In SUCH a pickle. Help and advice please....!

[faroutbrusselsprout]

FOB to his credit has always been really really good with child support. We have a private arrangement which some years has been waaaaaaaay more than child support has assessed.
Anyway this year for the very first time his assessment is actually was zmore than our private arrangement.
I've alway said I am grateful for him paying more when he didnt have too and that He was welcome to earn as much as he wanted as I was happy with our arrangement.
That being said.... My family tax is now being reduced by $180 a month. $180 a month I budget for our entire family (3 kids)
I'm feeling really really ripped off now! I'm getting $130 a month less than what I should be and now $180 a month less family tax!
I've spoken to him quite openly about it and he seemed to see my point but didn't offer anymore money.
He lives over the other side of the country and has been paying for DS's flights each way which is also great....
He said that because he has always paid more that should make up for it.. But I now have 3 children that I need to consider.
He obviously has no responsibility to my other two children but I somehow feel as though they are missing out now!
Honestly. What would you do...?
Honestly

[Benji]

Could you ask him to go halves with you in more of your DS' expenses, it sounds like he's pretty understanding about your payments being lowered. Maybe it would help you if he could help with things like extra curricular activities, clothes, school fees, etc.

That sucks :( :hugs:

[TurnedBatty]

I honestly wouldn't take more money. Or much more anyway. With us, fob is now working and earning a fair amount. My child support should be 230 a month. I have previously thought "hmmm, we are broke....." but I just couldn't ruin a good thing.

It works out as what, 60 a f/n? Or something? So maybe just ask if he could even give you an extra 30 a f/n just to cover some costs? Hopefully he thinks that's reasonable

[faroutbrusselsprout]

It's funny because we also pay child support and this year the exact same thing happened with DH's ex and she asked is to make up the difference.. Even though she has another baby so effectively making up her family entitlements for her TWO children (one DH's).
So I feel really....wrong....asking him to compensate me for money that is for two children that aren't his!
aaaarrrrrggggghhhhh SO confusing!

[faroutbrusselsprout]

Could you ask him to go halves with you in more of your DS' expenses, it sounds like he's pretty understanding about your payments being lowered. Maybe it would help you if he could help with things like extra curricular activities, clothes, school fees, etc.

That sucks :( :hugs:

I know.... he did suggest that but I really really wanted to avoid ut. We have barely any contact, we speak maybe 4 times a year to discuss DS's flights. I really really want to
Avoid more contact between us as it always ends badly.!

[Fuchsia!]

Im in the exact same position actually.

The ex always paid a bit more than he was suppose to, then all of a sudden her yearly income went up and the assessment went up but he can't afford to pay the amount now, just the amount we agreed too years ago. So now my FTB goes down $160 a month.

We have tried to dicuss and work it out, but there is no way.

He cannot pay me the estimated amount and to be honest i don't want him to because i already get enough, but now my FTB has gone down, i need the money.

The only thing we have thought of is increasing his time with the kids on paper even though he lives away. So that his percentage of care goes up but then my payments go down again!

I have no idea, i think in the end so its fair he will have to pay the half of the money i will be missing out and i will have to cop the rest and re budget everything. I have no idea otherwise.

[faroutbrusselsprout]

Im in the exact same position actually.

The ex always paid a bit more than he was suppose to, then all of a sudden her yearly income went up and the assessment went up but he can't afford to pay the amount now, just the amount we agreed too years ago. So now my FTB goes down $160 a month.

We have tried to dicuss and work it out, but there is no way.

He cannot pay me the estimated amount and to be honest i don't want him to because i already get enough, but now my FTB has gone down, i need the money.

The only thing we have thought of is increasing his time with the kids on paper even though he lives away. So that his percentage of care goes up but then my payments go down again!

I have no idea, i think in the end so its fair he will have to pay the half of the money i will be missing out and i will have to cop the rest and re budget everything. I have no idea otherwise.

Oh wow..... I didn't think of that. He's in my care 100% on paper. But does stay with FOB a few weeks a year.
How much % would I need to
Increase it to make a difference??

[Fuchsia!]

i think its about 30% im not sure, you could work it out on the calculator.

But im not sure what the ramifications are. I think FOB is then entitled to that % of your parenting payments and also the supplement payments.

I hate it, me and the ex had a good thing going, and the only reason he made more money was so he could pay child support!

The other way is to get him to under estitmate his earnings and then your payment will go back to normal. The ex and i done this last year. But now im thinking we stuffed it up because it will mean when he does his tax, his real earnings will be put in and then i may have to pay back money to centrelink or he will owe me money.

I have no idea, its all complicated and i hate it so much. I just want the amount he pays, he is happy to pay that amount, im happy to recieve that amount but then as soon as his earnings change centrelink comes into play and ruins it all!

[Benji]

I know.... he did suggest that but I really really wanted to avoid ut. We have barely any contact, we speak maybe 4 times a year to discuss DS's flights. I really really want to
Avoid more contact between us as it always ends badly.!

Fair enough, I feel the same way. I go without just to keep the peace and to ensure DS isn't caught in the middle of any animosity.

I have to agree with Fuschia, the whole thing is complicated and I find CSA cause more trouble than they're worth most of the time. I wish I was never caught up in this mess too.

Hope you find a way around it x

[Amara]

You need to tell CS & Centrelink how many nights a year the child is not with you. My son goes two nights every fortnight which is not enough to alter my payments but it does reduce my ex's CS payments to me. It dropped by about a 1/4 when the change occurred. So you might find you are entitled to less child support if you advise them of the facts.

[Fuchsia!]

how did this end up working out?

[faroutbrusselsprout]

how did this end up working out?


Good grief! I have only just seen this now...Sorry!
It worked out as follows if you can keep up -
I am losing $90 a fortnight (ie - $30 for each of my children)
FOB is paying me $50 a month more to make up for the $60 a month I am losing for DS1.
My FTB still is reduced obviously but because he has paid me well over what CS has calculated in the past, I am just letting it go.