When do you seek help?

[twinkles]

Well, I experienced another m/c and that makes 2. One at 10 weeks, one at 5 1/2 - 6 weeks. I am not quite so sure I want to try again to be honest, but the little clothes and nappies keep calling out to me as if they want to be worn... IEven still, I don't think I'll be jumping on the bandwagon so fast this time :no:

My question is this, now that I have had 2 m/c in a row, do I seek help, or should I wait for another?

Twinkles

[shelle65]

Hi Twinkles, I am so, so sorry to hear about both of your m/c's :hugs: :hugs: I can't even imagine how you must be feeling.

I'm no expert on this topic, but I did read the other day something that may interest you - because 1 in 6 pregnancies ends in m/c where there is nothing wrong with the mother, it follows statistically that 1 in 36 women will have two m/cs even when nothing is wrong with them - just two random cases of bad luck. So I guess what I'm saying is that it is possible that you are unlucky enough to be that one person in 36 and there is no reason why you can't go on to have healthy pregnancies.

But to get a more satisfactory answer, I would suggest you go straight to the experts and call a specialised m/c clinic, like the one at the RWH in Melbourne, and ask what they think. I know regular OBs and GPs often have different ideas about what is normal and what should be checked out. That is why I would be going straight to the specialists for an opinion.

:hugs: again, I'm sorry I haven't been much help :hugs:

[Adria]

Hey twinkles im so sorry to hear it has happened a second time.... deverstating for you.
If it happened to me a second time, i would be at least going to talk to my dr, to see if i should have some test.... i know what you mean about the clothes keep calling you. If you feel this way but concerned that you may m/c again, i think you should talk to a dr!
Good luck, Pm me if you want to chat

[mich71]

i know from experiance that 3 m/c in a row you should see a ob/gyn its just a lot of blood tests if nothing shows up in them then genetic test for you and you partner and i know it hurts at the monent but when theres a medical reason its a little easier to except because nine out of ten of them can be helped so you have a little bundle at the end good luck with everything :kiss: :hugs:

[Chickadee]

So sorry to hear your news Twinkles. :( After my 2nd m/c I desperately wanted some answers and reassurance, but my understanding at the time was that most doctors won't investigate until you've had 3. It certainly never hurts to ask though.

If it's any reassurance at all, my 3rd pregnancy stuck fast and I now have a beautiful little girl, who is SO worth waiting for.

[twinkles]

Thanks for the responses; they are greatly appreciated! Generally I am starting to come to terms with it all, and I guess accept it for what it is. We intend to try again once I've had a full cycle normally, but I am scared. I guess if I don't get back on the bandwagon I might not try again and never have the opportunity to nurse another little one, so.....

Shelle - thanks for the stats, they help! I think I will definately go to the docs and insist (nicely) on tests if there is another 'failed' preganancy as the doc put it :mad: last time, but for now, I have decided that it is best to see how it goes.

Adria - thanks so much for your support - it is really appreciated :)

Mich - It's good to know what will be done if I get to three - and I really hope that will not be the case, and I wasn't aware that most causes can be fixed - I've had moments of feeling I am incapable of carrying a child right now, so it's good to know many probs can be fixed.

Martha - I am so happy for you and your beautiful girl! I'll be crossing my fingers and my toes!

Thanks again guys!

[Rianna]

Hi Twinkles,
I too have recently had my second miscarriage and I know exactly what you're going through. My way of coping was to do as much research as possible and there is some good news. Women who have had 2 consecutive miscarriages have 75% chance of having a 'successful' pregnancy next time. I've just recently had the big blood test to see if there are any explainable causes and am waiting on the results but most doctors don't consider you a 'recurrent miscarrier' until you've had 3 consecutive miscarriages which is an awful position to be in. Also, I found the website www.miscarriage.com.au quite informative so you might want to have a look- it is a commerical site but it does have some really interesting info. Good luck and big hugs!

[JuniorMinime]

Hi Twinkles,

I have just lost my third baby in 12 months so I know how you feel. After my second my ob told me that they won't look into anything until I have 3.

So now that I have had 3 they are running all the neccessary tests on both of us (but mainly me). Our chances of having a successful preg (even after having 3) is still 70% up to the age of 35. So we are happy to hear that.

We have decided not to try now until after our wedding (cause he just proposed to me) because we want to get my body back into shape and get the insides in perfect condition. I want to exercise and eat healthy to make sure that my body is in tip-top form.

The ob did say to us that you should acutally wait at least 3 months to let your body rest but it's totally up to you. Everybody's body is different at the end of the day and what happens to one might not happend to another, but then again it might.

I hope this helps a little, and please feel free to PM me is you ever want to chat or want an ear or even to let some steam off.

:hugs: to you though, I know it's hard but you will ge there I promise

Becs

[Towie]

Hi there,
I'm really sorry to hear about your losses.
Having experienced recurrent miscarriage the 'general rule' is that they will investigate after 3 (which is really horrible) but as the other women have said, statistically you are more likely to carry a third to term than you are to lose it. So while 1 in every 36 women have two losses, only 1 in 100 have three.

It might be worth talking to your GP and see what he suggests, but usually they say 'just try again' - as scary as it is. But if you feel you want to do more than that, it is worth visiting a naturopath or having some accupuncture, or soemthing like that, just to feel like you are doing everything you can to make the next one work.

I had never tried alternative therapies and was a bit skeptical but it really helped my state of mind, feeling like I was getting some help with it all.

I ended up going to the Royal Women's as they have a recurrent miscarriage clinic, but again you have to have experienced three losses to be seen there.

Also, it is worth going to see a councellor to help you work through your fears about trying again - your GP should be able to suggest someone or try to Australian Psychological Society website - they have a database, including the areas of each psychologists specialisation.

Good luck with it, I know it is so hard, I just kept telling myself that if I give up I will be further away from where I want to be (and now I am due to give birth in 4 weeks).

Towie