After some 'break-up' advice...

[lovebeingamum!]

This will probably sound weak, but has anyone been scared to leave their partner because you weren't sure if they'd want to be too involved in bubs life once you were separated? :confused:

That he would want him overnight (he aint good at that now), want him on weekends, if he got a new girlfriend:eek: , over Xmas, that dad's place would be the 'fun' place and DS would hate being with me...
Am I being selfish breaking up DS home, when I can see he loves his dad already and vice-versa (when DH can be 'bothered' to pay him attention). Would I be better to hang around until DS is old enough to understand whats going on... I mean I know ppl say 'dont hang around for the kids', but isn't that a sacrifce i should make, as a mother?

I mean, 80% of our relationship is s*&t, and that's a separate issue Im still working through, but when I think about the 'future' if I left him, I'm worried cause I know he wouldnt be a forgiving man and our relaionship may not be civil (not on my part...)

I know this probably sounds stupid because I know how many mums are on here who have 'dads' who arent interested in being a part of their bubs lives, and I hope I dont offend anyone!! :o , but it's just something I'm stressing about at the moment... Is it possible my hormones are still crazy from my preg? (9m ago) cause I've never had such extremes of emotions...

[Chanelc]

All I can say is yes I was scared of what the future held and if it wasn't for my brother and his best friend I probably would of hanged in there. They main thing is are you happy? As it is true happy mum, happy baby.
I don't believe you should stay in a relationship if you want to leave down the track - personally my parents stayed together until we all left home - and it is sad as I think the older you are the harder it is to deal with your parents split... at least when they are little they adjust and not put through the emotional turmoil if they are young - yes they feel it but Chanel is happier as I am relaxed and happy (even though being single is bloody hard!)
As for the fear factor no one can predict what might happen. My situation is tricky I left and I am working on sorting things out - a long path.
Ironically me leaving, resulted in Chanel's dad having more interest in her as he couldn't see her when he wantde and yes he has her every Wednesday night and every second weekend. You have trust he will be able to look after your little one if you do decide to leave.
Hope that gives you some insight but each one has different expreiences.
It sounds like you are confused suggest you think aboout going to a professional counsellor to work out what you feel and what is the best course of action for you.

[Sarak7]

Hello Lovebeingamum!

I'm sorry for your concern and hope you start to feel better soon:)
I really like the saying: "It's better to come from a broken home than to live in one"
Don't be scared.. perhaps try writing down the pro's and con's of your situation and go with it.

That he would want him overnight (he aint good at that now), want him on weekends, if he got a new girlfriend:eek: , over Xmas, that dad's place would be the 'fun' place and DS would hate being with me...

Funny you mention this because i have felt insecure about the exact same thing.. please don't worry about this too much.. kids are kids and of course love the fun things and mum seems to be just someone to clean up the messes and wipe the runny noses..
But your DS loves you, your his mummy and always will be your there throughout the tough times and there throughout the good times :)

Cheer up:hugs:

[MissBrightside]

Yep they are all hard things to deal with. My ex and I broke up 8 months ago and they have just started to saty at his place for the past month or so (every second weekend). It is hard but for x-mas and stuff like that I am just going to put mu foot down and tell him they are with me x-mas eve and x-mas day. My ex dosent see any of his family and I believe x-mas is spent with family. Yes their dad is their family but I am going to give him the option of having them overnight on christams day/night.
Everytime the boys have stayed at their dads I hear about this chick that I know my ex is seeing but he won't admit it to me. I heard about her from my 4 year old. It's tuff hearing about the fun things they all do together as if they are a happy family. But it's something I just have to accept, as hard as it is.

I was like you I hung in for ages thinking it's the right thing to do. But you have to think about whats best for you to be able to give the best to your son.

[oleander]

It sounds like you will be a lot happier without your DH. Its worth a try. If you are happy then your son will probably be happier aswell. I think its worse to hang around until your son is old enough to know what's going on. Better to do it early on so they grow up not knowing any different.

I am grateful my husband left now rather than in 5 years time. I think it will be easier for my daughter to grow up knowing its just me and her rather than going through the trauma of her dad leaving.

As for your son going overnight, yes I am also worried about that and have lost alot of sleep over it. Maybe you can go to mediation and work out a fair agreement in regards to visitation.

Wishing you all the best with your descision :hugs:

[Blessed Mum]

Hey there I just wanted to say just read your thread & you know where I am if you need or want to talk or have a coffee.