Leonic
24-09-2006, 15:04
Hi Everyone,
I don't usually post on bub hub but I am an avid lurker and love reading everyone's thoughts and advice.
I felt compelled to write something in this area, I feel I need to....Not for sympathy or anything like that! Just to know that other people who know exactly what I am feeling right at this very moment understand me and what I am feeling!
I thought was I was having was a extremely heavy and painful period, but it turned out that I actually had a miscarriage. The thing is though, is that 1. I didnt know I was pregnant, 2. I certainly wasnt trying to get pregnant and 3. I didnt really know if I REALLY REALLY REALLY wanted any children. ( I am a career women in my early 30's and having way too much fun still! )
Now I feel as if I am a little lost. Where is my place in life? Did this happen to me, so I could realise I do REALLY REALLY REALLY want children? Even though I didn't know I was pregnant, or at the stage that I was even thinking about it - why do I feel like I have lost something so substanial, as I was only 4-5 weeks? I never thought that if I went through something like this, is would affect me so emotionally! Afterall, I'm tough, I can handle right? Apparently I'm not so tough afterall (I've had to admit that to myself) and I've cried like a baby for most of the week!
Up until last week, I had everything in life the way I wanted it! I guess it is something I have to ponder, think about and work through!
Thanks for reading....
I don't usually post on bub hub but I am an avid lurker and love reading everyone's thoughts and advice.
I felt compelled to write something in this area, I feel I need to....Not for sympathy or anything like that! Just to know that other people who know exactly what I am feeling right at this very moment understand me and what I am feeling!
I thought was I was having was a extremely heavy and painful period, but it turned out that I actually had a miscarriage. The thing is though, is that 1. I didnt know I was pregnant, 2. I certainly wasnt trying to get pregnant and 3. I didnt really know if I REALLY REALLY REALLY wanted any children. ( I am a career women in my early 30's and having way too much fun still! )
Now I feel as if I am a little lost. Where is my place in life? Did this happen to me, so I could realise I do REALLY REALLY REALLY want children? Even though I didn't know I was pregnant, or at the stage that I was even thinking about it - why do I feel like I have lost something so substanial, as I was only 4-5 weeks? I never thought that if I went through something like this, is would affect me so emotionally! Afterall, I'm tough, I can handle right? Apparently I'm not so tough afterall (I've had to admit that to myself) and I've cried like a baby for most of the week!
Up until last week, I had everything in life the way I wanted it! I guess it is something I have to ponder, think about and work through!
Thanks for reading....