waking during the night I NEED HELP

[belinda]

ok i need advice on how to get my boy back to sleep the last couple of weeks he has woken up everynight and just wont go back to sleep.. he has been sleeping through since he was 8 weeks old but thing have changed he just stirs for a while before crying and i go in and put his dummie back in but he doesnt want it... i dont talk to him lok at him and i walk and and he just screams. i then rock him and he falls asleep and he is dead to the world then i put him down and he screams so he has been sleeping with me when he wakes up and he is fine stirs a little but no screaming and also it is always at 11 or 12 and he goes to bed at 6.30pm.
But i dont really want him to get used to sleeping with me.. i have tried feeding him but he doesnt want that either.....

if any one could help me it would be great i dont know what to do as i am just so tired...

also can they be scared of the dark? as it always happenes about an hour after huby and i have gone to bed.

sorry to write so much

belinda

[xkwzit]

Hi Belinda
I don't mean to be trite, but do you think this might be a "phase". They all change so much when they are little and I know it feels like forever when you are in the middle of it, but I really tried not to be too worried when DDs made little changes for the worse because they always seemed to snap out of it themselves. My first guess would be feeding, but you've tried that already. Maybe its teething or some other discomfort. Is he too hot/cold of does he have a blocked nose from a cold?

DD1 didn't like the dark, and she was about 18 months old when that started. We've an old Queenslander with breeze ways above the doors, so she never went to sleep in total darkness. Every night about 10 minutes after hubby and I went to bed she'd be crying, a night light fixed it.

Best of luck, I'm sure you'll work it out together.

[JanetF]

Sounds like a very normal baby behaviour to me. Did you know that eye contact increases oxytocin production? That's the hormone that helps us relax and sleep. Put yourself in your baby's shoes. You wake up distressed and alone, you call out for help and someone comes in and won't look you in the eye or speak to you even though you're obviously distressed. I wouldn't be comforted by that, and probably you wouldn't be either. You're a lucky mama to be getting such clear instructions from your baby. If he doesn't need to be fed, but he sleeps with you in your bed, then obviously he needs to sleep in bed with you right now. My son has coslept from day 1 and I've never had a sleepless night because I never have to get up. If you take out the walking around trying to get him to sleep and just pop him in bed with you, you'll all sleep much better and get lots of lovely cuddles! What could be better? :D Babies just need to be close sometimes, like adults do too when we feel a bit lost and sad. And for him, no one even speaks the same language as him so it could be pretty isolated, KWIM? Cosleeping with your bub will bring you lots more sleep, and him lots more comfort. He may just be teething, or experiencing a change in his sleep cycles. Perfectly normal, babies change all the times. The best parenting mantra is "This too shall pass" In a few short years he'll be too busy to stop and cuddle you, so get all the cuddles in now that you can. *hugs* and lovely sleepy vibes coming your way ~~~~~ There's lots of cosleeping info on the forums. Enjoy :D

[Melissa1983]

Welcome to my world, and they are nearly 3 and 2. But since putting a nemo light in there rooms they seem to be sleeping most the night. So he could be afraid of the dark. Mikayla won't go to sleep unless a light is on now, so i think she was afraid.

Good luck

[Chickadee]

I'm a big fan of patting in the cot. By all means pick bub up and cuddle or rock till he calms down, but put him back down before he's asleep and pat his bum fairly firmly so his body is getting the rocking. You can try him on his side, or on his tummy, whichever he prefers. You might need to hold his shoulder to get him to stay put - if he really kicks up to a hysterical cry then don't try to hold him still but keep patting if you can. As he settles you decrease the pace and strength of the patting, ideally stopping before he completely dozes off.

I followed this routine plus a few other tricks when DD was 3 to 4 months. It took at least 2 hard weeks to break through, but since then she's been a dream to put to bed most times. Even now, at 22 months, if she's over tired or upset in the night I start patting and she settles within a few minutes.

Good luck.

Oh, and just to add, don't feel bad for hesitating to co-sleep, it's not for everyone. I did when DD was under 10 weeks, but when I tried later she was so constantly restless in the bed and I was so aware of her that I only ever slept lightly and might as well have been getting up and down to her in her cot.

[mariafresnel]

MarthaM, we need to know your other tricks you did as well as patting......do tell.....I think I need any other tricks at this stage - only if you're happy to share them withus.....thanks a million, Maria

[belinda]

thanks for all the advice everyone he seemed alot better last night but i am sure it will pass....

marthaM thanks for those wounderul tips.....
and thanks to everyones elses great tips THANKS

belinda

[Chickadee]

MarthaM, we need to know your other tricks you did as well as patting......do tell.....I think I need any other tricks at this stage - only if you're happy to share them withus.....thanks a million, Maria

I've written out the method I was taught a couple times on here, didn't want to sound like a broken record! lol. Basically it's a combination of getting the timing right (first tired sign), patting, holding by the shoulder, making a "naaah naaah" droning kind of noise like a creaking door, and having a very confident voice. No pleading tone - you're telling them it's time to sleep not asking them. Some babes copy the naaah naah eventually and use it as part of self-settling. Being able to let them cry a little and recognise their cries is also part of it - you respond to hysterical cries, but don't bother trying to pat till it reaches a peak and starts to wind down.

But it's been awhile, let me see if I can find the other threads where I might have made more sense! Try here: Settling Problems (http://www.bubhub.com.au/community/forums/showthread.php?p=6428&highlight=settling#post6428) It really may help to get in touch with some of the parenting help and baby sleep clinics. We have Ngala here in WA and I've heard mention of Tresilian and Riverton in other states.

Good luck. A babe with good sleep patterns is well worth a few weeks of hard effort.

[BigDyl]

our technique is tired our boy out.

at the start Dyl was the perfect sleeper. we thought we were in for an easy ride. then he started his "phase". he began waking up 2-3 times in the middle of the night. sometimes for a feed other time just to play. feed was easy enough, however the playing was tiresome. still, you have to appreicate that they are babies and ain't yet inflected with our body clock.

so i guess patience and understanding is the only way one could approach this... that along with rocking, patting and humming them a soothing tone. i've being humming the opening tone to "star wars" to Dyl forever now and he recognizes it as a sign for sleep time. bit bottle of milk ofr his nightcap does go astray either.

well, luckily for us his "phase" is comng to an end and now he's sleeping most of the night. (see there is a light at the end of the tunnel). because Dyl is eating more solids throughout the day; having only two 2 hour naps in a day; racing on all fours like he's on caffeine; and going to bed later in evening (about 10pm), we find that he sleeps better because he's genuinely tired. as a result, Dyl now only stirs at about 5am for a feed, suckle it down with his eyes close and finally wakes up after 8am. it fantastic.

anyway, that's my 2 cents worth. and don't worry, sleep will be your friend again... soon :) just have to find a routine that works for you both.