View Full Version : Getting only child to occupy himself?
BreadRoll
22-08-2011, 10:40
Do what my dad did.
At age 5 he sat me down every night and read me a chapter of The Hobbit, and then when we finished it we moved onto the the Lord of the Rings. (we had to stop because I cried in book 3 when Sam and Frodo were fighting on the way to Mordor. It was unbearable :no:). After LOTR we read "Three Men in a Boat" by Jerome K Jerome.
By opening up my imagination and opening me up to a world of literature.. i quickly became a voracious reader.
At age 8 i started reading the Sword of Shannara by Terry Brooks. Its roughtly a 600 page book. I'd get up at 6:30 and read for an hour and half before getting dressed for school.
I never needed an adult to entertain me after that. As long as I had a book.
He loves reading and we do read every weekend (unfortunately weekdays it's his reader from school which so isn't fun but I guess it's still reading). He's not the sort of child who will sit quietly and read by himself haha. He's a non-stop talker. I think it's payback from when I was a child and drove my mum mad with my talking.
He's just got so much energy and is such a sociable little guy. I remember when I was growing up my brother and I would barely see our parents because we'd just play together for the entire day and come inside when hungry. I should have had two children close together damnit.
It comes down to realizing it is not your job to be your childs constant play mate and entertainment. It is good for kids to just play alone with their imagination. I don't know if there is a science to it but I just say "mummy wants some time alone now, and then if you like we can do something together after". He resisted for a few days but has learnt quickly. If its nice weather he plays in the yard with the dog or if he likes he has a room full of toys!! What else are they for?? I think he has discocred some of his toys all over again recently and has started to use his imagination more and more. I have a baby now and he really needs to learn that its not all about him. And he has.
He has a wonderful imagination, he always has - he's a performer. I feel a bit bad when I say I want to do X, go away because it's not really his fault he hasn't got a sibling iykwim. He has a very extroverted personality, loves being around people, entertaining people and playing role play games. He really isn't the quiet, reserved type who can sit in his room and read on his own.
I spoke with his teacher this morning and mentioned my problem and he said that DS is wonderful at school, very good at learning, well behaved etc so he just needs to learn that it is okay to play alone sometimes. I just need to figure out a way to make it happen. Giving him a book or telling him to go away, unfortunately, I have tried and failed.
FearlessLeader
22-08-2011, 11:20
lots of playdates? My partner is nearly as bad as your son :rolleyes: i tell him to go play with someone else when i need some time to myself :laughing: or could you get him to put on a play for you but he will need to practice himself and organise his costume etc or it will ruin the surprise. I think you need to be a bit firm with him TBH. It's an important skill to be able to entertain yourself, i know with DP he really craves constant attention and his self esteem is all bound up in pleasing and entertaining others.
maybe a reward chart, a star for every day he spends entertaining himself for 15, 20, 30 mins (make it longer each week). 30 mins alone time= 1 hour special mummy time.
lots of playdates? My partner is nearly as bad as your son :rolleyes: i tell him to go play with someone else when i need some time to myself :laughing: or could you get him to put on a play for you but he will need to practice himself and organise his costume etc or it will ruin the surprise. I think you need to be a bit firm with him TBH. It's an important skill to be able to entertain yourself, i know with DP he really craves constant attention and his self esteem is all bound up in pleasing and entertaining others.
maybe a reward chart, a star for every day he spends entertaining himself for 15, 20, 30 mins (make it longer each week). 30 mins alone time= 1 hour special mummy time.
Lol at your DP. Hahaha.
That's not a bad idea. My DS doesn't really respond to negative consequences so I think the "30 mins alone time= 1 hour special mummy time" would work better than saying get out or else lol.
I wasn't really prepared for such an outgoing child, I was such a quiet loner. I love the fact he's so energetic, confident, sociable but it is full on for me when I don't get 2 seconds to myself. When people talk about childhood obesity I think "how"? How do they get them to sit still? :laughing:
BreadRoll
22-08-2011, 12:04
My partner is nearly as bad as your son :rolleyes: i tell him to go play with someone else when i need some time to myself :laughing: .
You remind me of a colleague who rides a motorbike.
I was like "nawww wish my wife would let me ride a motorbike :("
And he said:
"Its easy to convince her, I just said this: 'I'm a boy. Boys need toys. Either you let me get a bike to play with, or I'll have to play with you, .. which would you prefer?!' Needless to say she let me get a bike shortly thereafter :laughing:"
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