleep for the remaining 1 1/2(depends on time frame) as that is about how much they need (30-45min each of rem and non-rem cycles). By having this routine, it also trains his metabolism as well. Obviously if he seemed hungry or was distressed I would feed him as he is only a baby, but the idea is to stop snacking. It involved a bit of crying at the start which was hard- we made sure when we put him down that he had a clean nappy, wasn't too hot or cold etc and would check on him every 15 minutes and pick him up/pat as necessary. But to have a baby with a happier disposition and who settles himself most of the time, I will definately try this with my next child. I recognise this is not for every parent or even every baby, even now I am happy to feed him to sleep for his last feed, but he is awake afterwards and I just put him back down and he 'talks' himself to sleep.

[proud-mum]

87kyles I'm sorry but it is impossible to "train" a baby to "self settle" at a few months old... My goodness if your baby is sleeping through it is simply because he has lost the will to cry out as he knows Mummy won't respond. Very very sad.

I personally have chosen to be responsive to my sons needs day & night no matter what as that is my job as his Mother, and as hard as it is sometimes seeing the happy, bright, adventurous and loving little boy he has turned into has made it all worth it - every single second of it. His needs and well-being comes before my desires and wants.

Sorry but i really needed to speak my peace.

And to the OP, yes I know it is tough but I think it is beautiful that our little bundles find so much comfort in us to fall asleep. But definitely if you do have a problem with it the poster who said to take bub off when getting drowsy is the best idea. It will be a bit tricky at first and will take time but have patience! Also I use a baby hammock and it worked wonders for rocking bub to sleep - and yes they grow out of it :) good luck!

ETA: oh sorry, saw this was in pro CC once I posted - my mistake! But a lot of experts agree that CC under a certain age is especially harmful as bub is learning to trust you to meet his needs etc. just FYI


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[Boobycino]

I know this is the pro CC section, but maybe get no cry sleep solution from the library because there's a pretty good section on 'weaning' off feeding to sleep. Just different techniques to gradually get them to self settle without sucking to sleep. It could be incorporated with minor grizzles. I did let jasper grizzle to sleep at 2 months and found if he went down at the right time (like I got the 'signs' and timing right) wrapped, laid down, walked out he'd grumble while I put like a load of washing on, like I'd go and do something that would take 1-2 mins. Then if he still wasnt asleep I'd rock/feed him to sleep. Then try again at the next sleep. (then I'd put the washing in the dryer ;) ) and worst case scenario he'd still need to be put to sleep, BUT at least I'd get the washing done!!!

[Boobycino]

THOUGH even self settling he wouldn't REsettle. It's a 'myth' that babies that put themselves to sleep will resettle themselves between sleep cycles. Jasper never did. He'd often wake around 45mins, if I timed it well I could quickly wriggle his tummy and 'rock' him back to sleep, otherwise 30 seconds of boob he'd be back to sleep for another 45 mins.

[girlwonder]

Hi mums,

Thanks for all your help, suggestions and support! Bubsy is 6 months old and we have been self settling for about a week and a half now.
After a nightmare holiday where she refused to even feed to sleep and would only sleep in the pram or car, we decided things had to change. My staunchly no-cry husband was at the point of saying 'just let her cry!' I couldn't do that without a plan and strategy, so when we got home we picked a day and some strategies and started then. She seemed to 'get' the idea quite quickly and would call or sing out, maybe grizzle for 10-15 mins then go to sleep.
I was totally amazed at how quickly it happened and I haven't fed her to sleep since.

Most importantly for us, she is getting a lot more sleep and is sooooo much happier and content for it. I used to hate reading posts like this because my baby was always so hard to get to sleep. But I can't believe the change that has happened. She was really ready to stop feeding to sleep and I just had to give her a chance and some support to get there.

It's by no means perfect- there are still times when she starts getting worked up and we go for a walk or drive so she can sleep more easily.

Thanks for all your ideas and support!! :hugs:

[vickyloader]

It's perfectly okay to continue breastfeeding to sleep if you wish, don't feel bad. If you do want some suggestions check out a book like tizzie hall save our sleep, they have some routines in there so you might get some useful ideas.

I'm not against CC - used it with my first child successfully and am doing so with my second now to get rid of his dummy, he's 6 months old). BUT I cannot recommend Tizzie Hall's book for a three month old. I tried it that early with my first child and she barely slept for 2 days - she was just too young I think.

Good luck with the changes you are trying to make though.