View Full Version : i THINK im.........
PREGNANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i had my DS almost 8 months ago (dec) i got my first period in feb, never got one in march but got one in april. i havent had one since then:eek:
For the last couple of weeks i have had just a feeling that i may be pregnant... I have been getting nausea and the only thing that seems to make me feel better is eating dry crackers. Have been urinating through out the night ( which is unusual for me) :rolleyes: these are really the only things things that have given me this feeling.... i know the only way is to take a pregnancy test, but i dont know im way too nervous!!!!!!!!! im only 24 and am freaking out to be thinking that there may be a 4th bub in the making :(
I also know my partner ( who is younger than me) will not want me to have the baby at this point in time. We have spoken about having a 4th but waiting for about 3-4 yrs before we even thought about another one... So what do u ladies all think?? what are your stories etc.... thankyou for your support in advance
waterlily
08-08-2011, 20:01
I have no help but "take a test" don't stress unnecessarily until you know for sure either way. I hope you get the outcome you want. I've been through unplanned pregnancy and it really eats at you, so find out for sure FIRST!
:hugs:
i am 24 and i am 37 weeks with # 4, our huge suprise. It was a shock but we will manage. The only way to really know for sure is to TEST you may not even be pregnant :)
Thanks soooo much for your support!!!! im now wayyyyyy more nervous to do a test as my partner found out the possiability of this last night and has told me their is nooooo way we are having a baby :( if i want to keep it then im out :confused::no:
Lemonhead
09-08-2011, 11:07
Do a test. You may both be causing unecessary stress :hugs: goodluck and keep us updated.
:hugs::hugs:
take a test then you know for sure
lovemybabies!
09-08-2011, 11:16
Did you do a test yet?? He might just be in shock, he could come round :)
i cant get one till tomorrow.... i will let u all know the outcome!!!!!!!!!!!
Lemonhead
09-08-2011, 11:28
Can you get someone to bring you one if you can't make it to the shops today?
lovemybabies!
09-08-2011, 12:04
Impatient much Lemonhead :p
Impatient much Lemonhead :p
LOL!!!!!!!!!! i dont get paid till tomorrow and am flat broke :( gonna see how much one is when i go pick my daughter up from school and see if the last $10 in my account is enough :D
If you have a medical centre or family planning clinic you can either get a test done bulk billed or pick up a freebie I think. I've been to the medical centre to get a pregnancy test done when I was unsure and broke :)
lovemybabies!
09-08-2011, 14:20
I've done the doctor thing too, usually when I am pretty sure it is negative and I don't want to waste my money lol
tested and the result............................................ ...........................................
:bfp:
AGGGGHHHHHHHHHH :eek:
i dont know what im gonna do..... i havent told him!!!! :no::freakingout:
i dont know how to tell him:(
he told me the other night that if im pregnant....... "im gone" :(
MummyHas3boys
10-08-2011, 13:05
tested and the result............................................ ...........................................
:bfp:
AGGGGHHHHHHHHHH :eek:
i dont know what im gonna do..... i havent told him!!!! :no::freakingout:
i dont know how to tell him:(
he told me the other night that if im pregnant....... "im gone" :(
:hugs: :hugs:
How far do you think you could be? You havnt had AF since april hey? I think first step is see your GP and get a dating scan done, then go from there! How do you feel about it all?
Goodluck xxx
Lemonhead
10-08-2011, 13:08
:hugs:
Maybe he will think differently once he knows a bub is in there?
What do *you* want to do?
mummykitty
10-08-2011, 13:16
:hugs:
Maybe he will think differently once he knows a bub is in there?
What do *you* want to do?
Very important you do what's right for YOU :yes: the rest will work out but don't make a decision you will regret xx
krystallxx
10-08-2011, 13:18
Hugs..
Talk to ur partner, think things thru. There are lots of options!
Me&MrMagoo
10-08-2011, 13:59
(((GBH)))
** end of transmission **
thanks everyone for your support... i really have no idea what i want to do right now... i have a heap of mixed emotions :confused: i know this is totally a bad time :( and we should have done more to prevent this from happening i guess... i honestly do not want to tell him :( but then again have thought that if he isnt man enough to accept it then maybe we are better of alone :eek:
i think i need a few days to get my head round it and will go from there... i know the longer i leave it the harder its gonna get for me though...
The same thing happened like this with our 8 mnth old DS, i found out didnt tell him for 3 wks then when i did he freaked out :freakingout: and didnt speak to me for 2 days, everytime he did it was just to tell me that he wanted me to "take care of it" i told him that i wasnt going to and if he couldnt accept that i would leave. In the end he told me he was behind me 100 % .............................. :fingerscrossed: that his could turn out the same... I have already had a termination once before when i was 15 and know how much i went through for yrs... I know deep down its not what i want to do!!!
I have no idea how far along i am, i have PCOS so dont usually get a period every month anyway, i could be much further than i think i am.. i am feeling little flutters in my tummy too sooo who knows.
thanks everyone for your support... i really have no idea what i want to do right now... i have a heap of mixed emotions :confused: i know this is totally a bad time :( and we should have done more to prevent this from happening i guess... i honestly do not want to tell him :( but then again have thought that if he isnt man enough to accept it then maybe we are better of alone :eek:
i think i need a few days to get my head round it and will go from there... i know the longer i leave it the harder its gonna get for me though...
The same thing happened like this with our 8 mnth old DS, i found out didnt tell him for 3 wks then when i did he freaked out :freakingout: and didnt speak to me for 2 days, everytime he did it was just to tell me that he wanted me to "take care of it" i told him that i wasnt going to and if he couldnt accept that i would leave. In the end he told me he was behind me 100 % .............................. :fingerscrossed: that his could turn out the same... I have already had a termination once before when i was 15 and know how much i went through for yrs... I know deep down its not what i want to do!!!
I have no idea how far along i am, i have PCOS so dont usually get a period every month anyway, i could be much further than i think i am.. i am feeling little flutters in my tummy too sooo who knows.
The same thing happened like this with our 8 mnth old DS, i found out didnt tell him for 3 wks then when i did he freaked out :freakingout: and didnt speak to me for 2 days, everytime he did it was just to tell me that he wanted me to "take care of it" i told him that i wasnt going to and if he couldnt accept that i would leave. In the end he told me he was behind me 100 % .............................. :fingerscrossed: that his could turn out the same...
Then please don't rush into any decisions based on his reaction. Maybe get all your facts straight first, get a dating scan, make sure all looks well with the pregnancy, and then at least you can present him with something to work off.
If he is unsupportive, give him a little time; if he continues to be unsupportive, please do what you feel in your gut to be the right decision for you, not him. I'm entirely pro-choice and don't have an ethical agenda to push here; it just sounds to me like a termination is not the path you want to go down. If that's the case you wouldn't be doing anyone any favours by having one.
Take it slowly, and take care.
:hugs::hugs::hugs:
:hugs: Maybe starting with the Dr's and a dating scan?! It might change or help clarify your options or what you feel comfertable with. I hope your DP cames round :hugs:
thankyou very much to all of you wonderful ladies for being here for me as i cant really talk to anyone else.... Im gonna see the doctor and get scan then go from there with him...
Lemonhead
10-08-2011, 18:38
You sound like you have a plan :)
I'm sure at first he will just be shocked, and if he is like me then he may react to shock with anger and stupid comments but will hopefully come around once he has time to cool down.
AllYouNeedIsLove
10-08-2011, 19:58
Perhaps suggest to him if he felt so strongly about it last time he should of had a vasectomy!
Perhaps suggest to him if he felt so strongly about it last time he should of had a vasectomy!
Touché ;)
insanity
10-08-2011, 22:49
(GBH) whatever decision you make just be sure it's the right one for YOU
ok so an update for you all!!!
I have been to the doctors and have my referral for a dating scan as i have no idea how far i am. I still havent told him, im going to do the scan first and see where we go from there.
I basically answered my own question though in the docs office as he asked me if i was gonna keep the baby and without thinking i said yes :yes:, so i think i have answered it!!!
it was spoken about with the possiability:confused: of me being pregnant and once again he has said he doesnt want another baby and IF i am he said i either abort or leave :( hearing these things just makes it all harder to tell him
I'm glad you've managed to reach your own decision, but it must be awful hearing him say these things.
Just remember that he has come around in the past, and if he doesn't... well, it might be easy to say this from behind my computer screen, but if he would really give up your relationship over something like this, then frankly you deserve a more solid and committed relationship than he seems to be able to offer you.
:hugs::hugs::hugs:
insanity
14-08-2011, 12:57
I think your right and you have already made up your mind... Are your family supportive?
I totally agree with Lambjam and as thinking the same thing before i read her post... if he is prepared to leave you over it then your better off without him anyway! I'm sorry to sound harsh but no half decent man would turn their back on their own children!
Good luck.. i look forward to hearing how your scan goes :hugs:
ok girls, went for my scan today and was totally shocked to discover that im 12 weeks 2 days, due 28.2.2012...... Baby is nice and healthy and has a nice strong heartbeat..... I want too tell him soooo much now but dont know how too :( , i dont want him to think ive gone and done all this behind his back as i think it will make him more angry that i didnt include him... Iykwim? My next hurdle really is finding a way to tell him ( which im totally freaking about) and getting my head around a 4th child....
LibranTwin
18-08-2011, 22:58
Wow 12 weeks that's crazy! Great news that all is healthy :)
Tough situation though. I would tell him as soon as you can now. If it was me I would say that I was totally freaked out and still am, that I didn't believe it and didn't want to worry him about till I had the scan and the full picture.
If you leave it any longer i reckon he will feel left out and lied to.
Great big hugs!!
bellalika
18-08-2011, 23:35
Great big cyber hugs. I'm really glad your bubby is nice and healthy. Time to show your partner the ultrasound pictures I think and prepare him for number 4.
A friends hubby didn't talk to her for 2 days when they found out about number three, and a week for number 4. He had a similar reaction to your partner. He went and got a referral for Dr. Snip the next day. He's now excited about becoming a father of four (all within 3.5 years) in the day or two.
hopefully2
19-08-2011, 00:43
I will adopt the baby.
mummykitty
19-08-2011, 00:51
I will adopt the baby.
Adopting baby out hasn't been mentioned once and I'm not really sure your post is appropriate??
LibranTwin
19-08-2011, 01:28
Adopting baby out hasn't been mentioned once and I'm not really sure your post is appropriate??
Agree!
hopefully2
19-08-2011, 06:24
It's an option. Not meant to be offensive. Relax. I know it's been a hard day at the office. Just chill.
Boobycino
19-08-2011, 06:54
:hugs: your partner might be upset that you didn't tell him but the longer you don't tell him the worse it is, plus you broached the topic and his response frightened you, so hopefully also he can see your reasoning.
Also maybe try not to take what he said about a theoretical baby too much to heart, he didn't know you were pregnant and may feel different about a *real* baby.
Plus your too far along to 'do anything' now so for him it's a moot point, nothing he says can change the fact he is about to become a father again - and if he leaves the baby still exists so suggest maybe it's best if you stay together in a loving partnership and raise your children, and he has a vasectomy if he feels so strongly :)
thanks everyone, i thought about telling him today BUT its my bday and dont wanna have a shi**ty day. Adoption is no option here AND i think he may be too young for a vasectomy?? Im considering having my tibes tied while having the c.section, but have been told that the doctor might not due to my age (24) ? I think he kinda knows i am deep down as something i said last night about having 4 children at home instead of saying i have my 3 children at hm and he said are you pregnant? I should have replied with yes but didnt in fear he would leave me on the side of the rd in the dark as we were in the car. I know im too far for anything to be done about this now and my next fear is him telling me to leave, we live with his parents and if he tells me to leave i have NO WHERE to go :( grrrrr im so frightened but then again it could b ok.
~Temet Nosce~
19-08-2011, 07:20
Well you're 12 weeks so your partner really has no option.. you can't (and shouldn't be made to) have an abortion. Is he forgetting how babies are made? It takes 2 and for him to turn this around on you and make threats to leave is just pathetic of him, tell him to man up. Understandably he might just be scared sh!tless at the thought and might hopefully come around eventually, but you can't hide it from him any longer. Good luck!
insanity
19-08-2011, 16:06
Yay for a healthy bub! Wow 12 weeks... Time will fly for you!
Hmmm I really feel for you :( I guess your going to have to tell him sooner rather than later.
Is he likely to carry on and accuse you of knowing all along and hiding it from him until you were too far along to do anything about it? I would drag him to the doctors with you as proof that you only recently found out
Big hugs and happy birthday!!!!
Hi, Congrats on the pregnancy.
Could you write your DP a letter to tell him instead of face to face, perhaps leave it in his lunch box or email him ?
Might give him some time to think about it without directly blaming you and having at go at you straight away.
My DP is mostly worried about finances with another baby, could your DP be the same way?
If so can you make a list of the difficulities you may face with the new baby and a possible solution to these concerns to give to him.
thankyou to everyones support. i really appreciate it!!! i dont really have anyone i can talk to about this and it sucks big time!!
I have been feeling really crappy all day and have this urge just to come out and tell him but dont know if i want to ruin my birthday even more than it already is.
I keep having mixed emotions about the WHOLE situation and wonder myself how we are going to cope with a 4th child. It will mean having to get a bigger place, bigger car, etc and neither one is something we can afford atm:( im sure we will find a way though, we have got through bigger things than this before.
SalsaMama
19-08-2011, 17:54
Happy birthday hon! Sorry it's been such a bad day for you.
I can imagine a 4th child would be a lot of extra work both physically and financially, but like you said, you've got yourself through bigger things before.
I don't really have any advice that hasn't been mentioned before. I just hope all goes well for you when you talk to your partner. :hugs::hugs:
PixieRose
19-08-2011, 21:24
Im considering having my tibes tied while having the c.section, but have been told that the doctor might not due to my age (24) ?.
hi Jemma.
If you are under 25, they won't do your tubes. PLUS I'd personally rather him get done if it were me. As it is alot worse of the ladies body than the mans.
bubbies4me
19-08-2011, 21:48
hi Jemma.
If you are under 25, they won't do your tubes. PLUS I'd personally rather him get done if it were me. As it is alot worse of the ladies body than the mans.
They should tie your tube since this will be your 4th baby. A friend of mine is 23 and she had hers done after her 4th. You can only ask the dr. Good luck with your dp and decision.
hi Jemma.
If you are under 25, they won't do your tubes. PLUS I'd personally rather him get done if it were me. As it is alot worse of the ladies body than the mans.
Well... It's not like it's illegal or anything! It's completely up to the discretion of each individual doctor, and after four children I think many would be willing.
If possible I would get your DP to get a vasectomy instead as it's much less invasive and had less side effects. However if he's close to you in age, you may have trouble finding a doctor who will do it. The doctor who saw my DH won't even do a consult if a patient is under 30, no matter how many children he has.
Lemonhead
19-08-2011, 21:58
It's an option. Not meant to be offensive. Relax. I know it's been a hard day at the office. Just chill.
:hugs: I don't have the slightest inkling what it must be like for you (looking at your signature) but I hope you get that BFP very soon xx
scarymarygoldfish
19-08-2011, 22:54
. . . .
hopefully2
20-08-2011, 00:50
Thank you lemonhead. I love my life tg.
bebehvala
20-08-2011, 01:25
OP - everything has been said by the lovely BHers, but wanted to say big hugs as I know this must be a tough time.
Short and sweet because I sent this from my iPhone.
Maximum22
20-08-2011, 06:31
I would pack everyone's bags and leave when he asks why I would 'YOU got me pregnant because we were not careful enough about protection... Give him time to think about it and if he is still a tool then I would say your better off with out him
PixieRose
20-08-2011, 07:15
A school friend has 6 kids 4 and under, all natural - 1 single, and then twins, then triplets. She is 24, when they delivered the triplets, she asked if they could do her tubes and got a flat NO.
As others said, you can only ask and see what they say :-)
When we are ready for no more, DH will get done, as I've heard/read to many stories of the issues women have afterwards.
Boobycino
20-08-2011, 07:18
They should tie your tube since this will be your 4th baby. A friend of mine is 23 and she had hers done after her 4th. You can only ask the dr. Good luck with your dp and decision.
Yeah surely that's exceptional circumstances. :) if not he can have a vasectomy.
:hugs: I hope everything is going okay that he's more understanding that expected.
I've been keeping track of your thread. I really hope things work out for you xxx
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insanity
22-08-2011, 10:51
Hey jemma, been thinking about you.. Hope your ok xx
Boobycino
22-08-2011, 12:28
^^^ hope everything is okay?
hi everyone sorry i havent updated yet.
So i cant bring myself to just blurt out and tell him, we have been speaking more and more about the possiability of me being pregnant and he actually seems to be warming up to the idea :rolleyes:
have been talking about getting a bigger car etc etc.
so either today or tomorrow he and i are going to do a test together. i already know what it will be, BUT he is pretty dammm adamant that he knows aswell. He was talking to his cousin about it last night and were making bets on it him being for cousin being against... LOL
so i will update you all when he knows either today or tomorrow and let you all know how he reacts once it stares him in the face!!! :fingerscrossed:
Good luck, I really hope he comes through for you :hugs:.
Zahra723
23-08-2011, 11:02
Good Luck & hope he takes it easy...
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newmummaofbub
23-08-2011, 11:04
Sounds promising :-) good luck!
Good luck I've been hanging for your update ! Xx
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jess_live_die
23-08-2011, 13:38
good luck hunni i know its a hard thing but us mothers are strong and we can do anything :fingerscrossed: the shock eases for him to get his head round and he gets exicted
insanity
23-08-2011, 16:19
Good luck!!!
Just act surprised and be sure to hide the ultrasound you had done so you don't get caught out!
If i were your partner id be more upset that you have known so long without telling him, than the fact you are pregnant. JMO
If i were your partner id be more upset that you have known so long without telling him, than the fact you are pregnant. JMO
But if you were her partner you might not have been so unapproachable and made the subject so taboo. Fill someone with fear, reap the consequences.
Thats true. I really feared my DPs reaction to DS1. But i sucked it up and told him. As expected he didnt react well, he stormed off and didnt speak to me for two days, then insisted i abort. Id hate to have seen his reaction if i had kept it from him for a month first, then told him.
So IMO id fear the reaction more if id kept it a secret, he is also entitled to feel the way he does about it. My Dp was entitled to the feeling of hurt, shock ect, but to add to that the feeling he may get from the pregnancy being a secret for a month beforehand is a bit unfair. And i certainly dont agree with the PPs comment about acting surprised ect, the OPs partner is effectively being lied to. But like i said thats JMO
KatieBabie88
23-08-2011, 17:25
Good Luck! I think what your DP doesnt know wont hurt him (that you already know). I think its great that you are able to do the test together and completely understand why you freaked out and couldnt tell him in the first place! When you love someone so much the thought of losing them is horrible but although he might of threatened you with that to start with i think in the end it will all work out for you and he will come around. GOOD LUCK!!!! PS I'm due on the 27th of Feb :) so we may just end up with twins LOL!
Thats true. I really feared my DPs reaction to DS1. But i sucked it up and told him. As expected he didnt react well, he stormed off and didnt speak to me for two days, then insisted i abort. Id hate to have seen his reaction if i had kept it from him for a month first, then told him.
So IMO id fear the reaction more if id kept it a secret, he is also entitled to feel the way he does about it. My Dp was entitled to the feeling of hurt, shock ect, but to add to that the feeling he may get from the pregnancy being a secret for a month beforehand is a bit unfair. And i certainly dont agree with the PPs comment about acting surprised ect, the OPs partner is effectively being lied to. But like i said thats JMO
to begin with you dont know my partner and have no idea how close it came to me losing someone i love (him) when i found out about DS1. i have not hid this from him for a month also, it has only been a bit over a wk. when it comes to things like this and with the things he had said to me i couldnt help but fear that i would lose him and for him to be unapproachable.
i have no concerns about him finding out that i already knew cause it wont happen.
I never said i knew your partner ;). I came very close to losing DP when i found out about DS1 too. So ive been there. I just said that IMO id be more hurt by the fact it was kept from me than the pregnancy itself.
All the best.
waterlily
24-08-2011, 15:20
How are you going?
AllYouNeedIsLove
24-08-2011, 16:00
Thats true. I really feared my DPs reaction to DS1. But i sucked it up and told him. As expected he didnt react well, he stormed off and didnt speak to me for two days, then insisted i abort. Id hate to have seen his reaction if i had kept it from him for a month first, then told him.
So IMO id fear the reaction more if id kept it a secret, he is also entitled to feel the way he does about it. My Dp was entitled to the feeling of hurt, shock ect, but to add to that the feeling he may get from the pregnancy being a secret for a month beforehand is a bit unfair. And i certainly dont agree with the PPs comment about acting surprised ect, the OPs partner is effectively being lied to. But like i said thats JMO
I'm not surprised that OP is reluctant to ell her partner, fearing the same immature and selfish response you have just described.
She is thinking of the rest of the family as they will essentially be homeless if she does not handle the situation carefully.
hi all, its done he knows!!! :D i feel like a HUGE weight has been lifted off my shoulders and his reaction actually shocked me :rolleyes:
he wasnt like over the moon he was shocked and then i let him be by himself for a little while and then he was fine. I asked him if he wanted me to leave etc like he had previously threatened but he told me no i dont want you and the kids to leave, this isnt a great time but we will find a way to make it happen and to support all 4 of them!!!!!
He also had a job interview today so we are hoping :fingerscrossed: that he gets it as it has also been hard and stressful on both of us him being without a job and trying to find one.
Thankyou to all who supported me i appreciate it sooooo much and prob couldnt of done it without you all!!!!
mummykitty
24-08-2011, 18:37
:hugs: :hugs: so glad it's all done and everything's ok :hugs: :yelclap:
Boobycino
24-08-2011, 18:55
:hugs: :highfive: I'm glad it's gone so well! Saying he'd leave is probably just something he said in a dumb moment but he obviously loves you and the family you share :hugs:
Goodluck for him for the job interview. What's 3 or 4 kids anyway. Lol.
Sheesh, I just read your thread from the start to catch up.. I was on the edge of my seat thinking "there BETTER be an update in here" :laughging:
So glad he took it better then you thought.. Aren't men surprising creatures sometimes? :laughing:..
I truly hope he remains supportive for you and carries on how he is currently, but no doubt he'll have bad days where stressing gets the better of it.. Just be prepared for that I guess.. Good luck! :hugs:
Yayyyyyy!!! I'm so happy for you!!!!!
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I'm so relieved for you, wonderful news!
Congratulations on your pregnancy, may you both enjoy your growing family. :hugs:
waterlily
24-08-2011, 20:25
Fantastic news!! So happy for you!!
bellalika
24-08-2011, 22:16
Glad he took the news well. I'll keep my fingers crossed for good news on the job.
insanity
25-08-2011, 13:23
Yayyyyy so happy for you!! I hope he continues to be supportive! xx
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