coping tips.

[meme]

hiya all:wave: . i just wondered where you turn when hubby is away and you feel you need a hand...,

i have been feeling absolutely exhausted atm. i think i am low in iron and have started back up on supplements, i had a cold/flu for about 2 weeks finally starting to clear, bub has been croupy so waking a lot during the night. and i feel like my eyes are just big golf balls hanging out of my head. i feel like i am going to fall asleep and i just can't see an end in sight really. i told dp that i was exhausted and he says, 'so am i' . so even when he gets home i don't know...

the working away doesn't really get to me that much, but right now i could really do with a recharge. my parents work his parents work and i really don't like the thought of admitting i need a hand, it's not that i am not coping, i am, i have to. i am just so bloody tired right now.

plus, no one ever wants to baby sit the baby..coz she is too full on i think, no one is brave enough to mind all three of the kids at once...:rolleyes:

[meme]

oh well, maybe i am the only one that feels like this...:rolleyes: .

thank goodness i am feeling much better after the return to iron supplements. i also had one night where bubs only woke once for a feed:smiliedance: . so m ymuch needed refresher seemed to happen. to top it off dp reckons he'll be home on friday, and i am looking forwatd to it.

one thing i am noticing this time is that i need some closer stronger friendships. the loneliness is getting to me. i am pretty social, but just on set times like going to playgroup, mums group. what i really need is more people i can just connect with for a quick chat, catch up when i have been alone with kids for hours/days on end. dp just doesn't get it and can only talk at set times.

we went down the park yesterday on the hope that i would find another mum to have some idle chatter with , and i did, it was great:laughing: .

[shorty_851]

Meme Where abouts do you live??

Maybe you could drop the kids off one weekend at your parents place or in laws and go out even if its juts to the club for lunch by yourself or maybe if you join a sport in the evenings and leave your kids with their grandparents.

This might open up a whole new world of people you never know if you join an indoor netball clubn or something like that there is many people there and some even have a kids club.
:smiliedance:

[meme]

thanks shorty, like i said, not sure if anyone would take all the kids together, no harm in asking though, except it does sorta bum me when they say no:gloomy: .

i don't feel up to evening anything bubs is pretty reliant on me at night and the travel would be too much when i am tired.
a lunch out by myself sounds good, just gotta find a time when i can get the kids minded. someone would prolly do it here at my house. so that could be an option. just gotta ask....

i do heaps of social things already, meeting people isn't the issue so much, just actually getting close...enough to say i need a hand...without worrying they will judge me for not coping iykwim?

[shorty_851]

I know some people dont feel comfortable asking for a hand but it does show you are a big person for asking iykwim.

Like your parents and in laws all know your partner is away and that you have kids and need to get out and have some time out.

My cousins partner is in the airforce and she never use to ask for a hand and she lived 12 hours away from her family and his family but once she asked for help that was it her life became so much easier.

I myslef need to feel confortable before i ask for help but if i know that i really need a hand i will ask.

You never know use less you try

[bearsmummy]

no one is brave enough to mind all three of the kids at once...

Oh i so know how you feel there hun! :hugs:

My folks live 8 hours away and my inlaws make it seem like its a mission to watch all 3 of my kids. Dont get me wrong... they arent angels, but they arent bad kids either.
I dont abuse the privelidge and ask them all the time to watch them, and saying that i usually dont like to ask. I feel like im being pushy if i do. When i do ask, sometimes they make me feel real bad for asking.... but like you said, its worth a try :D
Im sure they get the hint when im having a rough time, but they dont seem to bother to offer.
Im very lucky i have supportive friends, they dont watch my kids as they have their own, but we spend alot of time together, they call and show they care, which is more than i can say for others.

Like the saying goes "you can choose your friends but not your family" :)

I hope you get a break soon, sounds like thats what you need to perk right back up :yes:

Mel xoxo

[lavenderpegasus]

I can only imagine how hard it would be to have children and a dh that goes away a lot.
I'm real pathetic and hire people to spend time with me. I have a personal trainer three times a week, a golf instructor on Sundays and an acupuncturist every second thursday. So if I had children I would pay someone to look after them and go to a dayspa...(that remindes me I need to book in a session.. before dh arrives home..did I mention he comes home in 9 days..)

[meme]

I'm real pathetic and hire people to spend time with me.
:laughing: oh if only i could have a nanny, not so i could leave my kids with them and go off by myself, but so i would have someone to talk to during the day...:rolleyes:

yep, dayspa is what i need. dp is coming home on friday, if i book in for next week, he'll be here to mind the kids.
not sure if i can justify the expense though:( . i will give lot's of thought to it.

i am feeling much better. i emailed all my mums group friends and am glad i reached out and said hi, managed to get some emails and texts that made me feel less lonely.
have an outing planned for the morning, and thursday, and friday, so by saturday when we are supposed to be going to a 50th and anniversary party, i will prolly be here complaining that i just want to be alone:rolleyes:

thanks for your replies

[mum2anthony]

I know exactly what you mean though and I've only got the one who's not very old. You don't realise what your partners does for you until they go away. My partner just left last week and isn't due to come home for another 3.5 weeks. I'm just lucky I have Alicia (some may know her) to give me a break for a little bit. Even if it's for half an hour when things are at their stressful time and I'm at her house.

There are sooo many good days and when u get ONE bad day it can be real bad. :)

Mind u I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. My son is gorgeous

[Bearskin]

I don't know how you do it with 3 kids! My DH is away most weeks of the month at the moment (had 5 nights home in total for August) and I struggle with one child. My IL's are not that keen to have DD and my folks are in Melbourne so I might see them every other weekend.

We are out on a farm; neighbours a few kms either side. Hmmm...I hope I don't keel over one day; no-one would find us for days!

I have just started putting DD in occasional care in town for a couple of hours a week. It gives me some 'me' time to ride my horse, work or just go grocery shopping. (What a treat!)

What else I do is arrange lunch with other mums; during school holidays we had lunch once a week at someone's house. All the kids played together and we drank chardonnay. Its a nice break with the kids and some adult company. Its hard to make that first invitation, but most of the women around here are looking for outlets with other adults.

Also, if I am really tired (DD has been teething and sick - what a combination!) I just pull the blinds and sleep when she sleeps. Bit lazy but who's going to know?

BTW - I've told my DH I'm not having any more kids until his work settles down or DD get to school age...don't think I could do a colicky newborn feeding every 2 hours and a 2 year old on my own without mum around the corner. Now that would do my head in :D

[ToTeenyTots]

I had to have a bit of a chuckle to my self Bearskin about the second child after work settles down ( i would have used one of those quote things but don know how to ) Trucks dont allow them to slow down. I cant count the amount of times i have said to Mick that something wasnt going to happen until work settled down and he could be here to deal with it. For examle we discussed getting a dog for Tash. Nah too young and pup would just be a hassle with the newborn. Guess what we got .... a puppy. You gotta love em
cheers
Anna

[mythreelittlemonkeys]

yeh what is it with getting a puppy! I was 7 months pregnant and my hubby got me a beagle puppy!! then he flies out! ha ha Life sure is interesting with a puppy a newborn (and for the next 3 weeks a full size english mastiff!:eek:) and an infrequently here husband. :rolleyes:
Keeps me on my toes I guess!! hate weekends though - try to keep them as busy as poss so I cant sit around stewing wishing DH was here...or I go and do special things to cheer me up...like walks on the beach or shopping! :laughing: