Handling a child with an allergy, and a sibling who doesn't

[mumof three]

Greta has coeliac disease which means a strictly gluten-free diet. This is very restrictive when it comes to spontaneous treats - lollies, junk food etc. as most lollies and snacks have gluten.

On a car journey this week, I offered to buy them each a packet of chips for the trip. They were really happy. :) Then Rose says "can I have chicken chips?". I say Yes, but then Greta got super-sad :crying: because she can't have chicken flavoured chips, and plain chips seemed a poor substitute. I felt bad for her, so i let her choose something else. She chose a kinder surprise, which she didn't eat, and couldn't put the toy together so it remains in pieces in the car. I don't normally buy them cos they are an expensive waste of money.:mad:

If I had said "no" to Rose, they would both have been happy with plain chips, but it seems kind of unfair to Rose that her choices should be limited, just because Greta's are.

How would/do you handle this sort of thing? Or do you have any experience of this sort of thing as a child yourself?

Be happy for all thoughts.

[Duchessa]

Good question.

In your position, I think I would try explaining to Rose that she needs to help/support Greta to stay well and the best way she can do that is to not eat things Greta can't have in front of her. Explain that it makes Greta sad/envious/angry... Tell her that at other times when Greta is not around she can have chicken, but because all the family needs to help her including yourself and Dad, while she is young, you all have to have the same thing when you are together. It might help her accept it if she feels like she is being involved in looking after Greta, maybe?

Or perhaps give them a couple of options they can choose from (all of them being gluten free) so that Rose feels like she is retaining some control by being able to choose... ie offer corn chips, plain potato chips, an apple or a box of sultanas or something like that...?

I dunno - allergies are cruel things for kids to deal with, eh!

[mumof three]

Yeah, there's no easy answer. Rose is often good at looking after Greta, but they are close in age (19 mths) and competitive too. I'm going to get "it's not fair" from one, the other or both and that's just life I guess.

We are at my parents at the moment, and mum has some non-gluten free icecream which both girls wanted, but I just said "no" to both of them this time.

It's the spontaneous treats which are hardest. The other day, we were at the mall, and I thought we'd stop at muffin break, who do gluten-free muffins. But then it turned out Greta didn't want the flavours they had in gluten-free, but I could hardly go back on the promise altogether. So Rose and I ended up sharing a muffin that Greta would have loved, in front of G, who had nothing. I know it was "kind of" her choice (she could have had one of the gf ones) but it also wasn't. Sometimes it breaks my heart.:crying:

[melbryan]

My friend is in your same boat. I can't offer them all different foods when I have them so they all get gluten free rice chips so her ds2 doesn't feel any different. Her two are 1 year apart so she has dealt with it by have a gluten free house, until they are old enough to understand.
Good luck with it it is hard, I too have a lactose free house because ds2 can't have milk so we all drink the same milk now.

[Harley's Mum]

I cant say I know exactly how you feel as my son isnt coeliac but I am and he basically eats whatever I offer him whether it be gluten free or not.

There are gluten free alternatives if you can find them usually in the health food isle of woolies or coles. I have found a really nice corn chip but not always available if you think to keep some with you while ou are out and about. I really do understand how your DD feels though I cant remember the last I went down the chip isle and found something gluten free. Its incredibly frustrating when evrything you look at eith says contains or may have traces of gluten in fine print at the bottom AAGGHH:banghead:

Woolies have also come out with their own alternatives Freeform brand like choc chip muffins YUMMO self saucing puddings. and my favourite what I call the gluten free tim tam really nice.
also you could try BAsco, Freedom Foods or Healtheries brands all are euite good especially the Healtheries bread mix the best bread I have found yet just cant be bothered making it all the time lol.

Hope this helps you