Back patting actually work for anyone???

[mytwogirls]

Does back patting actually work? Maybe I'm not doing it right?

I'm trying to get my 11 wk old DD2 to self-settle. All the things I've read say to put them in bed and if they cry to pat their back to settle them...but this doesn't work for me (I couldn't get it to work with DD1 either).

The books say to put them on their side and pat them. I put her on her side and she's then struggling to move and I can't keep her on her side. She gets more and more annoyed so I end up picking her up and she stops crying. But of course this isn't getting me anywhere in my aim of getting her to go to sleep by herself.

[red crayon]

it's hard, isn't it? i tried patting in the cot at that age too and it didn't really work. i did the side thing which worked for a little while and then spencer worked out what i was up to and would struggle and cry. i ended up picking him up and patting him to sleep and then putting him the cot - which, of course, is not you want to hear. it worked better when he was older - closer to 1 year old.

sorry, no advice but i understand what you're going through.

[Seekrit]

When Cobey's unsettled I put him on his side and lightly pat/tap his bum, regular, like a heartbeat.
Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't.

[stellarella]

I cant get DS to actually fall asleep with back patting but if he wakes in his sleep grizzling it usually helps him settle again.
I just roll him on his side slightly and pat his bum.

[mytwogirls]

Thanks for the replies...hmm I wonder why all the books seem to suggest it? I've tried both back and bum patting.

I also think the "relaxation bath" idea mentioned in some books as a settling technique is really funny. Yes, it's relaxing at the time, but as soon as I take her out DD starts crying really loudly and is very cranky - not relaxing at all!

[sugar n spice]

I find patting the on the back and or bum works when they are in your arms but i found with both mine if they were in there cot and i wanted them to go to sleep id gently stroke there forhead, worked wonders.

[Chickadee]

Yes, it worked for me. DD was around 3.5 to 4 months when I started. I've described the technique I used in detail on here and can give you links to other threads if you want to read it. I used bum patting on her side, holding her shoulder, and a 'naaaa-naaaa' singsong drone. If she moved a little I just held her shoulder/arm lightly and continued patting. If she got really upset then I'd pick her up, cuddle and calm her, and then start again with patting her in the crib. It took a few nights to start to see a difference and around 2 weeks to get real improvements. At the start it might take me an hour or more to get her to sleep. Sounds stressful, and it was, but it was worth it. In that time I also became much more attuned to her crying types and able to differentiate better between a sleepy winge (that I could ignore) and an upset cry that really needed me.

[Milliner]

This worked for us for about a week when DS was 3 months old, if I try to do it now he gets more and more upset. It's a never ending struggle for us to get him to sleep.

Godd luck!! ( I think that we both need it)

[superbaby]

I found putting one hand (left) on DS whilst using the right hand to pat at top of nappy area whilst he was on his back worked.

[shed]

My baby loves being whacked on the bum quite hard!! LOL. But it does have to go through a cloth nappy so it needs to be quite hard. Somebody said to me once "geez thats a bit hard isn't it?". I just said "don't blame me, I'm not the one who needs it to settle". He drops off quickly with this, but that is when he is lying on my chest. I don't leave him to settle in his bassinette, I wait for him to be settled and then put him down in it. If he wakes up and freaks out I pick him up again. If I am making a rod for my own back, oh well, its my rod and my back!

[damien's mum]

Damien loves being patted, when is sitting on my lap watching a movie, or laying in the bed with me. I usually find him asleep after a bit. But remember every child is different, and alot of other things work for them.
Goodluck :fingerscrossed:

[Mrs Potts]

I think it really depends on the child.

When we did controlled crying with DS, the patting didn't work very well for him at all.

Now that we "know what we're doing" (LMAO) we do it with DD and it works for her. I do find though, that the crying generally reaches fever pitch before she calms down.

Also, the idea is to pat only until the crying subsides, not until they fall asleep. Of course, if you want to stay til they fall asleep that's up to you!

[mytwogirls]

SugarnSpice - the stroking the forehead works while I'm holding her. I find it relaxing doing it as well.

Superbaby - yep, this works too, even better cause it works while she's in the cot. She's on her back and I put my left hand on her tummy and used my right hand to pat her on her right side near her hip.

Thank you both, and to everyone else for your suggestions!

[Mum&bubs]

Yep it worked for us. Summer likes to be patted quite hard on her bottom. Usually settles her quick but now that she is older as soon as i stop patting she will wake up & cry until i pat her again so im usually there with a dead arm patting her back to sleep...