Baby always in my arms..any tips??

[only1mica]

Hi all

Now please dont get me wrong I love holding my 2 month old bub...but she always wants to be held(especially today)...and it can get a bit tiresome.

Any tips out there so that I dont form a pattern that she always wants to be held. Today she wanted to be held basically all day. Everytime I would try and put her down she would become very unsettled no matter how much patting, body rocking, touching her face/forehead I did...I would just have to pick her up again.

:fingerscrossed: someone has an idea to help.

Thanks all

[FourAngelKisses]

* sling
* put her in the pram and elevate her slightly so she can see you....reassure her but don't pick her up unless she gets too distressed.
*bouncer/rocker as above

No other ideas, sorry. I had to carry my DD around for 10mths straight because of her reflux so I know how hard it can be. If it doesn't improve.....you will be surprised at what you learn to do with one hand.

[SilverStarfish]

Do you have a sling? I adore my Hugabub :smiliedance: , it's the only thing that lets me get ANYTHING done on days like that!

Sarah generally isn't a clingy baby though so I'm not to worried about the occasional day where all she wants is to be with me.

[Shebb]

I know we hate to hear our children cry, but it may just be what you need to do to break this habit...

How about putting bubs down, walking away, then checking on her in 5 minutes if still crying... extend the time between checks until she learns that it's okay to be alone because Mummy will always be there for her.

Of course you would need to make sure her cry doesn't mean something else - like needing a nappy change or having a wind.

And, if you are concerned about her wellbeing at any stage, see your doctor or child health nurse.

All the best! :)

[Seekrit]

Sometimes Cobey yells (not cries) until he can see me. Then he stops (and sometimes smiles, cheeky brat) I bought a Breastfeeding pillow simply so I could sit him up in his portacot and he could see me when I'm cooking or whatever. :) Maybe that's an option (although it seems that your bub wants the security of being held... hmm)

Does Eve have a dummy? Cobey will settle fine with a dummy. I'm also introducing a blankie so that he gains comfort from that rather than me all the time (ie: when I go back to work)

I've also been told that a good method is to tell HOW they're crying.. ie: if you put her down and she yells or cries in an attention way, just be reassuring., lots of "shhhh" to try and settle. If it's a distressing way, that's when it's time to pick her up, yanno. Not controlled crying where you let her scream for 3 minutes etc, but just seeing the types of cries. (which I know is hard, but that's also why you're there reassuring her)

Otherwise, I'm not sure what else.

[elissas]

I had the same thing with DS, and my ring sling got a great workout.

I've recently had him to a chiro that does a gentle technique called Network Spinal Analysis. Turns out he's been out in a number of places all along. Since treatment he has been so much more content and extremely settled. Isn't clingy or anything - is just happy to be with me or by himself!

When I used to put him down asleep he'd always wake as I was doing it and wriggle around, cry and arch his back. But not anymore!

Maybe get her looked at by someone practising this technique. I can't recommend it highly enough.

It's also fixed his belly problems - he's always had problems with his digestive system, wind, etc.

[pookiesossige]

Firstly, check out www.hugabub.com I have one of these, as do many bubhubbers- it changed my life. PM Lunar if you would like her to make you a cheaper (but identical) version. There is nothing on earth like them!

Secondly- your baby is far too young to 'teach' how to self settle- all your baby knows is that your are her mother and she craves that contact, it's what the early days are all about... Controlled crying, or allowing your baby to cry in order to 'learn' not too cry (learned helplessness) is most certainly not recommended for babies under 6 months of age.

You don't have to let your baby cry, by allowing your bub to nestle into your arms or a sling you are not setting up a pattern of dependance- by meeting your babies need for contact you are doing the opposite- encouraging independence and emotional well-being as your gorgeous little girl grows. Then, before you know it, she has moved through this clingy, irritating stage and is happy to be on her own. You are obviously doing a wonderful job- as exhausting as it is! She adores you- you are her world!

[Mrs Potts]

Secondly- your baby is far too young to 'teach' how to self settle- all your baby knows is that your are her mother and she craves that contact, it's what the early days are all about... Controlled crying, or allowing your baby to cry in order to 'learn' not too cry (learned helplessness) is most certainly not recommended for babies under 6 months of age.


Sorry, but this is incorrect. Controlled comforting can be used from about 6 weeks of age. My DS didn't know how to self settle and we were taught CC at a sleep clinic at 6 weeks. We used a modified version of CC which doesn't leave bub to cry for as long as you would for an older bub. We had wonderful, permanent results within a couple of weeks.

Regardless, I think only1mica was talking more about putting bub down during awake times. I don't have any advice during these times as both my kids were/are quite happy to play on their own. Good luck with whatever you do.

[mum2bubba]

This happened with Hayley but it was my own fault coz I just wanted to hold her all the time after she was born (she was my first bubba) finally I just put her in her rocker and let her cry a little (no more than a couple of minutes) then pick her up, then put her down for a bit longer each time. OR I'd put her in the pram and we'd go for a walk.

[MrsMiggins]

My DD was the same - would just scream the house down if you so much as thought about putting her down any time she was awake (and quite often when she was asleep!!)

The only thing that worked for us was to put her in her vibrating rocker. That was the only time she could be awake & not being held & not screaming!!

That said, I don't think it's anything you've done, some babies just need that security, so I don't know that you can "train" them not to cry when they want to be held. But they do grow out of it eventually! My DD still gets a bit grizzly when she wants to be picked up, but once she started moving around, she would be happy to be placed down for a while.

[MordecaiAliVanAllenO'Shea]

At 2 months bubs don't even really understand that you are a seperate person able to remove yourself from them yet - they sort of think you are a part of them, so when you see it from their perspective it's understandable they can get a little worried when you are not right there. I don't think you are creating a habit holding her at this young age. My DS was like that when he was very young and I just got great at doing things one-handed - the sling is always a great idea. If she's still doing it in a couple of months then I might adress it at that stage.

I wouldn't leave her to cry for her awake time..try sitting on the floor beside her playing with her if you want so you're with her but she's not actually in your arms

Mel

[stellarella]

Try a sling. I have a hug abub and a ring sling which is good for breastfeeding in. The hug a bub is totally hands free, you can do all your chores without worying about bub falling out or getting jolted around.

[only1mica]

Hey all

Thanks so much for all of the advice.

She wasnt as bad today...she just keeps on changing on me :o
But I put her down in her rocker after a feed and a play and she was ok...till she got a bit tired.

Thanks again all:hugs:

Mic

[Seekrit]

Mic! Gimmie my baby back! LOL
I think Eve and Cobey swapped today! He was being a clingy "Only with mummy" day as well!

[tickle]

I honestly wouldn't worry about a two month old getting into bad habits. They are so small and just want to be close to you. They grow out of it so fast and soon don't want to cuddle at all.:( Both of my children have done this and my DD has already grown out of it (she's 5 months). I really don't think you can give them too much love when they are so little. It can drive you up the wall at times but that's when I say enough and we go for a walk or a drive to the park.
:fingerscrossed: she has another good day for you today.:hugs: