Using cc through the night?

[spideysmummy]

Do you use cc to get baby to sleep initially, or through the night??

Ds was waking at 3am for a feed. Then he started on solids about 3 weeks ago and started sleeping through. For the last week he has taken to waking about 2am and just crying / wanting to play etc.

I let him grizzle for a bit, put his dummy back in, give him a pat and walk out. If I leave him he ends up full on screaming and I struggle to settle him. If he's just grizzling I can settle him with a cuddle but he won't go back to sleep. So I've been bringing him into bed with us from 3 - 4am after being up with him for over an hour.

Is cc something to use in this situation? Dh wanted to let him cry it out tonight but he put him in his cot, closed the door came back into bed and rolled over to go to sleep. I asked if he was going back to sleep and hr said yes I'm exhausted I can't keep waking up. WTF I'm the one that gets up and now I'm the one that has to listen to him cry. So that lasted a whole 2 minutes.

Anyway sorry for venturing slightly off topic there, is cc the sort of thing that may help in this situation?

I should add that I've tried feeding, changing, teething gel and a whole heap of other things that don't work.

[WorkingClassMum]

Nup, CC is not ever a good thing to do IMO ever, day or night, and contrary to some people's opinion, solids do not make a baby a good sleeper.

Babies do not come with an automatic sense of night = sleep. This is learnt behavior. Also babies tums are tiny, so they will be hungry every six hours, especially when then have a growth spurt

How old is your baby?

[hopefully2]

How old is bub?

[Lily of the Nile]

I'm guessing your baby is still young? No I don't think cc is your answer, I think your bub is crying for a reason if it's not usual and I guess you have to figure it out, my bub is 7 months and this does happen though :( but it improves. IMO do what works even if that means co sleeping. Crying it out is probably the worst thing you can do for a baby, you're essentially ignoring the baby in distress and it won't help him :( I know it's hard being up all night though, maybe a visit to the gp and check his throat and ears might be a start and rule out reflux or other medical causes?

[hopefully2]

Has he just learnt a new skill? Sitting, rolling etc. This wakes them as they want to practise and play at night. I would say he is teething. Did you offer any pain relief?

[giveitago]

I also agree that solids doesn't = better sleep.

I can feed miss 7 months solids at 5pm. By 7pm she is ravenous for a breastfeed. I think solids and milk fill different needs, hence why we don't feed babies an entire diet of solids. There is obviously something in milk that they NEED. So a full belly of solids doesn't miraculously mean great sleep.

My daughter has slept through since 8 weeks. With maybe a handful of night wakeups in 5 months. This past week she has woken once a night. There is no way no how that I would let her cry herself to sleep.

She CAN sleep though, she DOES sleep through 98% of the time. So for her to wake, there must be a reason. She's just sprouted teeth, she has a bit of a cold, and she's learning new skills. Whatever the reason is, its my job to comfort her. It's not my job to teach her that I'm only open to her needs during the day, and if she wakes at night she can just cry herself to sleep. Straight on the boob for a feed and she can be popped straight back in her cot to calmly and quietly send herself back off to sleep.

Give bubs cuddles or milk, whatever helps. Hopefully this is just a phase and you'll be back to sleeping through soon.

Also, is bubs in a Wonder Week?


**** I can spell, honestly! It's my iPhone's fault ****

[hopefully2]

Good advice. What is a wonder week?

[spideysmummy]

Okay I didn't post to be told cc is wrong. I was curious as to HOW people use it because I know it is successful for many.

I also know that solids does not = sleeping through it just happened at the same time. Also co sleeping does not work for us, ds wakes more in our room & I wake more as he's a noisy sleeper.

He is 6 months.

Thanks for all the replies but I wont be posting in this section again.

[spideysmummy]

And I don't leave my baby to cry if you read my post. I let him grizzle to see if he will self settle but I never let him cry.

He has teething gel & panadol for his teeth. And OF COURSE I do attend to his needs day and night. I am his mother, and a good one at that.

[giveitago]

Wonder weeks are about age related developmental leaps. I think the website is www.wonderweeks.com
They have an iPhone app and my daughter follows their stages almost to the day.


**** I can spell, honestly! It's my iPhone's fault ****

[giveitago]

And I don't leave my baby to cry if you read my post. I let him grizzle to see if he will self settle but I never let him cry.

He has teething gel & panadol for his teeth. And OF COURSE I do attend to his needs day and night. I am his mother, and a good one at that.

I wasn't having a go at your ability as a mother.
I was simply explaining what we do here and the reasoning behind why I do it.

Wasn't a targeted shot at you. Was trying to help.

My point was. You know your baby CAN sleep through. So perhaps there is a reason.

If I thought you were are a bad mother I would not have bothered posting at all.


**** I can spell, honestly! It's my iPhone's fault ****

[giveitago]

I apologise for posting in the wrong area though. I replied to a new topic, didn't see the area.
Would not have replied if I knew it was in pro-controlled crying area.

And once again, I never said you were a bad mother.


**** I can spell, honestly! It's my iPhone's fault ****

[elleandsam]

This is the pro-CC section, so although I don't personally agree with CC I hope I can give you a suggestion that might help.

If you're not comfortable with CIO have you thought about doing some hands on settling or trying the Babybliss technique?

Basically you leave baby in the cot but pat and shush until they fall asleep. Let the firmness of the pat and volume of the shush reflect the intensity of the cry, if they're amping up instead of winding down pick them up, hug and rock until calm and then back into the cot and go again.

This is what we did. We went cold turkey no dummy as well. And it's worked great, most nights DS now sleeps 10-11 hours without waking.

It's a good medium between rocking/patting to sleep and because you're right there baby is comforted and supported. I've now started feeding him until drowsy then popping him down and walking away, he usually either falls straight to sleep or talks to himself for a while but the minute he's crying I'm there patting him and calming him.

I know it's not controlled crying like what you wanted, but even if I did believe in CC, I have a 2 year old trying to sleep in the very next room... :freakingout:

[Michelle_N]

Okay.....now here is some pro pro-controlled crying advice! ;)

I used a form of controlled crying called 'controlled comforting' with both my DSs and will again when this bubs is born.

http://raisingchildren.net.au/articles/controlled_comforting.html

Like you I do everything possible to figure out what is wrong. Are they hot/cold? Hungry? Wet/dry? Teething/pain? Pandol/Nurofen? And will try all those things before I do the cc.

Basically you go in and try to settle (like patting, etc), then you leave. If still crying go in after 5 mins and do it again. Then after another increment do it again.

It honestly worked a treat as I wasnt going to fall into the trap of bringing bubs into bed with me as when you start that it is soooo hard to stop - even tho you may be so desperate for sleep!

I am not a fan of co-sleeping as my bed is for me and my DP. Its the one place in the house that is ours. The kiddies seem to run the rest of the house :laughing:....I cant even go to the toilet in peace so I want to keep my bed for me and DP.

I cant remember how long it took....some nights it was two times of having to go back and settle. Some nights a little longer. But once you get over those humps of where they wake for some unknown reason, they do go back to their normal sleep patterns.

I like this method and it works for me and my two sons. I wouldnt hesitate to do it again. My sons are now 6 and 4 and they dont have any attachment or developmental issues that 'some' people will say.

Good luck and I hope you get some other pro ccers here for you!

[soccer mum]

Hello, as per the last poster this isnt CC but we use something called assisted settling, where we wrap bubs and we have wheels on the cot. Once we are sure its only her being overtired and not hunger, pain, etc, we rock the cot back and forth, which nearly always sends bub off to sleep. They will grizzle etc but you are there with them still until they doze off, this has worked really well for us. I havent done CC so cant say one way or the other about that but it cant hurt to try rocking or patting if you havent already.

[soccer mum]

Oh sorry if this post sounded like telling you what to do, just thought Id say bcos what you describe sound similar to my DD and the rocking does work for us

[Lily of the Nile]

I wasn't having a go at your abilities as a mother nor did I suggest anything about you personally. I know this is a cc section but as a mother of 2 babies I was offering advice on what can be other causes, cc is not the solution to every non sleeping baby. And you said your dh suggested cio, and I think its not the way to treat a 6 month old baby because cio simply = ignoring. I don't know why I can't say that without offending, I'm not saying you are ignoring your baby but cio would be yes and sorry if thats upsetting to anyone.

[SWandSH]

Not entering into the debate but I will say this. Babies WILL cry if they are super tired and cannot get back to sleep. Imagine it yourself. How annoying is it to wake up and not get back to sleep. Babies cannot switch the light on and read, count sheep, watch tv or surf the net, so they cry, pure and utter frustration. I feel bad that in the past I have given my baby meds because I thought it was pain. In retrospect it was just being over tired.
Babies sleep patterns change all the time. Just because yours was once able to sleep through the night doesn't mean they will always be able to do that changes in development mean changes in ability. So in short, I think, if you can rule out all the obvious things for your baby waking then your situation is probably suited to some sort of sleep training.

Btw I think it's a bit unfair that you are subjected to critisism of your parenting in the pro- cc section. Some people...tut tut...

[up the duff]

Btw I think it's a bit unfair that you are subjected to critisism of your parenting in the pro- cc section. Some people...tut tut...

I agree :yes:. I think there are lots of different ways of doing things, and its a bit upsetting when asking things in a pro-whatever section people tell you that they wouldn't do it. Its like you going to the natural/attachment parenting section and telling them to give CC a go. Everyone it entitled to do things how suits them and their family best.
Anyway I think try a few different things and see how they feel for you - also different babies react differently to different methods (some get more worked up the more you go in), but some don't. With my DD she could self settle really well initially but for her daytime sleeps she could NEVER go past 45 mins, often shorter. She was always grumpy, clingey and sad. I tried hands on settling etc with her, and then out of desperation I left her CIO one day. She honestly cried for 20 mins, and then twice a day from then on she slept for at least 2 hours every day sleep. To me, thats worth it! SHe was a totally different baby - so much happier, etc becasue she was sleeping better. My DS seems to like a bit more of hands on settling, and while I find it difficult and have to psych myself up to do it (hence my give me some encouragment thread!), I have just this week set a 5 min rule at night before I go in to him. He has been stopping after about 3 mins, and the other night slept until 4.30 :hyper: he hasnt done that for MONTHS!! If he is still crying at 5 mins I just do shhh-patting until he is settled and then leave when he's settled. Anyway, good-luck finding something that works. Lots of :hugs: to you, it is challenging, but I think the outcome for me is worth it. Im a better mummy, wife and everything when I get sleep in more than two hour blocks ;)

[Lily of the Nile]

The question was is cc used in this situation. My answer was no. Thats not criticsm and I don't appreciate being accused of something that's not there.
Next time maybe the question can be worded differently like 'I want to do cc, how do I do it in this situation'
Its a shame people don't appreciate different opinions and suggestions and take everything as a personal attack? :no:

[WorkingClassMum]

Btw I think it's a bit unfair that you are subjected to critisism of your parenting in the pro- cc section. Some people...tut tut...

BTW - FYI - you cannot see what 'section' a post is in from an iPhone or iPad - Just sayin'...;)

[SWandSH]

Workingclassmum- yes I am aware of that, I use an iPad. It is the responsibility of the poster to be aware of the section in which they are posting. It seems to me that its only when people post in the pro-cc section that they are "unaware" of the section in which they are posting....coincidence? Perhaps...

[WorkingClassMum]

Workingclassmum- yes I am aware of that, I use an iPad. It is the responsibility of the poster to be aware of the section in which they are posting. It seems to me that its only when people post in the pro-cc section that they are "unaware" of the section in which they are posting....coincidence? Perhaps...

Nup - not a coincidence and most certainly NOT intentional either if if that's what you are implying - if you'd care to check a few other sections I've seen it happen a fair bit

[Hannahly]

Nup - not a coincidence and most certainly NOT intentional either if if that's what you are implying - if you'd care to check a few other sections I've seen it happen a fair bit

Actually you can see why section you are posting in from an iPhone/iPad. It is the blue title with the @xxx (being the section) directly above all the posts in that section.

[peasmum]

And I don't leave my baby to cry if you read my post. I let him grizzle to see if he will self settle but I never let him cry.

He has teething gel & panadol for his teeth. And OF COURSE I do attend to his needs day and night. I am his mother, and a good one at that.

I haven't read the whole thread yet but I wanted to reply to you and say I am sure you are a great mother!!
I do the same as you and sometimes my 10 month old's grizzles escalate into a cry and I try to settle him in his cot, but most of the time he self settles after a minute or two. Quite a change from him only been able to sleep in our bed a month or so ago. Good luck

[WorkingClassMum]

Actually you can see why section you are posting in from an iPhone/iPad. It is the blue title with the @xxx (being the section) directly above all the posts in that section.

I dont know what @xxx you're referring to, when I touch 'Today's Posts' there is NO indication which section a thread is in - only if you access via 'Forum' then you can open section by section

[NancyBlackett]

I dont know what @xxx you're referring to, when I touch 'Today's Posts' there is NO indication which section a thread is in - only if you access via 'Forum' then you can open section by section

Are you using the app?

[WorkingClassMum]

Are you using the app?

no I access through Safari

[jennibear]

OP, Do what you are comfortable t=with. I my experience though, doing CC crying through the night doesnt work. Whe you are tired the last thing you want its to listen to your bub cry. IMHO, if you want to try CC, do it durig the day when you've got the energy (hopefully).
Both my bubs got pretty unsettled at around 6 months. I thin the most important thing to do at this time is to try and not create bad habits...eg, rocking/patting to sleep. Of course go to bub when they need you, but give them the oportunity to figure it out for themselves.
When bub wakes at night leave him for a bit to see if he settle himself. if that doesnt work try to settle him without rocking/patting, if he still doesnt settle, try a cuddle/ rock/ pat. Teh if you've tried everything feed him.
I use this order of things and they soon get back to sleeping through.
6 months is hard, they are learning new things and want to practice them all the time.
Just be sure to keep night time dark so he remembers day and night time.
PS, some people on this forum are very quick to judge and voice their opinions...just ignore them!!!! :no:

[Bub1WA]

Our son is almost 6 months and has gone from being a very settled bub thru the night and slept thru at 3 months and now he is waking every so often during the night. I think it is cos he is learning new skills. We try giving him the dummy & then the 5 min grizzle pat and shush and wait 5 mins again.

Hope this helps :)

[munchkin80]

Okay I didn't post to be told cc is wrong. I was curious as to HOW people use it because I know it is successful for many.

I also know that solids does not = sleeping through it just happened at the same time. Also co sleeping does not work for us, ds wakes more in our room & I wake more as he's a noisy sleeper.

He is 6 months.

Thanks for all the replies but I wont be posting in this section again.

Hi there, I used CC, I see alot of people are against it, but I see it as a survival technique... we started using it with out daughter when she was 5 months old, in my opinion it helps them realise that there is nothing to cry about if you don't react to every sook, or to look at it in a different light, if you do react to every sook, it re-inforces to them that they needed you and weren't able to sleep on their own, and you know when your baby is really distressed and when to go in, but in most cases they are crying for attention only, not because they need sometihng (or at least that's what I found with my dd) it didn't take long and she just gave up and would re-settle in less than 30 secs of waking all by herself. The first time it took about 40 mins, we didn't go in at all, just let her cry it all out - it was the hardest thing I have had to do, but the best... and the length of time halved each nght after that until she just talked herself to sleep. I know people who have tried and couldn't do it, and they are slaves to their kids who wake all the time ( as toddlers now) and have just accepted that kids = no sleep, which is fine if they are prepared to do it, but I am not, and am proud that my daughter is such a good sleeper now and we are all well rested and happier for it, dd is now 22 months and I am 30 weeks preg, and have just moved her to a big girl bed so have a whole new kettle of fish to fry, so there is always something that keeps us on our toes, but so far so good still, I wish you courage and luck for this one :hugs:

[Spazzy]

Hi Spideysmummy,

We have been going through the exact same thing with DS (who is 7 months old) for the last month or so. After many sleepless nights, I saw a CHN and she explained to me about seperation anxiety (apprently very common at this age). She also suggested that we give DS a dream feed, which we do at about 11pm each night. Sometimes it works and he wont wake until 5ish, other times unfortunately he is awake every hour or so! I have found the longer I leave DS awake in his cot, the harder it is to put him back to sleep! We did buy him one of those glow seahorses that sings lullabys, and that sometimes will put him back to sleep easliy.

DP doesnt wake up to DS at all (DS sleeps in our room in his cot) and says the same thing all the time about DS night crying exhusting him :rolleyes:

Good luck!

[Bub1WA]

Munkin80 - I would love your advise please???
We have been pretty good with the cc and it's been working really well with our 6 month old boy.
Lately he has become a little restless at night and we had a few nights were he was sick so of course everything went out the window as we had to be up with him. Now I think he thinks that is the way it is going to be and if he whinges we will get up - that isn't going to happen!! So the main query I have is if you used a dummy or not? He is good at re-settling himself but at night seems to look for the dummy a few times and will cry out if he can't get to it - so do we throw away the dummy and go with something or else or perserve with getting up a couple of times to put it back in - suggestions welcome :-)

Thanks and sorry for crashing the original thread :-)

[munchkin80]

Hi bub1WA, it's been a while, but if I remember correctly, we didn't use a dummy at night unless she just wouldn't settle (severe cases) we did use one during the day though, and a dummy chain helped heaps cos she learnt how to find it if it fell out. If she was sick and became clingy still after she got better, we would give her some panadol or nurofen for the next couple nights (no more than 3) which would make her drowsy enough to self settle again and would put her back in routine, sorry bout the late reply, hope this helps, yell out if I've missed anything :fingerscrossed: