Im really struggling with the lonliness :(

[Ready To Run]

My dh does 2 weeks on 5 days off now. its been made official. i live in a remote crappy little town with no friends or family. ive got a 3 kids under 6 and im lonely and tired and stressed. i dont know how to make this work :( Theres no daycare or anyone id trust with my kids. no shops or anything. im am going insane. I get a call each night from df for 5mins from a sat phone with crap reception and have to get it together as i cant hang up knowing hes feeling any worse than he does about this situation.

[xkwzit]

Do you have to stay in town? Would his company fly him in and out of somewhere else where you can be happier? Would he consider changing jobs so that you can live somewhere else?

Sorry, so many questions - but what you are describing is my idea of hell frankly - I do hope that you have some options for change.

[Ready To Run]

Actually it is hell. If you read my thread from the other day, it explains why we have to stay for now. Thanks for the suggestions anyway :)

[mummaof4]

that must absolutely suck! :(

i ask the same q as pp though.. can you move closer to family & have hubs fifo from there??

[Ready To Run]

Just bumped the other thread if youre interested :(

[mummaof4]

sorry we posted at the same time.. i'll read your other thread now :)

[TinyLittleTootsies]

hrmm welll.... thank goodness for bubhub hey? At least that means you can actually connect with other people!

Is there something that you can plan? What about a holiday? You can make it for a years time and make it the BEST holiday ever that will take lots of planning/saving. You can waste lots of time online planning a great holiday, right now to the details, then you can plan heaps of saving tips etc and how to save. In a town with no shops, no takeaway etc you should be saving a bit, so in your head don't think "oh there are no shops, this sucks" think about all the money you can save by not going to the shops all the time etc and how good it is that you are getting so far ahead compared to other people in the city etc (I know groceries etc are more expensive, but it is cheaper to live in a place with no temptation.. been there!)

I don't know where you are, but I have lived in some pretty small, remote places and there were still playgroups, or small groups of women with kids meeting (like pretty much everyone in the town with kids made up the "playgroup") you don't have to like everyone.. or even anyone, but it breaks up the monotony of life a bit with such young children :yes: In a small town, you will always find someone who is looking for a friend. Can you put up a sign at the grocery shop asking if anyone with kids wants to chat?

Are there ANY social groups you can join? Is there a club that people go to on a certain night that you can start going to too? Is there a pool? A special local passtime you can get involved in to make friends? Any volunteering for commitees? Most small towns are kid friendly, in that you can take your kids along to all of these things while you do them.

Then the obvious things that I can suggest:

Do an online course/degree, or even build up a few while you are stuck there!

Start a hobbie like scrapbooking your childrens lives thus far.

Learn to play a musical instrument.

Learn to play a sport/run.

Most of all.. just remember it is not forever and it is a good thing in the long run with DH having work :)

[Ready To Run]

Yeah i tried playgroup, last time i was ignored and stood under a tree with my kids. no one ate the food i took and they would come and get their kids if they played with mine. No loss anyway normally i wouldnt socialise with people like them, i tried.

[jadee22]

I know how lonely you feel. It really does send u to the brink of insanity. Just an adult conversation, a cuppa would change your mind set completely. I wait all day for the 5 mins I get to talk to my dh and then feel angry and emotionally drained when I hang up.

I think its important to still have a 'day off'. I do, right in the middle of each tour. No house work. No cooking. I put the tv on n climb back into bed for a few more mins. I sit on bh. Call a friend. Read a book. Have a bath n an early night.

I set myself little goals for the day. List of jobs to tick off and a hobby. Sewing, reading, watching a movie after the kids r in bed. It's all a sense of accomplishment. Makes the days go faster.

Pm me if u ever feel like a chat. Xoxo
Sent from my HTC Desire using Bubhub

[Ready To Run]

Today its been raining, was going to take the kids to the park but was too wet. Waiting on a litter of puppies, she was due today and looking a little uncomfortable before when I checked on her. its the first litter and df usually deals with this stuff, hoping all is ok. kids are in bed and getting lonly again :(

[Ready To Run]

Jadee22 Its hard isnt it? Im thinking about taking up patchwork and i need to stock up on scrapbook supplies. Im slowly discovering some tv shows i like at night. thanks for your reply, sometimes it feels likd im the only one in this situation.

[xkwzit]

Sweetie, I've read your other thread now. But at least there's a light at the end of the tunnel, even though it's 4 months away...and even if it is 4 months away, I'd start looking for a new job now. Maybe he can finish his assessment somewhere else? You never know unless you try. And he's so close to being accredited, you should start looking around NOW to see what's out there.

It will be so much easier when you have an end date in view - rather than it being forever IYKWIM?

:hugs:

[krystallxx]

Aww hugs !! My partner works away too. Although his not remote and I can talk to him if need be but it's hard while his driving all day. I get so lonely too! No suggestions but ur not alone xx

[Ready To Run]

Thanks guys so much for the support. when we get down to 2 mths were going to start looking so yes were counting down the days almost. We are going on a holiday in just under 3 weeks so hopefully well be refreshed and a little less stressed.