delisa
10-10-2011, 17:13
So I have a beautiful 2 year old who is the light of my life. 8 weeks after giving birth to him we got pregnant again.
At the 12 weeks scan they discovered that my baby had a diaphragmatic hernia and also major heart problems with the right side of it's heart.
I was pushed to abort then. They said they couldn't give me any answers then but it would be easier.
I thought and argued to find out what was wrong and waited until 19 weeks when we scanned and did amnio and other tests.
It was at this time I found out we had a little boy.
It was also when I found out there was no genetic reason why he was so sick.
We talked to the top pediatric heart surgeon and were told that due to the nature of the problem, if he was to go full term he would pass slowly over a couple of days as a hole in the heart (which all infants are born with) closed up and stopped his heart from being able to circulate blood.
So after all of this and knowing that I had the choice of bringing my boy into the world prematurely and knowing he would be born still born or have him suffer over days we decided to terminate.
Since I was 21 weeks it was technically an induction. We had to fight for this even. I had to convince the doctors that I was making an informed decision and that I was not just trying to "get out of the pregnancy at a late stage"!!
They did a scan days before they induced me to check there was nothing that could be medically done.
By the time they did the scan the diaphragmatic hernia had cause ALL his internal organs into his chest cavity. It was at this stage that the doctors shook they're heads and said "there's no way we can save him".
So we went through the induction. Labor was not to difficult, masked greatly by the emotional pain.
I felt my waters break then pushed him out in about 15 minutes. He was quiet big for 21 weeks. He was just over 250g.
Then came the true blessing. Our little boy was born alive. It took us an hour to convince the mid wife that he was alive, his little heart had been pushed from his chest by then and we could see it beating in his belly.
So out of all of this my husband and I were truly truly blessed to have our son alive at only 21 weeks for 2 hours. We kissed him, I baptised him (my pastor had given me instructions) and we told him how proud we were.
We were in so much shock we just kept calling him our precious Angel, hence the reason why we carried that name onto his birth certificate, it was the only name he had herd.
I started hemorrhaging so was taken the theatre so I did not get to hold my boy while he passed, but I just don't think I could have seen him like that, not when he was so peaceful when he was alive.
The pediatrician came in to declare time of death and also talk to my husband and check Angel over.
He advised us that Angel, although a miracle that he was born alive, was in no pain and guaranteed us he was born in a coma. So our boy was never in pain.
It's his second birthday soon, the 3rd of November.
It has taken us a while but we are finally ready TTC. I hope we are strong enough.
We have searched for excuses and the only thing we have found is that I was attempting to breastfeed and I was taking quadruple to RDD of multivitamins plus other blood pressure meds not suitable for pregnant woman.
If anyone knows of a group/thread for woman who are TTC after this kind of thing I would appreciate being pointed in the right direction.
Lisa :wave:
At the 12 weeks scan they discovered that my baby had a diaphragmatic hernia and also major heart problems with the right side of it's heart.
I was pushed to abort then. They said they couldn't give me any answers then but it would be easier.
I thought and argued to find out what was wrong and waited until 19 weeks when we scanned and did amnio and other tests.
It was at this time I found out we had a little boy.
It was also when I found out there was no genetic reason why he was so sick.
We talked to the top pediatric heart surgeon and were told that due to the nature of the problem, if he was to go full term he would pass slowly over a couple of days as a hole in the heart (which all infants are born with) closed up and stopped his heart from being able to circulate blood.
So after all of this and knowing that I had the choice of bringing my boy into the world prematurely and knowing he would be born still born or have him suffer over days we decided to terminate.
Since I was 21 weeks it was technically an induction. We had to fight for this even. I had to convince the doctors that I was making an informed decision and that I was not just trying to "get out of the pregnancy at a late stage"!!
They did a scan days before they induced me to check there was nothing that could be medically done.
By the time they did the scan the diaphragmatic hernia had cause ALL his internal organs into his chest cavity. It was at this stage that the doctors shook they're heads and said "there's no way we can save him".
So we went through the induction. Labor was not to difficult, masked greatly by the emotional pain.
I felt my waters break then pushed him out in about 15 minutes. He was quiet big for 21 weeks. He was just over 250g.
Then came the true blessing. Our little boy was born alive. It took us an hour to convince the mid wife that he was alive, his little heart had been pushed from his chest by then and we could see it beating in his belly.
So out of all of this my husband and I were truly truly blessed to have our son alive at only 21 weeks for 2 hours. We kissed him, I baptised him (my pastor had given me instructions) and we told him how proud we were.
We were in so much shock we just kept calling him our precious Angel, hence the reason why we carried that name onto his birth certificate, it was the only name he had herd.
I started hemorrhaging so was taken the theatre so I did not get to hold my boy while he passed, but I just don't think I could have seen him like that, not when he was so peaceful when he was alive.
The pediatrician came in to declare time of death and also talk to my husband and check Angel over.
He advised us that Angel, although a miracle that he was born alive, was in no pain and guaranteed us he was born in a coma. So our boy was never in pain.
It's his second birthday soon, the 3rd of November.
It has taken us a while but we are finally ready TTC. I hope we are strong enough.
We have searched for excuses and the only thing we have found is that I was attempting to breastfeed and I was taking quadruple to RDD of multivitamins plus other blood pressure meds not suitable for pregnant woman.
If anyone knows of a group/thread for woman who are TTC after this kind of thing I would appreciate being pointed in the right direction.
Lisa :wave: