9yo ADHD son being voted by classmates to not play at lunchtime.. [Archive]

pinktasha

07-08-2011, 23:36

Hi everyone,
I have a 9 yo son who suffers from ADHD, he is in year 4 at school and he has told us on Friday about what has been happening to him at school..

Now he does have problems being focused in class, and can get very disruptive at times, we do not have him on any medications as we are not comfortable with the idea, he was diagnosed when he was 5 years old.

Basically it all started a week and a half ago, After school he told me that a boy in his year had called him a F@ggot, and he punched him, now in no way did I condone him hitting the boy, but we have gay family members and he understands that using words like that are unnacceptable, he got angry and hit the other boy. I spoke to his teacher and explained this to her, and told her that he should not of reacted that way at all, she told me he would be excluded from lunch time play for 1 day and that she would also talk to the other boys parents about using such vulgar and derogatory terms at school.

Anyway on Friday my son tells me that on Monday, the assistant principal came to the classroom and has decided that due to him misbehaving or being disruptive, each day before lunch, my son must stand up in front of his classmates and ask them if he is able to play at lunch, they then have a show of hands who thinks he should play, needless to say, every day last week he spent his lunch time in the library alone, but then told to have a run to get his energy out before class started back.

I am not against him being punished or missing out if he is being naughty at school, and his teacher is very understanding of his condition, but I am furious and frustrated and upset that this is being done to him, luckily he is a very strong boy and he says he is ok with it, but really? I think it is a horrible thing to do to any child, and especially the fact that he has ADHD, I find it totally wrong to do this to him.

I've been having a look at the board of education site and also the catholic school board site, he goes to a catholic school,

and from what I can gather, it is almost a breach of services under the disability act at schools, any child with a behavioural or learning problem comes under this act. What makes it worse to me is that its more of a teacher initiating this humiliation than other children..

We are calling the principal tomorrow to try and find out what is going on, but I am fed up with this school and am seriously considering looking into making a formal complaint

I was just hoping for some support or ideas on what I can do about this, or maybe someone has been in a somewhat similar situation?

I apologize for such a long post too!!

River Song

07-08-2011, 23:41

that is awful! how dare they treat him that way:(

i wish i had some advice for you...but had to post to give some hugs!

SpecialPatrolGroup

07-08-2011, 23:45

I am absolutely :eek: at the thought of an education professional suggesting such a damaging approach , no child should have to endure that. Could he be confused about what was meant?

I don't really have much to offer but just wanted to offer a:hugs: to you and your son.

J,K&L'sMum

07-08-2011, 23:48

Absolutely disgusting behavior on behalf if the school!
Definitely see the principle and put in a complaint if nothing becomes of it.

Outrageous :(

jagamoe

07-08-2011, 23:57

seriously that's so wrong my son has ADHD and id crack skulls if he was treated that way at school.......one of my fears that he will be picked on excluded etc cause of his adhd
its not right for a child to be ostracized alienated and humiliated like that its demeaning and really hurtful how would the other children feel if it was them

id be making a formal complaint :no: id have the teachers and assistant principal in tears and have their job see how they like being made to feel like cr*p makes me so angry

Pinkzy

08-08-2011, 00:00

That is absolutely disgusting.

What a humiliating, degrading, self esteem destroying and cruel way to treat another human being, especially a child. The teacher should be ashamed of herself and I'd honestly be reporting her to each and every authority possible.

veve

08-08-2011, 00:02

Absolutely disgusting behavior on behalf if the school!
Definitely see the principle and put in a complaint if nothing becomes of it.

Outrageous :(

I agree- its disgusting .. thats nothing to do with his BEHAVIOUR .. thats a popularity competition ... sheesh ..

I can tell you now - that if that had been asked regarding ME in grade 6 I wouldn't have been allowed to play either - despite being a good student .. the most popular girl HATED me .. and therefore so did most of the class, despite my best attempts to fix it. The girl who disliked me on sight would have LOVED the power to make me sit out at lunch time :( not a fair approach at ALL

I think that a student's behaviour should only ever be discussed between THAT student and the teacher - that teacher should have a basic system put in place (ticks or smiley faces or something) where your son can work out what he is doing on the behaviour scheme .. so he himself can see - I got one sad face - I better behave REALLY well for the rest of the day or I wont get to play.

I would DEFINITELY be discussing this with the teacher and or admin .. and if something isn't done - I would take it higher. IMO this approach is drawing a bigger target on your son - is this strategy used with ANY OTHER STUDENT??? why make him stand out more??? :(

I wanna :hugs: him .. I cant imagine he wants to go to school atm :(

Nowhere

08-08-2011, 00:22

OMG that is disgraceful, you have to complain that is so terrible, i cant beleive they are doing that to a young child, My god, how horrible
HUGS and good luck with speaking with the teacher and principle and educatin dept how ever far you take it, please keep us posted

Mettie

08-08-2011, 00:36

duckduckgoose

08-08-2011, 05:29

That is so wrong, your poor DS.

I would be making a complaint to the board of education or whoever deals with these things

Sundae

08-08-2011, 05:46

This shouldn't happen to any child EVER. I don't even know what else to say... I'm gob smacked.

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EmPowering

08-08-2011, 06:07

wow your poor son I cant believe that!

Opaque

08-08-2011, 06:10

Can I ask if the other boy was excluded from play that same original "punishment" day?

I don't like violence but if my child had been called that & bullied I think he was in his own right to punch the kid.

I was bullied at school - not terribly but enough & I NEVER stood up for myself & had the worst self esteem ever. Then I met DH who encouraged me not to let people talk to me like cr@p or basically take any sh!t & my god my self esteem is better. It's not great but it is better. I love him every single day for teaching me to stand up for myself.

Don't be too harsh on your son in regards to punching him. I'd say that little sh!t head that called him a f@ggot won't do it again to another kid, he's probably learnt his lesson & rightly so.

As for the school? I'd be GOING OFF! Yes, they need to show him that mucking up in class is not acceptable but degrading him - thats effed up. They're the teachers, they've got the skills & resources, put sometime into your boy, he's probably mucking up because he's having trouble with what they are teaching. They should get to the root of the cause not just label him ADHD.

Good luck!

zombiekitty

08-08-2011, 06:55

I am horrified!!!!
I would be contacting the board of education and taking him out of that school.
That is totally unacceptable!

The Fox

08-08-2011, 07:09

Wow that's horrible and disgraceful. I agree with the PP take him out of there and report report report. I'm so sorry your DS has been treated like that :-(

TheCatsMeow

08-08-2011, 07:20

+1

Disgraceful. Imagine the uproar if that happened to an adult in their workplace?

Exactly. That would be an antidiscrimination/bullying case in an adult workplace. What disgusting and deplorable behaviour from the teachers involved.

Alexander Beetle

08-08-2011, 07:33

I find this shocking! I cant believe they can do this. It is so cruel and such an archaic form of punishment.

SimplyMum

08-08-2011, 07:38

I would be furious if this happened to DS. I don't think it's appropriate at all that children decide other children's punishment- it's a complete inbalance of power and can get particulary ugly. They should be focusing more on working him to prevent such things rather than putting so much effort into punishment. If they put that much effort into helping him overcome these 'feelings' than perhaps there would be no need for punishment.

For me personally- I wouldn't be going with the whole 'disabled' act. I think you need to be careful with these sorts of things that they don't become 'excuses'.

the girls mum

08-08-2011, 07:40

That is freaking HORRIBLE!!!

HOW dare they humiliate him every. freaking. day.

This makes me so so so so angry for your poor boy!!!!!!!!!!!!

I would be speaking to someone IN CHARGE at the school.

xxxxx big hugs xxxxx

lambjam

08-08-2011, 07:52

Wow :eek:.

I complained a couple of weeks ago because my son's year 5 class were allowed to choose team-mates in PE and I was assured that even that practice was not usually encouraged and would be stopped.

I don't believe in giving children that kind of power over each other, and I don't believe the education system does either. Let alone the fact your child's behaviour is a result of a disability and beyond his control (and therefore beyond such primitive disciplinary techniques).

Disgusting :(.

anewme

08-08-2011, 08:30

OMG that is so wrong.
I have a adhd child too, I was you I would writting a formal complaint to the school, the catholic education board, the education board and the minsiter. This no way acceptable. I would take my child out of the school. There is no way I would allow the school to treat my child that way.

faroutbrusselsprout

08-08-2011, 08:40

That is wrong wrong wrong on SO many levels.
Your poor son, I'm so sorry je is being subjected to this.
If I found out my child was made to VOTE on the behaviour of another child I would be absolutely livid and appalled.
It's like some sick 'lord of the flies' reenactment.
I hope you can speak to this poor excuse of a teacher asap.

nothanksbye

08-08-2011, 08:41

Oh my goodnes. Thats exclusion and humiliation.
Since when was it , one strike and your out?
I would go to the school and demand an explanation.

This needs to be cleared up before it gets worse. 9 year old kids rarely hold grudges, the adults are forcing them.

Emsmum85

08-08-2011, 08:48

So every single day for the last week your son was forced to stand in front of the classroom and have everyone vote whether or not he could play?! He's 9!! Doesn't matter if he's ADHD or not, that is STILL disgusting!! It's so damaging to any 9 year olds selfesteem let alone a ADHD child! Punishment should not be doled out by other 9 year olds, they're pretty catty at that age. It should have been a meeting with you, the teacher, the guidance counsellor, your son and the Principal! Not the Assistant Principal who obviously has rocks for brains!

I'd be making a formal complaint and DEMANDING an interview with the Diocese in your area if your son is going to a Catholic school. That is just so wrong on so many levels.

shockinamillion

08-08-2011, 09:11

shinebrite

08-08-2011, 09:14

Anyway on Friday my son tells me that on Monday, the assistant principal came to the classroom and has decided that due to him misbehaving or being disruptive, each day before lunch, my son must stand up in front of his classmates and ask them if he is able to play at lunch, they then have a show of hands who thinks he should play, needless to say, every day last week he spent his lunch time in the library alone, but then told to have a run to get his energy out before class started back.

Ah you lost me at this part! I'm furious FOR YOU! that's down right disgusting and pure humiliation REGARDLESS if you have a medical label put on you! I'm so so sorry that happened to you, I'd be reporting this 'assistant' principal and contacting the department of education if nothing was done! I don't condone hitting NOR humiliation of such a young, vulnerable child! You poor woman! My heart goes out to you.

TurnedBatty

08-08-2011, 09:17

Oh god. I could cry. Your poor little boy:( Please make a formal complaint. What s horrible thing to do! Kids shouldn't be segregated like that. :(

Goblin Queen

08-08-2011, 09:20

When I opened this I thought, Oh no, kids being bullies, but an ADULT started this, a teacher. I am so disgusted. How humiliating for your son! I would be making a complaint and pushing for an apology at the very LEAST.

That's what I was thinking too! I cannot believe they're doing that. It's completely horrible. :(

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FloatingFairy

08-08-2011, 09:26

I am just in so much shock and disgust!!

F**K If that was me (Was diganosed as a child with ADHD AND ADLD) I would've punched the assitant principle for being such a see you next tuesday!! My blood is litterally boiling right now!

Regardless of whether or not your son has behavioural issues, that is NOT fair punishment.

What the f**k happened to the good old days of scab duty picking up trash on your lunch break, or writing lines.

gah Im so sorry for you and your son!! God I want to set that school on fire lol im so mad for him!!!!!!!

Boobycino

08-08-2011, 09:30

Omg that is utterly disgusting! Definitely make a complaint!!! What is wrong with some people that they could initiate the bullying of any child. Disgraceful! So disgusting. I was bullied in school and guess who started it? My teacher :-/ she very effectively gave my class permission to bully me because she didn't like me - because I was 10 and smarter than her and asked questions she couldn't answer so instead of saying 'good question - lets find out' she would pretty much just tease me and insinuate I was stupid for not understanding the clear information she provided. (that looking back was incorrect, hence my confusion ;) )

It's disgusting that some teachers can't leave their personal problems at the door and can't refrain from openly humiliating innocent children.

RmumR

08-08-2011, 09:31

what a humiliating and shaming thing they are putting your poor boy through on a daily basis.
by involving the whole class it like a group bullying session.

i cant believe its the assistant principal instigating it. definently something you need to take up with the principal or even education board

Guest1234

08-08-2011, 10:29

Oh. My. Gosh. If it were my child in your sons situation, heads WOULD be rolling. No, they would be FLYING! That is absolutely appalling.
What punishment did the kid that called him a f@got get? Little pat on the wrist, I assume?

JaneDoe

08-08-2011, 10:42

Like the rest of the posters who have replied I am both shocked and appaled at this humiliating, degrading act that your son is being put through!

I would be demanding a meeting with the principal, assistant and teacher to get the facts and then making a formal complaint to both the education dept and catholic education office!!!!!!!!!!

Did they vote on what the punishment for the foul mouth snot who called your son a f@ggot should be?! Wouldn't think so!!!!!

~Danni~

08-08-2011, 10:45

just disgusting :eek: :no: I want to give you and your boy a massive hug, I have no idea how you didn't go down there and snap them one. I would be complaining to anyone who will listen and seriously thinking about wheather a school change is a better option.

Are you friednds with any of the other mums in the class? have their kids spoken to their parents about this? I can guarentee you I would be just as disgusted if my child was being made to "vote" in this horrible daily event. Not something my child should be learning to do :(

AllYouNeedIsLove

08-08-2011, 11:09

I think you should be demanding that the principle and teacher both stand up infront of the rest of the entire staff and give you and your son a massive apology!! Let them see how humiliating life can be infront of their peers too!

duckduckgoose

08-08-2011, 11:14

missie_mack

08-08-2011, 11:37

It is bullying, plain and simple. I would be investigating how this is happening (to make sure I had all the facts) and demand an appointment with the Principal to lodge a formal complaint- regardless of whether this is resolved or not this should be marked on the teachers record. If I couldn't resolve it there I would be going to the Director for your diocese. Most Catholic education offices have their policies on their website if you are looking to arm yourself for the meeting. Otherwise you can always make a complaint to child services

EchoSummers

08-08-2011, 11:49

As someone with ADHD myself...that's just...Wow.

Should he have hit the kid who verbally
abused him? No. Does he have a neurobiological disorder that inhibits
the regulation of impulses and the ability to 'think through' some decisions? Yes.
Was this poor decision exacerbated by the
emotional stress of the verbal abuse?Yes. Should your child be subjected to the very
well documented debilitating effects of
social exclusion from his peers, at the
hands of an authority figure? No.
Is this discrimination because of his ADHD? Quite possibly.

Is this an utterly unnacceptable punishment
and should you notify the education
department?

Abso-freaking-lutely.

RunningWithScissors

08-08-2011, 12:08

Completely unacceptable!!!

DS had ADHD and has never been treated like that and he has has some pretty spectacular 'issues'!

They NEED to be helping him with his anger management! My DS is allowed to leave class if he starts to feel angry/upset/out of control, and find his favourite teacher, or any teacher of his choosing. This has worked for him for the last 5 years.
That way he is not embarrassed in front of others. He also feels like the teachers are 100% on his 'side'.

I'd go in and demand an apology! I'm so upset for you...I feel like going in there myself and giving them a good freakin talking to!

pinktasha

08-08-2011, 12:56

Wow.. Thank you everyone for your support, we are currently waiting to hear back from his teacher, I just want to make sure I have all the facts of what's going on before I go any further, and I definitely like the idea of making the principal and teacher apologize to him in front of everyone, and I have suggested to his dad a number of times that I would like to take him to another school, but my husband has a view that he will not get the assistance he needs at a public school, which I know is not true, if anything we would get more help, I have struggled with his school over the years in regards to his help, I know the teachers try their best but i just feel it's not enough, will definitely keep you updated on what's happening, and I just want to thank you all for your support, it's truly overwhelming and reassuring to hear that I'm not overreacting about it all!

teenie

08-08-2011, 14:05

Hi pinktasha. I've just read through this thread. I am a teacher. If this is happening you are by no means overreacting! I am appalled and saddened if this is how the situation is being handled. Big kudos to you for asking questions before taking action. I know as a teacher I always appreciate parents who ask first (as in not shoot first and ask questions later). But honestly, if you find that indeed this is what's going on you have every right to be horrfied and to complain and ask for a resolution accordingly. Please let us know how you go. Big hugs.

lovelymum

08-08-2011, 16:53

I would be complaining to the education department straight away, what dispicable behaviour. Nobody has the right to treat a child or for that matter any other living being so poorly. Your poor little guy :(

Eleven Eleven

08-08-2011, 17:03

Disgusting! I would be leaving the school and making a formal complaint. That principal who decided that is as bad as the horrid children who "vote" him not to play.
Everyone knows children can be cruel to each other, why give them the tools to encourage that!

River Song

08-08-2011, 21:15

what happened today?

InBetween

08-08-2011, 21:18

my son tells me that on Monday, the assistant principal came to the classroom and has decided that due to him misbehaving or being disruptive, each day before lunch, my son must stand up in front of his classmates and ask them if he is able to play at lunch, they then have a show of hands who thinks he should play, needless to say, every day last week he spent his lunch time in the library alone, but then told to have a run to get his energy out before class started back.

If this is true (and I think it well may be), I think you will find that the Principal would be in a lot of hot water should you decide to lodge a formal complaint.

As for me, I'd be lodging a formal, written complaint and I'd be keeping him at home until CathEd does something about this.

Thumbs down to the teacher for allowing it to get to this stage too.

elleandsam

08-08-2011, 21:50

If they don't respond to a formal complaint I have two words for you Today Tonight.

I'm so sorry you and your child are going through this, how utterly disgraceful.

mummykitty

08-08-2011, 22:08

If they don't respond to a formal complaint I have two words for you Today Tonight.

I'm so sorry you and your child are going through this, how utterly disgraceful.

Sad as it is sometimes taking it public is the only way to get it addressed.. Definitely think the teacher owes your DS a VERY public apology (like in front of a school assembly) I'm furious for you that is disgraceful good luck

BreadRoll

08-08-2011, 22:22

... what makes this all worse is that because its a catholic school (private school) i bet you're paying an arm and a leg to have him there - effectively paying big $$ to have your child abused and discriminated against. Make a formal complaint and pull him out.

I'm not a catholic (or christian for that matter) but i dont believe the punishment he is being subject to is very "christian".

lastly have you considered speaking to ACA or TT?? they'd have a field day with this one. (not that i generally agree with their brand of grubby pseudo-journalism)

Edit: i didnt realise someone else had already suggested this. Great minds think alike.

krystallxx

08-08-2011, 23:01

Haven't read the other replies but ...

Oh my god. That is absolutely disgusting ! How dare the school or anyone really humiliate your ds! I would be effing ropable! He threw one punch, one time, got his one day of punishment. It should have ended there!

Your poor ds, I hope his okay and doesnt/hasn't been bullied any further because of that.

DaughteroftheForest

09-08-2011, 11:42

:eek::eek::eek: HOLY F**K! That is unfathomably disgusting!

How DARE they do that to your little boy?? If that were my son I would be marching up to the class teacher while all the parents were dropping theirs kids off in the morning and having a class A, level 5 melt down in front of everyone. I'd also be taking my son out of that school asap and reporting them to whoever would listen.

I was bullied horribly in school and the ONLY thing that made it any better was the fact that my mum never gave up on me. She never acted like it was ok and was constantly down my teachers/principals throats to do better. At a time when I felt lost and lonely, at least I knew that my mum believed I deserved better.

lovemybabies!

09-08-2011, 12:59

Your poor son, I feel so sad for him. How could an adult do such a thing and not see how horrible it is?

Hope you get it sorted

AllYouNeedIsLove

09-08-2011, 14:01

refunding of some school fees would not go astray either!

Cinderella82

10-08-2011, 00:32

This is horrifying.... hugs for you & your son. As a teacher, I like a pp often see parents shooting first & asking questions later, & so I do agree that its wise to get the story from the school first & really get to the bottom of it. We had a similar situation in which the children in a grade 4 class took it upon themselves to make up a 'roster' of who a girl with special needs was allowed to play with each day. The teachers had no idea, but when the parents figured it out they came to the school & told us what was happening, & we could put a stop to it & guide the children to be more inclusive. But when this girl told her parents about the roster, they could have misinterpreted it as being instigated by the school & would have gotten very upset if.they presumed the school was not being inclusive. I truly.truly hope for your sake that its a misunderstanding & isn't as it seems, but if it is, I would be pulling my child out of.the school ASAP, asking for a refund & complaining to the educational.department. hugs.

trishalishous

10-08-2011, 00:59

no advice but :hugs: to your little man! theres NO way the class should vote like that, its SO inappropriate for the teacher to even SUGGEST it!

Redtulip

10-08-2011, 09:56

I could not read and not reply.
Firstly how horrible for your son. This is just unacceptable- it is bullying and by someone who your child is meant o respect only makes it so much worse.
I really hope that you get answers soon.
My mum has worked in disability services- and for over 15 years in schools working specifically with special needs kids (both Physical- emotional and behavioral issues) in both public and private so I have a great appreciation for the special needs department and how they can benefit a child into integrating into regular school without any stereotype casting.
I would bertainly look into what other local schools you have on offer- and what they can offer your son in regards to assistance and learning.
Best wishes for a great outcome for your DS :fingerscrossed:

River Song

10-08-2011, 21:53

how did you go with the school??

am thinking of you and your boy :hugs::hugs:

delirium

10-08-2011, 22:17

I felt really upset reading this, thinking if this was my child :( I agree with others, you need to take this to the education dept. I would be pulling him out of that school, that is straight out abuse.

DD goes to a public school and she has a boy in her class who I believe has ADHD (of course they don't disclose this sort of thing to other parents). DD's teacher is wonderful with him. I can't speak for every public school, but given what your son has endured, the public system would be a better environment than where he is.

poppyseed

10-08-2011, 22:36

Absolutely disgusting. My heart broke for ur son when reading this :( I wld seriously be looking into ur rights and what can be done about the behaviour of the school.

lovemybabies!

10-08-2011, 22:49

Just wondering how you went

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melbryan

10-08-2011, 23:04

You don't have to be a teacher or principal to know that what was done is wrong on all levels. The poor child having to be sujected to this sort of humiliation. I am a teacher and the thought of doing that to my students would be unthinkable. I just wonder if they put themselves in that position how might they feel. I know I would feel alone and hated by all my peers, this leads into depression and all sorts of emotional problems. You sound like you have the finger on the pulse and am a mother who will fight for their child. My heart goes out to you. I hope you find a school who can nurture your son and his disability and then you may see him thrive in an environment to encourages him and works with his difficulties. i teach Autistic children and they are not easy but there are ways of dealing with them in a way thatis loving and kind that is how they come round to you and your way of thinking.

Zombie_eyes

10-08-2011, 23:15

How heart breaking, please update us.

Biggest of hugs to you and your special little guy.

backgroundnoise

11-08-2011, 08:30

That is horrible!!!
When I was in primary school there were several kids with ADHD in my class and, though they were disruptive, never got humiliated like that. Perhaps look into a public school?

Living in the 1980's with technology from the 2010's.

Zombie_eyes

11-08-2011, 09:41

my hubby is a teacher, so I'm not going to bash teachers, but I'm also a parent and my child is autistic, which is a disability. I think for an AP it's more serious than if just the teacher came up with it on their own... The AP is in a much higher place of power, and for all we know the teacher felt like they couldn't speak up and say it was wrong, so I'd be interested to hear all sides of the story... Having said that, as a parent I can understand people getting revved up about this, this is different to other career disputes for one, children are far more vulnerable than a grown up, the teacher or AP are in an a place where they are there to teach and guide these children, they help mould children into who they are going to be, especially primary school, when something like this happens, and it's clear that regardless of punching incident, this child is an innocent, there is no way this child could defend himself from this sort of bully/ degrading behavior... When something seems so unfair, of course people are going to be out for blood when a child is involved.. I think everyone involved needs some form of counciling, and I hope because the AP is the AP they actually do get some sort of punishment, because honestly this is just not on.

nothanksbye

11-08-2011, 09:45

I think they are 2 very different circumstances.
The child has ADHD so he is going to find it hard to make good snap decisions without proper supervision.
The AP and teacher are trained and expected to know childrens rights and appropriate behaviour.
I expect children to learn and need guidance.
I expect AP's and teachers to know that humiliation and exclusion is wrong.
I would be worried at the behaviour of the adults as its quite a powerful position they hold.

pretty simple really.

nothanksbye

11-08-2011, 09:47

I am in no way saying what they have done is correct. It is very wrong and they should be held accountable. An apology to the parents and an apology in front of the class, along with an explanation of why it's wrong (these are kids, after all and need to understand bullying happens on all levels) would be appropriate.

Let's not forget that the student has ADHD, NOT "a disability" as another poster wrote.

He hit another boy provoked, yes, but still, he physically assaulted another child. A PP has said that this boy has paid his dues by being excluded from lunch play for one day.

So appropriate punishment for assault is being excluded from lunch play for one day, bt appropriate "punshiment" for a teacher who followed AP direction, and an AP who made a very poor choice is to end their career?

Seriously?

The trouble with being a teacher is that everyone (well, most people) went to school. This means that everyone places themselves as an expert in the sphere of education. Luckily us teachers have governing bodies who manage incidents like this rather than inflated egos and anonymous Bub Hubbers. Has no-one here ever made a mistake in their career? I think you'll find most employers would require an apology and counselling before firing an employee.

do you know the teacher in question?
you seem very invested and all the bubhub attacks are quite unnecessary.

backgroundnoise

11-08-2011, 10:06

Cinderella82

11-08-2011, 11:02

But they know what they're doing is wrong. The boy already had his punishment and now what they're doing to him is abuse.
Ive seen teachers get fired for less.

Living in the 1980's with technology from the 2010's.

....What 'less' have you seen teachers get fired for? Just curious, as I have never seen a teacher be fired before (as a teacher myself), so I'm interested to know!

FloatingFairy

11-08-2011, 19:53

Pinktasha, how are things going now? Have you spoken to the school or had any progress in sorting this mess out?

:hugs:

delirium

11-08-2011, 20:02

It's a shame to see this thread take the turn it has. The bottom line is that the teacher and AP are university trained in educating and interacting with children. That is their job. If the AP can't uphold basic rules of empathy and respect for their students, IMO there is something fundermentally wrong.

Please update us OP

Crazyfamily

11-08-2011, 21:06

i hope you have had some kind of true response about this. I can tell you that there are teachers and principles that will lie when put on the spot to get themselves out of trouble. how do i know this??? Because the principle of my kids school is himself a bully and so was my dd grade 1 teacher. Problem was although this principle and teacher told the district office their version of events, the emails that were sent to me BY the PRINCIPAL proved without a doubt he was even trying to bully and 'silence" me. I got a formal appology from both and the principal is NOT ALLOWED to approach my children unless it is an emergency. Sadly though nothing happened to "professional" involved. I feel for you. my dd has no friends and teachers making that situation worse is terrible.:hugs:

KatiesMum

11-08-2011, 22:17

thanks all - but can we please keep this thread to support the OP.

:goodvibes:

KatiesMum

11-08-2011, 22:28

The issue is whether or not such a treatment of THIS child is appropriate, and what actions the OP should take with regard to the school. Not whether or not he has a learning disability.

If you wish to educate people or debate what is or isnt a disability, or the appropriate behaviour for such .... feel free to start a new thread.

Thanks

Cinderella82

11-08-2011, 22:53

I know what you're saying, nowhere.... often children with ADD are just seen as 'naughty' kids & there can be a real lack of understanding about the fact that children with ADD often have little or no control over their actions, & they really need support. I have taught children with ADD and ASD, and they have all needed understanding, support, and grace. I had a parent of another child tell me that a child in my class with ADD was just naughty & a product of poor parenting, & that she didn't want this child around her son, & she demanded he be expelled or she would take it further. It took a lot of time with me & the principal educting her for her to understand this child's needs (&that we cannot expel a child for having ADD!), & she was really nasty to the ADD child's mum & to me. I guess that's where.the teacher really needs to stand up for the child, and advocate on their behalf, and I'm sorry op that it seems this has not happened for you.

pinktasha

11-08-2011, 23:12

Hi everyone,
Sorry for not replying earlier me and my 8 month old have been sick the last few days and I haven't had the energy to do anything!

Again thank you to every one for your kind words, and I understand everyone has different thoughts on ADHD and everyone is entitled to their own opinion,

Anyway, hubby spoke to my sons teacher on Tuesday afternoon, I told him to talk to her, only because I can get a bit overly emotional sometimes lol,

Basically he asked her what was going on and why she though this punishment was a good idea, she told him that apart from the punching incident ds had been having some trouble at lunch time with his anger, and he was yelling at other students and getting angry slot more than usual, and that the ap had thought that doing this would be a way to get him to behave better in order to be able to play at lunch time. Hubby told her, firstly, if he has been having problems we should be the first to know, there has been no communication with us therefore how are we supposed to help them or reprimand him for his behavior, of course he doesn't tell us when he comes home what happens. and secondly how did she not see that what was being done was a form of exclusion and group bullying by letting the children decide on whether he can play or not, he told her we are happy that if she sees fit to exclude him from lunch it is fine, but what they had been doing is totally wrong, and that luckily our ds is ok as any other child could be easily traumatized by this, she told him that as of Tuesday the voting was no longer taking place, and she has now started a journal that she sends home each day with notes on his behavior, she did apologize for what had happened, he told her that we understand that he can be a handful to deal with but that we thought she understood better and would have thought that this type of punishment was wrong.

I'm currently trying to write up a formal letter of complaint to give to the school asking them to apologize to my son and basically just letting them know how unhappy we are with this whole situation, I haven't seen his teacher this week but will be seeing her tomorrow to talk to her as well. I don't agree that she should be fired or anything, she has been a great help with our son over the years but i am very disappointed with her over this situation.

Sorry for the long post, and I'm sure I've left some stuff out, but I'm just so tired lol, i will post back again once I hear anything else,

But I just wanted to thank everyone again for your support and understanding,

Nowhere

11-08-2011, 23:26

Cinderella82

12-08-2011, 09:26

I'm glad to hear your DH spoke to the school, good on you for being so level-headed about the situation (it's always better than going in yelling & demanding!) & it sounds like you have been really wise and mature about it. I really hope you get the resolution you want & your complaint is dealt with properly so it doesn't happen again to you or anyone else. :hugs: I hope u feel better soon!

FloatingFairy

12-08-2011, 09:33

:hugs:

Hopefully now they can work with you in order to help teach your son when his behaviour is inappropriate rather than just condone further inappropriate behaviours by his peers.

xkwzit

14-08-2011, 07:19

Several offtopic posts have been deleted. Having an argument about where ADHD sits in medical diagnosis is just creating white noise which is not directly helpful to the OP as she manages the position her child has been put into. Wider discussion of ADHD probably does deserve a thread of it's own.

Pinktasha, I'm glad you have spoken with them and your are totally right in insisting that you are the first point of contact when such drastic "punishment" is decided. I think formalising your complaint in a letter is also an excellent idea. Surely there are better ways to deal and hopefully everyone will learn something.

Cheers