Don't fit in

[SimplyMum]

Hi, I'm 21 and have a DS who is 1. I'm just wondering if anyone experiences the same feeling of not relating to people your own age? I go to a playgroup and there are girls there my own age with young kids- but no matter how hard I try I just feel as if I don't fit in. Although, when I go to another playgroup with older ladies (mostly married) I find I can relate to them allot more.

Am I just weird or does anyone else feel this as well?:confused:

[Little Gorilla]

Yeah, I can relate....I'm 29 and I seem to relate better to women that are in their mid 30's rather than a little younger than me.

It doesn't mean you are weird....its just who you get along with more - you obviously have more in common interest wise etc or maybe they are just easier to talk to and not so catty:confused: who knows.

But you aren't weird...:no:

[pookiesossige]

I'm 24 and only have a few friends in their 20's, the rest are in their 30's. My husband is 30, so admittedly most of my friends are his also, or are the wives of his workmates etc. I have never really identified well with ppl my own age. I studied with mostly mature aged students- some really fantastic people- but none my own age. It's been the best thing because I don't struggle with people who can't identify with this stage of life with a young family and I'm lucky to know some lovely, caring, mature people :yes:

[Crazy Bananas]

I started going to playgroup with dd when i was 22. I think there was one other person my age everyone else was about 10 years older. It was about 3 months before i kinda fit in ended up that i got preggas with ds stopped going. I decided to go back after dear son was born, people remembered me from last time & going was better than before. Most of the ladies only had one child and i had two, so they ended up coming up to me seeking advice about having two children. Even though i was ten years their junior. I think that you click with some people no matter what the age difference is. I still go to playgroup nearly 27 years old now preggas with ds3 due in 3 weeks (only one at playgroup to have 3 children lol) which shocks a few people when they ask how many children i have. I talk to whoever is nice basically and can have a laugh with. I think everyone is scared about fitting in so i try to say hello to everyone. I think most people just care if your nice or not. :)

[tweedledee*tweedledum]

I'm 25 and the mother's group I went to was VERY cliquey and being a group for twins, they were quite competetive about development, weight etc. Most of the woman were older than me, except for 1 and they also were a lot of second time mums and IVF mums, so I was a bit out of the loop there. Also, I am Canadian so for some reason, the women there thought they had to explain everything they were saying like I didn't understand English or something! I am married to an Aussie, so I am pretty used to the "lingo" and I don't need 50 translators! Some of them were mean and rude about certain choices I had made with my children, like not co-sleeping, which I told them I felt was impossible, as 4 of us in bed was just not manageable! I only went for 8 weeks and then decided that I was never likely to ever be friends with any of them and stopped going. No-one even rang to see how I was or where I was, so it pretty much confirmed I was an outsider! Since then, I have met some people in my area and we catch up and it is so much more relaxed and I am a lot happier.

[Bubsta]

I'm the same, I'm 20 and due to have my 2nd in 3 & a bit weeks! I started taking my Daughter to playgroup about a month ago, and find i relate to people much older then me, i get on with people in thier 40's etc better then mothers and people around the same age as me. I've always been like that before i had kids and found it hard to make friends because of it. I wouldnt say your werid or got anything wrong with you, just on a different level then most your age. I find alot of mothers i know around my age are up for drinking all the time and not being too responsible and leave thier kids with thier parents etc all the time to go out and get drunk. It just comes down to the person i spose :)

[cheezelkat]

I'm 22 and all my friends are 25+.

[SweetSerenity]

I know how you feel!
Im 21, have one friend who i went to primary scholl with who also has a child but all my other mummy friends are like 26+.... Im the youngest ha ha :) So i can totally relate!

[MummyCharmzy]

I feel the same but I didn't when I only had one child. When I was 17 DS and I attended a young mums playgroup and although I was the youngest by far I still related well to them. Now at 21 with 4 children (3 of mine and stepson whos with us sun - thurs) I just can't relate to any in the same group anymore, I'm the 'average' age in the group I occasionally go to now but they all have one child aged 1 and under... no 4/5 yr old children, no 2/3/4 children etc etc... I don't mind too much though, I have plenty of friends all different ages which I relate to in different ways! :)

[Billy]

Yeah its the same here... My younger (childless) friends just don't get that I can't do all the same things (at least not ALL the time :p ) as I used too...
So have many more friends now who are older... I'm 24 :D

[susiehomemaker]

lol- if you are wierd then we all must be wierd together :-D Im 23, and all of my friends are around 30, and I get along with them much better than people my own age! (mostly anyhow :-) Ive only got 2 friends who are my age, my best mate from high school (and she doesnt count- she is like a sister) and another v good friend who I met through work when I was just out of school. The rest are all 29-39 and have children- it is so much easier, they just have the same values as me. Lucky my best mate is like a sister, and always comes around and just hangs out with DD & I and likes the changes in my household! She actually likes the change of pace that she feels when she walks through the door & makes a point of comming around at least once a week. The rest of the time she is a feral party animal (lol- kindly meant- *hugsforlisy* My other friend my age just had her DS last saturday, but we have been on the same page since my pregnancy started & she does the same sort of things (she just had a few hiccups timewise getting to her ds) If it was not for these two girls then none of my friends would be my age!!!
I dont know how things will go with my friend who has just had the baby though- she is already planning to go back to work because she has to (financially) and I think she may be a little resentful that I have not had to go back as yet.... Has anyone else had this kind of experience?

[vegie]

I so know what you mean. I used to be the PARTY girl out of all my friends, and alot of them are younger than me, However now I'm a mum, I can't even get a conversation out of them, coz we have totally different interests. I find now, that it's ok, because I've made alot of new older friends who have the same views and interests, and age really doesn't have anything to do with it. Yes, I miss my old life, but I wouldn't trade my son or my life now for anybody or anything in the whole world. You'll be okay girl. It's hard at first, but go for it!!!:hugs:

[vegie]

To laurasmummy, I had to go back to work when my son was 5 months, and it destroyed me every day. I'm a stay at home mum now, because we can now afford it. I think maybe try to be as supportive as possible, (especially emotionally) and keep doing things together with the kids on weekends eg. park excursions etc. it'll be good for your friendship, and your kids. Good luck. I'm sure she's lucky to have a fried like you.

[*~alegna~*]

there is NOTHING wrong with you at all.

I think, like afew have already said that it doesn't matter how old you are, sometimes you just relate to ppl in a different &/or better way.

There is no harm in having older or younger friends...it's not like being in highschool where you can't befriend the yr 8's if your a senior or vise-versa.

Hope you make lots more friends...its a feat in its self regardless of whether you take age into consideration, the more the better

:hugs: xx