Is it Impolite?

[jkate]

DH is turning 30 in November, and I want to have a party for him - he has never had a proper birthday party. We were going to have a BBQ for family and friends, only with so much going on the next few months (my sister is getting married, so is DH best mate -which both DH and DS1 are involved, school reunions, Christmas, first birthdays!! and goodness knows what else pops up :eek: ) we are not going to have a lot of money.

So my question is: is it impolite to ask people to bring their own meat. We are already asking to byo alcohol. We would provide salads, bread rolls, dessert, and nibbles - just working out the price of them can be expensive.

Any suggestions would be great, I would really like to give him a good party.

[tweedledee*tweedledum]

Mmmmmmm.....tough one. I think some people may mind, others may not. Are they bringing presents also? It may put them off if they have to buy present, alcohol and food! I had a BBQ once where we told people to bring their own meat, but it wasn't for a birthday and it wasn't for a lot of people so it was ok. Maybe just suggest that you will be having hamburgers and sausages and if they would like to bring something else to add they are welcome. I think you should at least provide some of the meat, because there will be people who won't bring anything at all and you don't want them to miss out!

[Cheekychops]

If you are going to ask people to bring their own meat I would make sure you say on the invite not to worry about a present......also.....if you did provide meat it doesn't need to cost all that much if you do sausages and rissoles.....that's all we ever had at our bbq's when I was growing up cause mum and dad liked to have people over for them, but didn't have all that much spare cash. BYO alcohol is fine..... JMO on all that!!!

[jkate]

Thank you ladies, to be honest I didn't even think about the presents :o . The sausages and rissoles sound like a good idea. They are not to expensive. So do we let them know that is all we are providing and if they want to they can bring extra for themselves, and how do we let them know- via invite or just in conversation when they rsvp??

Sorry for all the questions, my father doesn't like get together's - so we didn't have many growing up and we have only had a big enough place since this year to do anything like this.

Thanks again ladies :)

[jessgray]

i would let them know when they RSVP :)
buying meat in bulk also makes it cheaper too :) you could ask people to bring certain things like say aunty Jan brings sausge rolls and party pies and Nan brings hamburgers etc :) people dont normal mind if you ask them nicely and if they question it just explain why.

[Lirael]

everyones already said it but we supply salads etc and sausages and if anyone wants steak or whatever they bring it themselves. everyone knows that anyway so we never usually have to ask lol there used to us being cheap:D

[Cheekychops]

Thank you ladies, to be honest I didn't even think about the presents :o . The sausages and rissoles sound like a good idea. They are not to expensive. So do we let them know that is all we are providing and if they want to they can bring extra for themselves, and how do we let them know- via invite or just in conversation when they rsvp??

Sorry for all the questions, my father doesn't like get together's - so we didn't have many growing up and we have only had a big enough place since this year to do anything like this.

Thanks again ladies :)

I wouldn't even bother letting them know that's all your doing......it's food and it's meat.....you are doing all the salad, rolls, dessert etc - you are not being cheap and just doing sausage on bread!!! I have never been to a bbq that anyone has badmouthed because they only got sausages or rissoles!!! Don't worry so much about it :hugs: People will just be grateful for a night out to spend together with friends and family.......

[jkate]

Thanks Ladies. We still have a couple of months to go, but the stress of money always makes things seem closer! If only everything wasn't happening at once, oh well thats life!!

Just spoke to DH and I think that doing the basic sausages, rissoles, salads ect, will be the go, and maybe asking a few close family members to help out instead of presents.

:smiliedance: Have to love Bub Hub - so many wonderful ladies with great advice :yes:

[Lila]

maybe it is a bit late, but i wouldn´t have a problem at all.

as some said i would do the average sausage sizzle :) but NO MORE. with you doing all the sides, that is more than ok.

good friends would/ SHOULD totally understand, and as for the rest........

to be honest usually people really appreciate it, to be able to bring stuff THEY LIKE, rather then having to eat what they are given.....


good luck

[jkate]

Your not late lilly, thank you for your post. Since the party isn't till end of November , DH and I will probably be chopping and changing our minds till then anyway, but it is always good to have other peoples views.

Thanks again. :)

[AVR]

So my question is: is it impolite to ask people to bring their own meat. We are already asking to byo alcohol. We would provide salads, bread rolls, dessert, and nibbles - just working out the price of them can be expensive.

Just my opinion but YES! Sorry. :hugs:

I would definately make it later on in the night past dinner so all you need to supply is Nibblies, chips etc. They are always fun nights and once everyone has had a few drinks no one will remember what they ate anyway!

If anything, because its such a milestone bday, I would get MINIMUM food and at least a couple of cases or beer and/or wine, and maybe ask your closest friends to bring some nibblies if they ask - everyone usually says " can I bring anything?", this time say YES. :D

BUt... its hust my op! Hope you have a fantastic night! :smiliedance:

[MammaMia]

Honestly, my feeling is that true friends will be happy to bring their own meat & alcohol. We've done that sometimes (like you when funds were a little low) and no-one blushed or muttered. Then all the guys got to cooking and it was still a great time.

The occasion is about people being together to celebrate - not whether or not you lay on the eye fillet.

You could do sausages for the kids.

I always bring something when we get invited out, and I would be more than happy to BYO meat & alcohol. Let's face it - most of us juggle finances and this is one way we can help each other out. I'm leaning more & more towards thinking that sharing actually makes for a more relaxed, enjoyable event. Everyone feels that they are such a trusted and valued friend that the host can be honest enough to ask for a helping hand.

I'm sure it will be a great party, whatever approach you take.

Signed
Nothing smells better than some snags on the BBQ

[rynosmum]

We were invited to a party with BYO alcohol and meat once and surprisingly it was a real talking point amongst a few different people in the lead up to it as to whether it was deemed 'acceptable' or not.:eek:

BYO Alcohol is fine and we generally offer to bring nibblies, a salad or a dessert as well.

When we do a party, we generally (as Caithi said) buy a couple of cases of beer and some basic wine and soft drinks in case people rock up without. IMO it's completely fine to do a sausage sizzle which can be very inexpensive and let people know that you would happily cook chicken or steak or something else if they want to bring it along.

We actually went to a sausage sizzle today - plain sausages, bread and a couple of salads. Yummo! (BYO alcohol too). It's the company that counts :thumbsup:

[AVR]

Oooooooooooops:eek: forgot to also mention that this is if gifts etc are bought.:thumbsup:

Sometimes you will find people spend a bit more for milestones and if they had to bring meat, alcohol and gift it gets really expensive.

If not I agree with Sausages, Onions etc as previously bought up - food is food after all.:D

[jkate]

Thanks Ladies

DH and I had another chat about it last night. The more we look at it, the less we think we will be able to aford it - theres just too much happening. How dare people get married and have reunions :p jk - (love ya sis!!) Anyway, if think we will cut the guest list to just family and close friends. Wait till he can find out what he is working around that time, so it will be short notice - stupid rosters :banghead: . And go from there. It will be very basic.



Nothing smells better than some snags on the BBQ

:yelclap: :yes: Love the BBQ!!!

[Becteria]

Thank you ladies, to be honest I didn't even think about the presents :o . The sausages and rissoles sound like a good idea. They are not to expensive. So do we let them know that is all we are providing and if they want to they can bring extra for themselves, and how do we let them know- via invite or just in conversation when they rsvp??

Sorry for all the questions, my father doesn't like get together's - so we didn't have many growing up and we have only had a big enough place since this year to do anything like this.

Thanks again ladies :)

Call it a Sausage Sizzle or Burger Bonanza on the invitation - get a heap of different snags, it wont cost you a fortune but can still look classy. I love chavapi(is that how you spell it?) and kranskies.