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Eleithyia
12-07-2011, 22:25
It is such a taboo subject. I dont think that I could go to a GP and actually say anything out loud in order to get help. But I hate holding all this in.

At 16 i fell pregnant for the first time, during the school holidays of year 11. I had a miscarriage. I never went to a Dr, i was too scared. I bled for a week, slept and cried. No one but my DP knew. I recovered, and went on with life. Tried not to think about it.

At 17, on 18 Nov 05, and then at 18, on 6th Oct 06, i had terminations. I remember these dates, and always will. It was always something i was opposed to, I think I would have happily gone through with having a baby, but i let DP's feelings override mine, and agreed to have the terminations. We could barely support ourselves, at times lived in a tent near a river, didn't have a car, lived off noodles and cheap food. For years, i made myself believe that the decisions we made were the right ones.

In January 09 I fell pregnant again, I was so happy, DP was for termination, i disagreed, I was going to have my baby. (He never sat in that room, wearing the ugly gown, hugging a little blanket. The scans were the worst, there was my beautiful little baby up on the screen, which was Directed right at me as i laid there, i closed my eyes, tried not to look. Those images are burnt in my ind for forever. After it was over, i never spoke of it again). I had a miscarriage. I felt like it was my punishment for terminating my previous pregnancies, i didnt deserve this baby. Now that i wanted to go through with the pregnancy, my baby was taken away.

At 21, i fell pregnant with DS. Since having him, I have more than ever before thought about my pregnancies, my babies. What i did, what could have been. What they would look like, who they would take after. when would they have sat, crawled. Their first words. The regret, guilt, shame and self hate I feel daily makes me sick. I look at DS, see how beatiful and amazing he is. See and feel how he completes me, and know that I could of had this years ago. I wish I could go back and change what I did. But I cant, and I have to live with that. Little Angels, i am so sorry.

I dont expect any response. I just needed to get i out. Thank you.

A's Mummy
12-07-2011, 22:28
Just wanted to send you some gigantic hugs :hugs::hugs::hugs:

deany
12-07-2011, 22:34
awww you poor darling *hugs to you*.
it sounds like maybe seeing a counselor will help you grieve properly?
i never terminated but i have experienced misscariages and i found for me naming my first angel baby helped me recover even though it was to early to know the sex etc.others find buying a christmas deco specially for the angel baby helps just acknowledging their existance or buying an item ie booties kept in a draw helps as well.dont feel that you have to keep this bottled up and if your unable to talk to a councilor maybe continue talking about it here or writing a diary will help you.

kittykawaii
12-07-2011, 22:48
I wish I could tell you the words to make what you're feeling go away. But the truth is, I'm struggling with my feelings too. It's hard to talk about and most people don't understand. :hugs:

Sent from my HTC Incredible S using Bubhub

remembertobreathe
12-07-2011, 23:25
Something that helps me through sometimes regardless of the situation, my mother always said that it's the right decision when you make it. Don't beat yourself up, it's time to let go and make peace <3 xoxo

mrsd
12-07-2011, 23:35
There's a group called Rachel's Vineyard who specialise in counselling women who've had miscarriages and abortions. They're meant to be very good and can help you hold some sort of memorial service, too, as part of the healing process.

I hope you may find closure so that you can enjoy your DS with a free heart.

krystallxx
12-07-2011, 23:53
Something that helps me through sometimes regardless of the situation, my mother always said that it's the right decision when you make it. Don't beat yourself up, it's time to let go and make peace <3 xoxo

I agree with this. Noone IRL knows about my termination except dp and me. While I felt and still feel so horrible for what I did ( and allowing myself to get pregnant ), At that point in time it was the best option.
I look back now and think 'well yes I could have coped and everything would have been okay' I didnt know that at the time. I had 4mth old twins, I was a few weeks off 18, relationship was a disaster, I had not much support because I was basically dumped by 97% of people I knew for being pregnant at 16 with s guy noone liked. I have made peace with my decision because I know that's what was best at that time!

Hugs, it's a hard choice to make and it can be hard to live with. Please don't feel guilty, you did what was right for all involved at that time. Enjoy your ds :)

Eleithyia
17-07-2011, 15:18
than you so much for all for your kind words :hugs: