Missing the kids

[GluttonForPunishment]

Hi everyone. My DP is going through a really hard time right now. She has never adjusted to not having her daughters (5 & 2) on a full time basis. When she left her ex-DH, he demanded 3 days a week after not being very involved with them. She was a SAHM and virtually raised them on her own up until that point. So she has struggled with this situation ever since. Not just missing them, but feeling like she didn't connect with them when they were here.

She has tried to see if there's any possibility of working things out with her ex, and even though this hurts me, if I thought she'd be happier there then I would wish her all the best. But, the reality is that it does not look like it's going to work out that way for her. He's always been a &#%( and he still is! So she faces the reality of never having her kids full time again.

So, my question is has anyone else ever felt this way? Have you got through it? How did you get through it? Is there any websites or anything that helped? Any information and help would be most appreciated. Whether she's with me or not remains to be seen, but if not having the kids is going to be a real situation for her she will need all the help she can.

Thanks everyone.

[Benji]

Just wanted to say sorry nobody could help earlier :hugs: I stayed with my XDP for longer than I should have due to stress about him taking my son from me after never even so much as changing a nappy, he NEVER took him on his own so I was very reluctant to leave. Eventually I did and for the first year or so he wanted nothing to do with my son, then once child support agency stepped in, all of a sudden he wanted him 2 nights per week and made it very clear he'd get nasty if I didn't comply.

This has caused huge ongoing resentment from me as I've always been dedicated to raising my DS and have never treated him as a commodity.

All I can do is remember the statement "absence makes the heart grow stronger" and when he returns from his father's house I make it special DS and mummy time. Funnily enough XDP is no longer required to pay child support and rarely sees him again :rolleyes:

Good luck, I know this has been causing you some stress. Sounds very hard for your DP, too :hugs:

[Fuchsia!]

Its so hard being a split family. Im lucky my ex lives far away and doesn't want much to do with them so i get them fulltime but it would break me to be apart from them expecially when i have put in all the hard work.

I have no advice for you partner, i just wanted i hope she can come to terms eventually. Its so hard :(