After an abortion

[InTheClouds]

I had an abortion recently and I really feel like I am not coping with it. I spend half my days bawling my eyes out and the other half feeling completely numb. I have been depressed for quite a few months now and I feel like I made the decision while I was under a cloud (one that I am still under) and now I have thought about it and I can't believe I did it:crying: I am a mother already. How could I DO that??:(

I struggle more and more to find any kind of purpose in life. I feel like I have failed in everything lately. Failed my family, people who love me, failed this baby. I failed at being a wife and partner, failed at being a mother. I have no career to look forward to and my only goals in life I am so far away from achieving I doubt I ever will. I have no drive and nothing to offer anyone right now. Nothing for myself.

I have been on the net trying to find someone to talk to about this. Especially about the abortion, as the clinic really offered nothing. I was going to a psychologist who told me that my baby will just come back next time:rolleyes:, and another one who really didn't touch on the subject at all with me. But all the post abortion counselling on the internet seems to be rather pro-life so I wouldn't expect they would help. Can anyone recommend anyone? I just really feel like I need some help to get through this and nothing I try seems to work:gloomy:

[krystallxx]

Do you have a Marie stopes or whatever it's called clinic near you? Or could you call them and have a chat. I found them to be fantastic. Although I didn't need counciling the service was offered.

I'm so sorry your feeling this way! I don't really know what to say. I'm sure your not failing but just going thru a rough time. You can get out of it, and hopefully someone on here has some better advice then myself.

You can achieve anything you want too, it's just a matter of being motivated enough to get there. But ATM I'd say your mental health is more important and you need to get yourself sorted out and then work towards your goals. Good luck!

[bressar]

Im so sorry you're having such a hard time
I don't really have any advice but couldn't read without responding.
Lots of :hugs:

[funnymama]

Hi!
Firstly, wrap your arms around yourself and give yourself a hug and a squeeze from me.
I had an abortion 8 years ago and luckily I found the right counsellor. I felt those things you are talking about but after counselling I have a different view. I looked at your profile but could not work out where you live. If you let me know I may be able to point you in the right direction of an appropriate therapist.

Hugs to you. I know it is a tough time. Take care of yourself and allow yourself some tlc.:hugs:

[loving6]

Sorry i have no help but i wanted to give you some huge :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:

[Michelle_N]

There are so many reasons as to why we have terminations. I needed to have one last year when bubs was 12 weeks due to medical reasons and its devasting...whether the intention was to keep the baby or not.

It sounds like there are a number of things happening in your life that you need help with....and its not just the termination.

Maybe not look specifically for a counsellor that deals in just terminations but someone that deals in the whole lot?

So please dont beat yourself up by thinking you have made a bad or wrong decision. And you certainly havent failed at being a wife, mother or anything.

Can you talk to your partner about how you are feeling? Maybe he can help if you cant get it out in the open and tell him how you really feel.

Also maybe consider going to a GP as they can diagnose you if you they think you are suffering from depression and will be able to recommend a counsellor and also maybe some medication if you need it.

Take care and just know that it WILL get better :hugs:

[MunchiesMummy]

:hugs::hugs::hugs:

I was never offerred any form of councelling either (15 years ago) and I only JUST started seeing someone the beginning of this year and it has really helped. I walked around with that dark clound for 15 years, please dont do that. It really affected my life and I felt I didnt deserve to be helped deal with it, but I wish I had of sought out someone to talk to so many many years ago.

Try another councellor for sure if the one you are seeing doesnt mesh with you - tell them you are SPECIFICALLY there to deal with and talk through your termination.

Massive hugs sweetie, I know how it feels. I was lost for a long time, sex just seemed to be a horrible thing that produced terrible consequences and I just locked everything away and let it fester inside of me. Its not good for you.

Be kind to yourself. Forgive yourself. Grieve for your bubba (you are allowed too). Do something special to say goodbye in a way that means something too you. See someone who GETS you.

You can PM me anytime xxx

[GluttonForPunishment]

You need to know that you are not a failure. The decision you made was one that you felt you had to make. You have let no one down and you have not disappointed anyone. Sometimes we can't handle certain things when they come into our lives. And a baby does come as one of those things that cannot be dealt with at times. I know that you are a wonderful mother and a loving partner and you are troubled and distressed and in need of help. Let those that care for you the most help you. Don't push them away - let them be there for you. You will get through this. Let them worry about who to see. This isn't something that you need to worry about. Pick that someone who is there for you and let them arrange this. It is a stress and worry that you shouldn't have to deal with. I think I speak for everyone here when I say that we are with you and thinking of you through this hard time.

[3'llhavetodo]

You need to go and see your Dr and try to arrange some councelling. If you feel the one you go to doesn't help or you don't click then give it a few sessions and try another and another til you find one that helps.

:hugs::hugs::hugs:sweetie you are not alone, help is out there. XOXO