do you ever resent your partnar for 'not being there'???

[TheSudgestionator]

...

[shinebrite]

Well sometimes, like last night when all I wanted to do was sit down to a movie and desperately needed a break after a hard week of cranky testing children but hubby got called out at 8 at night i think it was came home a couple of hrs later... It's hard and it's times like those or when I have to still do all the dinner bath bed routine as well as starting the day at 6am that I just wish he could be with me... But the $ is paying the bills as well... Hugs to you...


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Mummie to
Lucy Alys (July '06)
Minnie Audrey (July '09)
Pippi Violet (oct '11)

[TinyLittleTootsies]

Some times. I do if he does a favour and does a shift for someone else who wants to go to an event or party etc and says "well we wouldn't be doing anything, we have kids and they know that I can't say no". I really makes me annoyed because the girls miss out on a quality day with him so that some unmarried guy gets to go to his party. THAT annoys me.

Over all though, he has to work a lot for his job and he doesn't get a choice, he can't not move up as it is required that you do each year or you don't get a job. The hours are required to do the job and aren't because he is picking them up usually, so I can't resent him for something he has to do.

The only option for less hours is a different job and he is doing it because it is his passion, not for the money.

What I resent is that 8 years of uni = less then what most of our friends make in easy jobs. It will get better but not for years. It sucks to be alone so much and not even have a nice house or shopping to console myself with :p:p

[jadee22]

I don't resent him as such but I do get frustrated at times when I am doing things alone... again! Kindy orientation with a 15 month old hanging off my hip will be fun next week. So is dragging the little one to his brother's swimming lesson every week.

It is lucky that a lot of my friends are in the same position. We plan events for when the boys will be home.

Sorry you are finding it tough atm :(

[happygirl1982]

I'm still utd but we have dss 50/50 my partner does work six days a week leaves at 6. Home at 6 maybe 5 depending where he works. I never get angry or resent. Cause if it wasn't for that we wouldn't eat! I tell his mum how proud she should be that she has a son who has such strong work ethic. Never complains about work or about going . We thank him !

[TheSudgestionator]

...

[love05]

Yes, because I know he can get a job close to home with the same pay, if he just got off his butt and took action! DH missed the birth of our son, he knew I was in hospital bleeding & having contractions, but still went to work 2hrs away on night shift!! Took me about a year to stop being mad about that one - DS was born at 31 weeks and I had a traumatic birth with nobody I knew with me.

[TheSudgestionator]

Aww loving5 thats horrible :( *tears* that really is so sad. I can understand why it took you so long to forgive your DH!! i would have been ropeable for a very long time.

[tootiredtosleep]

I do sometimes, and he also resents me working overtime too. We argue a fair bit about work, we both love our jobs and find it hard when the hours clash, or we don't see each other for days. I've spent the weekend alone with the kids cause DH is working, and I have been called into work tonight and he isn't happy about that. So yeah, i think we both feel resentment sometimes, but it's just what we have to do.

[shinebrite]

Yes, because I know he can get a job close to home with the same pay, if he just got off his butt and took action! DH missed the birth of our son, he knew I was in hospital bleeding & having contractions, but still went to work 2hrs away on night shift!! Took me about a year to stop being mad about that one - DS was born at 31 weeks and I had a traumatic birth with nobody I knew with me.

Awe I don't know how I'd forgive that! U poor luv xx


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Mummie to
Lucy Alys (July '06)
Minnie Audrey (July '09)
Pippi Violet (oct '11)

[MothersMilk]

Yep. Mostly when we all get sick and he is not there to help - it is really hard for me with no support and yeah i totally resent him when i'm alone with 2 sick kids.
When we are well i don't feel resentment.

[shinebrite]

Totally resenting dh today... Feeding newborn who I got no sleep from last night... 2 eldest girls are being absolute nightmares!!! Dh worked until 11 Wednesday and thursday, Friday was a 6:30 home time and has worked from 7 till late yesterday and today... When can a mumma catch a break?!?! I have a house inspection on Tuesday!! I HATE renting!!!! Can't wait until we start building... The stress is killing me!!!


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Mummie to
Lucy Alys (July '06)
Minnie Audrey (July '09)
Pippi Violet (oct '11)

[tasha1984]

Only because DD has recurrent and severe tonsilitis and sinusitis. But only ever gets it when he is away.

She will have it every 2nd swing and always has it from the night he leaves until the night before he comes back.

We also have no family here as we moved to WA from NSW so no respite at all.

Being pregnant and getting no sleep for 2 weeks straight is no fun at all.

Otherwise, I love him to bits and appreciate what he's doing for our family every day.




Brain, brain, gone away, will come back another day.

[Annabella]

My husband only works away a few times a year and only for a couple of days at a time, but his hours are all over the place inc most weekends. He also loves having 'me time', which really is 'him', not me and the kids when he does have a break so when you put the two together he's not around much. I go to pretty much everything on my own with the kids and rely heavily on friends for help when things clash as his job is so inflexible.

I do really resent him a lot. I hate feeling like this as I am grateful fir him providing for us, but realistically he does it coz he loves it, not to provide.

[trishalishous]

we have compromised, and live very frugally to be together more.
If we wanted to spend more, we'd need to be apart more, so this suits us

[Cheerilee]

:yes: I do at times. He is not working away for this 6 months but he is going back to it next year (at the moment he is doing shift work). I resent that I am stuck here and he is overseas seeing things as well as working. I resent that he gets time with nothing to do.

Makes it a little difficult as he is not the father of my kids either so it is pretty petty as well! I do know this, but the feelings are still there.

[Tiger Lilly]

My DH flew out this morning for 5 weeks on one week off. It does get to you after a while and it is hard doing everything on your own all the time.
I have a 4 month old and 15 y.o - crazy I know :freakingout:
Worst thing that annoys me is that they have such a carefree life working away, everything is done for them, go to work, clock off then they can have all that time to themselves doing whatever they want.
I too used to work away so I know how carefree it can be, no hassels about bills, landlords, kids, supermarkets, cleaning, cooking etc etc. It's usually all done for you.
I do resent the fact that he can just sleep whenever he wants (after work of corse) but then when he comes home he doesn't want to do much as he is TOO TIRED!! Ahhh
Sorry I am venting . . . but I can totally understand the frustration other mums have when their partners are working away.
I truly believe that at the end of the day, life is far too short & money isn't everything. I know it makes things more comfortable but the loss of the family unit is far more important. I just wish he could see it that way too.

[Pina Colada]

I don't really resent him.....I feel sorry for him. He is the one that misses out on so much of the kids, I get them all day, every day. He suffers much more then I do, although I have been doing this for a long time, and now the kids are older (6, 4 and 3) things are so much easier for me, things were probably different in the beginning.

He is just kicking off his last project away, then we will be settling back down at home, no more moving, no more time away. I can't wait! Will be fantastic for all of us.